Returned Engagement Ring

gom

Recently a very important relationship in my life came to an abrupt ending. I'm now wondering where to sell the engagement ring that has been returned to me.
Where is the best place to sell it? Doesn't need to be a quick sale but I don't want to be ripped off either.

I'm based in Dublin and know of several methods to sell a used(3 months wear) engagement ring:
1.The Happy Ring House on O'Connell Street (Any one know what sort of price they give?)
2.eBay - never sold anything on eBay before bu the prices are radiculisly cheap and I would not even be getting half the cost of the ring back

Any one have experience in the matter?

Talliesin

There's a lot of personal issues here. What shop would give you the best price isn't one of them.

You never get a good price on diamonds if you aren't a jeweller yourself anyway, they're overpriced crap as gems go.

ionapaul

You won't get much money back - TBH you probably should keep the gem itself and find another use for it, put it on a necklace for your mother or something.

maeve49

A friend of mine was in a similiar situation and we went to a few places, can't exactly remember the names of the places, but to be honest nobody was offering anything much for it, he was then on holidays in Turkey and was talking to some people out there who said the best thing would be to bring the ring with him next time and they would make a new piece of jewellery for him, which he did and was pretty happy because it really was an insult the prices the jewellers were offering in Dublin, so if you are going abroad it might be an idea, cause I know that they were offering him a much better price abroad as well.

gom

Now that you mention it Maeve I do a far bit of travelling and might actually be making my way through Antwerp(Diamond capital of europe) later in the summer. Maybe I'll look around and wait till I head over.

NickyOD

Sell the ring and be done with it. I have been in your shoes and held on to the ring for over a year before selling. Wish I'd done it sooner.

Basically you won't get much interest from Jewellers. Forget about eBay you will not get a fair price. The antique shops are the way to go. Many of them also sell a lot of jewellery particularly diamond rings. I was able to sell mine through an antique shop that found an interested jeweller who bought mine for 40% of what I paid for it which is as good as you will get considering you pay 28% tax and the markup is over 100% on a new ring. I really don't know why the jewellers turn their nose up at people who want to sell back their rings, since they buy second hand stuff from anttique shops anyway. I guess they don't want to disclose their markup even though its pretty obvious jewellery is grossly overpriced in this country. If the diamond is larger than 1ct then you should be able to find a buyer. Whatever you do, do not break it up or make a necklace out of it.

Talliesin

maeve49 wrote:

it really was an insult the prices the jewellers were offering

NickyOD wrote:

I really don't know why the jewellers turn their nose up at people who want to sell back their rings, since they buy second hand stuff from anttique shops anyway.

Don't buy diamonds.

nesf

There was a similar situation many years ago in my extended family (except the guy's fiancee died in an accident rather than left him).

It was a beautiful ring and the guy didn't want to return it. So he gave it to his mother. Kind of like a "new heirloom" thing if that makes sense.

Nicely symbolic of "not everything is meant to be".

Maybe not quite matching your story, but I thought it was a nice idea.

ionapaul

Gom, don't suppose you maybe interested in one of those David Beckham / Rap star type diamond earrings? Is so, this is your chance

Unfortunately, I was also in your shoes in this regard, but as there is no chance of getting a fair price for the ludicrous amount I spent, I am not going to sell the hunk of rock. I honestly would rather throw the band away and imbed the stone in one of my teeth rather than accept three or four grand for it. Might have a different view if I was in debt or strapped for cash. And who knows, if I find a nice girl again, might even re-use the stone (but not the band) - don't know if this would be acceptable or not.

Dellgirl

Don't buy diamonds.

What else for an engagement ring other than diamonds? Ive never seen anything else on a ring for an engagement.

nesf

Blingarella wrote:

What else for an engagement ring other than diamonds? Ive never seen anything else on a ring for an engagement.

A plain and well crafted white gold twisted band with the his favourite poetry quotes inscribed along one side, and her's on the other.

Dellgirl

A plain and well crafted white gold twisted band with the his favourite poetry quotes inscribed along one side, and her's on the other.

