Girlfriends

Novocaine

Im 20 and I've never had a girlfriend. Should I be worried?

meditraitor

Novocaine wrote:

Im 20 and I've never had a girlfriend. Should I be worried?

Nah

Peace

Maybe. Depends..

Gordon

No you shouldn't.

Novocaine

Compared to other people its so bad i end up competing with 1 of me mates to see who has kissed more women. It helps forget our own inadequecies!

WhiteWashMan

no

kasintahan

you don't want one.

c - 13

Novocaine wrote:

Compared to other people its so bad i end up competing with 1 of me mates to see who has kissed more women. It helps forget our own inadequecies!

So your buddies are in the same situation aswell ??

And as to the origional question - No, I dont think so.

Altheus

No reason to be worried.

If you have a tendancy to vomit on women, or they have a tendancy to vomit on you, that'd be a problem.

Novocaine

Im not worried btw, i was just wondering. If there's one thing that turns off irish women it's self doubt.

Some days i might see a hot girl with this arrogant tosser and I'd be like, "I hate that guy!"

I went to a drama group a while ago to make myself more comfortable around girls and i really wanted to ask out this one I got on really well with but i decided not to in case she said no and i wouldnt have been able to go again because it just would have been awqard and bsides, i enjoyed myself there.

monkeyfudge

kasintahan wrote:

you don't want one.

This is true. They are seriously over-rated.

And I'm sure the same is also true of boyfriends...

ferdi

just turn into a bitter shrivled shell of a human being and forget all about happiness and the opposite sex, it works for me.*







*may not work for you

Novocaine

Ya think girls look differently at guys like me?

thebutlerdidit

From my point of view, that is, m/26/engaged, don't be in a hurry to have steady girlfriend. you find that the more people you talk to who are in the situation you desire to be in, wish they had taken more time about their decision. I love women, I think they are great. Always have. Your 20 now, enjoy the freedom that you have. Spend this time getting to know yourself ( in a different way than you did in your teens ;-) ) The early tweenties is a good time to discover and build your character. Spend time with your friends, and no doubt situations will arise for you to talk and interact with members of the opposite sex. You will meet girls along the way, some will be horrible, twisted people, but definitely not all of them. You know when someone is right for you, and your state of mind is a delicate thing, so don't waste time racking up the numbers, quality is always better than quantity. Believe me, I've been around, and if I could change it I wouldn't, for the simple fact that I wouldn't know today everything that I do if I hadn't. But I could have done without meeting some of the "girlfriends" I had.
All of the above means nothing if you are having doubts about your sexuallity, on that subject I am afraid I cannot advise, was something that I never had to deal with. But I'm sure that there are plenty of people here who may have...... play the cards as they are dealt, and remember women don't particullary want to be at the end of a long list.... (so abstain or lie )
Hope this waffle might help....

irlirishkev

I'm nearly 28 and I've only ever had one serious girlfriend. And it was when I was 21 or thereabouts.. I've had flings and 'adventures' with numerous girls since then but none I've clicked with enough to go out for any length of time with..
Don't worry about it. There are no rules suggesting how many girls you should have 'gone out with' by a certain age. Just go with the flow..

K.

WhiteWashMan

Novocaine wrote:

Ya think girls look differently at guys like me?

you mean the ones that have big neon signs that say - GIRLFRIEND VIRGIN HERE

no, i shouldnt think they notice....

The_Conductor

Reminds me of a joke that used do the rounds- about a guy in college who was worried about not having a girlfriend and decided he'd fill out a personals add looking for one. He got a shipload of replies, all from guys, all with the same response....... "You can have mine".......

The other one was a series of pictures of the most beautiful looking women in swimwear, with the caption "Regardless of how good she looks, there are X number of men who she has pissed the **** out who are thrilled to be rid of her".......

There is an element of the field being greener on the other side. People tend to want that which they do not have. Its a lot more difficult to get rid of girlfriends when you do have them. Enjoy your freedom, relax, take things easy, have fun. Life is too short to get hung up on things.

LadyJ

Don't be worried.
It's good to go out with someone you really like and not just any old yoke!
Take your time finding out what you like in a woman and don't be afraid to take chances with asking us girls out! Everyone faces rejection sometimes-it's good for us! Keeps us in our place! Teehee.
And look at it this way,if someone doesn't want you then why would you want them?
The girl who you like,who accepts your advances is the right one so keep trying!

Bottle_of_Smoke

Sh|t! just realised I'm 20 and never had either!

