I've never ejaculated inside a woman :(

LegacyUser

I'm 25 and have had quite a few sexual experiences. I'm well endowed and know how to please a woman. I am even successful in bring my partner to orgasm, and can keep going for a long, long time... I'm quite healthy, slim and fit.

But for whatever reason, I don't ejaculate during the lovemaking no matter how turned on I become. At the best of times, I can keep going for ages (quite a long time believe me, like a gym workout) and then end up "faking" orgasm after the woman gets her pleasure (and I'm too physically tired to keep going). So ladies out there, I know how ye feel! Other times, I go for a while and then don't feel so turned on anymore, and gradually get softer - again, I'll pretend I've had an orgasm.

I don't know what will happen when I have to explain this to a future wife when we're trying to conceive

Do any other guys have this problem? Perhaps I should try better comdoms?
I know there are ones out there that help to delay ejaculation and make you last longer - I need the OPPOSITE! Something to make me more sensitive and easier to ejaculate.

Perhaps it's a form of performance anxiety? Like I can't fully relax during lovemaking, and this could be due to the use of a lot of visual stimulation from the age of 18 (when I first masturbated and ejaculated) to 23...?

DawnMc

Perhaps try different positions, I think this would help
Also, do you cum during oral?

seamus

1. Use a "sensitive" condom, or have the woman get you all worked up before penetration
2. Stop thinking so much

Hal1

Hmm, I see, maybe try watching some pr0n beforehand and perhaps a bit of foreplay this sould help you relax more and make the process more enjoyable for the both of you

0utshined

I believe it's called retarded ejaculation if you want to google it.

flowerpotfrog

i'm been deadly serious here so please don't take this the wrong way,

are you sure you're not w@nking too much? desensitised yourself? i hear some guys get very use to a particular way of getting themselves off that isn't easily replicated without a tight fitting hand.

LegacyUser

A couple of things to try:

1. buy different types of condoms and masturbate with them on - see which type gives you the best sensation.

2. try a different position. 'doggy style' where your partner raises her hips to meet yours while she rests her head on a pillow will give you more control and perhaps allow you to get into a good rhythm.

isolde

An ex of mine had the same problem. He didn't ejaculate during oral sex either, apparently never has. I really think he just didn't relax enough. He had amazing stamina and could go for hours, way longer than anyone else I've ever slept with, but to be honest it got boring, and I felt like I wasn't satisfying him. Tried lots of different things, but to no avail. I dunno, he seemed really into it, but just could never quite let go. Our relationship fizzled out anyway, for other different reasons, but the sex thing didn't help, I didn't really know what to make of it to be honest.

Steoob

HardOne wrote:

from the age of 18 (when I first masturbated and ejaculated) to 23...?

maybe thats the problem coz isn't it natural that a young teenager w@anks? 18 is extremely late to do such a thing....

planck2

Somehow I think this thread a pile of crap. "Hard one"?

shellby

it is a genuine problem
i know someone who was f*ck buddies with a girl for 2 years and nothing
but when he got with someone he genuinely cared about and it wasn't just somewhere to wet his d*ck it was a completely different story altogether
he enjoys it and comes every time
i know it might seem like bs but have you been with anyone you genuinely care for or have all these women just been flings or one night stands

Nevyn

planck2 banned for unhelpfull comments for a week.
Please read the charter,
have a nice day.
Thaed

Santa Claus

It can be a common side effect of anti-depressants or SSRI's.

logic1

You're gay.

.logic.

Nevyn

You're banned.

Please read the charter,
Have a nice day.
Thaed

Lenny

I am suffering with this problem aswell, I am finding it estreammly hard to cum aswell with the person I've been with the past few months, its really wreaking my head not too sure if its wreaking hers. I've tried loads of different ways, even when I think I am going to cum and start going real fast and then I do that for a few mins of fast pumping and then get wreaked, its the feeling of nearly being there, I haven't ejucilated in months now, I'm think shes starting to cop it because I've pretended loads of times that I've came and she does be telling me to continue while its still hard
your not the only one my friend!

delboy159

Luckily I'm not in the same boat. However, the few occasions I have experienced in an inability to climax it was usually linked to an emotional or physical tiredness.

