Gay lad-Straightish mate

LegacyUser

Hi mods, please dont move this to the Glb board as I'd like a bigger audience to give me their opinions on this for now thanks

Story basically is, I'm great mates with an absolutely lovely lad,we get on so well together, you'd swear we were soul mates.
As luck would have it he's straight.

My question is how do I tell him that the stress is too much for me now,I cant hang with him anymore,I've just barely enough energy to walk away,wanting him is hurting me so much.
He knows about this I've told him and he understands to an extent.He actually genuinely loves me and cares for me as a friend and vice versa except its gone a step further in my case
He lives down the road from me and I'm in the impossible position now of trying to break loose, yet see him, every other day.
I'm damned if I dont break away 'cause this is strong enough to kill me and I'm afraid I'll top myself even if I break away.

I dont think he's capable of understanding what this is doing to me and its not his fault either its just life
I just have to break off all contact, that much I know I do and I hate hurting him in the process which it will-its become a whole emotional mess.

I know this can happen with guy-girl things too so all words of advice as to how to cope with it would be great thanks.

Gordon

/note
Maximum visibility does not define the targeted forum, only content matter does.

Mirroring your last sentence: I'll leave this here. GLB and PI have much crossover.

Gone West

some people may be reluctant to browse the glB forum, though. Mabye theyre not the sort of people you want replying to you any how.

Well you should really try to stay friends with the person. This sort of thing isnt worth losing friends over

The_B_Man

if i fancied a girl and she didnt fancy me back, then i'd go out and try get over her by seeing someone else. as they say, teh best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else! might i suggest u go to a club and try get a decent fella to take ur mind off ur mate? then while ur wit the new fella, u can be gettin over ur mate without noticin! though it sounds easier than it is.

Stark

This has happened to me a few times. I've gotten over it in every instance (eventually).

Sleepy

As I've advised everyone on this board before you that's had a hard time getting over someone, the best way to get over one person is to get under another

ella minnow pea

why does it say "straighISH lad"?

Santa Claus

I know it's extra difficult because you're best mates with this guy, but he's straight and there's no changing that fact !

Think about how much you value his friendship before you let your heart rule your head and start avoiding contact with him !
I've been in this situation with girls before and it sucks losing a good friend because you can't bear to be near them because you're in love with them.

In time you'll meet someone else and the feelings will fade for your friend, plus you'll still have your best mate !

I know my feelings for one girl faded in time, but unfortunately by that time we had lost touch as I decided to avoid her because of my feelings !

Zillah

I'm in pretty much the exact same situation, but I'm the other guy.

I'd swear you were my friend but the way you wrote your post doesn't sound like his language style. Here's hoping.

Anyway....
If he were to sever contact with me I know it'd be horrible. Absolutely horrible. I wish to God I could share the depth fo feeling he has for me but it's just not there, but aside from that he's practically a soul mate. I have thought about what the situation must be like for him and my opinion always comes down to "Its his decision, if he can live as friends then theres no way in hell im going to end such a good friendship".

Ultimately you're just gonna have to do what you feel you have to.

dictatorcat

We've all been there, and all i can say is hold out, it eventually passes and when it does your view of how thins are/were will change. Treat it as an emotional growth experience.

fletch

ella minnow pea wrote:

why does it say "straighISH lad"?

I'm guessin he's prob still hoping that the guy may decide to be gay....even though it is never going to happen.

Beruthiel

indeed, as others have said, it will pass
perhaps what you need to do is not see him for a few weeks/months and in that time get out and about, try to fill your life with stuff you like to do in order to distract yourself.
As he is such a good friend, I wouldn't like to say, never see him again - I think that as time goes by, you will get over this feeling and be able to move on, then ye could be good friends again.
best of luck
a

WhiteWashMan

gay fellah wrote:

Story basically is, I'm great mates with an absolutely lovely lad,we get on so well together, you'd swear we were soul mates.
As luck would have it he's straight.

is this good luck, or bad luck, or karma luck?

gay fellah wrote:

My question is how do I tell him that the stress is too much for me now,I cant hang with him anymore,I've just barely enough energy to walk away,wanting him is hurting me so much..

ok, you got a crush.

gay fellah wrote:

He knows about this I've told him and he understands to an extent.He actually genuinely loves me and cares for me as a friend and vice versa except its gone a step further in my case

the step further being the 'love' thing?

gay fellah wrote:

He lives down the road from me and I'm in the impossible position now of trying to break loose, yet see him, every other day.
I'm damned if I dont break away 'cause this is strong enough to kill me and I'm afraid I'll top myself even if I break away.

you might top your self if you dont see him, and yet you are going to die if you do.

hmm. thats a bit of a bummer (no pun intended). sounds like you may as well put your will together. not being a little melodramatic are you?

gay fellah wrote:

I just have to break off all contact, that much I know I do and I hate hurting him in the process which it will-its become a whole emotional mess.

I know this can happen with guy-girl things too so all words of advice as to how to cope with it would be great thanks.

you see, you actually havent asked a question in your whole post. i mean, i can offer you advice, but im not sure what you want it on.

i suspect, you have fallen for someone who is a friend. you have very emotional feelings (they wont kill you), you are obviously youngish if you havent gone through this before. you want to be with this bloke but cant have him. but he is a friend and you want to spend time with your friend.

well, ask yourself this. if you didnt fancy him, would you really still be great friends? or do you feel that youa re great friends, because you shared some stuff, and you then started fancying him?

to be honest, if the bloke knows you are gay, and doesnt give a monkeys, theres no reason why you cant discuss it with him. although, you will probably make him uncomfortable. but you make some assumptions about this friend, that you really cant make. like his reactions.

youre probably better off in the long run just going out and meeting up with other people who are gay. i mean, being gay is a lifestyle. your life is based around your sexuality. and thats going to effect every interation you have with everybody., you better start learning to fancy blokes who like the cóck

Slutmonkey57b

Hve you tried rohypnol? Slip it into your own drink and tie a sign round your neck "Take advantage of me please".

don't blame me if you wake up with no eyebrows though.

Zillah

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

Hve you tried rohypnol? Slip it into your own drink and tie a sign round your neck "Take advantage of me please".

don't blame me if you wake up with no eyebrows though.

I don't like you

CathyMoran

Most people have fancied one of their friends at some stage - most of my friends are male and I have had crushes on more than one...in the end you have to accept that they do not have the same feelings and move on, you may always have strong feelings for this person but it is possible to move on, but you do need to find someone else. It is not easy being friends with someone that you have strong feelings for but it is possible. Best wishes - unrequited love is tough at the best of times but you can get over this.

Boston

WhiteWashMan wrote:

youre probably better off in the long run just going out and meeting up with other people who are gay. i mean, being gay is a lifestyle. your life is based around your sexuality. and thats going to effect every interation you have with everybody., you better start learning to fancy blokes who like the cóck

I wouldn't agree with that. Is your life based around your sexuality? Gay or straight some people live their lifes that way. Must people don't, or grow out of it.

To the orginal poster. I'm guessing this guy was the first person you outed yourself to. That can lead to allot of emotions depending how he took it. As he took it well theres often the tendency to think its perfect, here's someone who accepts me for who I am, brilliant, go for it. But those feelings don't run through in the long run.

LegacyUser

Boston wrote:

To the orginal poster. I'm guessing this guy was the first person you outed yourself to. That can lead to allot of emotions depending how he took it. As he took it well theres often the tendency to think its perfect, here's someone who accepts me for who I am, brilliant, go for it. But those feelings don't run through in the long run.

The third person I told Boston, the first was my sister who is kind of saying the same as most here ie move on.

Thats what I have to do, but I love the guy to be honest and its going to be next to impossible living near him with a no contact rule.
It's gonna be next to impossible anyway-it scares the crap out of me.

Thanks everybody by the way for the advice

Stark, you say this has happened a few times, I guess its common enough, but in this case it is someone I've known as a mate next door that I've hung around with for a long time and whom I'm best mates with, thats what makes it difficult.
I wish I hadnt these feelings at all yet I know all I want to do is look after the guy, yet here I am wanting to and having to break all contact.
I'll rest easy for a while and play it by ear as there is another factor...
I said straightish because well we hold hands a lot,hug each other a lot and we have kissed when drunk, which was lovely its all playfull and for the crack like.
When sober though he laughs that all off but still hugs and is playfull etc but is clear that he fancies girls and thats where he wants to be and see's himself settling down etc.
I get the feeling though that he's "this" close to being with me, I just call it a gut feeling, he just needs some more convincing and woo-ing
Other times,I see him round girls and think I'm kidding myself.

We've not discussed this in great depth yet so hence my worry and maybe I'm deluding myself, but yeah the stress of being told for definite NO then thats what would clinch it for me to cut off the contact for my own good and thats what i fear is going to happen hence the asking here for as much coping advice as possible
And thanks again all

Boston

gay _fellah wrote:

The third person I told Boston, the first was my sister who is kind of saying the same as most here ie move on.

Thats what I have to do, but I love the guy to be honest and its going to be next to impossible living near him with a no contact rule.
It's gonna be next to impossible anyway-it scares the crap out of me.

Thanks everybody by the way for the advice

Stark, you say this has happened a few times, I guess its common enough, but in this case it is someone I've known as a mate next door that I've hung around with for a long time and whom I'm best mates with, thats what makes it difficult.
I wish I hadnt these feelings at all yet I know all I want to do is look after the guy, yet here I am wanting to and having to break all contact.
I'll rest easy for a while and play it by ear as there is another factor...
I said straightish because well we hold hands a lot,hug each other a lot and we have kissed when drunk, which was lovely its all playfull and for the crack like.
When sober though he laughs that all off but still hugs and is playfull etc but is clear that he fancies girls and thats where he wants to be and see's himself settling down etc.
I get the feeling though that he's "this" close to being with me, I just call it a gut feeling, he just needs some more convincing and woo-ing
Other times,I see him round girls and think I'm kidding myself.

We've not discussed this in great depth yet so hence my worry and maybe I'm deluding myself, but yeah the stress of being told for definite NO then thats what would clinch it for me to cut off the contact for my own good and thats what i fear is going to happen hence the asking here for as much coping advice as possible
And thanks again all

First off, the drunken kiss bit. The guy probably wishes he was gay, not sounding arrogant or anything. But here someone who claims to love him deeply, know him better then any woman has. Has probably been there for him trough some touch times and never asked for anything, in return. I've been there, I've wished I had sexual feelings for someone like that, even done the whole holding hands, hugs, falling asleep in her arms bit, but the sexual feelings weren't there for that person.

I get the feeling though that he's "this" close to being with me, I just call it a gut feeling, he just needs some more convincing and woo-ing

Maybe he is, for the reasons outlined above. Do you think he is gay/ curious? You answered this questions allready. If you sleep with him knowing that he's not gay, it will probably destroy your friendship, and be something he will regreat for along time.

As for the problem at hand. Summers coming up, I suggest you plan not being around during the summer time. long break and get your head and priorities straight.

jesus_thats_gre

gay fellah wrote:

I dont think he's capable of understanding what this is doing to me

Of course he does not understand, he probably thinks its inherently wrong considering he is straight. Less face it, use straight guys don't really get the whole being gay thing..

You considering cutting all ties with him is also the most indiotic thing I have ever heard. He is a long term friend who has accepted you for who you are.. There is many a male friend who I have no doubt considered shunning you for your way of like. Yet, now because you "fancy" him and cannot get your own way, you want to cut all ties with him..

Grow up and get some balls.

Boston

jesus_thats_gre wrote:

Of course he does not understand, he probably thinks its inherently wrong considering he is straight. Less face it, use straight guys don't really get the whole being gay thing..

No true at all. Small minded bigoted fools have a problem. Most straight people don't. Don't try to comfort person prejudice with the view point that straight guys just aint hip with the gay thing. That's bollix.

You considering cutting all ties with him is also the most indiotic thing I have ever heard.

No it's not, sometimes when you love someone and its not requited, its the only option, otherwise you would go spear.

There is many a male friend who I have no doubt considered shunning you for your way of like.

Of course there is, probably people so fuking insecure in their own sexuality that their afraid that by hanging around with a "queer", they'll catch it, or be turned or that people will think they are gay.

Yet, now because you "fancy" him and cannot get your own way, you want to cut all ties with him..

He said he loves him, he didn't say he wanted a quick shag.

Grow up and get some balls.

Cop on.

Gordon

jesus_thats_gre wrote:

Grow up and get some balls.

Please explain this statement.

Sangre

Eh, has this guy ever been with another guy?

Because he sure doesn't sound straight to me.

Boston

Sangre wrote:

Eh, has this guy ever been with another guy?

Because he sure doesn't sound straight to me.

Not every straight guy plays rugby and studies law at UCD, In fact very few do.

BuffyBot

Grow up and get some balls.

I probably wouldn't have put it quite so bluntly, but there is a point somewhere in there. I've been in the situation you've been in.

At the end of the day, if the friendship is so great it might just survive this - you're in pain, which is understandable, but is it worth abandoning someone you describe as a "soul mate" because you are hurting at the moment?

You can abandon this solid friendship, or ride the situation out (painful as it may be) and come out the other side older, wiser and still in posession of a good friend. At the end of the day though, the choice is yours

Sangre

Boston wrote:

Not every straight guy plays rugby and studies law at UCD, In fact very few do.

Yeah only a lucky few...

This guy must be at the very least quite curious/bi. He holds hands, hugs you a lot and kisses you when drunk? We all know we are our most truthful when intoxicated.
Have you ever seen a gay guy holding hands with a straight guy and not go...hmm something doesn't quite add up. Then he goes an kisses you.
Talk about a cóck tease

Anyway, there must be some feelings there for you to do these things, social stigma/self-denial is probably holding him back.

You should talk about these signs of affections next time they happen.

Boston

A Drunken kiss is just that, a drunken Kiss. You wouldn't believe the amounth of people who have done allot more then that and still identify as straight. It's a preference few people are exclusively straight. It's not a case of denial. That said maybe he is gay, I don't know the guy.

Have you ever seen a girl holding hands hands with a guy and not thought something was going on? I find it hard to see your point on this. I've done everything memtioned and more (bar the kissing) with people I'm particularly close to, of both genders, means little.

LegacyUser

Sangre wrote:

Yeah only a lucky few...

This guy must be at the very least quite curious/bi. He holds hands, hugs you a lot and kisses you when drunk? We all know we are our most truthful when intoxicated.
Have you ever seen a gay guy holding hands with a straight guy and not go...hmm something doesn't quite add up. Then he goes an kisses you.
Talk about a cóck tease

Anyway, there must be some feelings there for you to do these things, social stigma/self-denial is probably holding him back.

You should talk about these signs of affections next time they happen.

Sangre I think I want to subscribe to your magazine, that post lifted me
I will talk about this with him,I guess I'm scared because it matters.

Boston I like you too, thats important stuff you've said.
I guess what I have to do now is bite the bullet and if this doesnt work , come back for some coping advice, cause I may need it.

Buffybot I see what you are saying, its going to be a case of a break for sanity if possible if this doesnt work out and not a deliberate throwing away of someone special.

Oh and I nearly forgot thanks whitewashman too ,I'll let you all know what happens and hope I can do the same back for any of you if you come in here un reg sometime

WhiteWashMan

gay-fellah wrote:

Oh and I nearly forgot thanks whitewashman too ,I'll let you all know what happens and hope I can do the same back for any of you if you come in here un reg sometime

why would i post as unreg'd?

personally i think youre making mountains out of molehills, but thats your business. if what i say is of no use to you, then dont use it. others may find it useful. who knows?

the fact that you included me, while what i said obviously doesnt interest you, only increases my feeling that you are a little melodramatic, and over sensitive.

but thats ok. but its ok to be straight too....

azezil

Sangre wrote:

Yeah only a lucky few...

This guy must be at the very least quite curious/bi. He holds hands, hugs you a lot and kisses you when drunk? We all know we are our most truthful when intoxicated.
Have you ever seen a gay guy holding hands with a straight guy and not go...hmm something doesn't quite add up. Then he goes an kisses you.
Talk about a cóck tease

Anyway, there must be some feelings there for you to do these things, social stigma/self-denial is probably holding him back.

You should talk about these signs of affections next time they happen.

oh don't be silly, i know plenty of straight guys who get very touchy feely when they're drunk! hell i've done stuff with women when i'm drunk but i'd never dream of doing it sober!

Alcohol DOES NOT bring out your true self, that's a load of crap.

WhiteWashMan

azezil wrote:

Alcohol DOES NOT bring out your true self, that's a load of crap.

its true.

ive slept with many a fat ugly bird that i wouldnt p1ss on if they were on fire if i were sober.

jesus_thats_gre

Boston wrote:

No true at all. Small minded bigoted fools have a problem. Most straight people don't. Don't try to comfort person prejudice with the view point that straight guys just aint hip with the gay thing. That's bollix.

This is my point. His friend has already proven that he is willing to accept him for what he is and maintain their close friendship. This isn't enough for the original poster who wants to maintain a full on relationship with him.. The original poster isn;t getting his way so is considering ditching a decent mate. I think this is extremely poor form..

jesus_thats_gre

Gordon wrote:

Please explain this statement.

He is acting like a 12 year prissy bitch..

WhiteWashMan

jesus_thats_gre wrote:

He is acting like a 12 year prissy bitch..

i find it hard to believe that 12 year olds are bítches. rather more precocious.
so i dont think thats a good answer. at least try and make an effort.
man, do i have to do all the good trolling around here. you guys are crap.

LegacyUser

jesus_thats_gre wrote:

This is my point. His friend has already proven that he is willing to accept him for what he is and maintain their close friendship. This isn't enough for the original poster who wants to maintain a full on relationship with him.. The original poster isn;t getting his way so is considering ditching a decent mate. I think this is extremely poor form..

Thats where you are wrong.
I've said already I love the guy,but my feelings are such that the pain of not having something more would be too much for me.
I've not said anything about a quick shag.
I will walk away at least for a while untill my head is sorted if this doesnt work out.

Do you think I'd be posting my problem here and saying what I've said if things were as easy as your thoughtless non understanding post make them. out

You obviously dont understand

Beruthiel

WhiteWashMan wrote:

do i have to do all the good trolling around here. you guys are crap.

out of the mouth of babes.....
I'm watching you young fella!
B

ChRoMe

Wait up for me. Damn you WWM your stealing this one!

<insert>Obligotary lets keep the thread on topic sentence here</insert>

Jesus_thats_gre: I think the comment about straight guys not getting it is true. Now before all of you go nuts let me explain. Do I have a problem if a friend chooses to have sex with a man? No what he does in his bedroom is his business. However just becuase I dont judge people for doing it. To be perfectly honest I dont understand how any blokes would want to do it but they do and thats fair enough

Thats my personal viewpoint it is of course not shared by homosexuals. So it is possible not to judge or have bias against someone for their sexuality but that doesnt automatically equate to being comfortable/understanding it.

Sangre

WhiteWashMan wrote:

its true.

ive slept with many a fat ugly bird that i wouldnt p1ss on if they were on fire if i were sober.

Yeah...but it brought out your true desire to get laid

WhiteWashMan

Sangre wrote:

Yeah...but it brought out your true desire to get laid

no, it made me horny and want to orgasm.
whether i used a fat chick, a thin chick, the mouth of the guy behind the bar, or my own hand is inconsequential.
thats not to say i have ever off loaded into the guy behind the bar. twas only an example.

but i do somewhat agree with Jesus-thats_Great, i do think the OP is over reacting.
i could go out on a limb, use a stereotyped overacting camp homosexual comparison, and say that in general i feel he a stereotypical overacting camp homosexual

you know, kind of in the vain that azazaezil portrays here (although i suspect he is also an overacting camp homosexual in real life too)


i mean, its a simple crush, weve all had them, but if you look at the motive language used by the OP in the posts he has put up, its full of colourful language about 'breaking free', 'soul mates', 'emotional mess', 'break away' 'top myself'
i mean seriously. it sounds like a 15 year old girl who will just die if she doesnt get to go out with the drummer from Busted!

and while i am not putting down or belitteling the obvious discomfort and pain that the OP has over the issue, i think, well, really, just deal with it, because it appears to me that the drama surrounding the whole issue is more important than the issue at hand.

ChRoMe

"because it appears to me that the drama surrounding the whole issue is more important than the issue at hand."

isint that the essence of all PI posts?

ChRoMe

moridin

WhiteWashMan wrote:

i could go out on a limb, use a stereotyped overacting camp homosexual comparison, and say that in general i feel he a stereotypical overacting camp homosexual

you know, kind of in the vain that azazaezil portrays here (although i suspect he is also an overacting camp homosexual in real life too)

i mean, its a simple crush, weve all had them, but if you look at the motive language used by the OP in the posts he has put up, its full of colourful language about 'breaking free', 'soul mates', 'emotional mess', 'break away' 'top myself'

I wouldn't go so far to say that it's a 'simple' crush. From my take on what's been said already, the OP and this guy have known each other for a long time they've grown up together, there's bound to be a bond there. When you start mixing that with affairs of the heart it's pretty clear that the situation is never going to be a 'simple' one.

Really, it's a case of "damned if you do and damned if you don't". I understand how frustrated and hurt the OP must be over the whole situation, while he also doesn't want to lose his friend who he cares so much about.

and while i am not putting down or belitteling the obvious discomfort and pain that the OP has over the issue

Actually, it seems that you're doing exactly that.

WhiteWashMan

moridin wrote:

Actually, it seems that you're doing exactly that.

and you are free to take from my posts what you want. if thats what you want to believe, or want to read into them, you go right ahead.

isint that the essence of all PI posts?

ChRoMe wrote:

isint that the essence of all PI posts?
ChRoMe

no. i dont think it is. some of them certainly, but mostly, its just people who cant see the woods from the trees because of personal involvement. i think.

which is why this is the difference between PI and Humanities.

Boston

ChRoMe wrote:

Jesus_thats_gre: I think the comment about straight guys not getting it is true. Now before all of you go nuts let me explain. Do I have a problem if a friend chooses to have sex with a man? No what he does in his bedroom is his business. However just becuase I dont judge people for doing it. To be perfectly honest I dont understand how any blokes would want to do it but they do and thats fair enough

Don't descise ingnorance with the whole, "yours so different we couldn't possilbly understand" crap. Most straight blokes arn't comfortable with two gay guys expressing effection for each other, in their presence. Most gay guys accept this as a reality and move on. They don't bang on about it and ram their toung down their boyfriends throat and pretend not to understand why your getting upset, because their gay and gays don't get straights. Cop on. To parafraze WWM, its a desire to get ****ed, whats not to understand about it?

WhiteWashMan:
I wouldn't say he's a stereotypical overacting camp homosexual, he's a stereotypical teenage male thats found love for the first time and lacks the experience or wisdom of age to deal with it correctly.

Walking away may be the only way in the short term to save this guys friendship in the long term. He has to get his head together, but you also have to make it clear whats going on to your friend, and that it's nothing he did.

FranknFurter

Seems to me the guys only askin for advice on a personal issue

And it seems that some here wanna discuss whether or not straight men are comfortable with the concept of homosexuality, which, imho, is a vastly different topic.

Mate, iv been where you are right now a couple of times, trust me, hard as may be (no pun intended), stay close friends. My experience tells me that eventually, you will meet somone and look back on this and smile.
They say "the first cut is the deepest" and with love/crush/whatever, when you accecpt it, it can begin to heal.

Good luck.

Slutmonkey57b

OP: Have you considered Rohypnol?

I'm not suggesting you rape the guy.

Perhaps you could drug yourself and let him rape you? If you video it you can pass it off as experimentation. Just throwing it out there.

Or maybe you could drug each other, then pass out and make up what happened afterwards? I've got a twenty sided dice somewhere might help you make up a story.

Eeeh not helpful advice, but what else on this thread is?

Bottom line, the guy is confusd, things will work itself out, someone will probably end up getting hurt, that's life. There's nothing you can do but do what your heart tells you is right.

azezil

WhiteWashMan wrote:

you know, kind of in the vain that azazaezil portrays here (although i suspect he is also an overacting camp homosexual in real life too)

Ooh be nice! .o/^

Beruthiel

Slutmonkey57b
another comment like you have made above and I'm banning you, comments like that are not welcome in this forum and are certainly of no help to the OP - think before you post
B

WhiteWashMan

Boston wrote:

WhiteWashMan:
I wouldn't say he's a stereotypical overacting camp homosexual, he's a stereotypical teenage male thats found love for the first time and lacks the experience or wisdom of age to deal with it correctly.

sorry, my mistake. what i should have said was i feel he is behaving like...
and yes, i agree with you, except i call it a crush.

and you know the only advice that this young poster needs is?

its do wahtever you feel like.
because at the end of the day, its these experiences that will help him the next time he falls for someone. and when you are young and inexperienced, every single little problem seems like an insurmountable mountain.

if it doesnt work, it doesnt work. if it works, it works.
theres a philosphy for life.

ChRoMe

"They don't bang on about it and ram their toung down their boyfriends throat and pretend not to understand why your getting upset, because their gay and gays don't get straights"

Well done you managed to reply to something that I expressed as a personal viewpoint with a massive generalisation. The use of the word "They" implies that every homosexual has those exact thoughts thats pretty unlikely wouldnt you say?

All I said in my post that me,myself and I personally dont understand it. I also know from my circle of friends and people that I meet that there is a fair amount of straight men who cant fully understand it. On the flip side there are of course straight men where it really doesnt make any difference to and dont have trouble comprehending it. I believe that both of these groups are entitled to their opionion. The problem arises when someone is treated unfairly because of their sexuality. We all agree thats not right.

That doesnt however automatically mean that every straight bloke can fully comprehend the homosexual "lifestyle" or whatever you want to call it.

"whats not to understand about it"

I'll give you a list. How do they decided who "does" who? Isint it horrible to kiss someone with stubble?, The confidence and openness of using gay sites like gaydar, How heart breaking it would be for someone in your family to have a negative view of you becuase of your sexuality. These are all things I cant really comprehend.

ChRoMe

azezil

ChRoMe wrote:

I'll give you a list. How do they decided who "does" who?

Depends on the person, maybe one'll prefer it one way or the other

Isint it horrible to kiss someone with stubble?

isn't it weird to kiss someone without stubble?

The confidence and openness of using gay sites like gaydar

dunno about that one, a lot of guys use it because its easier to hide behind a computer screen than go out in public and looking for guys...

Easiest way to understand it is to think of the way you feel about a woman, but for us its not a woman its a man. heh simple no?

WhiteWashMan

ChRoMe wrote:

All I said in my post that me,myself and I personally dont understand it.

but i think the point chrome, is that you dont have to understand it.
i dont *get* vegans, but again, i dont really care...

the feelings between people, or that people feel, are not different because of a difference in gender.