cheating

smeee

I'm thinking of cheating on my wife whom I have been married to for 17yrs.
We have a great sex life, we comunicate well with each other but I just want to know what it would be like to be with someone else. I have it all set up. I even have the person that I'm going to do the deed with. I met her on the internet and she's up for it.... Am I stupid

Trojan

What exactly is your motivation here?

Gilgamesh

to your question, yes, you are stupid,

you have a life what you seem to like and you are going to Foock it u, sorry but imho I would consider you an idiot.

Why don't you ask your wife and see what she thinks of it, if you want an honest opinion?

just think if you catch somethign from sleeping with another, and you pass it on to your wife, what then

Sleepy

Yes.

My Dad had an affair with another woman for over 4 years. He's still with her but he's now in the process of a divorce which will leave him heavily in debt while my mother gets the house. My sister barely speaks to him and while I'll always love him because he's my father, I've a lot less respect for him than I did 6 years ago.

If that sounds like a nice place to be, by all means go for it, but don't say you haven't been warned.

Keyzer

You are a fool...

seamus

What is lacking, that you feel you need another woman for? Are you bored? Do you not enjoy sex with your wife?

1. You're going to get caught
2. You're going to feel like a complete tosser when the deed is done.

smeee

mmmm never thought of that. I suppose I am just being selfish.

KlodaX

We have a great sex life, we comunicate well with each other but I just want to know what it would be like to be with someone else.

its gonna be hard to top 17 years of good sex and communication. Would be a shame to throw it away like that.

I think you just want people to tell you no. No.

Beruthiel

smeee wrote:

Am I stupid

very
but you know that already

funny how the grass is always greener,
till you get there....

Trojan

smeee wrote:

we comunicate well with each other

smeee wrote:

I couldn't turn the telly off... I'd have to talk to the wife

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=2666447&postcount=11

Gilgamesh

funny, people who want to have an affair normally don't think of that.

My parents went through a really bad breakup after my Dad had an affair,
IT STARTED 8 YEARS AGO !!!!! and the aftershocks are still there especially for younger sister who is now 15 and in constant crossfire

KlodaX

why don't ye role play ... dress your wife up the way you want *she gets to do the same for you!* meet randomly in a bar and act as different people. Each have a character that suits the clothes and pretend not to know each other.

Its a healthy alternative.

c - 13

Have you considered talking to your wife first and tell here how you feel about your sex life (not about you considering cheating obviously), maybe there is simply something lacking that you could sort out ? Maybe she doesnt know how you feel about your sex life ? Maybe i'm missing the point here totally ?

Anyway i think you might be better off talking to your wife first before throwing yourself in at the deep end - i mean imagine if she found out ?

dudara

From experience, cheating is a bitter thing for everyone involved.

don't you consider yourself lucky to be still having good sex after 17 years of marriage.

Cop yourself on, and appreciate what you have

Glipmac

Listen man, it is not worth it the truth will out! (Reminds me of the film PHONEBOOTH) if you havent seen it watch it it may help, but i digress if you have been happy for 17 years don't throw it away so easily try to spice up your relationship with role play (you go to a bar, meet up with your wife as if you are meetin for the first time and go from there)

Glip :cool:

Rossonero

It's feel sorry for you.........cos you're blind to see the problems you'd face, and haven't had the morals, ethics, honour or self respect to have already realised that you shouldn't take it any further with this internet girl.

Repli

If you have children then yes, you are stupid to even be thinking about it

dudara

cos you're blind to see the problems you'd face, and haven't had the morals, ethics, honour or self respect

my sentiments exactly. This is what I also thought of a partner, after I'd found he'd cheated on me.

smeee

Ok .... It was stupid of me to even think about throwing away everything I have.... I think I will have to have a long chat with my wife..