Be it tiredness from too much stress at work or emotionally drained in some way or just physically tired. I remember being unable to climax when i was on a sun holiday - I hate hot and heavy weather - it drains me of energy, but went on the holiday anyway. I could rise to the occasion, but i could feel there was no "go" in me at all - I had enough energy to keep going for as long as I wanted - but after a few minutes I could tell there was no way swimmers would be going ashore......

Do any of you guys "feel tired" a lot of the time or work in physically or emotionally demanding jobs?

ven0m

isolde wrote:

An ex of mine had the same problem. He didn't ejaculate during oral sex either, apparently never has. I really think he just didn't relax enough. He had amazing stamina and could go for hours, way longer than anyone else I've ever slept with, but to be honest it got boring, and I felt like I wasn't satisfying him. Tried lots of different things, but to no avail. I dunno, he seemed really into it, but just could never quite let go. Our relationship fizzled out anyway, for other different reasons, but the sex thing didn't help, I didn't really know what to make of it to be honest.

This happened at the beginning of the relationship with my current girlfriend & she was getting all worried about the fact we'd be going at it for hours, she'd really enjoy herself but the fact I never "popped" bugged her. We just ended up trying a whole bunch of different positions, different places all over the apartment & so on & so forth, but now it's a mutually pleasurable thing.... but in fairness, it wasn't like I wasn't enjoying it before it was just I was having so much fun getting her off didn't really care if I popped or not.... we still have our sessions, but it's alot more fun & alot more interesting!!!!

But in saying that I had alot of one night stands before I met her so it wasn't like I was going to see these women again so I didn't really care about popping or not with them, I was just getting ****loads of sex with lots of good looking women & loving every second of that fact.... only became noticable as a 'problem' when I was dating someone!


::: ven0mous :::

chump

OP: Surely the woman would notice when you give her the condom to dispose of after the act?

LegacyUser

"Surely the woman would notice when you give her the condom to dispose of after the act?"

I would go straight to the bathroom and get rid of the thing ASAP after the act.

"even when I think I am going to cum and start going real fast and then I do that for a few mins of fast pumping and then get wreaked, its the feeling of nearly being there"

Yes this is exactly how I feel. So many times I'm like "this is it, come one..." but it doesn't happen, even though it is quite satisfying. I don't understand. Once I even went to a prostitute to explore this further, and to find out what was up with me, but I ended up having to just get her to to pose for me on the bed wearing a sexy miniskirt and boots, and I just masturbated and came to that - this seemed to be the only way I could get to orgasm. No amout of stimulation from her would do it - and she sucked, touched, kissed and even rubbed baby oil into the penis for all sorts of wonderfully sensual massages... not enough for this soldier to shoot his gun!

Perhaps the fact that I first ejaculated at 18 has something to do with it? Correction - I've been sort of masturbating since I was quite young, but only learnt how to bring myself to proper orgasm when I was 18. Late I know... but I didn't have anyone to show me, no brothers, etc.. don't know how the heck the rest of ye figured it out.

iguana

HardOne wrote:

I don't know what will happen when I have to explain this to a future wife when we're trying to conceive

Do any other guys have this problem? Perhaps I should try better comdoms?

Just curious and do realise that I'm not recommending this for your current situation, but have you ever had full penetrative sex without a condom? You seem worried that condoms are hampering you and this does allow more sensitivity and when you are trying to concieve you won't be wearing a condom will you? And there are other ways to concieve so I don't think you should be too worried about this right now.

As for how things are at the moment, how comfortable are the condoms you are wearing. There are thinner condoms on the market, I think Durex Gossamer are one. Also if you are well endowed, like you say, it is possible that the condoms you are using are hindering you and it may be worth trying a larger kind.

McGinty

Just a suggestion, but how about saying to yourself, not to come, and to have long foreplay with lots of teasing, but no touching of the genital region, that way you become very sensitive until the point of bursting and then you could have sex. I think if your in a relationship it will help to tell your partner, as it may clear the air.