Doesn't matter though, have to wait for the right person as pointed out

Sarky

ferdi wrote:

just turn into a bitter shrivled shell of a human being and forget all about happiness and the opposite sex, it works for me.*




*may not work for you

The man speaks wisdom.

hullaballoo

Novocaine wrote:

Ya think girls look differently at guys like me?

What is a guy like you?

Surely if you went to a drama group and there was a girl there you like, you don't hafta ask her out straight away, go back a few times, see if you still get along, then say: "hey, why don't we go for a drink after drama?" or something along those lines....I've had a g/f for 3 years, can't remember what it's like to be single/have friends/have a life, but one thing I do remember is that the best fun you can have with a girl is when you're "courting" to use archaic language...what's the word...ah, "flirting".

I can say that most people who don't have many girlfriends are far better off, it usually means they have some standards and are waiting for a relationship that means something.

It also depends on whether you kiss a fcuk-load of girls or whatever, cos if that's the way it is then you're doing what most guys need to do at some stage--20 can be too young for serious relationships.

LadyJ

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote:

Sh|t! just realised I'm 20 and never had either!

Doesn't matter though, have to wait for the right person as pointed out

Excellent! Bottle_of_smoke is a classic example in this case.
He's a good-looking guy and sound too but has never had a gf. There's nothing wrong with him and there's nothing wrong with you either OP.
Just hang on in there!

hullaballoo

LadyJ wrote:

He's a good-looking guy and sound too but has never had a gf.

Nothing to do with looks

i was ugly when i started going out with my gf, and went out with loads of other girls beforehand (One of whom actually said "i'm only going out with you cos i didn't think i'd get [my best mate], but i'm glad now"

has more to do with how you approach women. be relaxed/don't care whether they're attracted to you, just make them attracted to you (try not to use force though, that one didn't go too well!)

good-looking or not, you can be the most attractive guy in a woman's eyes if you go about it the right way (start with thinking you're great..or something along those lines) and things will fall into place

LadyJ

hullaballoo wrote:

Nothing to do with looks

i was ugly when i started going out with my gf, and went out with loads of other girls beforehand (One of whom actually said "i'm only going out with you cos i didn't think i'd get [my best mate], but i'm glad now"

has more to do with how you approach women. be relaxed/don't care whether they're attracted to you, just make them attracted to you (try not to use force though, that one didn't go too well!)

good-looking or not, you can be the most attractive guy in a woman's eyes if you go about it the right way (start with thinking you're great..or something along those lines) and things will fall into place

Oh I totally agree! That was my point actually!
It doesn't matter how you look at all,even the best looking people have trouble with finding partners. It's about finding someone who likes you for you

WhiteWashMan

LadyJ wrote:

It doesn't matter how you look at all,even the best looking people have trouble with finding partners. It's about finding someone who likes you for you

now thats not true.

i have never ever had a problem
but i do have much more than good looks and a great personality to rely on

Gordon

LadyJ wrote:

Oh I totally agree! That was my point actually!
It doesn't matter how you look at all,even the best looking people have trouble with finding partners. It's about finding someone who likes you for you

So many people say this yet never go out with ugly people in my experience.

Chucky

monkeyfudge wrote:

This is true. They are seriously over-rated.

And I'm sure the same is also true of boyfriends...

Maybe you just don't know how to treat a girl properly...

LadyJ

Gordon wrote:

So many people say this yet never go out with ugly people in my experience.

True. People can be very shallow but why would you want to be with someone who was like that?
Tbh,in my experience and imo,it's all to do with what you really love about a person and what turns you on. You need both. But what tuns a person on is not necessarily a physical attraction.
Everyone has the potential to be loved by someone else. It just takes time I suppose.

[InsertHandle]

I'm sorry to say OP that u are normal

There is a small group of oddballs that always seem to be in relationships. these ppl control the media and so have managed to brainwash everyone into thinking that normality is constantly having a steady gf.

WhiteWashMan

LadyJ wrote:

True. People can be very shallow but why would you want to be with someone who was like that?
Tbh,in my experience and imo,it's all to do with what you really love about a person and what turns you on. You need both. But what tuns a person on is not necessarily a physical attraction.
Everyone has the potential to be loved by someone else. It just takes time I suppose.

what a load of twaddle.

why would you be with someone who wasnt physically attractive, unless you cant get someone.

only fat and ugly people use this shallow crap to try and guilt trip people into believing that fat and ugly people areally are fanciable.

