I hate Dan Brown

carpocrates

I know, I know, it could be I'm flogging a dead horse here, but honestly, the books aren't that bad, but also.. THEY'RE NOT THAT GOOD!
Sweet mercy, am I alone here?

lordgoat

no, no you are not

deedee lepoopoo

The Da Vinci Code is addictive but I was bitterly disappointed with the rushed ending, on that strength (or weakness as it were) I wouldn't read any of his other books.

simu

Me too! I hate that a small number of not very talented authors get do much attention. Waste of brain-power!

theCzar

*choking on rage*

I hate him the most! you guys are fans by comparison...

Tobias Greeshman

deedee lepoopoo wrote:

The Da Vinci Code is addictive but I was bitterly disappointed with the rushed ending

Have to agree, here it ended abruptly and too quickly, may work for a film but not in a book like this.

Haven't read any of his other books, but he wouldn't be an author that I would regard as really standing out. Apart from all the anti-christian stuff with the da vinci code, how really good was it, okayish but a bit far-fetched.

LegacyUser

i'm 2 thirds done with the da vinci code, good read, but yes, i agree, nothing amazing.

it's no harry potter

Hoochiemama

i definetly have to agree with deedee lepoopoo. although the way through i was so excited about how it ends and then when it did i was like heh?? i heard angels & demons is supposed to be much better. anyone read it?

eth0_

The Dan Brown craze reminds me of being at school when EVERYONE read Sweet valley high, Judy Bloom or Point Horror books. Everywhere you look there's someone reading a bloody Dan Brown book!

Shad0r

Only read the daVinci Code but I enjoyed it. I've read better books but I've read alot worse...I'd definitely be prepared to read more of his work before judging him.

carpocrates

theCzar wrote:

*choking on rage*

I hate him the most! you guys are fans by comparison...

go on.. go on express your rage.. let it out... let it all out

Scarinae

I've managed to avoid the Dan Brown books so far, and it's a good thing judging by this topic... My brother has read at least three of them, and says that while the first one he read (Angels & Demons) was good, once you read more than one of Dan Bron's books you realise they're very similar. I'm not sure what he meant by that, not having read them myself, but I figured that he meant Dan Brown is very formulaic? Would that be correct?

funky penguin

Best thing you can do is read it for yourself, and make your own judgements.

OY

Hoochiemama wrote:

i definetly have to agree with deedee lepoopoo. although the way through i was so excited about how it ends and then when it did i was like heh?? i heard angels & demons is supposed to be much better. anyone read it?

It is good! I have only read this one of his but am not too pushed about reading DVC. Even this was just a bored at the airport buy. It was exciting but nothing to scream and shout about.

My dad loves DVC but he is a devout athiest so he would. Probably what is turning me off reading it TBH.

L1011

Didn't like the Davinci Code at all, despite liking Brown's first book (Digital Fortress) quite a lot

This happens every few years - an author who's been around for a while, churning out books that sell OK, gets one book that sells really well, lots of hype about it, then they eventually 'disappear', selling books to their fans again. Happened to Neal Stephenson with Cryptonomicon in 2000 - he'd been writing books for nearly 20 years at that stage.

LoLth

MYOB wrote:

Didn't like the Davinci Code at all, despite liking Brown's first book (Digital Fortress) quite a lot

digital fortress was his first? hmmm, it shows. I enjoyed A&D as a distraction, DVC was ok but nothing spectacular. Thought deception point and digital fortress were actually laughable. Digital fortress just made baby jeebus cry.

sephirosis

Dan Brown is a VERY clever man.......wait, dont reach for the torches and pitch forks just yet. I am not trying to imply that he is a good writer. His books are predictable, characters shallow and language basic. but he is a VERY clever man.
why, you may ask?
He wrote what people wanted to read. He noticed the rather large anti Vatican sentiment thats been spreading around the world. millions of Christians have become disenchanted with the religion. therefore Brown writes a book that villifies the Vatican - score. but also his main character sort of "exposes" the Vatican as dark and "evil" (im sure i could have used better words there but alas). Readers who were irritated at the church for one reason or another were, able to put themselves in Langdons position and fantasise about "bringing down" the church, and see themselves as a kind of anti-religious hero, or as a way of getting justice for themselves for the "wrongs" the faith did them. thats why DVC was so popular. Although i dont really like to say it - Kudos Dan Brown.
not saying this is absolute truth, just my 2 cents. anyone agree/disagree?

theCzar

sephirosis wrote:

...