Keyzer

chump wrote:

OP: Surely the woman would notice when you give her the condom to dispose of after the act?

WTF?
Like when you were a kid and you gave your rubbish to your mother?

"There ye go love, there's a used condom for ye...."

Dear oh dear....

TerrorFirmer

chump wrote:

OP: Surely the woman would notice when you give her the condom to dispose of after the act?

Eh....don't want to know your habits. Do you really think others hand a ****in used condom to the girl after they've used it?

Either you are one sick puppy or you just make assumptions that rise out of inexperience rather then experience.

About the OP, hmmm, thats an interesting situation. Gotta be great for the length of your sessions...I've never had this problem seriously, maybe the odd time it would happen that I'd be going forever, would feel a climax, then have it fade away....but normally, everythings fine.

Yeah, great help I was. I just had to give out to the ass for his used condom comment.

chump

HardOne wrote:

and then end up "faking" orgasm after the woman gets her pleasure ... I'll pretend I've had an orgasm.

Does it make any sense now, I was wondering how he got away with "faking it" when he'd hand her an unfull sheath after the act. It was a joke, a semi-sexist one. Obviously I should try to be less discreet with my jokes next time.

Boomer23

sorry man, but are you circumsised?

maybe if you have the old foreskin off it will increase stimulation

BaZmO*

HardOne wrote:

Perhaps the fact that I first ejaculated at 18 has something to do with it? Correction - I've been sort of masturbating since I was quite young, but only learnt how to bring myself to proper orgasm when I was 18. Late I know... but I didn't have anyone to show me, no brothers, etc.. don't know how the heck the rest of ye figured it out.

Are you for real? A brother to show you how to masturbate?? I don't know of anybody that had to be thought how to do it.

With regards to your problem, it sounds like your wacking off too much tbh. As some one else has said, sex doesn't have to be about coming ALL the time. Have a couple of sessions with your partner and satisfy her, not necessarily by having full intercourse, I'm sure you can think of ways to do it. And also don't masturbate for a few days and then have sex with your partner and see how it goes.

B.

RoadSweeper

Your thinking about cuming too much. Feel the pleasure and not think about the coming later. You but your self under pressure by the expectation. it will happen by itself if youi feel the feeling.

supersheep

Boomer23 wrote:

sorry man, but are you circumsised?

maybe if you have the old foreskin off it will increase stimulation

Circumcision is supposed to reduce sensitivity, not increase it...

Tar.Aldarion

i would say that circumsision would reduce it also and i wouldn't just suggest it willy nilly either for any reason.

OfflerCrocGod

Boomer23 wrote:

sorry man, but are you circumsised?

maybe if you have the old foreskin off it will increase stimulation

Ye and cutting your head off is a good way of clearing your thoughts........

HOT_ALPHA_MALE

You could have a great career in the porn industry.

LegacyUser

To be honest it sounds like youre putting too much pressure on yourself to cum with her, I had a similar problem, only way to beat it is to try relax, not worry about the actual ejaculation... then it should all come naturally

Le Rack

OP, no offence man but no one gets lessons in ****, not even girls!
When you think about it too much it stops anything happening, its happens girls too, I Was with a boyf, we had a free house, he was having a right time but all I was worried about was what time the parents would be home at and what would happen if we got caught, did not enjoy that day!

Bamboozled

I'm a female and I'm on the other side of this sort of problem. A partner of mine suffered like the original poster and eventually after years we got help and went to a doc. If you are not comfortable going to a doc and discussing it, there are a few things you can try.

Abstain from solo masturbastion. This is a hugely relevant issue.A very common reason for delayed ejaculation is this: most men have their first orgasm through masturbation. Many men go on to have quite a few more orgasms by continuing to `take matters into their own hands'. And, many men exert much more pressure with their hands than they are likely to experience during intercourse. In doing so, they essentially train themselves to sexually respond to lots of pressure. One reason young males use strong pressure during masturbation is they're often rushing to finish so they don't get caught. Then, as adults, they mistakenly think they need that same pressure to reach orgasm. Many men can learn to reach orgasm with a partner if they practice self-stimulation slowly and with much less pressure than usual. This can be done at any time, whether with a partner or not. Of course, self-stimulation just before one is likely to be sexual with another person must be avoided.