Bottle_of_Smoke

do you love your wife? might seem like a silly question but if you're even considering this you probably don't

Dreamcatcher

smeee wrote:

I have it all set up. I even have the person that I'm going to do the deed with. I met her on the internet and she's up for it.... Am I stupid

Don't do it. Think about it in terms of cause and effect.
If you're bored with your marriage, address that problem first. Cheating/having an affair will only complicate matters.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
If you can't be bothered working things out with your wife, then the marriage is heading for trouble anyway.
Do you love her?
TALK to her. Ask her how she feels about the sex-life and then you can tell her how you feel, suggest to spice things up a bit, or whatever.

To be blunt, imo you are being both very selfish and a coward if you go through with this.

Trojan

Wow, talk about fickle.

Lex_Diamonds

Get a hooker on holiday or something, youll get the release you seek with MUCH less chance of the **** hitting the fan.

WhiteWashMan

next time you have sex, call her by another name.

it will give you a taste of what you will have to face if you actually did do something.

The Corinthian

smeee wrote:

I'm thinking of cheating on my wife whom I have been married to for 17yrs.
We have a great sex life, we comunicate well with each other but I just want to know what it would be like to be with someone else. I have it all set up. I even have the person that I'm going to do the deed with. I met her on the internet and she's up for it.... Am I stupid

Might I suggest you approach the topic with your wife? It is not inconceivable that she may understand that you’re curious to play away or she may be interested in doing likewise or even be curious in another woman also. Of course, if you reckon that broaching the subject would result in a major row, perhaps honesty may not be the best policy. It’ll also make her permanently suspicious regardless of whatever you do.

As for a fling, you may get caught. Chances are, unless you are a complete idiot or very unlucky, you won’t. If you have a full-blown affair, the chances become higher (apart from the added emotional complications). The longer it continues, the higher these chances become.

Ultimately if you think it’s worth the risk, then for you it is as long as you’re prudent. Otherwise don’t do it.

[InsertHandle]

Lex_Diamonds wrote:

Get a hooker on holiday or something, youll get the release you seek with MUCH less chance of the **** hitting the fan.

and if your really lucky you'll catch a nice little STI which you can then pass on to your wife and you'll both live happily ever after without any **** ever having hit the fan

Nuttzz

smeee wrote:

I met her on the internet and she's up for it.... Am I stupid

The pictures she sent you are fake.....


This sounds like either 40+ male meeting a 18-20 female who is looking for a sugar daddy and will end up "confronting your wife" or a 40+ male meeting meeting a woman of his own age how will no doubt have more baggage than samsonite and will end up "confronting your wife". Considering you met her on the net and not in person yet, you couldnt rule out her being a "bunny boiler" either

Sleepy

Just to add to my post earlier. My Dad's affair happened because he fell in love with someone else. That, to my mind is understandable. I've left relationships because I've fallen for someone else myself (sure, they weren't marriages but the basic human emotions are the same). If my parents marriage had ended because my father was selfish enough to have had the affair "just to see what it was like to cheat on someone", I don't think I'd be so forgiving and tbh I'd find it very difficult to speak to him.

BEAT

to answer your orginal question, yes you are stupid.

you know what I think would be great, I mean outstanding? if your wife was this girl you met on the internet setting you up,
I htink it would be phenominal if you went to meet this girl and it turned out to be your wife, hahaha oh man I'd love to see a video of that one.

If you want to know what it is like to be with other women then divorce your wife now and give her a chance to find a man who wants to be with her while you go on your midlife crisis skirt chase.

btw, I dont believe this poster was real or serious but I answered as if it were not posted by a troll anyway

BaZmO*

seamus wrote:

1. You're going to get caught
2. You're going to feel like a complete tosser when the deed is done.

How do you know this?

B.

BaZmO*

BEAT wrote:

btw, I dont believe this poster was real or serious but I answered as if it were not posted by a troll anyway

Yeah, I'd be inclined to agree. I don't believe the post is real either. Apart from the fact that he sounds like a 17 year old, why would you register for something as serious as this giving your location and also reply in such a flippant way about your wife in another thread?

