I know none of you know - but I'm interested to hear your opinions...

Zulu

This is a little complicated to I'll try to be clear.
As all stories start: I met a girl.
We were all out for the day, and having great craic. Some pills were taken later in the afternoon. Everyone went to a night club.
We (me and her) spent the whole time in the night club chatting to each other. (Everyone else disappeared dancing) We went back to mine for a few drinks (naturally it was a loaded invite) and we sat up the whole night chatting. It was fantastic, I've never been so interested in someone for ages, and I know she did really enjoy herself as much (I hope) ....we connected at the very least. We had a lie down and a little kiss the following morning, but nothing untoward. Naturally, all these facts considered it's pretty obvious she liked me to some extent, so here's why I'm second guessing...

1, the pills.
2, after we kissed, she said she hadn't meant to do that.
3, I got the impression - I can't stress that enough, I just got a general vibe that she didn't actually want to kiss me, it was just one of those things, she seemed hesitant.
4, although not that big a deal, I haven't gotten a text or anything during the week (I know that's pretty lame, but if she was REALLY keen...)

So the upshot is, I'm going to wuss out and text her. She how she reacts. I know there's a very very slim chance I'll ever meet her again, so I don't want to screw up, but I can't help feeling: I should know better/let it lie.

Whats my issue? Should I contact her or not? Is taking a pill about 12 hours before a consideration? Am I mad?

petes

Text her. Its not the wuss's way out. Did you/she say youd be in contact. Whats the worst that could happen?

quad_red

It's been a few days so it's hardly full on if you just text her.

Let her reaction help you decide what the situation is! There are a hundred and one reasons why she might have been uncomfortable - she was in a vulnerable position in ways if she had only just met you and ended back at yours. Plus, she prob didn't want you thinking that was easy (every girl, no matter how easy she actually is, wants a guy to think that).

Text her. You've nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Zulu

petes wrote:

Text her. Its not the wuss's way out. Did you/she say youd be in contact. Whats the worst that could happen?

Actually, there was a late night discussion about a big weekend away, loads of people, and I got her number to keep her in the picture. So there's that. But I feel I should be ringing to ask her out; a text could end up with a suitable prompt reply leaving no room to manoeuvre (which I suppose is an answer in itself).
Ah I will text. She was class. Just a really really nice person. I'm just anxious not to feic it up.

Zulu

quad_red wrote:

It's been a few days so it's hardly full on if you just text her.

Let her reaction help you decide what the situation is! There are a hundred and one reasons why she might have been uncomfortable - she was in a vulnerable position in ways if she had only just met you and ended back at yours. ...

Cheers, I'd like to believe this anyway!

quad_red

Zulu wrote:

Actually, there was a late night discussion about a big weekend away, loads of people, and I got her number to keep her in the picture. So there's that. But I feel I should be ringing to ask her out; a text could end up with a suitable prompt reply leaving no room to manoeuvre (which I suppose is an answer in itself).
Ah I will text. She was class. Just a really really nice person. I'm just anxious not to feic it up.

Agreed to an extent. Text her first - get a reply then call her. Calling her shows you've balls. Texting is so bloody ambiguos (are they interested blah blah blah).

You'll find out pretty bloody quickly what the situation is over the blower!

Zulu

quad_red wrote:

You'll find out pretty bloody quickly what the situation is over the blower!

Indeed, I'd much rather a face to face meet, a kinda per-chance out together, but unfortunatly, the friendship is just way to teniuos. (she a friend of a friend whos a friend of my friend! :rolleyes: ) So if I don't move I'll probably never see the girl again!

MojoMaker

ZZZzzzzzzzz....pick up the bloody phone or you don't deserve to get anywhere.

jcoote

give it a whack txt her and see what happens...u won't lose anything put it that way...just try talkin to her sober so u know whats goin on...pills can make everything seem so sweet...remember the add with everyone huggin????

SexyGoddess

Shes probably been waiting all week for you to text her or call her!!
At the moment she could be thinking the exact same way as you!

So text her when she replies call her have a chat ask her out bring her somwhere nice - its all that simple.

Really you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!! Text her

Tar.Aldarion

ah what a shock,somebody going should i text her,she is either going crazy 'why the **** isn't he texting me' or she isn't and you can work on it.nothing to serious.always text.My last girie didn't reply to my first text for three days...now that's evil!

Selik

Zulu,

Just text here. Simple as that. Just something along the lines of "had a great weekend there, fancy hooking up for a drink/coffee sometime soon" etc. It'll be easy to see if this is going anywhere after a few texts. At least if you text her it will be much easier to give her a call later on.

Oh and yeah, women can be such headwreckers with all this "I didn't mean to kiss you" sorta bull. I mean jesus when was the last time a bloke ever said that after snogging a girl!

Of course in this case you'd both had a yok or three and that can make one more inclined to do such things, talking from experience.