If you are in a relationship, it is the best way to deal with overcoming the performance anxiety. Performance anxiety features largely in most cases of retarded ejactulation. In a relationship with an understanding female and when dealing with this there should no pressure to perform, it is about enjoying, giving and receiving. In a relationship, which has open and welcome communication, she can take your mind off what you are thinking about - when you are wondering whether she is enjoying it or not. If you have open communication, then you should not need to wonder and it can be a great weight off your mind. Have no pressure to perform. Go back to the days of kisses and cuddles that were stolen around corners and were out of the line of sight of your parents. Bring back that type of adventure, where you and her have fun just for fun together, rather than having fun for it to reach intercourse. Take the pressure off. Relax in each other's company re-discovering foreplay - with the only intention of release being the release of daily stress and tension. It is not all about reaching the "goal" at this time.

Gradually build that up over weeks/months. While you relax in her company and she in yours, by the time you do go for full intercourse, the ejaculation problem is not at the forefront of your mind. The "goal" for those weeks and months would have been only to get intimate, rather than having sex or reaching orgasm for either. (Of course she is going to want to at some stage and it is fine to take it further - but step by step.)

Focus on things that are sexy to you. It can be some aspect of your partner's personality or body, a hoped-for experience or an embellishment of the situation you're currently in. The brain has an amazing way of propelling sexual arousal forward even when the physical stimulation is different or less intense than usual. Teach your partner how to stimulate you by hand or orally in the way you like best. Many women think that all men like more or less the same things. While there tend to be some common characteristics, good sex can become great sex if subtle nuances and personal preferences and kinks are part of it. This means that you'll want to be in a state of mind that welcomes the sexual sensations your partner is offering you. Set aside concerns about how you look as you become aroused. Luxuriate in the physical gifts you're getting moment by moment. Check whether you are focusing excessively on giving your partner pleasure. Sex with a partner is not about giving only; it is also as much about receiving. Decide to really be comfortable receiving pleasure. You'll feel better and so will your partner.

There's another common approach to sex that slows things down - often intercourse is begun too soon in the sexual encounter. Many men with delayed ejaculation have the idea that they'd better start working at it early on because they fear that their partner will tire out if the whole experience takes what the partner considers `too long'.

This leads to missing many an erotic experience that builds the arousal level - not to mention missing out on a lot of fun. Rushing to intercourse, in essence, short-circuits things. Many people feel that going straight to intense genital stimulation numbs what could have been intense pleasure if only one's partner had built it up in graded fashion.

Give up watching the clock with a time limit in mind. Remove time constraints completely. Let go of that pressure on yourself. Many people enjoy a man's taking his time while moving through his sexual responses. Keep in mind that you can `take matters into your own hands' while in bed with a partner. Many men and women bring themselves to orgasm while a partner adds extra caresses or kisses. You might be underestimating how arousing it could be to your partner to see you stimulate yourself. Also, as well as how arousing it can be to your partner to watch, it can show how you like, how fast, how slow, how much pressure etc. And you can both discover different ways and different sensations.

Take a look at how you feel emotionally during sex. Are you angry? Anxious? Afraid? Depressed? These emotions activate the sympathetic nervous system, which in turn blocks the arousal needed to reach orgasm.

Other factors that can be contributory to delayed ejaculation include obsessive-compulsive disorders, marital conflict and chronic substance abuse (alcohol and drugs). Delayed ejaculation is often related to anger or resentment. It could also result from lack of emotional involvement with the partner and fear of commitment.

Many physical causes too can contribute to delayed ejaculation. These include many neurological and endocrine illnesses, diabetes, cancer, prostate problems, drugs such as those employed for the treatment of psychiatric illnesses and high blood pressure, and surgical intervention that can affect the ejaculatory apparatus. Physical and psychological factors often co-exist. All these conditions will require specialist intervention. If you have had a male MOT like advised in all the papers and mags, physical shouldnt be a concern unless you have previously been diagnosed by a doctor, and that doctor should have addressed side affects and concerns about sexual performance at that time.

