Changing Your Mind Constanly

Greazo

Im referring to my ex girlfriend here,we`ve recently split up and basically its down to her constanly changing her mind not just about trivial things but serious things..ever since i met her ive noticed she had a tendency to change her mind about things but its not until if affects you directly causing heartbreak and destruction thats when things start to go pear shaped,let me give you an example last year for instance we were due to move in together,she had been living in the UK for a number of years and did say she wanted to return home,all the travelling (mostly me i may add) was getting too much,anyways she initially said she wasnt sure about it so i left it,one weekend i was over we again talked about it and decided to go for it so i got the ball rolling and started looking for a place,after a week or two and it was looking like we had somewhere one nite on the phone she announced that she`d had a change of heart and couldnt go through with it..needless to say that ripped me up somewhat,she decided she wasnt ready despite us talking at great length about it.

That took a while to get over and back to the long distance relationship,she then announced she was moving away abroad where her brother was and had his own business,then changed her mind,changed it back again and then back again..all this time my head was wrecked,your probably thinking why not dump her but i loved/love her deeply,unfortunately as it transpired i actually loved her more than she did me..anyway throughout all this we would break up supposedly for good,then she would change her mind and we`d get back together,like a fcukin merry go round,id be here until next week if i was to tell you absolutely everything she changed her mind about,basically it all came to a head last month,we`d split again after another row (always argued on the phone funnily enough we rarely argued face to face)i went over to England to see her,she was definetly moving back to Ireland as she had sold her apartment and was just waiting for the sale to be fully completed,she was adamant this time she was definetly moving to Spain where her brother has his own business (her brother also seems to be a massive influence on her)anyway that weekend was seriously emotional,for me this time she really was going and from the moment i arrived it was all emotion.

Anyway on the Sunday nite i was due to fly back to Dublin on the Monday it was all very upsetting,i kept saying we`d never see each other for months or maybe never,i was basically in bits over it and i could see she was as well,anyway she said she wouldnt go,she couldnt bear to leave me,i was shocked but delighted but knowing how she changes her mind i said it to her at least 5 times,please this time mean what you say do not change your mind again this time it would be too much to take,if you really and truly mean what you say thats brilliant nut please im begging you do NOT change your mind again she swore she wouldnt,as you can imagine i was overjoyed,it was like a dark cloud had been lifted from me,i actually said it to her again please this time dont change your mind..she said she wouldnt..anyways 2 weeks later she arrives back in Ireland (Donegal)i couldnt wait to see her but gave her a week to settle back into it,we were on the phone talking one nite and she seemed a bit off,i asked her what was wrong and she said that her family had been saying her about her going to Spain and was she looking forward to it

i said why not tell them your not going she said she thought she had made a mistake and she there was a possability of her still going out there,i nearly passed out when i heard this,i could not believe what i was hearing,i was dumstruck,lost for words initially,i exploded,i said how the fcuk can you do this you absolutely swore to me this time you would not change your mind,and here you are talking about going,she tried saying it was me who backed her into a corner and forced her to make a decision,bulls**t..i never heard such rubbish in all my life,i was absolutely distraught,i couldnt even face going into work the next day,i just stayed in bed most of the day under the covers..a few days later i rang her but it just developed into an argument,no matter what i done it didnt seem to be good enough,ive told her she has a serious problem regarding changing her mind,she said she aknowledged she had a slight problem but then said i was the only one who ever said this to her,she didnt think it was that serious,put yourself in my shoes ive been indirectly affected on numerous occasions regarding her changing her mind but she doesnt seem to think its all that big of an issue,anyway in the last few weeks i deleted her number,but ended up sending her e-mails of which she wouldnt reply,i sent her another one saying i couldnt believe after all this time she would actually igmore me like i wasnt there,she replied with a short reply saying to give it space,,right now i dont know if she`s gone or not and its killing me,i dont have a contact number for her nor do i know where her mums house is,i feel like the biggest mug of all time,all the travelling i done while she was living in England,all the s hit i put up with,im not saying it was all her fault but changing your mind like that cannot be attributed as normal behaviour i dont care what anyone says,right now i am absolutely gutted,i keep thinking of her living it up in Spain with her brother and blokes coming onto her and its killing me,i am not one for usually posting things like this on an internet forum but id be interested to hear if anyone has had a similar experience as regards your girlfriend/boyfriend,etc changing their minds like this,the relationship lasted 1 year and 2 months,and was the most intense ive ever had and ive never been into someone as much as i have her,i do know on occasions she actually looks into this forum and will definetly know who this is if she sees this,i just cannot believe anyone can be so heartless,i would`ve done absolutely anything for her and now its gone..sorry for harping on but as you can imagine im visibly upset over the whole sorry episode.

