girls are overconfident

lateasever

most scare the crap outta me these days to be honest. its all im independent and dont need a guy unless its some metrosexual fashion accessory so they can say they have a boyfriend.

*Page*

I've been called INTIMIDATING



i love my partner and i'm not with him for how he looks.. but i'm told i scare boys and men by the way i dress and my attitude

IANOC

*Page* wrote:

I've been called INTIMIDATING

MMMMMMMMMM

IANOC

lateasever wrote:

most scare the crap outta me these days to be honest. its all im independent and dont need a guy unless its some metrosexual fashion accessory so they can say they have a boyfriend.

blame the spice girls :rolleyes:

Nuttzz

I laugh at girls who go mad on the dancefloor to destiny's child's "independent woman" and then expect you to buy them a drink

OP tar, brush, all, come to mind tbh.

lateasever

yeah big time

lateasever

unless your mister self fu*king assured the only way to get anywhere is to get absofu*kinglutely tankered and then rip it up on some dance floor where ya get meaningless scorage off some scum of the earth scobie

Kernel

lateasever wrote:

most scare the crap outta me these days to be honest. its all im independent and dont need a guy unless its some metrosexual fashion accessory so they can say they have a boyfriend.

Women hide the fact that they are looking for a partner better than some men, but I've started to notice a new trend with lads not being too bothered with women, even seeing relationships as a pain in the arse, so the tides of the war of the sexes is changing - almost reversing. So, I think women are more after boyfriends these days, than we men are looking for girlfriends. The lie of the perfect relationship viewed on TV and in the movies is starting to crack, and men are starting to realise it.

lateasever

which i dominated bytheway

lateasever

the dancefloor not the scobie

commuterised

*Page* wrote:

I've been called INTIMIDATING



i love my partner and i'm not with him for how he looks.. but i'm told i scare boys and men by the way i dress and my attitude

How do you dress Page?

Karl Hungus

Girls overconfident? Hell, I'd nearly say a lot of them are quite the opposite. The amount of incredibly hostile and bitchy young women these days is quite unreal, but they're only showing up their own insecurities when they try to supplant "Confidence" with acting the cow.

simu

KH is right. Confidence != Bitchiness.

Dr. Loon

Karl Hungus wrote:

Girls overconfident? Hell, I'd nearly say a lot of them are quite the opposite. The amount of incredibly hostile and bitchy young women these days is quite unreal, but they're only showing up their own insecurities when they try to supplant "Confidence" with acting the cow.

If rep still existed I'd have given you some green for this fantastically accurate post.

dudara

Karl Hungus wrote:

Girls overconfident? Hell, I'd nearly say a lot of them are quite the opposite. The amount of incredibly hostile and bitchy young women these days is quite unreal, but they're only showing up their own insecurities when they try to supplant "Confidence" with acting the cow.

Well said, indeed. There's no excuse for being a cow. Confidence is a different thing to hostility, but it seems some women need to learn this

Killaqueen!!!

Yup, you're right there. Especially in Dublin and England (just take a look at Big Brother women). Women can be outright snob bitches, I'm well ashamed to be one!! :P

nesf

I get this from time to time.

"But you're so confident around women!"

"No. The vast majority don't even interest me slightly."

"Oh."


I don't get people confusing confidence with a lack of interest. Is being underconfident a definite sign of being interested or something?


Some people just need to grow a backbone imo.

Eve e

nesf wrote:

I get this from time to time.

"But you're so confident around women!"

"No. The vast majority don't even interest me slightly."

"Oh."


I don't get people confusing confidence with a lack of interest. Is being underconfident a definite sign of being interested or something?

No, if you are a confident enough most of the time and find some women to be like human wallpaper, you don’t act any different around them (thus giving you an air of confidence)
But sometimes if a guy is trying too hard to impress a girl, he (understandably) gives off a kind of desperate/unconfident vibe, which is like kryptonite to a woman.

I agree with the earlier posters overconfidence in girls is usually a front for their insecurities/neurosis.

LadyJ

I dunno ladies! It's a bit of a catch 22 tbh.
I'm a fairly confident person(well,moreso when drinking's involved! ) and I don't have trouble getting men. However,I find that confidence can be perceived as easiness sometimes which can lead to problems if you don't want to get laid on the first date! :rolleyes:
So I tested out the "shy" act a few times in clubs etc. and noticed two things:
Either (a)men found me too shy(one even told me so)
or
(b)they thought I was being snobby and up my own arse and that they
didn't stand a chance.