Did I mention relax? Did I mention take the pressure off? Did I mention that there should be no pressure to perform? Either from you or her?

Recognise a recurring theme? Get rid of that block and gradually you will notice a change.

Selik

Some good advice for the original poster there Bamboozled. Are you a sex therapist by any chance?

If not then maybe you should be!

Supercell

Not being a smart ass here, but if intercourse with women doesnt seem to turn you on..well..perhaps you are having sex with the wrong sex but just havent realised it yet yourself.

Selik

Longfield wrote:

Not being a smart ass here, but if intercourse with women doesnt seem to turn you on..well..perhaps you are having sex with the wrong sex but just havent realised it yet yourself.

If that's not being a smartass I don't know what is tbh....

Besides I don't think that the orginal posters problem was not running the marathon, but more to do with getting over the finishing line!

Bamboozled

Giles wrote:

Some good advice for the original poster there Bamboozled. Are you a sex therapist by any chance?

If not then maybe you should be!

No i'm not. When the guy in the relationship is going through it, you both go through it to solve it and/or accommodate it.

Its actually more common than most people think. Retarded ejaculation is on the way up and is caused by a lot of factors that most females and males experience in todays world. There isnt much out there on the net about it, and Sex Therapists are often unwilling to diagnose it, but it is a serious condition. Premature ejaculation was thought of a "fad" too years ago along with Erectile Dysfunction, and wasnt considered serious. Viagra and the like were brought out for those, but because RE is not talked about (it usually involves acts of bravado - "hey i can go for hours" etc, rather than talking about the serious underlying issue) people dont think it is a condition.

The younger you are when you seek treatment, the higher the success rate is. Over 40's experiencing this condition are often refused treatment. There are so many factors involved and when guys hear or read about it, and suddenly go "thats me", one or more of the factors usually apply. There can be quick solutions and there can be long drawn out solutions that take years. There are also those that never find a solution.

There are different types of RE and if the OP wants more information, then I can provide more. Just ask.

Le Rack wrote:

OP, no offence man but no one gets lessons in ****, not even girls!

The "wrong" way of masturbation can cause RE. It is advisable of those that suffer from RE (when they have kids - or if), to pass on advice on how to masturbate properly because of problems. There is a condition called TMS (Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome) whereby its done prone or "face-down", and if guys were told how to masturbate TMS wouldnt happen. TMS sufferers experience RE in later life if they have not "re-trained" themselves. Its just one way of preventing RE but Le Rack's comment reminded me of that condition and what it can lead to.

HardOne wrote:

I don't know what will happen when I have to explain this to a future wife when we're trying to conceive

There are many ways (tried and tested) of RE sufferers going on to have families of their own, without solving the RE problem. Some might be considered crude, but if you are in a relationship with an understanding woman who you would be marrying, then there are ways.

One other thing on the RE - be selfish. RE sufferers tend to be "givers" more than "takers". Take more. Be selfish. Satisfy her first and then do whatever it takes to be selfish. Dead silence, extra stimuli, dirty talk, nails etc - ask, because you will need certain definate stimuli that she wouldnt know of unless you have told her. Some folks find that a bite on the thumb can distract them enough from the concentration of the "goal" to be able to let go in the moment. Certain tactics like that, that produce a certain amount of adrenaline in the guy can reap rewards at the perfect moment.

For others:
Ladies, it is not your problem. If you are with a guy that is suffering from RE, unless they acknowledge that there is a problem then there is nothing that YOU can do. It is not you, you are not too fat, ugly or holding onto too much cellulite.

Gwyllin

Very good post by Bamboozled. But I get the impression though that sex is so important to people here. You're in a relationship to get to the level where you can have sex. And have sex just for the sake of having it. Not particularly with that special one, that super hero of your life, but with... someone. I understand the problem that is being discussed but.. Where did romance go? Is sex some kind of self-obsessed self-gratification to people here? It isn't that to me so I probably shouldn't care about it.. This is not something I write because of what Bamboozled wrote in the second last paragraph. "Be selfish" No I understand that thing..