smileygal

[Girl's point of view] You deserve better. Way better.

nesf

I tried hard to read that, but man seriously, use paragraphs if you are going to post something that long. It's hard to read it when it's just one continuous piece.


Sounds rough though tbh. I agree with Smileygirl, except from a lad's perspective.

smileygal

Yes i struggled reading that - might put people off reading the full thing and the resulting comments you are looking for.

*checks own spelling and layout... *

P.S.
The fact that you did all/most of the long-distance travelling says a lot. Unless she had a great and continuous excuse for not visiting you, she really didn't make enough effort IMO.

Greazo

sorry i should`ve probably used paragraphs wasnt thinking..thanks for understanding..i just cannot understand why someone can be so heartless,i know i will get over it in time but right now its killing me..i really hope she reads this..she will definetly know who this is,mabbe she might want to give her take it but i doubt it..she said sorry but im afraid this time its too late for apologies the real damage has been done,all she had to do was stick to her guns and say she was going when i was over there last month but no she changed her mind,then changed it back again....its desperate :eek:

Greazo

I edited it a bit hope its a bit easier to read now

smileygal

Looks like you're better off parting, as it sounds like you would have to endure more mind-changing. Being with someone shouldn't have to be so stressful/ incoherent, but sadly when one person is 'heartless' and the other is willing to give it all they've got, it's not a case of 'Opposites attract'.

Hope the rawness of it all ends soon for you.(i.e. it'll take a while to get better, but it will)

Greazo

Yeah so do i,thing is though i feel i have to somewhat change,without wanting to sound pompus but when it comes to me and any relationship ive been in ive always been like the nice guy (not in a geeky way you know what i mean) but it seems it gets you nowhere so im thinking to myself that i have to change my outlook,there`s no way i can go through more heartbreak like this,its happened before but nothing on the scale as this,the fcuked up thing is that she seems to just get on with it,she doesnt let these things directly affect her whereas im the opposite it seriously affects my whole life..another thing i didnt mention she is a seriously good looking girl and attracted a lot of male attention whereas i would consider myself average and i always felt somewhat privleged in a way that i was going out with someone like her,looks shouldnt really matter unless your inmature but she has had several serious relationships and has been with so many blokes,whereas me despite being 4 years older have been with a few but nothing on the scale of her,that caused some friction but i was willing to overlook it,but she would never be short of admirers..its a sorry state of affairs the way its ended,all she had to do was stick to her original plan and go to Spain to live and it would`ve ended on good terms instead of this...its a sorry state of affairs.....

nesf

Greazo wrote:

I edited it a bit hope its a bit easier to read now

Much, thank you


To be honest mate I've seen this kind of situation before. You are much better off being broken up with her. She obviously isn't in a "settling" down frame of mind and is flighty as hell. You on the otherhand seem to need commitment and a predictable future (not a bad thing to want).

The thing is, you don't have a right to force her to be tied down to you. It's very hard to accept, but you two might be better off as people by breaking up with each other. Sometimes you need to let them go, and if she has wanderlust and you want to stay put then there isn't a whole lot you can do about it that won't upset and dissapoint one of you.


My advice. Be happy for the good times you shared. Love her, but know that you two are not to be together. Take some time to collect your head and heart and move on. It's not easy, but it's the only thing to do in this situation.

I'd also advise you to avoid long distance relationships in your case. But you probably don't need to be told that.