I agree with you, a large reason for it's popularity is it's promotion of the homer the heretic religion, that most of us lead (eg. i'm a good person, isn't that enough for God without spending time in church). DVC basically says that this is just like Jesus and the wife would have wanted.

Plus we all love a bit of scandal, and we love a bit of mysticism, look no further than the catholic church for buckets of both...

But no kudos to DB from me, he's a millionaire off the back of a manipulative and fictional story, that was badly written. The only reason it's such a page turner is the complete dependence on the cliff-hanger...

funky penguin

theCzar wrote:

The only reason it's such a page turner is the complete dependence on the cliff-hanger...

The DaVinci Code 2, The Revenge of Jesus

Chapter 1

Langdon awoke from his hotel bed, disturbed by an odd ringing sound that could mean only one thing.......

Chapter 2

The phone was ringing! Ye ghads! It was the Spanish chief of police, Senor DingDong, and he had a life changing message for Langdon.....

Chapter 3

His wife Sophie had called, asking how his trip to Spain was going. Damn that b1tch, he thought. Took control of my life the minute I met her. Fuucking French. But there was that other message he had recieved from el Chiefo. What was it? Oh yeah......

Chapter 4

Someone else continue, Im getting stuck for cliffhangers.

theCzar

lol

c'mon what happens next!? It's so compelling!

chapter 4

Langdon decided it was it high time for some coffee, but before he could reach the door, Satan reared up, 8 foot tall in front of him, and pointing a clawed finger squarely at robert, roared "Human, you must know this before you step from this room, If you go for coffee..." he could speak no more, for he was mysteriously cut short by................. chapter 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chapter 5
meanwhile, deep within the vatican's hidden torture chambers, which could only be accessed if you could decipher the ancient code of....


chapter 6
backwords writing!

bringitdown

ROFL

chapter 7
Reader rolls dice

scotsmurf

Just finished reading Deception Point, and wish I hadn't bothered.BORING.And I may be a sad old git, but I HATE when someone tries to be clever and fails.At one point somewhere in the book , DB refers to a DVD, but being "clever" he can't call it a DVD, he has to call it a Digital Video Disc.....................which it isn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dublin's Finest

Dan Brown is a lucky fool. He hit all the right buttons in trashy Da Vinci Code. It's amazing how popular it has become though - it's no better than your average airplane novel.

solo1

I have no respect for a book that demands nothing of me, or that assumes I'm so stupid that the author has to put a special stupid character in the book to follow the hero around and to whom he has to give mind-numbing speeches of exposition.

I read the whole thing in two days. And I was working those two days.

Scarinae

Dublin's Finest wrote:

it's no better than your average airplane novel.

It's aeroplane actually... Unless you're American?

doonothing

ah DvC was ok.. i enjoyed a lot, twas a good read...
i read angels and demons, and its crazy how much it seemed like the DvC was the same book but with different character names...
still, its absolutely insane the attention dan brown's gettin! its still no.1 innit? its been there for so long...
how....and more importantly, why....

Velvet Vocals

deedee lepoopoo wrote:

The Da Vinci Code is addictive but I was bitterly disappointed with the rushed ending, on that strength (or weakness as it were) I wouldn't read any of his other books.

I totally agree!!! What a cop out at the end, it's like he got bored or something. For a good read, well not so much good as enlightening, have a look at The Da Vinci Code de-coded... it's a real eye opener. I'm sick of these people who read the Da Vinci Code and believe it all and think that fiction is fact... HELLO PEOPLE.... FICTION!!! :mad:

funky penguin

Well, in all fairness, the author did go around spouting lies, saying the "fiction" was fact.

Velvet Vocals

funky penguin wrote:

Well, in all fairness, the author did go around spouting lies, saying the "fiction" was fact.

Really? Coz when I read it I knew it was a fictional book... and so did the person that recommended it to me.
Did the author actually say this stuff is true?

Zillah

I just don't understand. I really don't get it. I've recently tried and given up on the Da Vinci Code. Utter tripe. I got about half way.


It boggles the mind that it would have become so popular. Absolute tripe. Dan Brown repeatidly uses cheap insuting tricks in very artificial attempts at forcing a sense of intrigue, suspense and intelligence. His puzzles are so contrived and his characters bland beyond reason. Nothing short of painful to read.

Cliffhangers cause tension right!? So lets put one at the end of every GOD DAMNED chapter...

Sorry, just needed to vent. If you liked this book I hate you.

Oh, and I almost forgot. He lies. He spouts filthy knowing lies and knows that people will guzzle them down.