But tell me, Bamboozled. What are the causes of RE? This is actually quite interesting.

drunkenfool

Bamboozled wrote:

No i'm not. When the guy in the relationship is going through it, you both go through it to solve it and/or accommodate it.

Its actually more common than most people think. Retarded ejaculation is on the way up and is caused by a lot of factors that most females and males experience in todays world. There isnt much out there on the net about it, and Sex Therapists are often unwilling to diagnose it, but it is a serious condition. Premature ejaculation was thought of a "fad" too years ago along with Erectile Dysfunction, and wasnt considered serious. Viagra and the like were brought out for those, but because RE is not talked about (it usually involves acts of bravado - "hey i can go for hours" etc, rather than talking about the serious underlying issue) people dont think it is a condition.

The younger you are when you seek treatment, the higher the success rate is. Over 40's experiencing this condition are often refused treatment. There are so many factors involved and when guys hear or read about it, and suddenly go "thats me", one or more of the factors usually apply. There can be quick solutions and there can be long drawn out solutions that take years. There are also those that never find a solution.

There are different types of RE and if the OP wants more information, then I can provide more. Just ask.

The "wrong" way of masturbation can cause RE. It is advisable of those that suffer from RE (when they have kids - or if), to pass on advice on how to masturbate properly because of problems. There is a condition called TMS (Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome) whereby its done prone or "face-down", and if guys were told how to masturbate TMS wouldnt happen. TMS sufferers experience RE in later life if they have not "re-trained" themselves. Its just one way of preventing RE but Le Rack's comment reminded me of that condition and what it can lead to.

There are many ways (tried and tested) of RE sufferers going on to have families of their own, without solving the RE problem. Some might be considered crude, but if you are in a relationship with an understanding woman who you would be marrying, then there are ways.

One other thing on the RE - be selfish. RE sufferers tend to be "givers" more than "takers". Take more. Be selfish. Satisfy her first and then do whatever it takes to be selfish. Dead silence, extra stimuli, dirty talk, nails etc - ask, because you will need certain definate stimuli that she wouldnt know of unless you have told her. Some folks find that a bite on the thumb can distract them enough from the concentration of the "goal" to be able to let go in the moment. Certain tactics like that, that produce a certain amount of adrenaline in the guy can reap rewards at the perfect moment.

For others:
Ladies, it is not your problem. If you are with a guy that is suffering from RE, unless they acknowledge that there is a problem then there is nothing that YOU can do. It is not you, you are not too fat, ugly or holding onto too much cellulite.

sorry have to laugh, that is utter bull****!! but you put it so well, kind of.

LegacyUser

Ye have no idea how glad I am to hear people closer to home with this problem. I'm also male 25, having sex for the last 15 months with my first partner and have never ejaculated during intercourse. I've even gotten to the stage where I think "this is it" the pleasure is so intense and *BANG*....nothing

My girlfriend used to worry that I was not sexually attracted to her, which is so very very far from the truth. I love her very much, and she is to put bluntly "HOT!" in my eyes. My first time was not as I expected because the sensation was not as strong and I didn't climax, she instead finished me off using her hand. I can perform any position she asks for and I always bring her to orgasm, sometimes multiple, depending on what we're doing and how she's feeling. The routine has continued to this day, with the odd exception here and there involving oral sex and her on top facing away from me going quite hard. I started to worry that she would leave me over this so I started doing some research online, and yes as people said that perhaps I was too used to masturbation and the force of that was different from intercourse. So I tried slacking off myself and although I was only able to abstain for about a week max at a time, it still made no difference. So then I started questioning my mindset and was I getting myself in to a catch22 by worrying whether or not I was going to come. I wasn't. I was nearly getting to the point of orgasm and I would just "lose it" all of a sudden.