Greazo

Your probably right mate but what really gets me is the way she constanly changed her mind,especially the last time thats the real killer,i wasnt on for settling down as such but could`ve done with some stability as im 34 she`s 30 but seems to be a free spirit alright,but you know what if she would`ve just stuck to her original plan last month and said she was going and that was that things would`ve been a hell of a lot easier,sure it would`ve been tough but by now most of the rawness would`ve been gone..another thing i forgot to mention is that her brother is lets say fairly loaded (she`s not short of a few bob herself but thats beside the point) and runs a succesful business in Spain,and knows a lot of lets say "influential people" she would talk about him a great deal like he was the son of God,i never met the guy (i never actually met any of her family or friends as it transpires)but it used to get to me that she would go on about him so much,im sure he`s a really nice guy but when someone constanly talks about someone you tend to get a bit bored but besides all that,he would also be a massive reason as to why she wants to move out there,she could work for him part time and get paid a healthy wage and get to travel,i always felt i was like playing second fiddle at times to him,sounds silly but when you hear so much about someone all the time what else are you expected to think..she knows as well it was me doing all the running but no point goping over all that now..ioll certainly be avoiding long distance relationships in future,all relationships in fact,im not one of these blokes who can just finish with someone and move onto someone else,my self esteem and confidence right now is zero......

Dizzyblabla

sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but she was probably going to go to Spain all along, it's not so much that she was changing her mind, she just didn't want to tell you, so lied to keep you happy, although it broke your heart even more when she finally told the truth, but notice, it was whenever she saw you in person that she said she would stay in Ireland, but on the phone she could tell you the truth...
onwards and upwards is the only way to go I'm afraid....

Greazo

Dizzyblabla wrote:

sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but she was probably going to go to Spain all along, it's not so much that she was changing her mind, she just didn't want to tell you, so lied to keep you happy, although it broke your heart even more when she finally told the truth, but notice, it was whenever she saw you in person that she said she would stay in Ireland, but on the phone she could tell you the truth...
onwards and upwards is the only way to go I'm afraid....

Well if that was the case id be even more digusted..she actually did swear to me last month she was staying in Ireland,i made a point of saying it to her more than 5 times to mean what she says ans she said she did but changed her mind.......

Esel

Greazo wrote:

I edited it a bit hope its a bit easier to read now

Please edit it a lot more (ie more paragraphs). I attempted to read your edited version but soon stopped. You will get a lot more input if your OP is readable.

Dizzyblabla

Girls can't bear to make people unhappy, so we try to please everybody, I don't know for sure, but I'd say she was only doing just that, trying to keep you happy...

Greazo

Dizzyblabla wrote:

Girls can't bear to make people unhappy, so we try to please everybody, I don't know for sure, but I'd say she was only doing just that, trying to keep you happy...

well she made me the complete opposite,if she would`ve stuck to her original plan sure it would`ve been tough but by now id be over the worst of it and we could`ve remained friends,and kept in touch but after whats happened im not sure thats possible although maybe in time to come it might be..another thing i fear the same thing might happen to another bloke if she starts seeing someone else,and my brain being so fried i keep imaging her with some other bloke......

Belladonna

You know what, Greazo? You sound like a really nice man and I think she must have loved you very much in her own way. Of course I can only make guesses, but I think the problem was that she had different plans for her life and although she knew deep down that she wanted to move to Spain, like someone else said, she wanted to please you and so that's why she said she would stay in Ireland. Perhaps she really thought she would and so it wasn't a lie in her mind. But as much as she cared about you and wanted to stay for your sake, in the end she had to do what she felt was right for her.

There have been times when I have changed my mind and to someone else it might have appeared like I was playing games or being thoughtless. But really it was that I was struggling with something inside myself and said what that person wanted to hear, not what I really wanted deep down and it wasn't until I was pushed to act on my promise that I realized that it wasn't what I wanted after all.

It hurts now, and I am sorry that you went through that. But you are better off without her and please don't hold that against the next woman that comes into your life. I think most women would be lucky to have you so hold out for someone that appreciates you for the person you are (even if she's not a stunner)

Greazo

Thanks very much for your kind words Belladonna,its an extremly difficult time right now and i feel i have to change my outlook somewhat to prevent this sort of thing from happening again..pity its ended the way it has but i can hardly be held accountable for that....

up for anything

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and bitter at the moment but IT WILL PASS. However just reading the story as you tell it, I sure would like to hear her version. You're coming across, to me anyway, as someone who in a relationship would be very possesive and full-on (This intuition is not so much from what you say as how you say it.) You also don't sound like a mature 34yr old man, more like a teenager whinging about how much she talks about her brother and how much she admires him. Surely this is a good thing because then if she felt strongly about you that you would be assured of the same steadfastness and loyalty from her. I'm not saying this is how it is but how it comes over to me.