Oooooohhh...romantic. *sigh*

WhiteWashMan

nesf wrote:

A plain and well crafted white gold twisted band with the his favourite poetry quotes inscribed along one side, and her's on the other.

eeeewwwwwwwww barf

nesf

WhiteWashMan wrote:

eeeewwwwwwwww barf

You'd take a more "Homer" approach would you?

"Can I take it off? The oil is burning my finger..."

NickyOD

ionapaul wrote:

Gom, don't suppose you maybe interested in one of those David Beckham / Rap star type diamond earrings? Is so, this is your chance

Unfortunately, I was also in your shoes in this regard, but as there is no chance of getting a fair price for the ludicrous amount I spent, I am not going to sell the hunk of rock. I honestly would rather throw the band away and imbed the stone in one of my teeth rather than accept three or four grand for it. Might have a different view if I was in debt or strapped for cash. And who knows, if I find a nice girl again, might even re-use the stone (but not the band) - don't know if this would be acceptable or not.

Well I wouldn't marry you but 'm sure there are very few girls who would be happy with a second hand diamond. Depending on how much you paid for it, and the type ofring it is. You can defintely get back some of your financial losses if you look around. I felt great after selling mine. I bought it for €4400 ( :rolleyes: ) and managed to get back €1600 for it.

Talliesin

Blingarella wrote:

What else for an engagement ring other than diamonds? Ive never seen anything else on a ring for an engagement.

Of course not, because De Beers marketing strategy since the 1930s has made sure that you don't (diamonds are found on engagement rings quite frequently as far back as the Victorian age, but it's only with the 1930s they became really popular amongst the rich and after WWII that the became common amongst the general population). That's how they manage to make so much money out of diamonds and why they are so overpriced, while rubies can often be cheaper to purchase as a consumer, despite their being rarer, having a higher wholesale and resell value, and lets face it in most cases being a nicer gem. At the end of the day "A diamond is forever" serves the same purpose as "tasty and tempting food at supermacs", and is about as honest.

Just be glad you aren't one of the poor suckers who actually bought a whole load of them as an investment, they really get screwed (not to dismiss the emotional hurt when selling an engagement ring, but really the hurt isn't about the ring, and discovering that the investment you expected to retire on or get your kids through college with can't be redeemed has an emotional impact as well).

Dellgirl

Of course not, because De Beers marketing strategy since the 1930s has made sure that you don't (diamonds are found on engagement rings quite frequently as far back as the Victorian age, but it's only with the 1930s they became really popular amongst the rich and after WWII that the became common amongst the general population). That's how they manage to make so much money out of diamonds and why they are so overpriced, while rubies can often be cheaper to purchase as a consumer, despite their being rarer, having a higher wholesale and resell value, and lets face it in most cases being a nicer gem. At the end of the day "A diamond is forever" serves the same purpose as "tasty and tempting food at supermacs", and is about as honest

Let me get this straight. Have I been duped by marketing into thinking that diamonds are actually valuble when they are not and I am paying completly over the top odds when I buy one? (Not that I go around buying diamonds everyday!) What about when the jeweller tells you to insure it for its value? Is it not worth this value?

Talliesin

Blingarella wrote:

Let me get this straight. Have I been duped by marketing into thinking that diamonds are actually valuble when they are not and I am paying completly over the top odds when I buy one?

Pretty much. They're still perfect if you're into bling, because bling is about expenditure anyway (indeed, the less taste displayed the better), but yes as far as gems go you are being had.

Blingarella wrote:

What about when the jeweller tells you to insure it for its value? Is it not worth this value?

Well, what do you want to do if it is stolen or damaged? If you want to replace it then it will still cost you that much to do so.

Really, if you like diamonds (and I'm not going to knock diamonds with nice clarity and colour, though they are still overpriced) then sure, go for it. But you can't expect to be able to get that money back, and you should never buy them as an investment.

Dellgirl

Pretty much. They're still perfect if you're into bling, because bling is about expenditure anyway (indeed, the less taste displayed the better), but yes as far as gems go you are being had

Dupedarella! Thinking of switching alligence to rubies.

