The Niquitin TV ads

Tommy Vercetti

I've had enough of those stupid ads, you know the one with that sweaty chubby lady? She's always moaning about quiting smoking and how great those patches are. To be honest I usually have the channel well changed so I don't watch it to the end. Got me thinking though, wouldn't it be hilarious if she got run over by a cigarette delivery truck, or if some nutjob jumped on her and forcefed her several cartons of Johnny Blue. The Nicorette ads are a bit better, I'd like to see the fat woman go 12 rounds with one of the life-size cigarette people. Bet she'd need a smoke after that.

[Jackass]

Tell me about it!! My g/f sais they're great, she's so real, sincere etc.!!! BULLSH!T!! she's anything but! She's just a crap actor trying to "act" reality TV, cause it's the buzz around for (what feels like) the last 50 years!!
I bet she doesn't even smoke, and never did to begin with...

wouldn't it be hilarious if she got run over by a cigarette delivery truck

I'll do it!! you just find me a truck and i'll steam role her ass! i HATE those adds!!!!

/me is narky already being in work and not had a smoke yet today

Canis Lupus

yeah the ad was definitely getting on my tits as well but I haven't seen it for a bit. If it was real that lady was possibly the biggest drama queen I have ever seen. The tragedy and trauma she went through just to give up. That ad makes me not want to give up if thats what I'm gonna have to go through.

dudara

Reality my shiny metal ass. Can I shoot her?

sionnach

its the billboard ads with the same woman that really annoy me. Each message is signed "sue, xxx"

Mr E

I think the problem is that we find it hard to relate to her.... She's talking about going to the pub, getting smoke blown in her face etc. And shes English.

If they did an Irish version of the ad, with an irish actress (yes, I said actress - there is no way "Sue" is a real person), we might relate to it more.

The ads before the 1st of January were even funnier. She looked like she was about to start cold turkey on a 15 year heroin addiction ("I d-d-don't know how I'll be able to do it".)

Ardent

I've only seen the ad a couple of time and already I hate the bitch. Do marketing people really think we are as thick as two short planks?!

AARRRGH

Isn't it nice that they showed the poors girls tragic life on the TV during the tsunami disaster? What a pathetic advert.

Also, (now I've nothing against English people) but I'm nearly certain she is an English person pretending to be Irish (similar to the "you'll be crawlin on de floor with laughter".)

galactus

Spot on. Talk about irritating.

Get those ones from the Carlsberg ad to kick her ass!

dahamsta

DubGuy22 wrote:

Tell me about it!! My g/f sais they're great, she's so real, sincere etc.

Your g/f is the most gullible woman on the planet. I hope for her sake she has nice tits...

yaledo

My g/f sais they're great

I've been wondering who the target market could be for that ad - I thought it must have been directed at the likes of me (a 20something smoker whose thinking of quitting), but maybe its directed at people who also enjoy watching reality TV. Does your girlfriend fall into this category?

JackieChan

The ads before the 1st of January were even funnier. She looked like she was about to start cold turkey on a 15 year heroin addiction ("I d-d-don't know how I'll be able to do it".)

*rofl*
Exactly what I thought!

I initially thought it was just been aimed at the Irish population exclusively(I must be very naive aswell!) until I realised her name was Sue and saw an add in an english magazine.

I think if Colin Farrell ever gives up smoking and wanted to help the world, that he would do a ****ing great add.
JC

skywalker

TmB wrote:

I think the problem is that we find it hard to relate to her.... She's talking about going to the pub, getting smoke blown in her face etc. And shes English.

If they did an Irish version of the ad, with an irish actress (yes, I said actress - there is no way "Sue" is a real person), we might relate to it more.

The ads before the 1st of January were even funnier. She looked like she was about to start cold turkey on a 15 year heroin addiction ("I d-d-don't know how I'll be able to do it".)

or maybe they could do the usual annoying thing of overdubbing it with irish voices, really pisses me off.

shes all over the bus shelters now aswell.