Greazo

up for anything wrote:

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and bitter at the moment but IT WILL PASS. However just reading the story as you tell it, I sure would like to hear her version. You're coming across, to me anyway, as someone who in a relationship would be very possesive and full-on (This intuition is not so much from what you say as how you say it.) You also don't sound like a mature 34yr old man, more like a teenager whinging about how much she talks about her brother and how much she admires him. Surely this is a good thing because then if she felt strongly about you that you would be assured of the same steadfastness and loyalty from her. I'm not saying this is how it is but how it comes over to me.

mmmmm your not a friend of hers by any chance are you,inmature,possessive,full on,i dont think so,nothing of the sort in fact,well tell a lie i can be full on maybe on occasions but ive never been possessive in my life,thats ridulacous..im sure lots of people like their brother/sister but to talk about someone constanly can get somewhat irritating,i felt i knew about everything he was doing in his life at times than i did my own,as for me being inmature,your entitled to your opinion but its bulls**t,i know im mature,i just tell it like it is,im the one who`s been shafted here

smileygal

Not mature? Hello?

Greazo has clearly got bucketfuls of patience, generosity, honesty, sensitivity and most importantly, RESPECT FOR WOMEN.

= Qualities lacking in soooooo many guys these days :mad:

up for anything

Greazo, I reread your posts just to make sure that my initial thoughts were fair and nothing in them changed my mind and your reply just served to reinforce my opinion.

Greazo wrote:

mmmmm your not a friend of hers by any chance are you,inmature,possessive,full on

Are these things that she said to you on occasion?

Also I find it a bit sad that you're obviously hoping that she reads this thread and as far as I can make out that was your only reason for starting it. Although I have been known to be wrong on occasion. The only other thing that I could get take out of your posts that apart from feeling hard done by more then is good for you is that you are also the jealous type which is a surefire way to drive someone away from you.

Greazo wrote:

anyways 2 weeks later she arrives back in Ireland (Donegal)i couldnt wait to see her but gave her a week to settle back into it

Two ways to look at this and none of them Mr Nice Guy. One, that she asked you to give her time and two that you were so unsure of her that you waited to be asked. People who love each other and want to be together don't generally give each other time "to settle back into it".

Smileygal, you've only got Greazo's side of the story. I can't see how you've managed to work out that he has

Smileygal wrote:

got bucketfuls of patience, generosity, honesty, sensitivity and most importantly, RESPECT FOR WOMEN.

My impression is actually quite the opposite.

I can see I'm in a minority of one here so I'll stay out of it from now on. Good luck with future relationships Greazo. I'm not being facetious here.

Greazo

up for anything wrote:

Greazo, I reread your posts just to make sure that my initial thoughts were fair and nothing in them changed my mind and your reply just served to reinforce my opinion. Are these things that she said to you on occasion?

Also I find it a bit sad that you're obviously hoping that she reads this thread and as far as I can make out that was your only reason for starting it. Although I have been known to be wrong on occasion. The only other thing that I could get take out of your posts that apart from feeling hard done by more then is good for you is that you are also the jealous type which is a surefire way to drive someone away from you.

Two ways to look at this and none of them Mr Nice Guy. One, that she asked you to give her time and two that you were so unsure of her that you waited to be asked. People who love each other and want to be together don't generally give each other time "to settle back into it".

Smileygal, you've only got Greazo's side of the story. I can't see how you've managed to work out that he has My impression is actually quite the opposite.

I can see I'm in a minority of one here so I'll stay out of it from now on. Good luck with future relationships Greazo. I'm not being facetious here.

