restrictions

poker_face

why can't i access the "sex and sexuality" forum?

Dinner

Its only for subscribers.

BlitzKrieg

you gotta be a subscriber...which your not...

Sparky

give boards some revenue, and you'll get in, but be warned its filthy.





jeez, sex sells, does'nt it

BlitzKrieg

why do you think they put this restriction on?


they didnt put it on the knitting forum...nor the christianity forum...cause who would pay for that?


but sex?


i'm surprised i dont have to pay for the slydice special gifts...

Sparky

a private forum without the slydice restrictions(you know them restrictions) for subscribers would be good, more revenue for boards as well

BlitzKrieg

give it a couple more years and boards will be spamming porn sites with those annoying dating pop ups.


"Wanna find true love with a connemara sheep? You might be in luck with Boardsie sexuality dating website...give us money and we might let you touch BlitzKrieg's anus..."

Catsmokinpot

so im to give my valuable coinage to boards and in return they will give me access to a forum that may or may not be ****e, their is no description or anything?

is their any other forums appart from sex and sexuality?

eg. do we get access to forums like "turning lead in to gold" forum? or superhero forum?

StupidLikeAFox

Catsmokinpot wrote:

so im to give my valuable coinage to boards and in return they will give me access to a forum that may or may not be ****e, their is no description or anything?

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=3101634&postcount=87

BlitzKrieg

there's a sticky at top about the forum and there is also info on whatelse you get as a subscriber...i would give money if i had any to spare but i dont...(Oh how i want those shiny stars...)

Catsmokinpot

€50 for a year! tis a bit steep for what i will get for my €50 me thinks thumbs down on this one i mean if its just sex and sexuality ive got a cheap right hand and an even cheaper girlfriend sorry babes

Catsmokinpot

cant see sticky if i cant get in to forum

Sarky

poker_face wrote:

why can't i access the "sex and sexuality" forum?

Because you touch yourself at night. [/Family Guy stock quote]


That 50 quid gives you a custom tagline, custom avatar, space for 3,000 private messages, and a warm fuzzy feeling inside. And access to a couple extra forums.

BlitzKrieg

But does it give you fantastic muscles?

Sparky

for all the non subsribers who cant get in:


Here's the charter of the forum, so those without access can have a better idea just what we're talking about here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talliesin

1. The purpose of this forum is the discussion of sex, sexuality and related topics.
2. Topics some may find offensive may be discussed here, there are over 500 other forums on boards.ie you can go to instead if you won't like it here. Reasonable links may not be worksafe, use your common-sense before following them. Complaints that there is content of a sexual nature on a sexuality discussion forum will not be entertained.
3. Not everyone in the world thinks the same way about these matters as you, labels like normal/abnormal, moral/immoral/amoral, ethical/unethical, kinky/vanilla, respectable/degenerate will always be disagreed on. How you would apply those labels and what they would imply to you is on-topic and thank you for sharing. Disrespecting those who would apply them differently is not.
4. Similarly, please avoid an overly didactic tone, especially if someone didn't actually ask for advice. This is a discussion forum, not a preaching forum.
5. Please keep within the general tone a thread started with:
   1. By default, threads should be assumed to be about safe, sane and consensual acts (which includes the decision to be celibate, to abstain before marriage, etc). If you want to discuss something outside of that please start a new thread.
   2. By default, what your god or gods think about the previous posters is off topic, please either take it to the forum for the appropriate religion, or else start a new thread on the matter. (Saying "I must not/must do X because of my religion" is okay, saying "No one should/Everyone should do X because of my religion" is not, unless the thread is explicitly about the morality of something).
6. If you ask a poster for more information on something they've said, and they choose not to reply, assume they don't want to answer that question, repeatedly asking such questions will be deemed an act of harassment and result in a ban.
7. Because of the subscriber-only nature of this forum it is not possible to allow for anonymous posting. If you PM a request to one of the moderators, we will treat it in confidence and may post it for you, before deleting the PM. (As mere common-sense should tell you, this confidentiality cannot extend to keeping quiet about matters that should be reported to the police).
8. Fun posts are welcome, but please stay serious on serious threads.
9. What goes where:
   1. Threads on sexual morality focusing on a particular belief system go in the appropriate religion's forum. Threads on sexual morality here are open to all viewpoints.
   2. Threads seeking advice on a given issue go to Personal Issues. The Personal Issues moderators work to steer replies towards those which are offering help, the moderators here will not, if you post about a problem here people can just discuss any aspect of the problem they find interesting and not offer any advice at all.
   3. Threads about sexual health matters are allowed and encouraged here. If you have a concern about your own sexual health you should go to a doctor or an STI clinic, not here. As per other threads seeking advice, threads about coping with a sexual health issue are allowed here, but Personal Issues is the place to go for actual advice.
   4. What celebrity you fancy, etc. is still an After Hours matter. It's not actually a discussion about sex or sexuality after all.
   5. Purely humours threads go to the Humour forum.
   6. Pointless links to pornographic or erotic material go nowhere. They get deleted and the poster gets banned (possibly site-banned).
10. It is not appropriate to out someone or otherwise say anything about their sexual lifestyle they have not mentioned themselves.

