Puzzled by a guy's behaviour......

Sammyjo

Hi all,

I dont know if this is more an AH topic or PI, but here goes....(and apologies for the length of the post!!)

I am totally baffled by a guys behaviour towards me. What happened was that I met a guy the week before last, we had a snog, he asked for my number and all through the weekend and early part of the week he was texting general chit chat. Half way through the week he asked me out for dinner on the saturday, I said cool, and so we made arrangements. Saturday morning he texted me to make sure everything was still ok for that nite and that he was really looking forward to seeing me

Then that nite, I was on my way into town to meet him and sent him a quick text to tell to tell him i was on my way. he texted back that he was held up, and could i meet him in town later on just for a few scoops. I said cool, a little put out, but went into town with a few of the girls. Half eleven came before he texted me, to say he was heading to a certain pub in town with some of his mates. I texted him and told him where I was headin, and when I got there he was already there with all of his mates. He then proceeded to blank me until about an hour later when he came up to me and told me he was leaving to go somewhere else with the lads!! I obviously didnt want to show that I was feeling a bit put out cos i dont know him, so i went somewhere else and then later on told him where i was heading after that. he was already in the place where i was heading to when i arrived, yet blanked me again. he said a total of about two words to me all nite, but at the end of the nite expected me to go back to a party with him. i said no. he said hed had a crazy nite, but had really wanted to see me....

im confused. he texted me once since to say hi.....but i dont know what to make of the whole thing!!!

any ideas??

Beruthiel

ya
he's an as*hole
ignore him and his texts

Setun

Dunno. Maybe embarassed in front of his mates?

Sammyjo

thanks beruthiel...thats the way im leaning at the mo!

he shouldnt have been embarassed in front of his mates....his mates werent supposed to be there....it was meant to be just the two of us going out!!

Beruthiel

Sammyjo wrote:

he shouldnt have been embarassed in front of his mates....his mates werent supposed to be there....

and even if they were
what age is he? 12??
I wouldn't waste another thought on him tbh

Hank_Scorpio

Seems like he was getting stick from his mates. They had all planned to go out that night and then back somewhere for a party. He probably told them he was going out with you and then started slagging him saying things like "Ah, you only met her, you're whipped" and adding the whipped sound effect too.

So to answer your question it's best to meet up with him during the day on a weekday perhaps and just talk to him about it. Don't let it stew if you like him

Setun

It was an asshole thing to do but the whipped sound effect and that can be hurtful sometimes.

Find out why he did it. It's probs some odd reason why he acted like that.

blahblah06

Sammyjo wrote:

thanks beruthiel...thats the way im leaning at the mo!

he shouldnt have been embarassed in front of his mates....his mates werent supposed to be there....it was meant to be just the two of us going out!!

Exactly. if the two of use were meeting up or going out he shouldnt be embarassed. move on. you deserve better.

pdunno

suonded to me like he was more interested in hanging out with his mates and then hooking up with you at the end of the night, tell him to get lost

super_furry

Steer clear, he obviously just want someone to go home with at the end of the night when his mates aren't about.

jcoote

showin off in front of his mates thats all...i'd say give him one more chance and tell him u were pissed off and if he's bein a bollix kick him up the arse and leave him to it

MicraBoy

Wow I'm impressed. The guy effectively stood you up, and had the balls to do it in your presence. Thats some paradox!

He's either a complete d1ck. Or he's incredibley immature, with no idea how to treat a lady. If that's his carry on, on a first date (remember guys are usually in impress mode at this stage), I wonder how the second date will go?

I reckon he's a waste of time. Unless you have some reason to want to be treated like that, why bother?

SexyGoddess

Beruthiel wrote:

ya
he's an as*hole
ignore him and his texts

I agree no way should he treat u like this! if you meet him out tell him where to go! Your worth more than this dont let any lad treat you like dirt!

LundiMardi

asshole

Nevyn

There is a huge diffferene betweeen going out for dinner on a date alone
and ending up bouncing in and out of pubs for the night.

