a blind date

johnnyc

ok i am suppose to meet a girl on a kind of blind date this sat my prob is that this is my first real date i dont want to make a fool of myself any hints.

c - 13

Above all else - BE YOURSELF
What sort of environment you taking her to/meeting her in ?

johnnyc

we are suppose to meet up in pub with one of her friends she stated that to me this week that her friend was interest an me. i was talking to her already but cannot remember the girl hope i dont make a twat of myself

c - 13

The pub with her and her friend(s) is probably one of the easiest places so you should be grand. Just keep it handy - general chat and let it progress from there. If the conversation starts to lapse make your excuses - go to the bar - come back and try again. Plus alcohol makes conversation that much easier.
Also that she's already seen you and is interested is a good thing. Now all you got to do is hope shes not a bad looker

Larianne

You'll be grand. At least there's gonna be other people there. Just be yourself and try to keep the convo going if it goes a bit dead.

Went on this date with a guy (was kinda blind date since last time I saw him I was drunk!) and the amount of silent intervals was tortourous!!! I was the one trying to make the conversation going and I got so tired of it I just stopped! One of his efforts was "Anne, tell me a story??"

I never quick walked/ran to the nighlink faster in my life!!

johnnyc

I hope it aint a bad sign that i dont remember her..any hints what i should do should i but her the first drink i dont want her to get any desperate vibe signs are anything..thanks c-16 for the advice

*Sassy*

Well if there's gonna be two of them, why not bring a friend along too? That way there'll be a little less pressure if you find you're not overly interested in her or whatever. Plus you won't feel like you're on trial in front of the two of them!

Oh yeah, and deffo buy the first drink. Always gives a good impression. Let her buy the next one though!!

Tobias Greeshman

If your the last one there and she already has a drink, then just get yourself a drink, then as the night progresses you can buy her a drink, and/or the rest of the people there too, it'll make you seem generous and she'll like you for it. I seriously doubt she'll get any desperate vibe's if you buy her a drink, if your that worried buy drinks for the others.

c - 13

Hmm ... the first drink .... I would have to say no, give it a while and then decide according to how the night goes if you want to buy her drink or not.

As for avoiding the awkwardness of this - i suggest turn up about 5 - 10 mins after the appointed meeting time. The girls should have started drinking by then thus avoiding the first drink purchases (also being a little late doesnt make you seem overly eager). Then stay about a 1/2 pint behind them until you decide you want to buy her a drink.

Some girls i know interpret the whole "Let me buy you a drink ..." as more of a "Let me buy you a drink ... because i want sex off you later".

Jesus, this makes me seem like such a cheap boll*x

Larianne

The best thing to do is not see this as a Blind Date. You're meeting up with the girl and her friend so it won't be the two of yous alone. Also I really think you should buy the first drink and it won't look desparate as if you buy her the drink you're gonna have to buy the friend a drink aswell 9otherwise it's mean). I'd be a bit insulted if they guy didn't buy or even offer to buy me the first drink. I think guys offering to buy you drinks to lead on to sleeping with them is more if you're in bar and meet someone. This meeting is prearranged.

Don't be worrying so much! Like what is the worst that can happen!! Really?? Just enjoy the night out!

johnnyc

i am bringing a friend with me on the sat night. thats what i hate when u get a women a drink it is kind of implying that ok i have bought you a drink we must have some action tonight?

Chinafoot

c - 13 wrote:

Some girls i know interpret the whole "Let me buy you a drink ..." as more of a "Let me buy you a drink ... because i want sex off you later".

while that may be true in a nightclub situation where theres some lech coming onto you, i think its a bit different when you have arranged the date. Its politeness if anything to buy her a drink and then hopefully she'll offer to get the next one

maybe you should text her and ask her if you should bring a mate along since shes bringing a friend of hers. could just be a case of bringing her mate in case you dont show up and, all going well, her mate will probably head off shortly after. thats what i did when i was going on my first sort-of *blind date*. he brought one of his mates too and they stayed for one drink and then saw that things were going well and they left. we ended up together for almost 2 years

just be yourself and dont try too hard to impress. hope it all goes well.

johnnyc

thanks for the lorraine whats the worst that can happen i will prob burn and die..no what will i talk to this girl about i am very bad

Larianne

Ya know, girls aren't some strange species from outer space. Just talk about whatever you usually talk about. Ask what she does? If she's in college/working and you can go from there. Talk about the pub/bar you're in. The bleedin' weather!! Sure if your mate and her mate are there aswell, they'll rescue you if you get stuck.

*Sassy*

About the drink thing.... I'm not sure how old you are but it is kinda the done thing for the guy to at least offer to buy the first drink, for everyone at the table (your mate can get his own if you want!!). It's no big deal, it doesn't mean anything, it just makes you look generous and is polite. Even if she already has one when you get there, you should ask if you can get her another. She'll probably say no but it just looks better.

