Summer 2005

shiv

Propped up on the magazine shelf
Looking down on you
Like I always do

A lovely two-page spread
Polished and unread
Inside
Open before you

Except you do not pick me up
Peruse
My fine lines
Cracked binding

And I am left
Closed
Stuck together
Perfectly untouchable
Smiling

Le Rack

i dont quite get it but it has a nice feel and sound to it

Earthhorse

Very neat. I'm puzzled as to why there's no punctuation though? It might help us to know when to pause and when to carry on.

the raven

too many "you"s. forget about the punctuation, tis better without.

it's an alright poem.

shiv

thanks guys for your feedback, greatly appreciated!

le rack, it was just a simple exploration of what it would feel like to be a magazine and adding a relationship angle to it, prompted by having something published and seeing it in-store. weird, I know!

earthhorse, I felt writing it that it might need punctuation, but I was at a loss of where to put commas, periods, etc. It's not my strong point.
Part of me feels that not putting anything is easier, and more free-flowing..but then I understand it can let people know where to pause or where you want to make a point.

raven, thanks for the compliment--high praise indeed given your strict standards!!

Earthhorse

Cool.

If it's any consolation, Percy Bysshe Shelley apparently had the same problem, with much of the punctuation being added to his poetry upon publication and often by others (editors and so forth).

If you find use of commas and fullstops too dictatorial you might consider using dashes, a la Emily Dickinson, or brackets, a la ee cummings. They might give you the pauses you are looking for without interrupting the flow of the poem.

shiv

Hey Earthhorse,
thanks for the tips and info, I might give the dashes or brackets a go and ease myself into the punctuation arena.
Used to do the whole slash thing years ago, but/found/it/was/just/too/choppy
Thanks again