So it would seem that confidence is somewhat of a necessity these days but can also be a curse!
What's a gal to do?!

nesf

LadyJ wrote:

So I tested out the "shy" act a few times in clubs etc. and noticed two things:
Either (a)men found me too shy(one even told me so)
or
(b)they thought I was being snobby and up my own arse and that they
didn't stand a chance.

See the thing is, I've always found I could tell if a girl was actually shy or just pretending to be. The body language is very different between the two. And the way they speak too.

Plus the whole concept of shyness is a bit off, generally speaking, shy people just have more barriers up to break down. Same as everyone else. It's just most people hide said barriers with a wall of small talk. Shy people either never learned how to do this or never felt the need.

Eve e wrote:

No, if you are a confident enough most of the time and find some women to be like human wallpaper, you don’t act any different around them (thus giving you an air of confidence)

See. I find most people to be like human wallpaper. I don't like groups or group conversation. Few people can be genuinely interesting when there's a group talking. The louder (note: not necessarily confident) ones tend to dominate the conversation. Loud people usually have the least to say imo (though there are exceptions to this).

Your average woman just doesn't interest me. They never have, and they never will. It's not a looks thing. I'm not picky about looks at all, I just have to be attracted to them at least a little bit physically. So I don't get tounge tied around very good looking women. I might flirt a little with them, but I'm generally not interested. It's not confidence, it's more just not caring.

Plus, pulling is the easy part. It's finding an interesting woman that is the challenge imo. Then most of the time you'll stay friends with them because with most people, dallying with them might threaten your friendship. If that makes sense.

weemcd

alot of women are up their own arse, i know alot who think they are better looking than they really are.

eth0_

why's this in fashion/appearance? *boggle*

nesf

Actually, I feel like rambling and this topic has caught my interest...

Some random thoughts:

1) Most people seem to confuse confidence with either bitchiness, egoism or the facades that some women throw up. Usually, the above are signs of insecurity and issues rather than confidence.

2) Confidence is an internal thing. It's something that is conveyed in body language, actions and language. There is this concept of "manufactured" confidence these days, where there is this "self-help" ideal of what confidence is. Confidence is not something you can learn in a book or magazine. Confidence is a natural product that arrises from being happy with one's self. Not full of yourself, but happy.

3) Over-confidence is false confidence. It's confidence where there is no reason to be confident. This could apply to anything. Socially it's a killer. I hate the person who flutters around like a social butterfly but who lacks any kind of redeeming social skills. You know, the ones who are in your face demanding attention but who can't do conversation. They annoy me.


Most women (that I know personally, not ones on TV or whatever) don't seem to suffer from over confidence. Most of the time they seem to be lacking confidence in some part of their lives/aspect of themselves. Maybe they might appear confident or over-confident to a casual observer, but do they appear confident to anyone with the slightest bit of awareness or cop-on? No they don't.


Then we have the whole, being alone thing. The not needing a partner thing. Is this confidence? No it's just a sign that a person doesn't validate themselves through having a partner. That's definitely a step in the right direction but it doesn't equate confidence.

Men seem to suffer from this biological obsession with sex and having it. It seems to dominate their thinking and there is this whole bull**** lad's culture built up around it. I'm sorry, but where does it say that I, as a guy, need to be "on the pull" when I go out socially? Where does this bull**** notion of "a guy needs to pull when he's out or there's something wrong with him" come from?

Women love confidence? Hmm. Yeah, I think they do. Do men? I'm not so sure. Half the men I know want to be the dominant half of the relationship. The other half want to be dominated. I know men that find quiet, shy women very attractive and interesting. I know men that find them annoying and intimidating.

Then again, depends on the woman. Women are odd, they don't have a homogeneous image of what constitutes attractive. I've always had a lot of close female friends and I've always been amused by how they could never agree on each other's boyfriends. What was very attractive to one wouldn't do a thing for another.

Men on the otherhand seem to have accepted this "media image" of what they should find attractive and stick with it (obviously this is not all men, just the majority). Personally, I don't subscribe to this. My taste is very odd in most guy's eyes. But I've never felt the need to gain my friends approval of a gf, I just need my own.

Edit: I suppose I should end with a conclusion or something.

The percieved over-confidence in women, in my opinion, springs from cultural urgings and delusions. There is some kind of social swing too far past confidence atm. Women (and men) fall victim to being told they need to be stupidly confident and they try and act like that without actually having self confidence. It's more of a delusion than an actual behaviour imo.

Although, to be fair, men could be accused of the same.

Karl Hungus

nesf wrote:

Some random thoughts:

1) Most people seem to confuse confidence with either bitchiness, egoism or the facades that some women throw up. Usually, the above are signs of insecurity and issues rather than confidence.