Have a good night and don't be worrying about it. Just try to chill out. Most importantly, be yourself!!!! It's very offputting when a guy is putting on an act in front of his friend, or trying to impress the girl with stupid stories.

c - 13

peachypants wrote:

while that may be true in a nightclub situation where theres some lech coming onto you, i think its a bit different when you have arranged the date. Its politeness if anything to buy her a drink and then hopefully she'll offer to get the next one

Hmmm .... this may be true ... it all depends on the girl i guess. Some i know would be overjoyed to be bought drink but like i said some girls would read into it. Sure, offer to buy the first drink anyway .... if nothing else you can gauge the reaction off of it.

Anyway - conversation-wise do you know anything about the girl at all - musical tastes etc ?

ionapaul

Buy the first drink, but if the night goes on without her even offering to return the favour, you will have the freedom of never going on a second date with said girl. I've been on a few blind dates in my day, not returning the favour of buying a drink is piss poor behaviour and indicative of bad things to come.

Larianne

johnnyc wrote:

thanks for the lorraine

It's Larianne, btw

johnnyc

i am fecking nervous i usually one of the lads chat up women at the night club meet up with them during the weeks, have the craic and thats basically a retalionship for me very immature i know.thks for the suggesstion

Chinafoot

ionapaul wrote:

Buy the first drink, but if the night goes on without her even offering to return the favour, you will have the freedom of never going on a second date with said girl. I've been on a few blind dates in my day, not returning the favour of buying a drink is piss poor behaviour and indicative of bad things to come.

yup very true. i went on a few dates with a guy who never once offered to buy me a drink but had no problem with me getting him one. needless to say that didnt last very long. If someone buys me a drink i always try to get them one back, and if i dont get them one that night, then i always make sure to buy them a drink the next time i see them. its just common decency.

as for conversation....thats the good thing about having the friends there. conversation will be a lot easier with more people. one tip though....ask her questions about herself and for the love of god try to look interested in the answer!! theres nothing worse than a fella who talks non-stop about himself without ever asking a question.

above all, dont try to force the conversation.

johnnyc

this is a number of questions i have made up at the moment. i am very bad thats all i can think at the moment
what type of job do you do
what hobbies or sports are u into
what music are you into

johnnyc

c-16 i dont know a susage about only thats she is 23 a nurse and that i meet her some time last week(total annessia)

c - 13

Ah i wouldnt worry too much about that man, knowing something about her beforehand is simply a bonus - not a nessecity (sp?) - just a little something to use if the conversation runs dry ... as previously stated by the other posters ask her about herself and LOOK INTERESTED when she replys

Don't get too worked up over it man, she'll probably be as nervous as you are, and good luck.

johnnyc

thanks c-16 for the advice

johnnyc

the drink thing i will prob buy the first round of drinks dont want to seem spongy

skywalker

ionapaul wrote:

Buy the first drink, but if the night goes on without her even offering to return the favour, you will have the freedom of never going on a second date with said girl. I've been on a few blind dates in my day, not returning the favour of buying a drink is piss poor behaviour and indicative of bad things to come.

Yeah the buying of drink is always one that can go wrong. Esp when a few of her friends are there. You dont wanna go blowing your wad on the 1st round.

ando

Larianne wrote:

Ya know, girls aren't some strange species from outer space

yea right :rolleyes:


Does anyone else think its a bit strange with the girl bringing a friend on the date. That would totally put me off

helpme

so how did it go anyway

nesf

ando wrote:

Does anyone else think its a bit strange with the girl bringing a friend on the date. That would totally put me off

Nah mate, when they don't know each other it's sensible. It's all about feeling comfortable. If she doesn't feel like meeting a guy alone then thats fair enough. If she likes you and you two hit it off, I'm sure her friend will make some excuse and leave.

Or with enough charm, maybe she wont

One Tip I heard a while back was to bring an ugly mate. The whole idea is to make you look better by comparisson.

Does call your friendship with them into question though...

memphis

Wish my mate(s) would do this, I haven't exactly been having much luck in that department lately.

Can I just add though, never ever buy someone a drink on the assumption you'll be bought one back.

hullaballoo

johnnyc wrote:

ok i am suppose to meet a girl on a kind of blind date this sat my prob is that this is my first real date i dont want to make a fool of myself any hints.

Admittedly this is coming from someone who has only had one very bad experience with blind dates,I ended up telling her I had to move to Egypt, but I say just go for it, if it's worth it, you'll never regret it, and if it's not worth it there's no real harm done...in fact, even though mine wasn't what i'd call a perfect date, it was still good craic...hillarious actually.

hullaballoo

:eek:

ionapaul wrote:

Buy the first drink, but if the night goes on without her even offering to return the favour, you will have the freedom of never going on a second date with said girl. I've been on a few blind dates in my day, not returning the favour of buying a drink is piss poor behaviour and indicative of bad things to come.

WTF??? Chivalry? I'm stumped!

johnnyc

helpme it is this sat coming 4days time

ionapaul

hullaballoo wrote:

:eek:



WTF??? Chivalry? I'm stumped!

What do you mean, 'stumped'? You buy a drink, of course, then hopefully you will be offered a drink at some later stage...maybe I've been on more blind dates than you (went on a lot in the States) but if you ever get a girl (or guy, whatever floats your boat) who expects and expects and does not know how to reciprocate, it is indicative of bad things to come.