What he did was unacceptible.
No point trying to figure out why, you can either have nothing more to do
with him or met him for coffee and ask him what the hell happened.

Sammyjo

thanks guys. im in two minds about what to do. i did like him and dont understand why he went to the trouble of texting me all week only to blank me!! but i know that he's the one with the problem...i know there was absolutely nothing i did to warrant that.

i figure its best for me to put it down to experience. thing is im going to see him most weeks as we go to the same places....

Beruthiel

Hank_Scorpio wrote:

Seems like he was getting stick from his mates. They had all planned to go out that night and then back somewhere for a party. He probably told them he was going out with you and then started slagging him saying things like "Ah, you only met her, you're whipped" and adding the whipped sound effect too.

So to answer your question it's best to meet up with him during the day on a weekday perhaps and just talk to him about it. Don't let it stew if you like him

why would any woman want to be with a bloke who doesn't have the b*lls to keep his word because his mates were slagging him?
weak

jcoote

Beruthiel wrote:

why would any woman want to be with a bloke who doesn't have the b*lls to keep his word because his mates were slagging him?
weak

its a big deal to a bloke to not have his mates callin him 'whipped' or 'under the thumb' or whatever...has a lot more effect than you'd think...still he should have let her know either way

THEZAPPA

he is an asshole!

you deserve better.

tinkerbell

He's a total twat! Ignore him and his stupid texts, he ain't worth your time at all.

Talliesin

Daddio wrote:

It was an asshole thing to do but the whipped sound effect and that can be hurtful sometimes.

Bollocks. You can deal with that in one of two ways, either just wink and say "ooh yeah" and turn the joke around, or just stop hanging out with assholes.

In fairness to the guy, it could be that he's deeply shy about dates. Still when you haven't even been on a date with him that's not really something you have to take on board either, so either way just forget about him.

Sammyjo

yeah agreed guys.

just on the friends front...his best mate that i knew to see from around kept coming over to me during the nite and actually told me the only reason all the lads were in the pub was because my guy told them that i was coming down and he had to see me there!!! his mate was also telling me that he hadnt stopped talking about me to the lads all nite!!!! go figure!!

MicraBoy

Sammyjo wrote:

thing is im going to see him most weeks as we go to the same places....

Don't worry too much about that. It will become easier to deal with after seeing him a couple of times. You sound like you know how to deal with him anyway. You may even get the opportunity to return the favour to him, and tell him he blew it the first time round and your not the sort of person to be treated like that.

Hank_Scorpio

I'll take you out for dinner. I think it would be good for both of us. Haven't eaten in days.

Only joking... but if you want I'll take you to dinner? Offers there.

The Clown Man

I wouldn't rule him out too soon. No one knows why he did what he did and it was a pretty stupid thing to do. But I'd hear what he has to say before making your mind up. But be sure to take anything he says with a pinch of salt.

For all we know he could have been reacting to a serious case of the sudden shys.

By all means, don't listen to him if you get the even slightest indication that he is "playing" but there could be a reason for his behaviour, you never know. I'd pay money to hear the explaination though!

Sammyjo

u cute hank?

ADUB?

I wouldnt waste anymore time on this guy, He sounds incredibly immature.
He is a P***k, not worth your time or anyone elses' till he grows up.
Tell him to F**K Off and ignore the Sad git.

Oh I meant to say ignore above, he sounds like a real catch!!!! Could see all the girls queuing up to be with him! Somebody who is a child and treats you like s**t, what a win win situation.

Hank_Scorpio

Hey Sammyjo,

I have a face like marmite... you'll either love it or hate it.

I reckon I'll have to stop with the jokes.

I've just pm'd you with more details.

SexyGoddess

Hank_Scorpio wrote:

Hey Sammyjo,

I have a face like marmite... you'll either love it or hate it.

I reckon I'll have to stop with the jokes.

I've just pm'd you with more details.

Ah... a blossoming romance ul forget that other twat in no time SammyJo!!