2) Confidence is an internal thing. It's something that is conveyed in body language, actions and language. There is this concept of "manufactured" confidence these days, where there is this "self-help" ideal of what confidence is. Confidence is not something you can learn in a book or magazine. Confidence is a natural product that arrises from being happy with one's self. Not full of yourself, but happy.

3) Over-confidence is false confidence. It's confidence where there is no reason to be confident. This could apply to anything. Socially it's a killer. I hate the person who flutters around like a social butterfly but who lacks any kind of redeeming social skills. You know, the ones who are in your face demanding attention but who can't do conversation. They annoy me.

Thanks for taking my point and jazzing it up with numbers and paragraphs. Go get your own thoughts, and stop stealing mine.

nesf

Karl Hungus wrote:

Thanks for taking my point and jazzing it up with numbers and paragraphs. Go get your own thoughts, and stop stealing mine.

Stealing yours? Why would I do that?

Wasn't intended mate, was just writing off the top of my head tbh. I should have paid more attention, apologies.


Actually, went back there and had a look for myself in detail:

Karl Hungus wrote:

Girls overconfident? Hell, I'd nearly say a lot of them are quite the opposite. The amount of incredibly hostile and bitchy young women these days is quite unreal, but they're only showing up their own insecurities when they try to supplant "Confidence" with acting the cow.

How is the above equivilant to what I said?

nesf wrote:

1) Most people seem to confuse confidence with either bitchiness, egoism or the facades that some women throw up. Usually, the above are signs of insecurity and issues rather than confidence.

2) Confidence is an internal thing. It's something that is conveyed in body language, actions and language. There is this concept of "manufactured" confidence these days, where there is this "self-help" ideal of what confidence is. Confidence is not something you can learn in a book or magazine. Confidence is a natural product that arrises from being happy with one's self. Not full of yourself, but happy.

3) Over-confidence is false confidence. It's confidence where there is no reason to be confident. This could apply to anything. Socially it's a killer. I hate the person who flutters around like a social butterfly but who lacks any kind of redeeming social skills. You know, the ones who are in your face demanding attention but who can't do conversation. They annoy me.

I see some vague similarity, but I don't see plagerism. Plus, none of the above is "original thought". It's general knowledge really.

Karl Hungus

Jaysis nesf, a little sarcastic retort is all that's required, I'm hardly serious. "Stealing my thoughts"? C'mon.

nesf

Karl Hungus wrote:

Jaysis nesf, a little sarcastic retort is all that's required, I'm hardly serious. "Stealing my thoughts"? C'mon.

I'm just playing with ya

Plus, I do steal people's thoughts. I keep them in little jars on my mantlepiece...

(well, I should add that an odd sense of humour and boredom make for a dangerous mix....)

the smiley one

nesf wrote:

Women love confidence? Hmm. Yeah, I think they do.

Don't really agree with that. With men the confidence thing is usually classified, as it is with women. ie. they are either a "lad", a "D4, roysh" type etc. Personally I find a guy who isn't in your face all the time and is quieter and more pensive more attractive - one who you can actually have a conversation with about things that matter. Yeah, Mr. Confidence is good for a short while, but what's left after the facade is stripped down? Nothing.

(I'm kinda middle-of-the-road myself, quite loud with my friends, but not-so-much with people I don't know....Don't know if that even matters...)

simu

the smiley one wrote:

Personally I find a guy who isn't in your face all the time and is quieter and more pensive more attractive - one who you can actually have a conversation with about things that matter. Yeah, Mr. Confidence is good for a short while, but what's left after the facade is stripped down? Nothing.

Yeah but that in-your-face thing is more often bravado than confidence. A truly confident person can relax and doesn't feel the need to prove him/herself constantly.

nesf

simu wrote:

Yeah but that in-your-face thing is more often bravado than confidence. A truly confident person can relax and doesn't feel the need to prove him/herself constantly.

Yup, exactly

People with something to prove don't come across as confident. They try too hard or something.

Wez

The smiley one.. I'm the same.. loud etc with my friends, but quite around strangers.. Although trying to change that a bit.

What're your details? :P

Wez

Also, I hate going to clubs etc to try pull! You've gotta be a knacker to try get anyone! I'm more of a personality guy, both ways.. I think I've got a good personality, and I like a girl with a good personality.. My ideal girl would be a kinda shy, but not too shy a girl, who I'm physically attracted to, and get on great with..