Best of luck with it anyway Zulu and don't chicken outta of it or else!

azezil

Giles wrote:

Zulu,

Just text here. Simple as that. Just something along the lines of "had a great weekend there, fancy hooking up for a drink/coffee sometime soon" etc.

pretty much what he said but i'd avaoid the phrase "fancy hooking up" heh

ParkerD

if you really like her, then go for it! what have you got to lose :rolleyes:

Zulu

I'm gonna text her people! I guess I was just trying to gauge the whole yips reaction.... ...aw fu*k it, I'm just stalling...

WhiteWashMan

stop pussy footing around and call her.

Gazza22

Just call her man, she would probably appreciate a call more than a heartless text! It's no big deal!

Stench Blossoms

Call her because she might not have credit to write back to a text.

LegacyUser

The pills couldve had a lot to do with why she said: 'I didnt mean to do that'. She couldve been coming down and just felt out of it. I did that a while ago. Took pills with this guy I was mad about and then we hooked up, but only as we were coming down... ruined everything for me, cause I got all mad paranoid.

Anyway, my point if I'll ever get to it is... she probably felt exactly the same way. You probably impressed her as much as she impressed you. After all, even though pills make you love everyone, you can only get to a certain level with certain people.

Stop worrying about it and enjoy the ride. Sounds like youre in for a good time with her (in a clicking kinda way), and suggestion: text first, call later.

Jivin Turkey

Text her I reckon. If she is not interested she has an easy way out. Its far more informal too IMO.

If she is interested she will reply, I mean lack of credit is hardly going to stop her.

Coney Island

Be man, pick up the phone and call her...it is more difficult to reject an invitation over the phone.

I personally use text messages only with those girl who I would go out with on a Sunday afternoon just to fill a boring day, sometimes even hoping not to receive an answer (difficult to understand, I know)

Beruthiel

what the hell is with you people and texting?!

you're a grownup aren't ya zulu?!
be a man, call the woman up and ask her out for drink, jeezz

Gone West

Up all night talking?
Don't want to patronise, but this smells of intellectual whorage.

Zulu

Beruthiel, you're right of course, and any other time I would have rang.

Well I texted (just a blip on the radar, a little private joke, ask how the week went etc.) and got a suitably short response. I had a pretty strong hunch though, so I expected as much.

...ah well it was worth it: nothing ventured, nothing gained and all the rest of it.

Cheers guys.

PS: "intellectual whorage" indeed. I'll let it slide as I don't wish to appear bitter.

Shabadu

Ah, the friend ladder. Poor Zulu.

Are you sure it wasn't just a short reply because she's feeling shy, or maybe a little dissapointed? If i had spent the whole night talking with a guy, had a little embaressed kiss the next morning etc. I would be a bit pissed off that he didn't contact me again except for a little glib joke almost a week later. Maybe she wanted you to make a move. is she a little insecure?

Beruthiel

this is why you should never text!

WhiteWashMan

its true, the text message has made absolute wimps out of the younger population.

although, i have no idea what 'intellectual whorage' is, and what the association is with staying up all night.
can someone explain please?

Shabadu

Internet phenomenonomoema

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/

Explains 'ladder theory' too.

Zulu

Beruthiel wrote:

this is why you should never text!

...or why you should follow your hunches

It's all good. If it's ment to be... blah, blah, if I had a penny for every cliche!

Zulu

Shabadu wrote:

Ah, the friend ladder. Poor Zulu.

... is she a little insecure?

I fear not the "friend ladder". It has never been a problem for me. As for being insecure - she didn't come across that way, but then again - I don't really know her. Perhaps.

Shabadu

I think you should call her.

Zulu

Shabadu wrote:

I think you should call her.

Fair enough old boy, but I'm pretty sure if she was interested, there would have been an effort made to ask a question in her responce.

Sleepy

Ah well, nothing ventured nothing gained!

jcoote

yeah thats another one dead in the water...if she wants u to go chasing **** her get another chick and more pills

Angelica Rocks!

oh my god, i'm a girl..... first of all, i would never ever even consider texting a fella first - should i?? i thought it was up to them to make the move. and secondly, i didn't know you had to ask a question to expect another text back!!!! i'm so clueless. thanks for the advice lads, it's useful for us girls.

Zulu

Sleepy wrote:

Ah well, nothing ventured nothing gained!

Indeed. Shame though. Possiably the most interesting girl I've met in .... ....6, 7, 8 ...sh1t, a very long time. I'm getting on...
Back to the drawing board.

petes

Give......her....a.....ring.

0utshined

Zulu,

You've spent the whole thread telling us how much you like this girl and you're going to give up like that?

Firstly, you can't infer tone from a text message. Can you be sure she isn't interested from her response? No. Unless she flat out said "I don't like you at all" you can't and she did respond after all.

Secondly, as it stands you've pretty much written this off so what exactly do you have to lose by ringing her? Worst case is she says no and you're already acting as if she's said this already. Best case is she says yes and you get to go out with her again.