StandnDeliver

buy and sell i suppose or ebay

Son_of_Belial

Hmm... I'd just stick it in a bank deposit box for a rainy day... Also you could have the gem used to make a new ring (so it doesn't look the same and remind you of your lost one). Hang onto it til you're in a position to get hitched again

Capt'n Midnight

NickyOD wrote:

but 'm sure there are very few girls who would be happy with a second hand diamond.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Beers

Using its monopoly, De Beers has created an artificial scarcity of diamonds, thus keeping prices high. The modern tradition of diamonds as a part of engagement in many cultures has been largely created by De Beers through an amazingly effective advertising campaign started in 1939. The "A Diamond is Forever" campaign not only convinced the public that the only suitable gift for engagement is a diamond, but also served to limit the market in used diamonds

There are a few other companies who trade in diamonds but it's a cartel, if any of the main buyers buy from an independant diamond seller the cartel won't do business with that buyer again.

Also
http://writingprogram.hfa.umass.edu/student_resources/course_texts/anthology/2003/ripston.html
Or google for "blood diamonds" - people dying so a company can keep a monopoly , that's a Personal Issue to me.

daymobrew

Son_of_Belial wrote:

Also you could have the gem used to make a new ring (so it doesn't look the same and remind you of your lost one). Hang onto it til you're in a position to get hitched again

I'd go with this. I bought my wife's diamond separate from the ring (from wholesaler jeweller in San Francisco when we lived there) and got it fitted to a band that she choose. Worked out good value.

The jewellers there kept saying that they'd part exchange a diamond for a larger one (an upgrade) without the original one losing much value, because they are so hard. Knowing that makes the poor prices being offered by Irish jewellers so surprising.

Talliesin

daymobrew wrote:

The jewellers there kept saying that they'd part exchange a diamond for a larger one (an upgrade) without the original one losing much value, because they are so hard. Knowing that makes the poor prices being offered by Irish jewellers so surprising.

No, you'll get a better deal part exchanging because you're replacing one overpriced item with a more overpriced item, so it still makes sense for the jeweller to do that. Buying it from you is a different matter.

*Page*

Why not keep the ring?

tabatha

maeve49 wrote:

A friend of mine was in a similiar situation and we went to a few places, can't exactly remember the names of the places, but to be honest nobody was offering anything much for it, he was then on holidays in Turkey and was talking to some people out there who said the best thing would be to bring the ring with him next time and they would make a new piece of jewellery for him, which he did and was pretty happy because it really was an insult the prices the jewellers were offering in Dublin, so if you are going abroad it might be an idea, cause I know that they were offering him a much better price abroad as well.

have heard of this and be careful, apparently they can swap the stones and replace them with a crapper version. never let diamonds out of your sight.

tabatha

nesf wrote:

A plain and well crafted white gold twisted band with the his favourite poetry quotes inscribed along one side, and her's on the other.

if a guy gave me this i would hope he wouldnt be looking for a "yes"!

pickarooney

As Diamonds are Forever and love is unforunately not, would it not make sense to sell it to someone planning to propose who wants a fair deal? Even if the ring has been inscribed, the stone is surely sellable.

pickarooney

tabatha wrote:

if a guy gave me this i would hope he wouldnt be looking for a "yes"!

Well it would probably be for the best that you turn him down, with such obviously differing views on material values

tabatha

pickarooney wrote:

Well it would probably be for the best that you turn him down, with such obviously differing views on material values

its not that, most girls would expect a diamond for an engagement ring. its traditional. there would be plenty more years to share romantic gestures such as those but for an engagement there is protocol.

Nevyn

Protocal, like asking her father for permission ?
ok big romantic gestures have thier place but with a cost of 4 grand ?!!!!!!!!!
that is nearly a year mortgauge. Mad.

ionapaul

The band itself is worth little compared to the price paid for the gemstone(s). This is why I think, if you ever see the need / use of the gem in the future, it is worth keeping the damn thing! If you buy in the future you are just going to get screwed again because of the inflated price*

*prob best to keep such common-sense thoughts unspoken though - not too romantic! Even the most level-headed and financially responsible person is liable to appreciate wild, foolish spending in the name of love!

tabatha

yes, i think asking a dads premission is nice. my dad would have expected that! there are some things in life you only do once (with a bit of luck) and when you do them you should do them right!

pickarooney

tabatha wrote:

its not that, most girls would expect a diamond for an engagement ring. its traditional. there would be plenty more years to share romantic gestures such as those but for an engagement there is protocol.