Don't worry, johnnyc, you will have a blast. As others have said, don't be so nervous that you can't stop talking, particularly about yourself. Ask a couple of questions and be interested in the answers!

johnnyc

i hope it aint a bad omen that i dont remember the girl i hope she alright looking and has some sense of humor..not like her friend. anyway how am i suppose to get to know her when she brings her friend . the friend is one of these girls who will drink all night until you stop buying her drinks (sponger)

c - 13

The friend is more than likely only going to be there for the first hour or so. She's only being brought along so she wont be waiting around for you on her own and to help with the early conversation. After she see's that ye're getting on alright she should leave ye to your own devices.

Hester

johnnyc wrote:

i hope it aint a bad omen that i dont remember the girl i hope she alright looking and has some sense of humor..not like her friend. anyway how am i suppose to get to know her when she brings her friend . the friend is one of these girls who will drink all night until you stop buying her drinks (sponger)

This reminds me of my 1st "date". Like you, I'd met the person before but couldn't really remember what he looked like. We ended up going out for 2 years.

I can see how her friend being there would be awkward for you... Any chance you could take a friend as well?

hullaballoo

ionapaul wrote:

maybe I've been on more blind dates than you (went on a lot in the States) but if you ever get a girl (or guy, whatever floats your boat) who expects and expects and does not know how to reciprocate, it is indicative of bad things to come.

In Ireland, there's a custom that the man pays for everything until things get more long-term. It's extremely bad manners to suggest that a woman pays for a drink, or her own dinner/cinema although i'm just not sure how many people know that.

In fact, i think it would be a good thread starter--I often find myself gobsmacked by how many ignorant people there are when it comes to basic manners/chivalry.

johnnyc

the girl who set up this so called blind date i dont really know her that well anyway Defiantly bringing a friend...i have know prob getting a girl a drink but i hope she aint one of these free loaders that will ask for a double vodkas and red bulls that gets up my noise?

ionapaul

Well, that's not the custom in either Galway or Dublin in 2005 - where in Ireland does that custom exist? Oh yes, in Ireland circa 1950. I would never 'suggest' to a woman that she pays for a drink or two on a blind date...however, if she didn't even offer, as I mentioned above, I'd never have the trouble of meeting her again.

Basic manners =/= chivalry, for that matter. The two may overlap but are not the same thing. Maybe you should start that thread after all to enlighten the rest of us boors...

WhiteWashMan

well, i dont know what customs you people have, or what people youve been out with, but ive always found that when i go out with someone, they have always gone half and half, round for round.

jesus christ, talk about making your own life complicated.

listen, you want to go out and have fun and enjoy yourself and meet a nice girl.
easy, you got the girl part right. who knows yet if she is nice. you will learn on the date.
if you dont want to make a fool of yourself, then youre trying to hard. stop.
walking in front of a car, or perhaps calling her mother a skanky ho-bag, is making a fool of yourself.
being yourself and being silly and enjoying yourself is not being a fool. its called acting natural.
why do you think women like a guy that can make then laugh, becuase it appears more natural. you dont need to be gods gift to comedic timing, you just need to know not to go to far, and have a few handy conversation topics under your hat, other than 'crappy weather eh' or 'so, how about that roman abramovich and chelsea, eh?'

jesus, chill out and stop bloody worrying. im surprised you can get out of bed in the morning at all with all the worry you do!

johnnyc

i not that worried about the date i wish but whats the worst that can happen

WhiteWashMan

you could go to the toilet in your trousers?

you could meet your mother who is out on a date with some young austrian hunk?

you could learn the hard way that you go into anaphylactic shock when stung by a bee?

you could get lucky and take her home only for her to learn you didnt wash as closely as you should have when she is going down on you?

you could get hit and killed by a car?

she may be fat and ugly?

you may be fat and ugly?

oh heck, there are lots of worse case scenarios.

stop worrying. youll be dead a long time.

johnnyc

i love your positive attitude whitewashman

WhiteWashMan

well, im just pointing out that life could be far worse.

youre the one who is negative with regards to things going wrong on your date.

after all, most guys wash, and bring a spare condom, just in case.
thats the kinf of positive progressive thinking that will bring this great nation of our forward...

really, what is that you are worried about?

johnnyc

Especially when you get a girl a drink..u deserve some action after it i wish

WhiteWashMan

johnnyc wrote:

Especially when you get a girl a drink..u deserve some action after it i wish

easy tiger....

deserve?

what do you mean by deserve?

oyu think you buy a girl a drink then youre entitled to some action?

oh dear, you have far to go young grasshopper.


why not just get into a round with her and chat to her? i mean, is that too much to handle for one night, or do you just want to meet up with her and go straight to the hot bedroom action?

i mean, surely you want to know what to call her first?

johnnyc

i cannot handle my drink 4 pints and i am happy bad news for a men

johnnyc

sorry about my english i meant "man" instead of men

WhiteWashMan

happy bad news?
what does that mean?

johnnyc

hands up bad use of grammer ok what does it mean think brain ok happy part means that it saves me money when going out for a drink the bad part ok normally men can drink more than 4 pints