Mmmmmm very suspicious you sound just like her or a friend of hers but ill give you the benefit of the doubt..i could'nt care less if she reads this or not,chances are she's living it up in Barcelona right now and logging onto the personal forum on Boards would'nt be top of the agenda..its clear here you dont really know what your talking about,i am not or never have been "the jealous type" there's a hint of jealousy in everybody some more than others,i DONT fall into the category as the jealous type..when she arrived back in Donegal i actually wanted to see her the weeekend after she arrived back but it was HER idea to leave it for a while,initially i said i wouldnt see her the weekend she arrived back as she would be catching up with her family,etc,in fact if i didnt know better id almost say she probably realised in the cold light of day the mistake she made and couldnt bring herself to tell me to my face that once again she'd changed her mind which is why she told me on the phone one night about 2/3 weeks ago..maybe its me being paranoid but i find it extremly suspucious that someone like yourself has come on here and said things like this when ive clearly told the full version of events as its stands,why would i come on a public Internet forum and say all this,do you think im an attention seeker or something..you know what i could if i wanted really dish the dirt on her but that's not my style,im bigger than that,initially when i was really upset and drunk one night i did think about it but what's that going to achieve nothing so i wont,i am not trying to make out here that i am some martyr far from it,i have my faults like everybody else,but absolutely everything ive posted on this forum is 100% true,and nothing but that,im not really one for coming on Internet forums like this one and saying posting stuff like this but i have come on and im glad that some people have been understanding and have had similar experiences,its good that people can spill their heart out allbeit anonymously..your welcome to your opinion but what you;ve said could not be further from the truth..oh BTW thanks for your kind words Smileygal..

PS-Probably me being paranoid again but if this is you S then you fcukin know what im saying is true

Esel

FFS sake OP. *Paragraphs* (via the Return key), *spaces* (space bar - like you thankfully use after words) after punctuation marks (there are a *lot* of these by the way - not just commas). The odd uppercase letter would not go astray (in the proper position).

Anyway, I think your gf has been given the URL for this thread; and also that some of your fans here (also privy to the URL) are too obvious.

Blog me if I'm off the beam.

WhiteWashMan

Belladonna wrote:

You know what, Greazo? You sound like a really nice man and I think she must have loved you very much in her own way. Of course I can only make guesses, but I think the problem was that she had different plans for her life and although she knew deep down that she wanted to move to Spain, like someone else said, she wanted to please you and so that's why she said she would stay in Ireland. Perhaps she really thought she would and so it wasn't a lie in her mind. But as much as she cared about you and wanted to stay for your sake, in the end she had to do what she felt was right for her.

spot on.

while i certainly dont agree with your 'heartless bitch' comment, i think she was just doing her best to try and include you in her plans.

peopla re allowed to change their minds, but people like that are annoying at worst.

up for anything

I AM NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND. Just someone who has been around long enough to be a reasonsably astute student of human nature. If his ex-gf has any sense she will stay far, far away from Greazo and if she does read this thread will not bother to comment on it as he will take that as renewed interest. If what I am saying is something that her friends would say it could well mean that I'm spot on regarding my reading of the situation. It's usually the friends of either party who know the truth of the situation because they are close enough to see what is going on.

Gordon

Greazo I really don't like PI being used as your personal soapbox for getting word out to your ex.

Please format your posts to a legible degree or I will close this thread.

Greazo

Gordon wrote:

Greazo I really don't like PI being used as your personal soapbox for getting word out to your ex.

Please format your posts to a legible degree or I will close this thread.

I have absolutely no idea what your talking about here,if i wanted to get in touch with her id send her an e-mail,close the thread if you want its all the same to me ive said what i have to say on the matter,and am gone beyond caring.

Greazo

esel wrote:

FFS sake OP. *Paragraphs* (via the Return key), *spaces* (space bar - like you thankfully use after words) after punctuation marks (there are a *lot* of these by the way - not just commas). The odd uppercase letter would not go astray (in the proper position).

Anyway, I think your gf has been given the URL for this thread; and also that some of your fans here (also privy to the URL) are too obvious.

Blog me if I'm off the beam.

Im afraid your way off the mark here i dont know anybody on here..and if your gonna moan about me not using paragraphs,etc,etc dont bother replying,s hit like that isnt really top of the agenda for me right now eh

Greazo

up for anything wrote:

I AM NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND. Just someone who has been around long enough to be a reasonsably astute student of human nature. If his ex-gf has any sense she will stay far, far away from Greazo and if she does read this thread will not bother to comment on it as he will take that as renewed interest. If what I am saying is something that her friends would say it could well mean that I'm spot on regarding my reading of the situation. It's usually the friends of either party who know the truth of the situation because they are close enough to see what is going on.