Victor

WWM, can you be slightly more positive? Constructive? Less patronising?

why would you be with someone who wasnt physically attractive

Because you might actually like them as a human being?

goin'_to_the_PS

confidence...get some, but other than that don't worry

LadyJ

WhiteWashMan wrote:

what a load of twaddle.

why would you be with someone who wasnt physically attractive, unless you cant get someone.

only fat and ugly people use this shallow crap to try and guilt trip people into believing that fat and ugly people areally are fanciable.

All I meant was,beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's about the little things that do it for ya. Christ,my ex was hot as **** but it was his Jarvis Cocker impression that made him sexy!
You can be sexy without being hot.

Chucky

WhiteWashMan wrote:

what a load of twaddle.

why would you be with someone who wasnt physically attractive, unless you cant get someone.

only fat and ugly people use this shallow crap to try and guilt trip people into believing that fat and ugly people areally are fanciable.

I can't believe you actually feel this way WhiteWashMan. You are just ignorant of the way other people live their lives. I mean, not everyone bases things on how they look.

I would like someone to define what ugly is in any case, because for me I see beauty in every woman that I pass on the street.

Neverends

No way, when I was in college lots of my guy friends never went out with anyone. Now they're all married to really nice women who snapped them up as soon as they went out in the world. I definitely don't think its a negative thing from a woman's POV, it can imply that a guy is more picky and increase his appeal.

Draupnir

WhiteWashMan wrote:

what a load of twaddle.

why would you be with someone who wasnt physically attractive, unless you cant get someone.

only fat and ugly people use this shallow crap to try and guilt trip people into believing that fat and ugly people areally are fanciable.

i agree, i went out with this girl last summer who was probably the most fun, interesting girl ive ever dated. but she was fat. i had to dump her in the end cos i felt embarrassed walking around with her.

shameful I know, but sometimes ya gotta be honest with yourself.

thats totally off topic though, on topic, i wouldnt worry about not having a girlfriend, its only really good for the first two months, then ya tend to get bored and fancy a new one anyway. plus, being single is a lot more fun at 20.

0utshined

Draupnir wrote:

i agree, i went out with this girl last summer who was probably the most fun, interesting girl ive ever dated. but she was fat. i had to dump her in the end cos i felt embarrassed walking around with her.

What were you embarrassed about? Do you really value strangers opinions that much?

snorlax

don't worry so much, it's quality no quantity, one person who's right for you is better then 10 failed relationships.

im not going out with anyone at the moment but some of my friends are, but to be honest none of them seem any happier then me. Iv also found that when your actually happy being single you actually become more attractive to the opposite sex. 20 is very young anyhow, you'v got the rest of your life to look froward to so don't dwell on it!

OfflerCrocGod

Novocaine wrote:

Im 20 and I've never had a girlfriend. Should I be worried?

I'm going on 22 and I've never had....anything. No I dont see that it's such a big issue, I'd say sex is overrated.

WhiteWashMan

Victor wrote:

WWM, can you be slightly more positive? Constructive? Less patronising?

no victor. you care to post less crap on boards.ie? didnt think so.
last time i heard this was a board for discussion, not for the hippy love club to huggle each other and feel all fluffy.
while as 'moderator' of this board, you can ban me for being insulting to people and being racists and going off topic, you cant ban me for giving a valid opinon. besides, one mans positive, less patronising and positive post, is another mans load of rubbish. you should know who subjective it is.

or do you feel personally attacked?

Victor wrote:

Because you might actually like them as a human being?

who says i dont, i just wouldnt want them as my girlfriend. and just becuase someone is a saint in personality, does that mean i have to go out with them?

besides, who are you to tell me what my criteria for a partner are? i dont tell you that you have to go out with people with lovely cutesy personalities.

Chucky wrote:

I can't believe you actually feel this way WhiteWashMan. You are just ignorant of the way other people live their lives. I mean, not everyone bases things on how they look.

no, i am in touch with what i want out of a partner. i am aware that not everyone bases things on how i look. i havent told you how to do it, so i am not sure you can turn to me and tell me im ignorant of of other peoples lives.

if you want to go out withsomeone who is fat, then dont. i just have extra criteria that you dont have.

Chucky wrote:

I would like someone to define what ugly is in any case, because for me I see beauty in every woman that I pass on the street.

and thats great for you.

as it was said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder....