Seriously man, you've been about PI enough so you know all this already. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call.

Zulu

0utshined wrote:

Zulu,

You've spent the whole thread telling us how much you like this girl and you're going to give up like that?

Firstly, you can't infer tone from a text message. Can you be sure she isn't interested from her response? No....

Ah it more the combination of things. It's a hunch.
As for giving up, it's more like taking a hint. I wouldn't like to appear pushy. I'll drop her a line when sorting out the weekend thing, then see if I can't get her out for a drink, but till then I'm happy to leave the ball in her court. Personally I think it's probably a safer bet. Calling her now, without some point to the call could appear a little... <I'll leave that one hang>

petes

I thought the point of the call would be to tell her you like her and ask her out. Maybe Im mistaken. But leaving it in her court. Wtf? As outshined said nothing can be interpreted from a text. If your happy enough to leave it then leave it. Up to you really.

Sleepy

Angelica Rocks! wrote:

oh my god, i'm a girl..... first of all, i would never ever even consider texting a fella first - should i?? i thought it was up to them to make the move. and secondly, i didn't know you had to ask a question to expect another text back!!!! i'm so clueless. thanks for the advice lads, it's useful for us girls.

Are you living in Victorian England?

Of course you can text a guy first.

Mary-Ellen

I just re-read your original message. and for some reason (I know they were your words and not hers) I got the impression she has a boyfriend. I think it was the "hadn't ment to do that" thing.

Char

and the penny drops.... (Sorry just been reading these posts and the last one seems to explain why she is so distant!)

Zulu

Mary-Ellen wrote:

I just re-read your original message. and for some reason (I know they were your words and not hers) I got the impression she has a boyfriend. I think it was the "hadn't ment to do that" thing.

Nope - safe on that front.
She split up with what was "her one ture love" a few years ago. She hasn't met anyone since. She's afraid that we only have one true love, and she was worried that she mightn't meet someone else. She wasn't lieing.

<well, as far as I could make out, I could be completly wrong, but I'm a fairly good judge of character ...I think>

...pretty much the same fear we all have at this age, I think.

Petes: my thinking is, she's old enough to know if shes interested, and if she interested, she has my number. I'm not expecting her to ask me out, but she's capable of thinking of something to put in a text to keep communication open. Wouldn't you think?

SexyGoddess

0utshined wrote:

Zulu,


Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call. Give her a call.

Yea what Outshined said!

Santa Claus

Zulu wrote:

Calling her now, without some point to the call could appear a little... <I'll leave that one hang>

what...surely you don't mean she might think you're "interested" in her :eek:

Zulu

Santa Claus wrote:

what...surely you don't mean she might think you're "interested" in her :eek:

Don't call me Shirley No, I should point out that a friend of hers had (early that day) confessed his undying love for her. I just don't want to appear clingy/stalkery/needy.

I'm pretty sure she knows I'm interested. ...she knows I'm interested.

gline

why you leaving her to make a move?? What have you got to lose by ringing her and arrrange to go for a drink or something... she says no, you have lost nothing., she says yes - then thats cool.


Youve nothing really to lose by ringing her. Maybe she is not contacting you for the same reason you arent contacting her (leaving it up to the other person). A text is nothing, short reply doesnt really meen anything, in my opinion. Maybe im wrong.....

petes

Zulu wrote:

No, I should point out that a friend of hers had (early that day) confessed his undying love for her.

Was he also on pills

quarryman

Zulu wrote:

Don't call me Shirley No, I should point out that a friend of hers had (early that day) confessed his undying love for her. I just don't want to appear clingy/stalkery/needy.

I'm pretty sure she knows I'm interested. ...she knows I'm interested.

god i never post in PS...

anyway, sounds like you got a negative response which isn't a winner but i don't think ringing her would actually help. you said yourself she has your number so see what happens.

if its all quiet let it go. i'd say you WILL come across a little pushy by ringing.

Santa Claus

Zulu wrote:

Don't call me Shirley No, I should point out that a friend of hers had (early that day) confessed his undying love for her. I just don't want to appear clingy/stalkery/needy.

I'm pretty sure she knows I'm interested. ...she knows I'm interested.

OK, let's break this down into easy to understand points

A. Some bloke expressed his undying love to her earlier that day :
She spent the night sitting up chatting with you and NOT the friend that expressed his undying love....What does that tell you ?

Soooooo, maybe she didn't mean to kiss you because she wanted to break it to that guy gently that the feelings were unreciprocated !

B. Ringing a girl may make you appear appear eager/interested/gagging for it, but I'm fairly sure that it's only after the 3rd call in 1 day to a young lady that you cross the threshold into needy/clingy/stalkery (Perhaps one of the ladies can clarify exactly how many calls it takes).

Come on Zulu, do it for PI and ring her !!!!!