Protocol is for international dignitaries, marriage is for a couple in love. Well, that would be my take on it, but there's no sense in arguing

I do like the fact that 'tradition' is so important for things that cost several thousand though

tabatha

who said it cost several thousand pounds? doesnt have to be. its like buying a house, its expensive but an investment!

Talliesin

pickarooney wrote:

As Diamonds are Forever

No they aren't. They're hard to damage, but not impossible by any means.

tabatha wrote:

its traditional

Only in the same sense as the tradition of the "Diet Coke break".

I like the poetry ring idea (wouldn't put my favourite quotes on it, my taste in poetry wouldn't make that at all appropriate).

tabatha wrote:

its like buying a house, its expensive but an investment

Houses have inherent value and can be resold, so they really are an investment, diamonds are cheap gems with the supply controlled by a cartel, so they aren't.

nesf

tabatha wrote:

its not that, most girls would expect a diamond for an engagement ring. its traditional. there would be plenty more years to share romantic gestures such as those but for an engagement there is protocol.

Well, ok, and this is just my take on it...


If a guy is proposing to a woman then he should really know her views on this already...

Everyone's different. Some women want the guy going down on one knee in public, some really don't care for such gestures, and there's a few who hate the tradition so much that they plan on doing the proposing.

It's not really something to generalise your own opinions out from.


Plus, what's so wrong with an attempt at making a unique and special gesture rather than doing what everyone else does?

Although I do agree that her parents should be asked. It's common courtesty. It's just I'd leave that until after she had said yes to be honest.

tabatha

all i can say to all you guys is are u still single? if not then u are very lucky to have found a lady would is willing to accept "the cheaper alternative". unfortunatly diamonds can be expensive, u do have to set yourself a limit. an engagement ring is a token of love. wait until the day that u have someone in your life to propose to and see what happens. how about a barn brack ring?

Talliesin

nesf wrote:

Although I do agree that her parents should be asked.

I'd say no then, no daughter of mine is marrying someone who puts out-moded and sexist traditions ahead of doing what they want to do as a couple.

pickarooney

Talliesin wrote:

I'd say no then, no daughter of mine is marrying someone who puts out-moded and sexist traditions ahead of doing what they want to do as a couple.

You don't work for SD6, do you?*

all i can say to all you guys is are u still single? if not then u are very lucky to have found a lady would is willing to accept "the cheaper alternative".

Not every woman sees everything purely in terms of monetary value, and frankly I'd not be very interested in one who was. Besides, I don't think anybody mentioned "the cheaper alternative", simply less clichéd alternatives.





*If anyone watches the series Alias, this was pretty much the father's reaction in the same situation.

tabatha

and not every man wants to buy a diamond engagement ring for the girlfriends. why are there so many "tight" men out there? all u have to do is mention the word diamond and they jump on the defensive.

Talliesin

pickarooney wrote:

Not every woman sees everything purely in terms of monetary value

And those that do should know better than to spend a fortune on cheap gems. Get a bloody ruby, they're actually really worth something, and are actually traditionally (i.e. since before De Beers hired a marketing firm) associated with romance and valuing someone or something above your material possessions (hence the saying "worth more than rubies").

pickarooney wrote:

*If anyone watches the series Alias, this was pretty much the father's reaction in the same situation.

Ah, I don't watch tv, but wise move. And really after that if he doesn't have the cop on to disobey that refusal, then we can add stupidity to the list of faults.

pickarooney

I blame the feminists for opening their eyes

Ah, I don't watch tv, but wise move. And really after that if he doesn't have the cop on to disobey that refusal, then we can add stupidity to the list of faults.

