in love

helpme · 04-05-2005 10:40AM #1

ok here is the dilema.I started meeting and texting this girl, and i really really like her. the problem is she is in a long distance relationship. she is head over heels about this guy. The thing is im falling in love with her fast. and i would treat her alot better than the fella she is with now. plus i would be around more to help her out with things. i just dont know wheather i should tell her how i feel because it might jeapordise our relationship at the minute.

can anyone give me some advise on what to do. i realy really really love this girl

tk123 · 04-05-2005 10:44AM

tell her!

c - 13 · 04-05-2005 10:45AM

Well she cant be too head over heels over him if she is seeing you on the side can she ? Could you elaborate on what your "relationship" with the said girl is ?

Zulu · 04-05-2005 10:46AM

How old are you?

Beruthiel · 04-05-2005 10:46AM

helpme wrote:

she is in a long distance relationship. she is head over heels about this guy

does this not tell you something?

The Bollox · 04-05-2005 10:46AM

I think you should be subtle, lay down a hint or two, and if she takes the bait get in there, if not atleast you won't have made a fool of yourself and you two should still be friends, provided it was subtle hints and not 12 red roses or something like that

helpme · 04-05-2005 11:12AM

c - 13 wrote:

Well she cant be too head over heels over him if she is seeing you on the side can she ? Could you elaborate on what your "relationship" with the said girl is ?

the relation ship is just txting and going out on the odd night. but nuthing else. (no kissing or anything like that.

IM 21

*Sassy* · 04-05-2005 11:14AM

I'm a girl in a long distance relationship and I'm mad about my boyfriend. I think you are lining yourself up to get hurt if you pursue this girl.

She may be lonely and missing her bloke so if anything did happen between you I think it would be a mistake on her part that she may end up regretting. Even if she was seeing you on the side she would drop you for him every time.

Don't go there, that's my honest opinion going by how I think I would be in that situation.

Maybe drop a few hints as suggested, but be prepared for her to run a mile. Also, if she does the opposite be aware that her judgement will be seriously impaired due to the stress and associated emotional rollercoaster of a long distance relationship!

Not a good idea IMO.

helpme · 04-05-2005 11:15AM

Marts wrote:

I think you should be subtle, lay down a hint or two, and if she takes the bait get in there, if not atleast you won't have made a fool of yourself and you two should still be friends, provided it was subtle hints and not 12 red roses or something like that

good advise!!!

what sort of subtle hint would you suggest

helpme · 04-05-2005 11:18AM

*Sassy* wrote:

I'm a girl in a long distance relationship and I'm mad about my boyfriend. I think you are lining yourself up to get hurt if you pursue this girl.

She may be lonely and missing her bloke so if anything did happen between you I think it would be a mistake on her part that she may end up regretting. Even if she was seeing you on the side she would drop you for him every time.

Don't go there, that's my honest opinion going by how I think I would be in that situation.

Maybe drop a few hints as suggested, but be prepared for her to run a mile. Also, if she does the opposite be aware that her judgement will be seriously impaired due to the stress and associated emotional rollercoaster of a long distance relationship!

Not a good idea IMO.

again good advice (not the type i was hoping for but what can you do)

any advice on what sort of hints

Sherifu · 04-05-2005 11:24AM

@helpme

advise /= advice

Beruthiel · 04-05-2005 11:32AM

rkm
read this forums charter
B

Tobias Greeshman · 04-05-2005 11:33AM

rkm wrote:

@helpme

advise /= advice

Oh come on, this isn't an english lang forum.

OP, as regards subtle hints, looking at her longer than usual (eye contact I mean here), constantly smiling at her, Pay her a few compliments as well maybe (but keep them innocent enough!).

helpme · 04-05-2005 11:37AM

silas wrote:

Oh come on, this isn't an english lang forum.

OP, as regards subtle hints, looking at her longer than usual (eye contact I mean here), constantly smiling at her, Pay her a few compliments as well maybe (but keep them innocent enough!).

thanks thats sounds good.

aanyone else gott sumthing?

any more adviCe

thsi is good ppl im gettiing good feedback cheers

tinkerbell · 04-05-2005 11:46AM

If she's as "head over heels" for her boyfriend as you say she is, then you probably don't have a chance at all. I'd say it's probably 99.9% likely that she only thinks of you as a good friend.

Be prepared for the fall, I very much doubt it's gonna go the way you want it to go.

LegacyUser · 04-05-2005 11:49AM

Leave the other guys girl alone. MY girlfriend is about to move away. If i knew some bloke like you was trying it on with her fully knowing that she was in a relationship i would be over to you to pay a little visit. What part of shes in a relationship do you not understand.