So in the end I went to the doc, and he diagnosed me with phimosis. It's when the foreskin of the penis does not easily (or at all) come down over the head of the penis. His suggestion was circumcision. Both I and my gf were well against this idea and had talked about it before. So instead I asked him were there any alternative treatments and he gave me a prescription for Betnovate, which is a cream that is associated with skin problems. It is supposed to help the development of skin cells, and make it easier for the skin to stretch. So I started to use this cream and voilla, with a bit of force I can now pull the foreskin over the head of my penis about half way. Although the opening at the top of the foreskin is quite small still, it's a bit of a squeez, but it's not painful like before, where I couldn't pull it down over the head at all. I mean in all fairness guys I hear people joke about having a tutor for masturbation, I know that sounds stupid, but when you're young and a method works for you, you're not going to question it, or wonder is it any different to anyone else. I didn't even know up until my visit to the doc that the foreskin was supposed to come down over the head, or even could. I mean if you have nobody to ask or nobody to tell you, how do you know if you're OK yourself, until you run in to a problem.

How this all happened I would imagine is due to masturbating the wrong way. Instead of pulling the foreskin back during masturbation I was pulling it foreword over the top of my penis instead of down over it. So throughout the years my penis grew in size, but the opening at the top of my foreskin didn't. So right now I'm in the process of self treatment with this cream, and it seems to be making a difference. I've read online that circumcision was the main method used to solve this problem, but because of complications that appeared afterwards in some cases, this method is now offered. I could shoot my GP for immediately suggesting circumcision because once I went under the knife I could not go back, and if anything went wrong I would go cracked.

So anyway I'm hoping fingers cross that this will be the sollution to my problem. I'll let ye know. But from my reading online this problem is quite common, and nothing to worry about.

I hope some of you find what I posted informative

Nightwish

my BF got circumcised cos of that problem, and he reckons it was 1 of the best decisions he ever made.

LegacyUser

i have phimosis too but it's not as severe as yours, my foreskin comes down over my head ok but it's a bit painful after a while. Circumcision was the only option i was made aware of but i didn't opt for it as i'm not too bad a case, let us know how you get on with that cream, i might give it a go if it does the trick for you.

LegacyUser

Would just like to say a huge thanks to everyone that helped me and responded seriously to my post.

Especially Bamboozled - your advice is very helpful, and all of the stuff you've said I've stored for future reference. Funny, some of it was actually stuff I had figured out myself (like less intensive masturbation and getting the penis to become more flexible and not always pointing up).

I am getting there

Tar.Aldarion

Nightwish wrote:

my BF got circumcised cos of that problem, and he reckons it was 1 of the best decisions he ever made.

:eek:
that would freak me out i think.


how far is it meant to go down people!i have no idea as i dont get to see other lads that often.i believe i did it 'wrong' for a few years as a very young lad and am wondering did it affect me in any way.

Deadwing

A few of my friends and i have said on several occasions that wearing a rubber can be a huge turn off and can make you take forever to come, if youre sure youre both clean of sti's, get her on the pill and give her an oul' bang or two, youll be grand.

Kinetic^

BeenThere wrote:

How this all happened I would imagine is due to masturbating the wrong way. Instead of pulling the foreskin back during masturbation I was pulling it foreword over the top of my penis instead of down over it. So throughout the years my penis grew in size, but the opening at the top of my foreskin didn't. So right now I'm in the process of self treatment with this cream, and it seems to be making a difference. I've read online that circumcision was the main method used to solve this problem, but because of complications that appeared afterwards in some cases, this method is now offered. I could shoot my GP for immediately suggesting circumcision because once I went under the knife I could not go back, and if anything went wrong I would go cracked.

Penis enlargement for the penniless!!!

po0k

Deadwing wrote:

A few of my friends and i have said on several occasions that wearing a rubber can be a huge turn off and can make you take forever to come, if youre sure youre both clean of sti's, get her on the pill and give her an oul' bang or two, youll be grand.

Or slip on a Durex Ultra Mega Thin and not get the gout.

Bamboozled

Deadwing wrote:

A few of my friends and i have said on several occasions that wearing a rubber can be a huge turn off and can make you take forever to come, if youre sure youre both clean of sti's, get her on the pill and give her an oul' bang or two, youll be grand.