B.

Beruthiel

let's keep it on topic Baz
b

BaZmO*

Beruthiel wrote:

let's keep it on topic Baz
b

Fair enough, but I thought it was a valid point.

B.

Alana

Not worth it, been there done that.

If ye are having great sex and its going good-why?as a previous poster said try role play, as for calling her another persons name in bed-make sure she knows first otherwise I can c a black eye or two resulting from it Well I know i'd batter anyone i was sleeping with if they called out a different name in the throes of passion...

I've been cheated on, cheated (much to my immense shame, sadness and self hatred), and been at the rough end of an affair in the family.

If you've been cheated on and you find out you feel like crap, unwanted, used and you hate the person for causing you so much pain. You'll also feel like a flippin idiot, that you believed in someone, trusted them and loved them...and then theres the potential for some violent retaliation-however mine just came in the form of destroying everything that he gave me..however i know of a girl who kicked a guy repeatedly in the crotch...then again she was 19, but hey.

As for the cheating thing, curiousity is a killer. yes after 17 years I would begin to wonder, hell I didn't even last 2 years with an ex...but for the moment of "oh my god this is different"...to the feeling you have afterwards...guilt, that feeling in the bottom of your stomach, knowing that they don't have a f*cking clue and still look at you adoringly, part of you may feel smug, but i can bloody assure you its a teeny tiny part (if even) in comparison to the guilt and the fear-that little part inside of you that's looking over your shoulder all the time...remember Ireland is a very very small place...


If the sex is so great with your wife, and you love her why? Do ye have kids?Believe there's a whole load of mental head wrecking that could ensue, fights etc, not only will your wife not trust you but neither will your kids, and then there are all the relations and long term friends ye av made over the years... and some lovely psych bills you might have to fork out for your kids.... rather expensive at times.

Cop on.

If you've got it good, don't f*ck it up. If you want to explore do it on your own time, break up with your wife, yes it would be nice and exciting but it's not fair-what if the shoe were on the other foot and she wanted and affair....?

Don't have your cake and eat it.

LadyJ

Are you seriously thinking about doing this with some randomer from the net???
I say go for it. You've already disrespected your wife enough by setting the whole thing up! If you loved her at all then you certainly wouldn't have planned this whole thing! Accidents happen but premeditated cheating is just pants! You might aswell do it because you seem to want it enough.
However,NO don't do it!

elivsvonchiaing

WhiteWashMan wrote:

next time you have sex, call her by another name.

it will give you a taste of what you will have to face if you actually did do something.

It will probably be as bad as if she catches you buck naked with the other woman- don't do this!

It sounds like you still love her. You had expectations she'd always be a 22 y/o or something... and failed to fulfill them - grow up and think of the consequences... you can shag the bit on the side and ruin your marriage (give issues to your kids...) - or you can accept that if love is still there - it has to be salvaged!

Body type change is worst reason for this sort of thing.... but real change is possible when this "attitude" is prolonged - until you have a completely loveless marriage - then it's over!

Thinking with yer dick is not an option here - think finance - and kids - and what you once had together - can it be salvaged? work that out pal!

Just don't let sex be the decider! I survived lets just say ... a while without it...

idontknowmyname

utterly stupid....my dad had an affair a few years back, my mum was devastated now i found out he's meeting women off the internet....its destroyed my family and I will never speak to him again. You're playing with fire and you deserve all that you get

fischerspooner

well fair enough OP I was in a similar situation once. I was in love, having great sex, but I was young and felt like I needed to be with more women, purely sexually, as I hadn't been with many at all. So I did it. On occasions when I knew it was 100% that I wouldnt' be caught I took the opportunity. Did I feel guilty? A tiny bit, for a tiny amount of time. But at the end of the day, what she didn't know didn't hurt her. I loved her with all my heart and would die for her even now. We broke up because I had to move 1000s of miles away and we eventually lost touch. But I don't think it's a reflection of the relationship with your wife, it's just you wanting to bang other chicks, exactly the way it was with me. And it wont even be that great, it'll be like beating off to a porno mag when your wife is out, not much more of a thrill. So if you're 100% sure of not getting caught and sure you wont feel guilty, why not do it?