You really have absolutely no idea what your talking about here,IM THE ONE who has been shafted here,IM THE ONE who has had to put up with this c rap,despite being visibly upset its better that it's over now,there's only so much someone can take of someone constanly changing their minds good riddance

Gordon

What's the point of this thread again? I must say if your online temperament is anything like it is offline then I wouldn't be surprised if your ex was wary of telling you what she felt for fear of you flying off the handle. You seem to be quite tetchy.

You mentioned that you "love her deeply". If you were telling the truth when you wrote that then I suggest you chill for a while. I'm leaving this open for now, would love it if your ex came on and gave her side to balance this one sided monologue out.

Greazo

Gordon wrote:

What's the point of this thread again? I must say if your online temperament is anything like it is offline then I wouldn't be surprised if your ex was wary of telling you what she felt for fear of you flying off the handle. You seem to be quite tetchy.

You mentioned that you "love her deeply". If you were telling the truth when you wrote that then I suggest you chill for a while. I'm leaving this open for now, would love it if your ex came on and gave her side to balance this one sided monologue out.

Why wouldnt i be "quite tetchy" at this moment in time when you have people like this character up for anything more or less telling me IM IN THE WRONG when its clear im the one here who has been shafted,trust me im usually a perfectly reserved bloke,indeed wouldnt it be very interesting if my ex came on and gave "her side of the story" not much she could say though,she could hardly deny changing her mind constanly which is basically my main gripe,anyway as i said no doubt she's in Spain living it up so id be very suprised if she actually took the time to post on a forum like this..no doubt she has all but erased me from her mind anyway

Gordon

So why post this thread then?

Greazo

Gordon wrote:

So why post this thread then?

why not?I was looking to see if anybody has had a similar experience and for some advice on the matter,most people have been helpful although this up for anything character seems to think its my fault..

Gordon

Have you looked in to the possibility of it being your fault? Blind faith in ones-self can be quite overpowering sometimes. It is a very healthy nourishment for the body and soul to accept the fact that there may be more than meets the eye, that what we see, hear and feel may only be the tip of the iceberg, and what we believe to be true may in fact not be.

I know you're not going to go inquiring or being inquisitive in this situation but at least have the decency to understand that advice comes in all shapes and forms. Sometimes good advice you will consider helpful and sometimes you will consider it bollix. But please at least do not have a go at any poster that is trying to give advice from either side of the grass verge.

It's like you're just lashing out y'know.

up for anything

Get over it Greaso! You may want to consider changing your user name to "I, Myself and Me" to reflect the way you look at the world. If you post your problem on a public forum don't expect everyone to see it your way and stroke your already oversized ego. Time to grow up laddie.

Greazo

Gordon wrote:

Have you looked in to the possibility of it being your fault? Blind faith in ones-self can be quite overpowering sometimes. It is a very healthy nourishment for the body and soul to accept the fact that there may be more than meets the eye, that what we see, hear and feel may only be the tip of the iceberg, and what we believe to be true may in fact not be.

I know you're not going to go inquiring or being inquisitive in this situation but at least have the decency to understand that advice comes in all shapes and forms. Sometimes good advice you will consider helpful and sometimes you will consider it bollix. But please at least do not have a go at any poster that is trying to give advice from either side of the grass verge.

It's like you're just lashing out y'know.

How could it possibly be my fault?I am not the one who kept changing my mind about things,im not gonna totally slate her she did have some really good qualities,but changing your mind like she did caused hurt and destruction,if i make a decision about something fairly serious ill damn well stick to it,sure people are allowed change their minds, but not on the scale like she did about so many things.