LadyJ wrote:

All I meant was,beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's about the little things that do it for ya. Christ,my ex was hot as **** but it was his Jarvis Cocker impression that made him sexy!

i dont think a jarvis cocker impression can redeem anyone, but thats a personal thing

everyone seems to think that i am saying that people only go for models with personalities like mother teresa. i didnt.

fact is that most people will not admit it, but they would prefer to go out with someone from a slydice special thread. hell, why do you think there is a slydice special? becuase people find fat ugly people attractive?
no.
the way i see it though, is that its fat or ugly people thqat go around making up rubbish about how personality is what counts. its personality that you should base your relationship on, and if you dont do that, then youre shallow.
well, sorry, but i base my relationships on many other criteria than personality.
in fact, i want a great personality, a great body, beauty, money, and many more things in the person i date. why?
because thats what i want. i want someone im attracted to physcially, someone who does not bum all your money away, someone who looks good and is confident in themselves.
i dont want some fat ugly person why is constantly depressed because they dont like the body they or the face they have, who is not happy going out.

and no, i wouldnt go out with a fat ugly person who is happy with themselves either. i just dont find it attractive.

am i shallow?
hell no. just because i know what i want, makes me the opposite of shallow.

unless your definition of shallow happens to be 'a person who knows what they wants, but unfortunately it excludes quite a few people becuase they have more criteria for selection'


you may notice however, that i havent said 'standards' at all?
becasue its entirely subjective. i dont say what makes someone ugly, and i dont put a 'level' on the fat.

but hey, if people want to go out and pick a partner with less criteria, you go right ahead. me, i manage to lead a perfectly happy life.

thebutlerdidit

OfflerCrocGod wrote:

I'm going on 22 and I've never had....anything. No I dont see that it's such a big issue, I'd say sex is overrated.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

embee

thebutlerdidit wrote:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Wow, thats helpful.

Original poster - it doesn't matter that you haven't had a girlfriend. If you're happy with being single and aren't in any rush to find a girlfriend, you're sorted. Girlfriends can be headwreckers anyways.

snorlax

posed originally by embee

Girlfriends can be headwreckers anyways.

ah wer'e not all that bad , it's finding a quality one though that's hard enough id say for both fellas and girls!

and hopefully someone that dosn't offer such insightful comments as the one below :eek: !:


Quote:

Originally Posted by thebutlerdidit

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

CathyMoran

I really do not see the harm of not having dated at 20. I first dated someone when I was 17 but then did not date someone else until I was 20, then waited 3 years before dating anyone else...those 3 years when I deliberatly concenrated on college were some of the happiest years of my life...relationships can be headwreakers, especially in the first few months. One of the nicest guys I knew did not start dating until he was 21, though most girls were crazy over him.

I am sure that the OP will have no problem getting a date, it is always confusing reading the signs at first.

In terms of looks issue which was touched on I do not think that looks matter when it comes down to it in the end, everyone will get old, people change, real beauty shows from the personality behind a face...I must admit that when I was younger I was very set on not dating guys who were less than 6ft tall and I did like skinny guys in the past...then at 23 I fell head over heals in love with a guy who was 5ft 11, well built and a red-head...for me the most important trait is kindness, looks are nice, but they do not last...

snorlax

CathyMoran wrote:

looks are nice, but they do not last...

very true!

r3boot

Summary:

• Don't worry you'll get there evetually.
• When you do you will regret it.
• Its never as good as you imagined it to be, betterin some places and worse in others.
• you're not the only one with the problem.

Gordon

thebutlerdidit wrote:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Not helpful advice. Another post like that will get you a banning.

hullaballoo

r3boot wrote:

Summary:

• Don't worry you'll get there evetually.
• When you do you will regret it.
• Its never as good as you imagined it to be, betterin some places and worse in others.
• you're not the only one with the problem.

perfect.

--Kaiser--

To the OP, I wouldn't worry about that at all, girlfriends can be overrated, unless you find the right girl...

..And in defense of WWMan, i wouldn't be able to go out with somone i didn't think was really hot, and certainly not someone who is overweight, I look after my body, I don't see why I should accept anything less of a partner

pretty-in-pink

I wouldn't go out with someone I don't fancy...I tried it, to be nice, cause they were sound etc, but I just didn't feel it. I go for kind of sporty guys, you know toned etc. I don't fancy either skinny or fat guys, and its rare for me to fancy a non-sporty guy. I want someone strong and sexy and funny and sweet. However most people who admit that "hey looks are pretty important" get given out to....however its not just look I go after at any rate. They are meerly part of the package.

To the OP, if you are some way good-looking, and a nice guy- and confident you should be fine. don't worry about when you start the whole monogamy thing. Everyone is different......I'm ok doing it now, but if we ever broke up, I reckon I'd have to be single for a while. When its right...its right. don't worry about it, just let things happen.

Incidentley, what do you look like?

Bottle_of_Smoke

snorlax wrote:

very true!

that's why we trade in for younger models!