Well, he did disobey, but

it cost him his life

, but that's enough about telly.

nesf

tabatha wrote:

all i can say to all you guys is are u still single? if not then u are very lucky to have found a lady would is willing to accept "the cheaper alternative". unfortunatly diamonds can be expensive, u do have to set yourself a limit. an engagement ring is a token of love. wait until the day that u have someone in your life to propose to and see what happens. how about a barn brack ring?

1) How is materialism in a woman a good thing?

2) What has money got to do with it? Diamond rings are not the only kind of expensive ring.

3) You're assuming that we all want to marry.

4) It's just a traditional symbol. Most couples, my age, that got engaged, didn't pick up the ring until after they had agreed to get married. The women all wanted to help choose it...

5) If your love for another can't exist without some kind of expensive physical reinforcement token of it, then you really shouldn't be calling it love imo.

6) You are assuming that the reason why I personally wouldn't use a diamond ring is because of it's price. Not because I might not feel like conforming for the sake of it.

Talliesin

pickarooney wrote:

I blame the feminists for opening their eyes

Sadly the whole "tradition" of the diamond engagement ring is more recent than first wave feminism, so that it started at all is more a sign of a failure on their part than a success.

Indeed, the tradition only really kicked off with the post-war backlash against women having a greater degree of independence.

nesf

Talliesin wrote:

I'd say no then, no daughter of mine is marrying someone who puts out-moded and sexist traditions ahead of doing what they want to do as a couple.

But your answer wouldn't bother me. If myself and your daughter were planning on getting married, I wouldn't grant you a right to veto that.


It's just polite to ask the question. The other side is it's polite for the parent to go along with their daughter's wishes.

If that makes sense.

LegacyUser

Here's an article I read some time back that I was reminded of when I read you original post gom. It may be of some help.

The Irish Times Tues 24 May '05 wrote:

Broken engagements are surprisingly common. But after the trauma of a break-up, what happens to the ring? No longer is it always returned to the man, reports Berna Cox.

Every year, thousands of couples engage in the business of engagement. The question is popped, the ring flashed and the wedding machine cranks up into overdrive. Whether it's to be the traditional "bit of a do" in the local hotel or a beach party bash in Barbados with the bridal march played on a steel drum, the engagement sets the wheels in motion. At the end of the process, two little words seal the union. The "I will" at the time of engagement progresses finally to "I do".

But for some, the "I do" never happens. Somewhere along the way, doubts creep in, much agonising is done and one or other party calls a halt.

Hearts are broken, dresses are returned, churches, registry offices and hotels are cancelled. Some break-ups are acrimonious; others are amicable and bittersweet. Some engender genuine sadness and heartache; others cause a large sigh of relief all round.

Whatever the circumstances of the break-up, one particular item remains to be dealt with. The engagement ring. Who owns it? Who wants it? What happens next? Traditionally, engagement rings were given by the man to the woman in contemplation and expectation of marriage and, if things didn't work out, they were returned. Nowadays, it's not that clear cut.

Legal opinion suggests that the old-fashioned breach of promise laws are just that - old-fashioned. The dynamics of courtship and engagement are so different in modern times that any court would be hard-pressed to pronounce according to the letter of the law.

Modern relationships introduce factors that the old law didn't legislate for. Some couples, for instance, jointly purchase the ring. How do they decide who keeps it? In certain American states, if the man breaks off the engagement, the woman keeps the ring. What happens here?

John Weldon is an auctioneer of silver and fine art on Cow's Lane, Temple Bar in Dublin and one of two main auctioneers in the country who deals with second-hand jewellery. In any week, says Weldon, between 10 and 15 women will come through his doors inquiring about selling engagement rings at his monthly auctions. Freshly disengaged couples, he reckons, seem to work it out between them as to who keeps the ring, and his experience would indicate that it's mostly the woman. Some of them, he says, are very open and businesslike about the transaction. Others, though, get quite upset. There's always a box of tissues strategically placed, says Weldon.

Some women are accompanied by their mothers who drive the transaction and chivvy their daughter into placing the ring for auction. All of them, he says, are looking for closure.