Stay clear

Beruthiel · 04-05-2005 11:53AM

tinkerbell wrote:

Be prepared for the fall, I very much doubt it's gonna go the way you want it to go.

I'd be of the same opinion

The Bollox · 04-05-2005 11:59AM

I agree with Silas

btw, just curious, but do you two meet up often? or is it mainly txt conversations?

helpme · 04-05-2005 12:00PM

tinkerbell wrote:

If she's as "head over heels" for her boyfriend as you say she is, then you probably don't have a chance at all. I'd say it's probably 99.9% likely that she only thinks of you as a good friend.

Be prepared for the fall, I very much doubt it's gonna go the way you want it to go.

oh im ready for the fall. i just want to know how to find out how to check out the situation.

im mad abouth this girl

Tobias Greeshman · 04-05-2005 12:10PM

helpme wrote:

oh im ready for the fall. i just want to know how to find out how to check out the situation.

im mad abouth this girl

Yes you obviously are, but perhaps it would be best to cut off ties with her temporarily (I know I just gave you advice on how to give her subtle hints about your feelings), If she's really as head over heals in love with her bf, then she's already just put you onto the friend ladder (ladder theory).

You may love her, but there's a strong likelihood that its one-sided and that you should not force that unnecessary hurt upon yourself. Perhaps just turn your friendship to just text messages (for a while) and dont meet her for a while, then you can keep her in your life.

LegacyUser · 04-05-2005 12:15PM

not saying you don't really fancy this girl, but sounds like a clasic case of, you want what you can't have.

she has a boyfriend, find your own girlfriend.

Zulu · 04-05-2005 12:18PM

paperclip wrote:

find your own girlfriend.

Do you think perhaps thats what he's trying to do? :rolleyes:

...some people...

tinkerbell · 04-05-2005 12:20PM

Okay, well how about you do this then.

Next time you are talking to her, ask her about her boyfriend, and how it's going for them. If she replies with "oh he's wonderful, I love him so much, blah blah", well then you keep your mouth shut.

If she says "oh he's wonderful, but it's hard without seeing him a lot, but I love him so much", well you still keep your mouth shut.

If she says "oh it's a total disaster, I'm looking for an excuse to break up with him", well then MAYBE you say something to her. Even then, she might only still think of you as a friend.

As paperclip said, she has a bf, you need to find your own lover who isn't attached.

helpme · 04-05-2005 12:48PM

trust me i have tried. but the job i do is very hard on relationships and trying to find someone serious about a relationship.

LegacyUser · 04-05-2005 01:05PM

He doesnt really love her. A large part of love is respect. He doesnt respect the fact that she is in a relationship.

Mate go find someone else, she is a Friend

Gordon · 04-05-2005 01:17PM

helpme wrote:

trust me i have tried. but the job i do is very hard on relationships and trying to find someone serious about a relationship.

Why, out of sheer nosiness?

Is it the working hours?

LegacyUser · 04-05-2005 01:17PM

helpme wrote:

trust me i have tried. but the job i do is very hard on relationships and trying to find someone serious about a relationship.

So why do you think you will be a better boyfriend then

"i would treat her alot better than the fella she is with now. plus i would be around more to help her out with thing,"

Mate seriously, for you to get the notion that she is head over heals about this guy than you should take it that you are her "Friend", sorry buddy

helpme · 04-05-2005 01:29PM

im a dj.

and yeas i would be around all weekday nights its on friday and saturday i would work and i take every few weekends off.

Zulu · 04-05-2005 01:37PM

helpme wrote:

im a dj.

and yeas i would be around all weekday nights its on friday and saturday i would work and i take every few weekends off.

....so when she's finished her working week and ready to go out, you're working.

helpme · 04-05-2005 01:54PM

this is not about my working scheduale ppl.

tinkerbell · 04-05-2005 02:30PM

*sigh*

You can't MAKE someone love you. If she's madly in love with her boyfriend, then you have no chance, full stop.

I am madly in love with my boyfriend and all my friends know it. If one of my male friends told me that he wanted me, then I would be VERY VERY pissed off because:
(a) he knows how I feel about my bf
(b) he knows how I feel about my bf
(c) he knows how I feel about my bf, and there is no hope in hell that I would go for anyone else.
Not only would I be extremely pissed off about it, but I would probably distance myself from that person, because if you know that someone is insanely in love with someone else, then you just don't try and cross that line.

So I imagine that she would also be very pissed off with you for trying to break up her blissfully happy relationship with her boyfriend.

So you need to move on. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

in love

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