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Crime wave comes to an end

  • 16-05-2005 10:58pm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭

    4 Year old Seamus O Maoilán was shot dead yesterday attempting to escape his fischer price play house with a handful of stolen kinder eggs.

    Chief Inspector Donal Naughton said that the local villagers could now live in peace without the fear of "constant and everlasting terror hanging over their heads" and that "the local crime wave" was now at and end.

    More news as it breaks.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,047 ✭✭✭Culchie

    another hoax ..... no properly trained garda shickalony would have completed an interview without the famous " We're keeping an open mind and request the assistance of the public in this matter" and "our investigation is still ongoing".

    Lads, we'll be bloody arrested, I can feel my IP address is under close scrutiny, and I may " be helping them with their enquiries" fairly soon.

    Sure, what else is being posted here, we might as well " make hay whille the sun shines" .... on second thoughts that reminds me of dragon flies in the meadow ..... feck feck feck, where's the flask of tay?

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,711 ✭✭✭Redhairedguy

    Young Seamus, is my aunty Nora's half brother's cousin's father step sister's young lad.

    Apparantly, there were gunshots returned by Seamus, who killed one officer and fatally wounded two ore.

  • Registered Users Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭irishgeo

    i thought seamus was jimmy's uncle daughters son from down the road.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,711 ✭✭✭Redhairedguy

    irishgeo wrote:
    i thought seamus was jimmy's uncle daughters son from down the road.

    Oh of course! silly me! Sure wasn't I talking to jimmy the other day! He said that the child was quite the ragamuffin and tear away. always blatantly refusing to eat his vegetables. Personally, I think the child had a killing coming his way for a long time. "Better off dead!", the auld lads down the pub said, and i agree with them

  • Registered Users Posts: 37,295 ✭✭✭✭the_syco

    Young 'uns these days. First the Playstation, an' now they get their kicks robbing old people. Hanging is too good for them swine!

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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,711 ✭✭✭Redhairedguy

    Honestly, I ask what's next? Murder? Rape? Drug abuse?

    i say we nip this problem right in the bud.

    I'm starting a petition; all children should be burned!

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer

    Ah the children of Ballintubber,

    Innocent children, schoolkids, cute by day

    Out pimping, selling drugs, doing drives bys etc by night

    What is the world coming to....

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,711 ✭✭✭Redhairedguy

    It's a disgrace! A bloody disgrace! Well.... i think we all know who is to blame here!

    It's those bloody foreigners! Coming here and bringing their evil crime-filled cultures with them! You know what i say?

    Send them back to Tyrone!

  • Registered Users Posts: 10,206 ✭✭✭✭JohnCleary

    Here ive some curry cheese chips that im not gonna eat, anyone want them?

  • Registered Users Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭irishgeo

    hate curry. Anybody see the latest issue of zoo with that hottest curry in the world. and the fta guy ate it. It killied his dog though!

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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,711 ✭✭✭Redhairedguy


    A curry..... killed..... his Dog?

    FCUKIN HELL! That's gotta be one muthafcukin hot curry! :eek:

    Any chance, I could get some of that. I know a few "dogs" (children) that could do a good bowl of that!