All she had to do was stick to her original plan and things would've been a whole lot better,there is no way on earth i am to blame,im the one who was left behind,i gave it 110% but it was never good enough,all the travelling (in all that time she came here a grand total of 4 times) i went to see her 20 times that,its clear i was more into her than she was me,i know that now for definete,i wont be making the same mistake again again let me assure you

Greazo

up for anything wrote:

Get over it Greaso! You may want to consider changing your user name to "I, Myself and Me" to reflect the way you look at the world. If you post your problem on a public forum don't expect everyone to see it your way and stroke your already oversized ego. Time to grow up laddie.

your one sad indivudual may i suggest you get a life of your own,who do you think you are some kind of expert on relationships,you havent a clue what your talking about..run along now

up for anything

I do try occasionally to be the bigger person in a difference of opinion but you've discovered my one weakness - the last word.

marktsang

hey greazo,
sorry for the pain you may be feeling , but i really think that no story is one sided - im not saying what you are saying isnt true just that there are two truths in every story (or different interpretations thereof)

i know you keep saying it wasnt your fault at all becasue you werent the one who kept changing your mind but have you wondered why she kept changing her mind, im sure you had some hand in that. your side of the story does sound one sided to me but thats to be expected as your still hurting.

does sound like your better off now that you have closure though.
good luck

mark

pretty-in-pink

I had some sympathy for you fromn you're first post OP, then was shocked to find out the pair of ye (you and your ex) are mature, over 30 adults. I was further shocked, and appalled to see you so viciusly attack the people who took the time and energy to post their own neutral, fresh POV on your situation. Guess what, not everyone is going to agree with you all the time, and a public boards is going to have a wide variety of opinions. If you can't handle it, then maybe you should just moan down the pub, or talk to a counceller about the pain you're feeling, when the people you're with will listen to you and not give their own honest opinions to you becasue a)they are your friends or b)they are being paid to listen to you, and try help you in a way you can accept.

You sound like you could be my age (20). God, you'd even be a little immature for 20, but at least it'd make more sense. FFS you should be more wise to the ways of the world, getting ready to settle down etc. You're big enough now to be able to make your own decisions, for yourself- so is she. What praytell stopped you from going to spain? It doesn't sound like you have anything major keeping you here.....if you really loved her you would have offered to follow her. If her going to Spain meant ye were going to break up, then ye shouldn't have been together in the first place.

Before you go accusing me of a)being your ex or b) being friends with her, I'll let you know all of my friends are in their early twenties. And none of them are from up north. I reckon you owe the people you have attacked here an apology, and I also reckon you are a scary guy- possesive, angry, unreasonable, and selfish.

You're right to be hurt is not being questioned, but you're total placement of blame on her is weird.....it doesn't seem like she loved you nor does it seem like you loved her, maybe I'm wrong, but by just looking at your posts I have to say you creep me out, so I'm going to take a wild stab in the the dark and say that you have creeped/do creep others out..maybe including her. I really would lkike to hear her side of the story. What exactly is it that you will take responsibility for?

One thing I'll say is thank-you...you make my spelling and grammer look super . It might be horrible being away from "the love of your life", but I think she made a lucky break...and you need to grow up.

Gordon...if this is unfair just edit it or PM me, I'm trying to be reasonable and honest and fair....but the guy really does strike me as creepy. I could be wrong, and I apologise if so....

WhiteWashMan

Greazo wrote:

your one sad indivudual may i suggest you get a life of your own,who do you think you are some kind of expert on relationships,you havent a clue what your talking about..run along now

well, to be honest, if this is the kind of person you turn into when you dont get your own way, then im not surprised your ex was always changing her mind.
shed try and do one thing, and no doubt youd bully her into changing it to suit you.

i feel sorry this girl has wasted so much time with you.
on the other hand, i have no idea why this girl wasted so much time with you, so she is equally at fault.

oh well, at least your apart now, so problem solved. so either you have a point to your posting, or you just want to continue your ranting about how unjust the universe is...?

Beruthiel

Greazo wrote:

How could it possibly be my fault?I am not the one who kept changing my mind about things

this is what I understand from what you have written so far:
ex makes a decision
you talk her around
she gives in
when left alone, she changes her mind back to the way she wants it
you talk her around
she gives in
when left alone, she changes her mind back to the way she wants it
repeat X as many times as this has happened

it's both of your faults for not just leaving it long before now instead of trying to beat a dead horse.
I suggest you leave the girl alone and get on with the rest of your life.

