Fake Doctor's note

fischerspooner · 21-02-2005 1:23pm #1

Has anyone ever faked a doctor's note for work? I called in sick today and lied for some reason, telling my boss "oh yeah it's cool I have a note from the doctor", even though I don't. It just blurted out, I always get nervous when calling in sick, even if I am really sick, I haven't done it very often. Stupid. What the hell do I do now??

Chalk · 21-02-2005 1:26pm

go to the doctor?

theyll usually give you a note if you say you were unwell over the weekend and didnt want to go in to work today in case you didnt get better.

as for forging the note , i wouldnt even try, youll be so srewed if you get caught.

seamus · 21-02-2005 1:27pm

Feign sickness, go to the doctor and pay him €50 for a sick note.

fischerspooner · 21-02-2005 1:32pm

Just called the doctor and can't see him till tomorrow. Christ. This means I'll have to take another day off. What illness should I tell the doctor I have? Why didn't I just get out of bed

.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 21-02-2005 1:38pm

Cook some chicken then put it back in the packet you got it from, leave for a few hours then eat it. You'll be real sick.

Or call a different doctor

pickarooney · 21-02-2005 1:43pm

Don't sweat it, your employer will more than likely forget about the note. Usually doctor's notes are only necessary for extended absences of three days or more (of course, it depends completely on the company), so why not take tomorrow off as well and get the note to cover both days, and Wednesday - if you have to fork out €50, the least you can do is get a few days out of it.

Of course, if you have morals and things, just ignore this.

Blub2k4 · 21-02-2005 1:48pm

Oh the tangled web we weave.

fischerspooner · 21-02-2005 1:48pm

yeah good idea rooney. What's an easy illness to fake to a doctor though? I haven't been to see one in years

Santa Claus · 21-02-2005 1:51pm

Just tell the doctor you had explosive diarrohea....I doubt he'll look for any details off you.
Only problem with above is that he might write "explosive diarrohea" on your sick note, in which case your boss would be duty bound to photo copy it and stick it up on the noticeboard

PADDYPOKER · 21-02-2005 1:53pm

Most companies only ask for a sick note when you are out of work for
3 or more days, so if it's only today you don't need one unless you plan to take more time off this week?
You might have upset stomach or migraine.

Hobart · 21-02-2005 1:53pm

Why fake it? Do as Bottle of Smoke said, or cut one of your limbs off. Obviously don't do it today if you cannot see the doc, do it tomorrow morning. That way you won't bleed to death.

bounty · 21-02-2005 2:08pm

headache or backpain

works everytime

Robbo · 21-02-2005 2:10pm

A pain in your liver that falls just short of jaundice?

Santa Claus · 21-02-2005 2:15pm

Go to Butchers, get a kidney (think they're sheeps kidneys they sell, but if you can get one of butchers own it'll be all the more realistic) then bring it to doctors in a plastic bag and explain that you strained a bit when have a poo and this came out and should you be worried !?!

LoBo · 21-02-2005 2:19pm

Robbo wrote:

A pain in your liver that falls just short of jaundice?

The doctor might be puzzled by the fact that it wasn't quite jaundice.

DrIndy · 21-02-2005 2:19pm

Do migraine - back pain needs to last more than a few days........

sprinkles · 21-02-2005 2:58pm

Santa Claus wrote:

Go to Butchers, get a kidney (think they're sheeps kidneys they sell, but if you can get one of butchers own it'll be all the more realistic) then bring it to doctors in a plastic bag and explain that you strained a bit when have a poo and this came out and should you be worried !?!

LOL!

happyhippie · 21-02-2005 5:10pm

Never faked a doctor's note, but I love a challenge.

The last doctor's note I received was printed on headed paper, stamped & signed.

So you can create your own headed paper in a Word doc, forge a signature, and finally you need to find a good stationary shop which sells personalised rubber stamps. Ok it's complex but cheaper than going to the doctor.

Geez, I'm a little criminal I am....

Praetorian · 21-02-2005 5:16pm

happyhippie wrote:

Never faked a doctor's note, but I love a challenge.

The last doctor's note I received was printed on headed paper, stamped & signed.

So you can create your own headed paper in a Word doc, forge a signature, and finally you need to find a good stationary shop which sells personalised rubber stamps. Ok it's complex but cheaper than going to the doctor.

Geez, I'm a little criminal I am....

OMG that is brilliant! No employer would check if it's authentic either

JackKelly · 21-02-2005 7:52pm

fischerspooner wrote:

Christ. This means I'll have to take another day off. What illness should I tell the doctor I have?.

LMAO.Thats classic

alleepally · 21-02-2005 7:58pm

Just go into work tomorrow, get the head stuck in and if someone asks to see the note just say it was binned by mistake or something.

steveland? · 21-02-2005 8:03pm

fischerspooner wrote:

yeah good idea rooney. What's an easy illness to fake to a doctor though? I haven't been to see one in years

Go to a real attractive female doctor and tell her it itches... ya know.... down there... and drop yer pants...

Even if you don't get yer doctors note you'll still get a bitta fun out of it

goin'_to_the_PS · 21-02-2005 8:08pm

off topic/ get a glass of water and a straw and snort some up your nose, makes you sound like your REALLY sick with the flu or something(a bit drastic, i know)

Victor · 23-02-2005 2:59am

Santa Claus wrote:

Go to Butchers, get a kidney (think they're sheeps kidneys they sell, but if you can get one of butchers own it'll be all the more realistic) then bring it to doctors in a plastic bag and explain that you strained a bit when have a poo and this came out and should you be worried !?!

Try one of them family butchers that do baby beef.

Healio · 23-02-2005 3:34am

goin'_to_the_PS wrote:

off topic/ get a glass of water and a straw and snort some up your nose, makes you sound like your REALLY sick with the flu or something(a bit drastic, i know)

*wonders how that was discovered*

[Jackass] · 23-02-2005 4:11am

Tell them you have swolen blood or some other imaginery ilness....Or you could always just go in....it's only one day, and you called in to let them know....your boss isnt going to storm over to you first thing in the morning, call you a liar, and demand a note! And even (although he wont) if he did ask you for the note, all you have to say is you forgot it, you'll give it to him tomorrow, ad go to the doc that aftenoon...Doctors will back date letters, and will always give you one because they want to get paid.

Gone West · 23-02-2005 4:32am

how about just go in and tell your boss that you had some family problems and that you just said you were sick because you were embarrassed about having family problems. Or relationship/whatever probs.

petes · 23-02-2005 9:49am

http://www.oasis.gov.ie/employment/holidays_and_leave/sick_leave.html

Someone already said it. You dont actually need one if its less than 3 days unless its in your contract otherwise. Failing that tell you had a bad dose of syphillis.

Blub2k4 · 23-02-2005 9:51am

Does the fact that this thread is still going on discussing fraud mean we can start discussing where to get illegal drugs and stuff?

pickarooney · 23-02-2005 9:57am

Re-enact the penal laws and get that man off his high horse.

Blub2k4 · 23-02-2005 10:02am

pickarooney wrote:

Re-enact the penal laws and get that man off his high horse.

Na seriously, dont you see a double standard? Or are you choosing not to?

Victor · 23-02-2005 10:03pm

petes wrote:

http://www.oasis.gov.ie/employment/holidays_and_leave/sick_leave.html
Someone already said it. You dont actually need one if its less than 3 days unless its in your contract otherwise. Failing that tell you had a bad dose of syphillis.

Of course the company is perfectly within it's rights to not pay you then.

The three day limit has to do with social welfare benefits if unable to work, nothing to do with employment law.

Fake Doctor's note

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