"The money," says Weldon, "really doesn't seem to be the issue." Jewellery sold at auction will almost never realise the retail price, but that doesn't seem to matter.

"They really just want closure," he says. "There's a finality attached to selling the ring. They can move on." Weldon himself is empathetic - his own engagement fell through last year but, in more traditional style, the ring was returned to him.

"It used to be a rarity," he adds, "to have men coming in with engagement rings."

Now, he says, that's starting to change. The most recent item to be added to the catalogue for his auction today is a .73 carat diamond set in platinum with two smaller baguette diamonds flanking the solitaire. The total carat weight is .93. A man brought it in complete with its original box and insurance details with instructions to put it in the next auction. Weldon estimates that the ring cost in the region of 5,000 in the jeweller's shop and will fetch somewhere between 2,000 and 3,000 at auction.

Closure, it seems, can cost. On the other hand, someone else's closure can represent good value for those contemplating a bit of romantic question-popping.

Weldon's auction today will have about 50 engagement rings in the catalogue, ranging in value from €100 to 25,000. Those rings represent just one month of callers to the auction house. Occasionally, the vendor will attend the auction to watch what might have been go under the hammer. Most opt not to.

Their closure comes with a cheque in the post.

* The jewellery, silver and fine art auction is at 2pm today (viewing 10.30am to 1pm) at John Weldon Auctioneers, Cow's Lane, Temple Bar, Dublin 8. For details tel 01 6351114 or see www.johnweldonauctioneers.com

Talliesin

nesf wrote:

But your answer wouldn't bother me. If myself and your daughter were planning on getting married, I wouldn't grant you a right to veto that..

Okay, anyone who asks now is getting a couple of feet of Toledo steel through their ribcage, since my eldest is five.

Still, were it to happen at a more appropriate age, then as long as he had the sense to disobey me I wouldn't be too worried.

tabatha

nesf wrote:

1) How is materialism in a woman a good thing?

2) What has money got to do with it? Diamond rings are not the only kind of expensive ring.

3) You're assuming that we all want to marry.

4) It's just a traditional symbol. Most couples, my age, that got engaged, didn't pick up the ring until after they had agreed to get married. The women all wanted to help choose it...

5) If your love for another can't exist without some kind of expensive physical reinforcement token of it, then you really shouldn't be calling it love imo.

6) You are assuming that the reason why I personally wouldn't use a diamond ring is because of it's price. Not because I might not feel like conforming for the sake of it.

1. i never said materialism was a good thing.

2. i never said money was anything to do with it, if u read my posts u will see i said that diamonds are not necessarly expensive.

3. never said u wanted to marry

4. why do u think the women wanted to choose it, well judging by some mens reaction on here i can see why.

5. (this is my personal favourite, still has me laughing) u go with that and when or if you decide to get married use and that line and see where it gets u lol

6. if u want to be different go ahead, make sure u find a different girl first though. also, i never took a personal attack with u nesf, so i never assumed anything about u and diamonds!

Talliesin

The dynamics of courtship and engagement are so different in modern times that any court would be hard-pressed to pronounce according to the letter of the law.

That letter of the law is interesting though; under English law one cannot ask for a gift back, with engagement rings being the sole exception. Not relevant to anything now (including how a court would rule as the article says) but still, interesting.

pickarooney

tabatha wrote:

1. i never said materialism was a good thing.

But a tradition in which you're guaranteed material gain is

2. i never said money was anything to do with it, if u read my posts u will see i said that diamonds are not necessarly expensive.

But you claimed that men who weren't interested in buying diamonds were tight, which kind of suggests that they are.

5. (this is my personal favourite, still has me laughing) u go with that and when or if you decide to get married use and that line and see where it gets u lol

6. if u want to be different go ahead, make sure u find a different girl first though. also, i never took a personal attack with u nesf, so i never assumed
anything about u and diamonds!

You never assumed anything about him and diamonds, but tell him he should get a different girl as (point 5) his current girlfriend would refuse to marry him without a diamond?
Perhaps you two know each other, but otherwise I don't understand how you can mean both of those things at once.

Anyhow, have we been any help to the OP at all?