Sarky

BlitzKrieg wrote:

But does it give you fantastic muscles?

Oh yes. And so much more. I'd only been made a subscriber for no more than ten minutes before I was propositioned for a threesome with LATIN BEAT and Shabadu...

BlitzKrieg

Catsmokinpot wrote:

cant see sticky if i cant get in to forum

i meant this forum...after hours.

BlitzKrieg

Sarky wrote:

Oh yes. And so much more. I'd only been made a subscriber for no more than ten minutes before I was propositioned for a threesome with LATIN BEAT and Shabadu...

Oi!

i'm married to Shabadu thank you very much (admiitable Fuzzylogic married us...but he is a qualified...something.)

Sarky

Subscription puts you BEYOND God's laws!

Sparky

how did i miss the threesome, why do i always end up being left behind.





im off to that corner over there to cry, hopeing some beauty comes over to sympatise with me.

Sparky

Sarky wrote:

Subscription puts you BEYOND God's laws!

but your a Hmod, that puts you BEYOND, BEYOND gods laws

BlitzKrieg

Sarky wrote:

Subscription puts you BEYOND God's laws!

GOD has nothing to do with this...you have to deal with my law now...Oh i'm going to...arghhhh IM GOING TO!!!!!!!!







hsss at you!


continously!


hssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss etc...

Sparky

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

too many sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss, makes me mmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddd.



ah im ok now

Tar.Aldarion

and into gods bed!

BlitzKrieg

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

and into gods bed!

GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BED!

Sparky

who made YOU god, everybody knows Sparky is god, because im god of god of god.


SO HA

BlitzKrieg

Ha Ha!

If your God then why do you have a beginning?

Sparky

i dont its an infinate loop, quite like a wheel

BlitzKrieg

join date: Dec 2004....that looks like a beginning to me...tsk tsk tsk..you cannot be the alpha nor the omega with such mortal coils.

Sparky

but im also the spirit in jesus and he was born in december, i can follow you twice

Catsmokinpot

BlitzKrieg wrote:

i meant this forum...after hours.

oh sorry

Sparky

Catsmokinpot wrote:

oh sorry

god forgives sinners

BlitzKrieg

only if you read the second half of the book...the first half he sends locusts and hives after you and plays practical jokes on you (God: Gawan kill you son...i dare ya!)

Sparky

ill kill if im hungry.







and im hungry

BlitzKrieg

right we'll settle this.

you can be Good God

i'll be Bad God.

ok?

Tar.Aldarion

shush and get back into bed god.

Sparky

BlitzKrieg wrote:

right we'll settle this.

you can be Good God

i'll be Bad God.

ok?

So your SATIN, ill settle for that

you know this means that people believe were enemys but were actually long lost friends.

Sparky

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

shush and get back into bed god.

ohhh naughty, what ya got in supprise for me tonight

Tar.Aldarion

a new move god doesn't know about :eek:

BlitzKrieg

yyeah...we just havnt talked in a couple of mileania because of that lawnmower YOU Lost...HOW THE HELL AM I MEANT TO KEEP THE FIELDS OF LOST SOULS TIDY WITHOUT A LAWNMOWER???

Have you seen how tall Hitler has gotten...his penis gets caught in my mailbox...MY MAILBOX!

GIVE ME BACK MY LAWNMOWER!

Sarky

Sparky_S wrote:

So your SATIN, ill settle for that

Oh, he's at least silk, our Blitzy.

Sparky

i own the silk, and....wow that beard, seems to be doing something to me.........must stroke.

BlitzKrieg

fluffy beardy strokey droooooooooooool...

Tar.Aldarion

*refreshes*

Sparky

oh sarky, furry beard syndrome, oihhhhhhhhhhh

BlitzKrieg

i challange Sarky to immortal beard warfare...my satin strings against your silky bush...

Sparky

ill be the judge of that, so let the war begin. yarrr

BlitzKrieg

shhhhhhh no yarring!


right then...beard warfare...sparky choose the battlefield...excuse me while i perform beard pull ups...

Sparky

the bedroom, now the RESTRICTIONS are that your not to run out of the room naked, youll frighten those boys in the hall

BlitzKrieg

ok...now what sort of beard wrestling moves are we allowed...can we pubic hair tangle? stubble burn? whisker lash?

Sparky

all maters of tatics are allowed, but not for long periods of time.