Beruthiel

hank

please do not use this forum for picking up women

any more 'off topic' comments from you will result in a ban.
B

Hank_Scorpio

Jeez I'm going red

Hank_Scorpio

Appologies to the moderator. I didn't realise. I hope I didn't offend anybody.

Hank_Scorpio

Just to let the moderator and everyone else know that SammyJo turned down the offer.

She had a very sensible reason and I have to say that I behaved very badly on this thread

Sammyjo

thanks again hank....its still good to know that after meeting a guy who will ask me out and then blank me in the same pub theres some nice ones out there though!!

Hank_Scorpio

Well I've never asked a girl out, changed locations, then blanked the girl. That's just not right. He is a fool. And I pity the fool.

Sifo

good effort Hank lol,

Maybe this guys ex was around or maybe he's so into you that he was afraid to approach you!!!

Why didnt you approach him? it is the 21st century after all!!! in saying that i really think he's just one of the lads and possibly isn't looking for something serious, but if he keeps messing with you, you can either let him, walk away an god knows it might happen again or you can mess around with this guy an gain some experience!!! if that makes any sense... probably not aye!!

mathie

Beruthiel wrote:

hank

please do not use this forum for picking up women

any more 'off topic' comments from you will result in a ban.
B

Ah come on thats a bit harsh isn't it? Is asking someone out against boards policy? :eek:

M

Beruthiel

mathie wrote:

Ah come on thats a bit harsh isn't it? Is asking someone out against boards policy? :eek:

M

the next person to go off topic gets banned
B

Gordon

mathie wrote:

Ah come on thats a bit harsh isn't it? Is asking someone out against boards policy? :eek:

M

It's an online community, people can do as they wish as long as they aren't contravening the boards rules. That post was off topic, which is contravening PI rules.

mathie

Gordon wrote:

It's an online community, people can do as they wish as long as they aren't contravening the boards rules. That post was off topic, which is contravening PI rules.

Beruthiel wrote:

the next person to go off topic gets banned
B

Guys people go off topic all the time. It'd take longer to find an on topic thread than the opposite. I don't see threats of bans dished out on all those threads.

Beruthial I don't ruling with an 'iron fist' is the aim of a community is it? Just my $0.02. Of course if you disagree feel free to ban me.

M

phillipfogg

hey does anyone else here like cats? i have a dog myself, his name is ruffles

Beruthiel

mathie
banned for keeping this thread off topic
B

Beruthiel

phillipfogg wrote:

hey does anyone else here like cats? i have a dog myself, his name is ruffles

banned

nesf

jcoote wrote:

its a big deal to a bloke to not have his mates callin him 'whipped' or 'under the thumb' or whatever...has a lot more effect than you'd think...still he should have let her know either way

Yes because going out for a meal with a woman he's just got to know is being whipped. Seriously, I really can't understand how anyone could think that way*


*excluding "adults" with the mentality of 12 year olds.

Santa Claus

Sounds like the guy is incredibly immature. What age are you both sammyjo ?
However it could just be that he is very shy, but sounds more like he's an asshole.

I'd say forget about him (And maybe typedef one of his mates to teach him!)

Sammyjo

the guys 28.....

jcoote

28 woah i was thinkin 20 at most...ah i see what he's doin i did it myself back in the day to a lesser extent...tak to him about it and tell him why your pissed off...

trust me he's not the waster everyone thinks he is...

if u think u could handle him bein a prick one more time then i'd say let him explain.if not just get shot of him

Sammyjo

after being listening to what has been said here today...im tempted to text him tonight...

jcoote

do it!!!!

the worst that'll come out of it is u'll lose someone u barely know...

Sammyjo

will let y'all know tomorrow whether i chicken out or not!!!!!

Morrigan

Sammyjo wrote:

after being listening to what has been said here today...im tempted to text him tonight...

Don't bother. Forget about him. Look upon it as a near miss, and don't get in any deeper! Look after yourself and run the hell away in the opposite direction without looking back! You deserve better. Don't give him a chance to make some weasily apology! Plus what he has to say could just make you feel worse. Don't subject yourself to any more of his crap. He sounds like a total loser :mad: