Why is my dad such a f$%^ing pr!ck

Stench Blossoms

I was doing a college project (that had to be handed in the next day) at the computer and my dad was in the sitting room watching telly. Its a big enough project worth a good bit of the year and everyone in my family knew this. I was stressing abit because i knew i would to have to stay up all night or get up early to do it.

My dad asked me for a glass of water and i said i was busy, and he kept asking, so i told him to get it himself. It wasn't as if he was doing anything important. He kept asking and asking and saying things like "next time your looking for money i'll be busy doing a project". He kept saying stupid things like that he wanted any cd's belong to him that i had back.

I told him to cop on and i then went to the toilet ,while i was gone he pulled all the wires out of the computer, disconnected the internet knocked everything all over the place.

I started crying because i had worked so hard on everything and most of it was gone he said "Your a spoilt bitch and you deserve it"

Is it my own fault because i didnt get him the water or is he just a prick ??

p.pete

He's a prick (or at least based on that encounter)

gubby

Oh my god.. you poor girl. I wonder is he always like that.. or is there something wrong with him that you dont know about? could someone else not have got him the water?

Kev_ps3

Honestly he sounds like an im-mature prick!.. Christ if my dad did that to me! You should stand up for yourself!

Stench Blossoms

My mam was sitting beside him and she said she'd get the water but he said no he wanted me to get it.

Mr. Presentable

I'd have got him water while I was in the bathroom. If you know what I mean

Stench Blossoms

kev boy wrote:

Honestly he sounds like an im-mature prick!.. Christ if my dad did that to me! You should stand up for yourself!

well honestly i dont know how? he's a big bloke, 6'2 and im only 5'4. I locked myself in the bathroom because i was afraid he'd hit me.

bizmark

Did you do something to really piss him off dureing the day ? or maybe he just had a truely awful day such days do happen and can make the best of us go off the deep end.

Bluebells

Yes he is being a big knob. It sounds like he's really stressed at summit but thats no excuse. If he's not worried about something and he treats you like that just ignore him and leave home asap!

Stench Blossoms

No i wasnt really near him, i noticed he was in a bad mood earlier on but i stayed away and he wasnt picking on me. He seemed fine just beforehand, like it was kind of a joke at first and then he just hit the roof.

bizmark

is he offen like that? or was this a one off

Stench Blossoms

No its not a one off but like he's never done anything this bad, he knew it was something for college and that it was worth alot. He said he didnt care i desevered it.

ShakyJ

been there before. had simular situations. They dont give a **** about you doing the college work etc. gather you be avoiding him for a bit?

Standard Toaster

Jesus Orla, that's outta line. Your dad sounds like a right bundle of joy at the mo. Are you an only child or have you got brothers/sisters which he treats just as bad? As you say it wasn't a one off.

Did you manage to get your project finished?

Stench Blossoms

Avoiding him like the plague! Normally if i dont talk to him he tries to make it up to me a few days later or else threatens me into talking to him again

simu

Did he receive university education himself? If not, he's just bitter, jealous and intimidated by your success.

Stench Blossoms

The_Edge wrote:

Jesus Orla, that's outta line. Your dad sounds like a right bundle of joy at the mo. Are you an only child or have you got brothers/sisters which he treats just as bad? As you say it wasn't a one off.

Did you manage to get your project finished?

No ive a sister thats 10, doesnt treat her like that he thinks the sun shines out of her ass. But if he does shout at her etc he always brings her toy shopping a few days later and she forgets about it.

No haven't got the project finished. What am i gonna say in college??? Sorry my da ****ed up my computer cos he's a weirdo?

Stench Blossoms

simu wrote:

Did he receive university education himself? If not, he's just bitter, jealous and intimidated by your success.

He owns a construction company, well half owns, the other half is in my name. He's very success, pretty well off aswell

simu

orla wrote:

He owns a construction company, well half owns, the other half is in my name. He's very success, pretty well off aswell

Maybe he's intimidated by your academic success though. Even though, he has no real reason to be as far fewer people went to uni in the old days whereas it's very commonplace now.

secret_squirrel

simu wrote:

Did he receive university education himself? If not, he's just bitter, jealous and intimidated by your success.

Think you hit the nail on the head there.

Either that or he is an abusive bully who you need to get away from as soon as possible. that kind of behaviour is mental abuse pure and simple. Does he physically abuse you too? Get out of there ASAP.

Edit: If you own half his company (how did that happen? Why isnt your mum his partner) you have him over a barrel.........

Stench Blossoms

secret_squirrel wrote:

Think you hit the nail on the head there.

Either that or he is an abusive bully who you need to get away from as soon as possible. that kind of behaviour is mental abuse pure and simple. Does he physically abuse you too? Get out of there ASAP.

When i was younger he used to slap me, i remember though when i was about 16 and he dragged me down the stairs by my hair because i didnt clean the kitchen

solas

ut oh

ShakyJ

i dont think it has anything to do with the college education that has him like this. He just ended up in a mood and you got it in the neck.

kasintahan

orla wrote:

I told him to cop on and i then went to the toilet ,while i was gone he pulled all the wires out of the computer, disconnected the internet knocked everything all over the place.

Since when can a two year old with a temper tantrum problem father a child?

orla wrote:

6'2 and im only 5'4....I locked myself in the bathroom because i was afraid he'd hit me.

Now, this is a far more serious problem.

Has he hit you before?

solas

I know its good to be able to come here and get this stuff out of your system, but it would be good if you could talk to comeone on campus, a counsellor perhaps might be able to give you more constructive advice, without leaving any burn marks behind.

would that be possible?

seamus

Sounds like a hot-headed guy who hits the roof for no reason, and completely loses control of himself. Hence the unreasonable actions, followed by remorse and presents.

Nothing called for his actions, but could your attitude have aggravated the situation? Did you explain to him why you were busy, or did you just snap at him, essentially telling him to f-off?

In future, don't rise to his anger. Don't scream at him, don't start crying, don't lose your rag. There's nothing quicker for calming down an argumentative person than not having anyone to argue with.

solas

When i was younger he used to slap me, i remember though when i was about 16 and he dragged me down the stairs by my hair because i didnt clean the kitchen

there's really no excuse for this kind of behaviour.

Stench Blossoms

I told him i was doing a project and i was busy. I never raised my voice once. It was all a joke kinda at first but then he just snapped.

I'd say if he found i talked to a counsellor he'd call me a wimp, actually i know exactly what he'd say "I've always given you everything you wanted and this is the thanks i get" thats normally what he says anyway after a fight.

He hasn't hit me in a long time, well like i cant remember the last time, i think its probably because i run away quicker now.

Anything that i've ever got in trouble for where stupid things though, examples:

drinkin his coke or orange, or eating his bars, this would prob be the worst of them because its horrible when my friends come around and i cant offer them anything other than water.
takin his razor heads,
not cleaning the kitchen,
taking his hair brush,
fighting with my sister,

nothing outragous there?

solas

It sounds like an anger managment issue, suggesting a counsellor for you is really only to help you learn how to deal with outbursts.
We really can't change other people, thats something they have to figure out for themselves, but you can help yourself by recognising that you don't have to be treated like sh*t by anyone, not even your dad, as much as you both may love each other.
Most peoples experience of college is leaving home for the first time and tasting independance, it might be hard for a while but it could be time to learn how to stand on your own two feet.

<ps: I had a similar relationship with my mother when I was younger, we used to just spark each other off, moved out when I was 17 and it helped our relationship no end, we're closer now (10 years later) than I ever thought possible>

ShakyJ

have you looked into a way of trying to get back the work you have lost?

delly

Out of interest, do you have any brothers, or is it an all girl family?

seamus

orla wrote:

Anything that i've ever got in trouble for where stupid things though, examples:

drinkin his coke or orange, or eating his bars, this would prob be the worst of them because its horrible when my friends come around and i cant offer them anything other than water.
takin his razor heads,
not cleaning the kitchen,
taking his hair brush,
fighting with my sister,

nothing outragous there?

Please don't get offended here, but there seems to be something dysfunctional where a Father has "his" consumable things that he won't let anyone else touch, and a 18-year-old Daughter still has to be nagged to do the kitchen, put things back where she got them, stop fighting with her ten-year-old sister, etc.

Maybe that's just me. Whether actually interacting with him in a mature manner would help, I don't know, I can't remember ever having to deal with someone who seems to be an overgrown child.

Stench Blossoms

Ive got some of the work back, not all, its kind of complicated to explain but i was writing a report on something i researched, ive lost my research material.

No brothers, just me and my younger sister, had another sister but she died when she was a baby 11 yrs ago

Stench Blossoms

@ seamus. im not offended at all.

I didnt realise the whole coke thing etc wasnt normal untill a yr or 2 ago. I just thought that was the way in every family.

solas

had another sister but she died when she was a baby 11 yrs ago

my mother lost a baby a couple of years before I was born too, looks like repressed hurt and pain (comes out as anger).

delly

orla wrote:

No brothers, just me and my younger sister, had another sister but she died when she was a baby 11 yrs ago

The only reason i ask is that from what you say about the way he treats you, its very similar to the way i know some of my mates have relationships with there fathers, theres always that father and son hassle going on, even into adult life.

The way he is would sound a whole lot normal, to me anyway, if you were his son, but for a father/daughter relationship, its just plain crazy.

StandnDeliver

he sounds like a bully to me

Shabadu

seamus wrote:

In future, don't rise to his anger. Don't scream at him, don't start crying, don't lose your rag. There's nothing quicker for calming down an argumentative person than not having anyone to argue with.

Ditto wot seamus said; used this technique with both my parents when we were going through similar stuff years ago. It can be really hard to do, but just go somewhere else in your head and try not to take any of it in. They start to feel stupid and even the most severe anger dissapates from the initial rage. Then get out of the vicinity for at least half an hour.

Try and remember his actions are not about you and don't reflect on you, it's his issue. You're not going to be in this situation forever, one day he won't have any financial hold or control over you.

Speak to your college counselling service, you will definitly be able to get an extension. Hope things improve.

dewsbury

Hi,
I'm Orla's Dad.
I am really sorry about what happened earlier. I've had a bad day. One of my employees wife died in a car accident. He blamed it on me for some unknown reason... it was very upsetting.
My construction company was doing well untill a major setback recently. We may go bust and let 30 staff go. Some have been with us for almost 30 years and will struggle to work again. I did not sleep last night because of my concern for the older workers. I am under considerable stress.

I have also had a cancer scare of my own in the last few weeks... will get definate results next week... so fingers crossed.
I adore my beautiful children ... from the moment there were born until the moment I type this note. I'm not perfect but I would never intentionally hurt my children.
Hopefully all will work out well for all of us.

Please be understanding

pickarooney

So, if you're Orla's dad, why did you do it (if not because you're a "f$%^ing prick")?

ShakyJ

dewsbury wrote:

Hi,
I'm Orla's Dad.
I am really sorry about what happened earlier. I've had a bad day. One of my employees wife died in a car accident. He blamed it on me for some unknown reason... it was very upsetting.
My construction company was doing well untill a major setback recently. We may go bust and let 30 staff go. Some have been with us for almost 30 years and will struggle to work again. I did not sleep last night because of my concern for the older workers. I am under considerable stress.

I have also had a cancer scare of my own in the last few weeks... will get definate results next week... so fingers crossed.
I adore my beautiful children ... from the moment there were born until the moment I type this note. I'm not perfect but I would never intentionally hurt my children.
Hopefully all will work out well for all of us.

Please be understanding

whats the story here? this all seems a tad bit odd to me???!

NotMe

Someones taking the piss methinks.

ShakyJ

deffo. seem like a scam!

bada_bing

NotMe wrote:

Someones taking the piss methinks.

yeah i think someone is trolling here too. otherwise i find the thought of the father prying around his daughter's online activities/posts a gross invasion of privacy. Any responsible parent should refrain from doing so particularly with an 18 year old daughter.

is_that_so

Think the "dad's reply" raises a number of issues here. Most especially in relation to this inexcusable behaviour. There is some underlying reason for what he does and how he behaves. That said sometimes when faced with that kind of situation you try to balance it up. In this case you could look at the potential outcomes. If you think you can bite your tongue and keep the peace at a small cost to yourself then you get what you want done. If you are in college remember it will only be for a short time longer .

However if there is abuse or bullying then I would say that you need to get someone other than a counsellor involved.

Stench Blossoms

@dewsbury..
Get a ****ing life!
Your not my da... my da doesnt know how 2 use the computer and my dad Never says sorry

Stench Blossoms

Im actually so pissed off that someone is that sad to pretend to be my dad... please mod's ban that person.

Im having a very hard time right now and u think u can get a laugh out of it?

REDZ

yeah ban that bag of ****e dewsbury

orla, in a weird way this might have something to do with your father being scared of losing you. a part of him might see your academic success as being a step towards your independance, hence the awful sabotage. losing your baby sister might make this fear of losing you stronger. him insisting on having his own sweets and stuff sounds very controlling, and your growth as a person is a threat to his control of his family life. this is not an excuse for his awful behavior, just an attempt at an explanation. fear often manifests itself as anger.
your mum should be supporting you in this situation, as your dad has clearly crossed the line. i hope she is.
in terms of the college stuff, tell them you have had some family problems and need an extension, they should be understanding, if not get on to your welfare officer. i wish you all the best in dealing with this horrible situation.

Stench Blossoms

thank u

Tusky

I call troll on orla.

Zombrex

It sounds like your dad is from the generation of men who expect women to look after them. To him it was a power thing. You were right to stand up for yourself, you are not spoilt because you didn't jump up to get your dad a drink of water. He can get his own damn water. And what he did by pulling out your computer was disgraceful.

Next time he says something like that to you tell him you ain't his mother and he is not a child.