Shabadu

Ficherspooner- great band, bizarre post.

Firstly you are comparing a relationship you had with a girl and then moved away from, to thatn of a couple that have been married 17 years.

She.will.find.out.

It is not like looking at porn, it is an interaction with another person, which adds a whole new variable. Someone with their own wants and desires.

You can't equate guilt you had in a, let's face it, not very serious relationship, and the guilt you would feel betraying your life partner.

The Corinthian

Shabadu wrote:

She.will.find.out.

Why.will.she.find.out?

Shabadu

If this guy is seriously posting on a bulletin board about his cheating plans, and met the woman on-line, you can be fairly sure he'll leave other trails as well.

Also- hard to hide things from someone you have a 'healthy' relationship and active sex life for the last 17 years.

It's going to sound mean, but frankly I don't credit him with the intellegence to pull off a hidden affair.

Victor

The Corinthian wrote:

Why.will.she.find.out?

Because.men.are.stupid.

TBH http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093010/

And whats to say your internet friend isn't a 53 year old male Canadian?

StupidLikeAFox

Hey if he just wants a bit of rough why not? If he can cheat once or twice, get away with it, and leave it at that well everybody wins.

When he begins to want more and more, or starts having feelings for his new lover, then he'll be a bit ****ed, and if he does feel guilty after the first time well he wont be doing it again. As long as he knows the risks and is willing to take it, the world is your oyster chum

Shabadu

Col, aren't you under 18? Wait until your brain can fathom marriage before posting such crap. Don't vindicate his irresponsibilty through the lens of being a teenager. She's his wife, not some girl he feels up behind the garage at the weekend.

Victor

Attack the post, not the poster.

Shabadu

Victor wrote:

Attack the post, not the poster.

Ok I'll do over. I don't actually dislike ColHol or anything, this post just really pissed me off as it is so puerile.

ColHol wrote:

Hey if he just wants a bit of rough why not? If he can cheat once or twice, get away with it, and leave it at that well everybody wins.

Not his wife. This makes a mockery of the vows he made to her. He is violating the trust of the most important person in his life.

When he begins to want more and more, or starts having feelings for his new lover, then he'll be a bit ****ed, and if he does feel guilty after the first time well he wont be doing it again. As long as he knows the risks and is willing to take it, the world is your oyster chum

So if I'm willing to take the risk of being caught I'm perfectly entitled to go shoot a baby? Great!

If he wants to have the world as his oyster he should leave his wife and then pursue what he wants.

Zombrex

Am I the only one that thinks this is a troll

:rolleyes:

Shabadu

Wicknight wrote:

Am I the only one that thinks this is a troll

:rolleyes:

No- but the notion of cheating is a heated one.

The Corinthian

Shabadu wrote:

If this guy is seriously posting on a bulletin board about his cheating plans, and met the woman on-line, you can be fairly sure he'll leave other trails as well.

Also- hard to hide things from someone you have a 'healthy' relationship and active sex life for the last 17 years.

It's going to sound mean, but frankly I don't credit him with the intellegence to pull off a hidden affair.

In that context I'd agree with you - I was only questioning the dogmatic nature of your original statement.

elivsvonchiaing

Think someone should alert the guy to the fact that his penis has made these posts...

...Well it sure looks that way...

smeee

I am not a teenager and my post was real. I am not saying wheter or not I carried out my wicked deed but I have to say one or two of the replys that I got were realy helpful. (thanks Page). The rest were utter crap and in no way offered any advice, which is if you remember what I was originaly looking for.
I have never come across such narrow minded people in all my life. Ok if what I was planing was stupid there was no need for the crap that some of ye posted