Gilgamesh

THEY ARE 30????? OMG
didn't realise that, was readin it and was very sure they weren't even in their twenties.

completely agree with Ruthie on this, the only issue your girlfriend has, is that she let you talk her into something else than she actually wanted to do in the first place.
If you did love her, you wouldn't have let it gotten that far and just asked her what she wanted before pushing your ideas into her head.

also, I am surpised this thread was left open for so long, as you seem to have a serious issue taking critique from people who aren't in your opinion.
a public Forum won't just have people in it who will offer you a BJ just because you are down(sigh!) they will express their own thoughts on this matter.

WhiteWashMan

we get blow jobs here?

where do i sign up?

pretty-in-pink

In the corner, behind the guy in the cloak.

Beruthiel

get back on topic!
pups
B

Greazo

naughty_girl wrote:

I had some sympathy for you fromn you're first post OP, then was shocked to find out the pair of ye (you and your ex) are mature, over 30 adults. I was further shocked, and appalled to see you so viciusly attack the people who took the time and energy to post their own neutral, fresh POV on your situation. Guess what, not everyone is going to agree with you all the time, and a public boards is going to have a wide variety of opinions. If you can't handle it, then maybe you should just moan down the pub, or talk to a counceller about the pain you're feeling, when the people you're with will listen to you and not give their own honest opinions to you becasue a)they are your friends or b)they are being paid to listen to you, and try help you in a way you can accept.

You sound like you could be my age (20). God, you'd even be a little immature for 20, but at least it'd make more sense. FFS you should be more wise to the ways of the world, getting ready to settle down etc. You're big enough now to be able to make your own decisions, for yourself- so is she. What praytell stopped you from going to spain? It doesn't sound like you have anything major keeping you here.....if you really loved her you would have offered to follow her. If her going to Spain meant ye were going to break up, then ye shouldn't have been together in the first place.

Before you go accusing me of a)being your ex or b) being friends with her, I'll let you know all of my friends are in their early twenties. And none of them are from up north. I reckon you owe the people you have attacked here an apology, and I also reckon you are a scary guy- possesive, angry, unreasonable, and selfish.

You're right to be hurt is not being questioned, but you're total placement of blame on her is weird.....it doesn't seem like she loved you nor does it seem like you loved her, maybe I'm wrong, but by just looking at your posts I have to say you creep me out, so I'm going to take a wild stab in the the dark and say that you have creeped/do creep others out..maybe including her. I really would lkike to hear her side of the story. What exactly is it that you will take responsibility for?

One thing I'll say is thank-you...you make my spelling and grammer look super . It might be horrible being away from "the love of your life", but I think she made a lucky break...and you need to grow up.

Gordon...if this is unfair just edit it or PM me, I'm trying to be reasonable and honest and fair....but the guy really does strike me as creepy. I could be wrong, and I apologise if so....

Hey im not looking for your sympathy..you think im inmature and creepy no problem your welcome to your opinion,you dont even know me therefore are making presumptions based on internet posts,well hey guess what people get upset and occasionaly lash out that's life,you think im scary,possessive,angry unreasonable and selfish,your a million miles from the truth,if you asked any of my family or friends (both male and female friends) if i was any of the afermentioned they would laugh,as i said you could not be further from the truth

Greazo

WhiteWashMan wrote:

we get blow jobs here?

where do i sign up?

MMMMMM i was going to furnish you with a reply in your other post but clearly you my friend are the one who needs to grow up here,this is hardly the place for such juvenile remarks now is it

LadyJ

Greazo wrote:

Hey im not looking for your sympathy..you think im inmature and creepy no problem your welcome to your opinion,you dont even know me therefore are making presumptions based on internet posts,well hey guess what people get upset and occasionaly lash out that's life,you think im scary,possessive,angry unreasonable and selfish,your a million miles from the truth,if you asked any of my family or friends (both make and female friends) if i was any of the afermentioned they would laugh,as i said you could not be further from the truth

In fairness,it's because she doesn't know you that should possibly make you reflect on her comments. When you step back and look at the bare facts,without any sub-plots etc.,what do you see?

Greazo

Anyway this is my last word on the matter,close this thread if you wish,id like to thank the people who have been helpful,cheers.

Gordon

No, I'm not closing this thread yet. But I understand that you may not want to view or post in it in future, that is your perogative.