humour overheard in dublin

swalsh

i don't know if this wsa posted already but just got it in an e-mail and thought ye would enjoy it.

Big Hitter

Playing on one of Dublin's less salubrious golf courses I teamed

up with a little auld Dub. After I hit an unusually long (and

flukey)drive the auld fella turned to me an said "Jaysus son, I wouldn't go

that far on me bleedin' holidays"

Overheard - Bodenstown Golf Club by Wardy Posted - Monday, 23rd May 2005



Ireland of the Welcomes!

In Roddy Boland's in Rathmines one night I overheard a group of

Italian guys (tourists) trying to chat up two Irish girls and not getting

very far.

One of the Italian's started waxing lyrical about one of the

Girls and her "beautiful pale skin" and said: "In my country, you would be

a Princess"

To which the Irish girl replied "And in my country, you'd work in

a chipper".

Overheard - Roddy Bolands by Kaz

Posted - Thursday, 21st April 2005



Irish Law is never Black and White

In one of the Dublin district courts during a hearing the injured Party

is being questioned by the defence barrister.

The barrister is really trying to put pressure on the defendent and questions

whether he can identify his client who alledgedly assaulted him.

The injured party is sitting in the witness box and without flinching points

across the room and says loudly… "yer man there, the black fella."

The defence barrister looses the rag and begins ranting about being

prejudicial to his clients skin colour and so forth.

The barrister continues along this line of attack and says indignantly

to the injured party who is still in the witness box....

"can you identify the man in this courtroom who you alledge assaulted you

without referring to his skin colour?"

The injured party looks up at the judge and then at the barrister shrugs and says... "yeah."

The barrister asks him to do so. The injured party points again across the court room and says...

"yer man sitting over there between the two white blokes."

Overheard - Dublin District Court by Anon Posted - Thursday, 21st April 2005



Mutant horses

My uncle was in town one day and there was a man and his son

walking infront of him.two gardas came along on their horses and

the dad says...

"take a good look at dat son coz theyre the only amimals you'll ever see

wit a b*ll*x underneath them and a b*ll*x on top of them"

Overheard - my uncle heard it on henry street by leah Posted - Tuesday, 26th April 2005



Hill 16 banter

Hill 16, Croke Park, Dublin playing Westmeath and Jason Sherlcok

becomes embroiled in a fight with the Westmeath corner back right

in front of the Hill. One wag shouts out....

"Go on Jason, hit him with your wok!"

Overheard - Hill 16 by Darren Halpin Posted - Wednesday, 27th April 2005



Busman's logic

My mate's mother was walking towards a bus stop on parnell

street. A bus pulled in just before she reached the stop she went

up to talk to the bus driver.....

Mate's mother: "What number bus is this?"

Bus driver: "Its a 40, it says so on the front"

Mate's mother: "Yeah, but it says 40a on the side and 40c on the

back?!"

Bus driver: "Well I'm not going sideways or backwards!!!"

Overheard - a bus stop on parnell street by Aine Posted - Friday, 29th April 2005



It's a miracle!

My brother arrives into Dublin airport and is dying for a pee. He

makes it to the Gents but there's a huge queue.He sees that the

disabled toilet is free so he decides to leg it in before he wets himself.

After relieving himself he's coming out the door when an auld lad still

waiting in the queue for the gents sarcastically declares...

"JAYSUS, it's a f**king miracle!'.

Good 'old style' Irish humour! My brother knew he was home!

qz

Very funny

WizZard

That'sa funny site alright. Here's another sample

Geography lesson!

I was on the 45 bus coming out from town. We were passing booterstown, along by the coast. Two girls (about 15 years old) were chatting behind me. One of them looked out the window across at Howth and said to the other, "I never realised that England was that near!". After a few minutes thought, the other said "Don't be stupid, that's not England. Its Holyhead, that is in Wales!".

Overheard - 45 bus by Niamh
Posted - Wednesday, 27th July 2005

28064212

www.overheardindublin.com

kittenkiller

My favourite so far

An Educated Police Force

There was an old Clerk in a court room who wrote a book upon his retirement, the proceeds of which went to the Credit union Movement.

However, one of the true stories in the book was that he was in the court one day and a defendant was chewing chewing Gum, undoubtedly the Judge was a little put out by this and in a Grand accent asked The court room Garda to "Tell the defendant to stop masticating" the Garda then proceeded to say to the defendant "For Gods Sake will you take your hands out of your pockets"

Overheard - Court by Pat
Posted - Friday, 29th July 2005

TerrorFirmer

kittenkiller wrote:

My favourite so far

An Educated Police Force

There was an old Clerk in a court room who wrote a book upon his retirement, the proceeds of which went to the Credit union Movement.

However, one of the true stories in the book was that he was in the court one day and a defendant was chewing chewing Gum, undoubtedly the Judge was a little put out by this and in a Grand accent asked The court room Garda to "Tell the defendant to stop masticating" the Garda then proceeded to say to the defendant "For Gods Sake will you take your hands out of your pockets"

Overheard - Court by Pat
Posted - Friday, 29th July 2005

lmao, that's one of those real cringers...