I've seen ugly guys with real hot girls, but I know they've got a personality, so imo, they deserve a hot girlfriend.. However, the knacker with the whopper girlfriend doesn't deserver her. He treats her like dirt and she worships him and he hasn't got a personality, just a robbed car and a warrant for his arrest..

What I wanna know is, where do you go to get a hot girlfriend who likes you for your personality?

LadyJ

Depends how *ahem* big your personality is I guess!

Third_Echelon

LadyJ wrote:

Depends how *ahem* big your personality is I guess!

wow... 33 posts before a penis comment.... not on the ball today are we ladyj????

Civilian_Target

Having just come back from Germany I reckon that Irish people are just too damn afraid of lust. To hell with impressions, get on with it is what I say!

Wez

It's huge.. You can check it out for yourself..

the_syco

nesf wrote:

(well, I should add that an odd sense of humour and boredom make for a dangerous mix....)

Aye. I agree with ye there. Holloween, narrow road, lit firelighters across it:cool:

=-=

As for women, I like those that have a great personality, good looking, and easy going (by easy going, I mean sense of humour/relaxed). Of course, what I call good looking some of my mates wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. But hey, the looks go hand in hand with the personality, most of the time imo. If either is fake... well, I suppose it depends.

=-=

Oh, and beggers can be choosers. Only the desperate say otherwise.

nesf

the_syco wrote:

Of course, what I call good looking some of my mates wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole.

Maybe I'm odd, but for me it's always been when she has no make up on and has made no effort to look good (think first thing in the morning or something).

That's when I think a girl is good looking. If that makes sense.

the_syco

nesf wrote:

Maybe I'm odd, but for me it's always been when she has no make up on and has made no effort to look good (think first thing in the morning or something).

That's when I think a girl is good looking. If that makes sense.

Aye, it makes sense. You prefer the "natural" look. Not the umpa-lumpa or face-cake(lots of make-up) look. I just like goths/brunettes.

the smiley one

Yeah, I get what you are saying nesf and simu, but how's one to know true confidence from shyness/bravado. Someone who is really confident could come across as being shy (just being really secure in themselves) or maybe even bigheaded (don't even feel like they need to make an effort). I know that's a bit extreme but it happens....the nice quiet ones get overlooked by most people (even by me..... )


I think everyone has completely different tastes when it comes to good looking people - I started laughing once when my friend told me she thought a guy-friend of ours was hot. He is soooo not! (imo)

Personality is a must, also depth......and someone who knows more about me than stuff......no, not that kinda stuff, ie. knowledgeable....That really didn't come out right....

Wez wrote:

The smiley one.. I'm the same.. loud etc with my friends, but quite around strangers.. Although trying to change that a bit.

What're your details? :P

a/s/l :rolleyes: .....

(also don't try and change cuz you will just come off fake; just be yourself and trust that there are people out there you will like you for you.....Someone give me a job on Dr.Phil...)

nesf

the_syco wrote:

Aye, it makes sense. You prefer the "natural" look. Not the umpa-lumpa or face-cake(lots of make-up) look. I just like goths/brunettes.

Mmmmmmmm.

Goth chicks....

The thin one's mind you!! None of this, I'm huge, but I'm going to dress in a corset malarky.

Corsets are a privilidge, not a right damnit!!

the_syco

nesf wrote:

Mmmmmmmm.

Goth chicks....

The thin one's mind you!! None of this, I'm huge, but I'm going to dress in a corset malarky.

Dude. A fat chick dressed like a goth is still a fat chick. Saying that, tho, some people like that. Not me, tho. At the same time, I don't want to count her ribs...:rolleyes: so a little bit of fat ain't too bad, but not too much. Somewhere in between.

Kingsize

study it as long as i have & youll find fat goth chicks are in the majority.
i aint complaing though ......

Wez

Girls that have a bit to grab are pretty sexy imo. I don't like girls that look like they can't afford a meal, that's just plain unattractive.. imo..

LadyJ

Wez wrote:

Girls that have a bit to grab are pretty sexy imo. I don't like girls that look like they can't afford a meal, that's just plain unattractive.. imo..

Sure,no one likes poor people!

Tar.Aldarion

lol
metal girls for me...and nice and confident!

klap trap

klap trap.

Bold.

stop attacking posters.

- Mordeth

LadyJ

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

metal girls for me

Prefer mine to be made from skin and bones tbh!

Tar.Aldarion

they don't last long enough! /strap in and feel the g's

PullMyFinger!

Dublin girls are increasingly full of boll*x. Sex In The City has got alot to answer for, damn you HBO

Wez

rise above it wez - Mordeth