Oryx

Read DVC, thought it was a very ordinary potboiler that plagarised a half a dozen well known sources. Cant understand the hype either, Stephen King could wipe the floor with him, (and Im not totally raving about him either, hes past his best.) Many parts of the book were totally unconvincing. I suppose the best thing hes done is provide a springboard for people to read more on the subject, which it did for me, and it was only then I could see where he nicked his plotlines

(off topic) Zillah, whats with the name?? Whassit mean, Im intruiged, can we all have a new id?

Zaph

I have a friend who reads roughly one book every two years. When he does actually buy a book it's generally because there's excessive hype about the book and it's usually a no-brainer "airport" book. He is the most reliable indicator I have as to whether a book is worth reading or not - if he buys it, it ain't. Needless to say the last book he read was the Da Vinci Code.

funky penguin

Zillah wrote:

If you liked this book I hate you.

Thats rather harsh, dont you think....?

Shouldn't you hate the progenitor of the material, and not the victims? Even then, is it not their right to like the book?

funky penguin

Saint Something wrote:

Really? Coz when I read it I knew it was a fictional book... and so did the person that recommended it to me.
Did the author actually say this stuff is true?

He said in interviews that the religious rituals, sect, societies, etc were all true.

solo1

funky penguin wrote:

Thats rather harsh, dont you think....?

No.

funky penguin

Thats a compelling arguement.

Velvet Vocals

funky penguin wrote:

He said in interviews that the religious rituals, sect, societies, etc were all true.

Jesus... this guy's worse then I thought! Ok.. hands up... I did enjoy it when I read it. But I read it with my eyes wide open, knowing that it was what it was... a step up from pulp fiction, nothing more then a funny story.

Zillah wrote:

If you liked this book I hate you.

Is a bit harsh... but if you said if you read this book and believed all the nonsense in it and started looking for the grail (coz they're out there now looking for it) then, I HATE YOU!

Zillah

No one person should take offence at my comment. Consider it a slur directed at humanity as a whole...


My point is if people were smart enough to see through Dan Browne's attrocious writing style then he wouldnt be rolling in money and laughing at how he played the world for fools.

Velvet Vocals

Zillah wrote:

My point is if people were smart enough to see through Dan Browne's attrocious writing style then he wouldnt be rolling in money and laughing at how he played the world for fools.

Do you really think he's laughing at everyone coz he played them for fools, or is it just that he believes all this crap himself? I'm kinda leaning towards the latter, If he's prepared to say that he thinks all the stuff is true then maybe he really was trying to stir up things in the Catholic church... maybe he's laughing at the Vatican and not the general public... the public are just serving his end by being the drones that, lets face it, they are.

Obviously I don't include all of us fine people in that drone comment

I do believe that some of the societeis and sects portrayed within the book are real. They certainly bear similarities to some that i have read about.

On the topic of the book, it's a work of fiction, that was entrtaining even if it was badly written. I enjoyed the book for what it was, Jerry Bruckheimer on page. I have no interest in reading any of his other books, the two chapters of what ever book at the end of the Da Vinci Code were enough for me.

mycroft

I've said it before;

---

Possibly one of the most annoying books I've read, ever.

For starts I'm staggered by the amount of people who take what he wrote as Cannon, or fact.

The idea of this book is such a rip off of far superior work like Robert Anton Wilson's the Illumanti trilogy and Eco's "Focault's Pendenlum"

It breaks one of my cardinal rules of fiction (never buy any book which features the words, "beautiful, brilliant, and mathematican" as a character description"; see also film rules, JLO as a criminal psychologist )

I read it over a weekend while working, my girlfriend runs a 2nd hand bookshop, and got it for me, as I knew it would be quiet, I was staggered at how moronic and flimsy the plot was.

The only thing that made it worthwhile was the person who read it before me was so frustrated at the plodding plot that they took to writing sarcastic comments in the margin so:

when our intrepid hero a havard professor and his brilliant cryptographer sidekick take FOUR PAGES to figure out the 10 digit code to the Swiss Safe Deposit Box might in fact be the same 10 numbers the dead curator scrawled by his corpse,

I found "about ****ing time" scrawled next to the page. I swear it was the only thing that made that dreadful book worth reading.

Finally I found the book to be an enormous cop out. It makes no reference to the fact that the Grail could change the religious and political situation in the middle east, solve many of the issues that cause conflict between Muslims and Christians, and weaken the church considerately. Finally in case it offended right wing catholics it makes Opus Dei a pupper organisation for the evil villian instead of portraying it as it is a bloody sinister fascict catholic group.

Zillah

I love the smell of sane condemning criticism in the morning.


Did you also like when characters woudl occasionally say something like

"What a genius he must have been to come up with such a clue!! Absolute genius, what an incredible human being he must have been to think of something so clever!!"

mycroft

Zillah wrote:

I love the smell of sane condemning criticism in the morning.


Did you also like when characters woudl occasionally say something like

"What a genius he must have been to come up with such a clue!! Absolute genius, what an incredible human being he must have been to think of something so clever!!"

I've been drinking heavily since I read the book in the hope that I kill the brain cells that hold any memory of the book. Yes it's like using seveal tonnes of naplam to kill a spider, but I think it's a necessary evil.

Or the incredibly bad englishness of one of the characters.

Or that many of the chapters start with a recap of the last chapter! It's like i just read that, i know this It's like the recap at the start of an episode of batman, only half as well written.

I can remember very little of the story, which is extremely unlike me. The same thing happened with the Harry Potter books, of which I remember nothing. Maybe my subconscise has been barring all the painful memories of the wasted two hours spent reading both books. It's very weird I can recall almost every aspect of the Lord of the Rings and a dozen other books, but very little of the Da Vinvi code.

I hate the people who treat it like its fact. My cousins tole my mum to read it because it made them question their beliefs. When I told them it was a work of fiction they argued that it was all based on fact, which resulted in me argueing against them for about an hour. In the end I just gave up. How can people be so stupid?

Anyone else notice how the vast majority of people who believe its true are the same people who would talk down to you for reading Science Fiction? Most of which I might ad is far more likely than the Da Vinci Code.

I have a theory that the Da Vinci code was written by twelve monkes, on twelve type writers in one twelve hour period.

funky penguin

Deleted User wrote:

I have a theory that the Da Vinci code was written by twelve monkes, on twelve type writers in one twelve hour period.

[BURNS]It was the worst of times....it was the blurst of times?![/BURNS]

Zillah

funky penguin wrote:

[BURNS]It was the worst of times....it was the blurst of times?![/BURNS]

BAH! You stupid monkey!!

Oryx

If Dan Brown has monkeys working for him they are now very rich monkeys. Moral? Dont write well, write popular and controversial! Get the moslems or the catholic church to hate you, and sucess and riches await!

funky penguin

KatieK wrote:

If Dan Brown has monkeys working for him they are now very rich monkeys. Moral? Dont write well, write popular and controversial! Get the moslems or the catholic church to hate you, and sucess and riches await!

Along with political assassination!

mycroft

KatieK wrote:

If Dan Brown has monkeys working for him they are now very rich monkeys. Moral? Dont write well, write popular and controversial! Get the moslems or the catholic church to hate you, and sucess and riches await!

As pointed out the book stops well short of realising the implications of its theories re the reaction to its assertions. Stops short of condeming Opus Dei, and in fact protrays it in a vaguely sympatheitc light.

Rar thats sticking it to em. Christ as bad a book as the Satanic Verses was the muslim community got outraged enough to work out a fathwah. A couple of vocal tuts from the Catholic church is not a comparsion.

The book is about as contraversial as a episode of 7th heaven and less well written.

Zillah

mycroft wrote:

As pointed out the book stops well short of realising the implications of its theories re the reaction to its assertions. Stops short of condeming Opus Dei, and in fact protrays it in a vaguely sympatheitc light.

Rar thats sticking it to em. Christ as bad a book as the Satanic Verses was the muslim community got outraged enough to work out a fathwah. A couple of vocal tuts from the Catholic church is not a comparsion.

The book is about as contraversial as a episode of 7th heaven and less well written.

Nuts to all that! You put him in a league of criticism unsuited to his writing. Line by line it is infuriating and...painful, yes thats a good word for it, painful...

Shabadu

Do any of you read Private Eye? It's the English version of Pheonix, only properly satirical and much funnier.

They have a section called 'What you didn't miss...' inwhich they parody the crappy book they are reviewing in the style and manner the book is written in. The DaVinci code satire is absolutely spot on.

I am almost too full of disgust and rage at the idiocy of Dan Browne for believing this ill-researched tripe and writing it in such a patronising and nonsensical way.

There's no point in even bothering to begin pointing out everything that is wrong and crap with his writing style, and research methodology. It makes me bleed out of my ear when I even try to think about where to begin.


I keeeeeeeeeel j00 Dan Browne...