Sometimes it can be a condom being too thick to feel through. A lot of the time its not as simple as that. It takes more. And it takes hard work outside the bedroom, as well as a heck of a lot of understanding.
Mind you the exploration and "homework" from therapies are quite entertaining. It's no harm trying without the condom as long as you have done what Deadwing has said about STI's etc. It may just be as simple as that if the sufferer has only recently started suffering from RE, but a lot of RE sufferers have been silent about it for years and have already tried the no-condom route.

HardOne wrote:

Especially Bamboozled - your advice is very helpful, and all of the stuff you've said I've stored for future reference. Funny, some of it was actually stuff I had figured out myself (like less intensive masturbation and getting the penis to become more flexible and not always pointing up).

Good going for using the other head - your brain. Not many do and this is why the problem is so unknown. Congrats on acknowledging the issue anyway. The is the hardest and worst part of all. The therapy and the solutions are so much easier once you have taken that step.(so the guys say - i wouldnt know.)

For future reference, for you and any unregistered viewers of the thread, check out the link below. While the page file is called "premejac" it does describe anorgasmia which is another name for retarded ejaculation. Its a very long text page so if you or others are going to read it for help and ideas, I'd advise you print it out. It describes Sensate Therapy, which works for some, but not all. Even if it doesnt work, its a lot of fun and that's the whole point: to have fun, not to just see the "finish".


[edit]I have a link to one one of the most informative pages ever on this issue and would answer many many questions that are usually asked of this condition. Just PM me [/edit]

Gwyllin wrote:

But tell me, Bamboozled. What are the causes of RE? This is actually quite interesting.

Physical causes include:
Diabetes mellitus
Multiple sclerosis
Spinal cord injury
Sympathectomy
Tabes dorsalis
Proctocolectomy
Stroke
Cystectomy
Aortoiliac surgery

Drugs/medication can cause RE - such as antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications. A guy suffering from RE can become depressed because of it, and will usually only seek help (if he ever does seek help) for depression. A doctor will prescribe anti-depressants and most of them cause RE as a side-effect. Without the doctor being told that the patient is suffering from RE and that its the cause of the depression, he will unknowingly prescribe the wrong sort of ant-depressant. If the doc is told about the RE, the doc can prescribe an anti-depressant that doesnt have RE as a side affect. The depression lifting can go someway towards curing the RE as the secondary cause of it can be gone. This gives a guy added confidence and can sometimes solve the problem. If it doesnt solve it, then the doc can refer the guy to a specialist or sex therapist. There are few medications out there for depression that dont cause RE, but the most widely used ones to treat depression do cause RE and that is where a worse issue is caused. It can be doubly frustrating for the guy then - knowing he has RE, knowing it is a side-affect of the medication also, causes twice the issue.

There are emotional and psychological causes of it also. Things like communication between the couple - when its not good can lead to RE, pressure from others that a guy must be seen to be a sex machine - ready to go at the drop of a hat etc, self-doubt, anger, performance anxiety (biggest cause of RE), lack of attraction/lack of proper stimulus (2nd biggest cause of RE), something a guy cant admit to or that he considers shameful such as cross dressing/ not loving a partner when he has said he does etc, sexual abuse when younger, strict religious upbringing, dominant mother-son relationship, feelings of being trapped/exploited/abused. Each cause has more depth to it than what i just wrote obviously, but it is up to the guy to admit what is wrong and then the couple try overcome it or solve it.


Those that have trouble pulling back their foreskin to the point of where it is supposed to go back: Other guys are managing to stretch their foreskin a little to make it a little easier . This is a very careful and long process but the benefits make it worth it for most that have managed it with weights and other methods (not in the painful way). You can find a link to similar in the link above. Scroll down to almost half way and there's a link there. It might be something to think about. Do not take this as me recommending you do it though. As always talk to a doctor.

LegacyUser

Interesting face: I actually am a cross dresser. However, I do not think this has anything to do with my problem, because I don't have any guilt about it and totally accept it in myself... but perhaps subconsciously there is more to it?