AARRRGH

This topic must make their marketing people delighted.

Adverts work!

Ardent

Just a side note:

Nicotine patches are a load of bollix. Nicotine addiction is the only reason people stay smoking against their better judgement yet these people will try to convince you that in order to give up cigarettes you need to use patches that fill your system with the very chemical you are trying to get free of.

Cold turkey Sue.

galactus

dublindude wrote:

This topic must make their marketing people delighted.

Adverts work!

Not really. As a result of the ad, I've decided to increase the number of cigs i smoke. If i ever do give up, it won't be using Niqutin

dahamsta

dublindude wrote:

This topic must make their marketing people delighted.

Only to gullible morons that believe the old myth that all publicity is good publicity. No offense like.

impr0v

Ardent wrote:

Do marketing people really think we are as thick as two short planks?!

Do you really want an answer to this?

dahamsta wrote:

Your g/f is the most gullible woman on the planet. I hope for her sake she has nice tits...

chuckle

dahamsta wrote:

Only to gullible morons that believe the old myth that all publicity is good publicity. No offense like.

The marketeers will nevertheless be happy with the free exposure of the brand name on a page that gets x number of views a day. Anyone who doesn't read the thread even gets to see the 'Niquitin' without the negative reaction to the ads.

magpie

Don't just stand there, complain! Go to the Advertising Standards Agency here and click on the 'how to make a complaint' link. You can do it on-line.

Why complain? Because a cynical advertising agency is using an actress, purporting to be a real person, in order to sell their product which is false advertising and intentionally misleading. There should be at very least an * with 'Sue is not a real person, she is a fictitious character invented to promote niquitin' at the bottom of every ad.

If enough of us can be bothered we might even get the annoying ads taken down. hooray.

AARRRGH

dahamsta wrote:

Only to gullible morons that believe the old myth that all publicity is good publicity. No offense like.

No, only gullible morons DON'T believe all publicity is good publicity.

Your anger towards the brand is only short term, but your memory of the brand is now long term...

dahamsta

dublindude wrote:

No, only gullible morons DON'T believe all publicity is good publicity.

Spoken like a true marketers dream.

Your anger towards the brand is only short term, but your memory of the brand is now long term...

What brand?

AARRRGH

Horsefumbler

ah here lay off sue. she's going through a rough time.



wanna talk about ads that are too unbearable to watch? Any of those ringtone ads on mtv - I just have to switch the channel

Ardent

dublindude wrote:

No, only gullible morons DON'T believe all publicity is good publicity.

Your anger towards the brand is only short term, but your memory of the brand is now long term...

I agree with this.

Chalk

i wanna know why night time patches dont work anymore?

they used to make specific night time patches, now they have ones that stop working when you got to bed or some jazz.

dahamsta

Ardent wrote:

I agree with this.

Ah, but does your guide dog agree with it?

Thank god Cloud and the lads haven't let the marketing nazis play in here properly, they'd have a feckin field day with all the gullible schmucks on Boards.

"There's a sucker born every minute." -- David Hannum

adam

Ardent

dahamsta wrote:

Ah, but does your guide dog agree with it?

Thank god Cloud and the lads haven't let the marketing nazis play in here properly, they'd have a feckin field day with all the gullible schmucks on Boards.

"There's a sucker born every minute." -- David Hannum

adam

I don't know what your problem is, maybe your old man is getting more action than you are or something, but that's three people already that you have thrown insults at on this thread.

/looks for the report button...

koneko

Ardent wrote:

I don't know what your problem is, maybe your old man is getting more action than you are or something, but that's three people already that you have thrown insults at on this thread.

Practice what you preach, hombre.

Ardent

koneko wrote:

Practice what you preach, hombre.

I guess I picked a bad day to give up cigarettes...

galactus

Lads! Lads! Calm down!

Sue would be disgusted at this carry-on. Slap on a patch or two will ye?

Ardent

Chalk wrote:

i wanna know why night time patches dont work anymore?

they used to make specific night time patches, now they have ones that stop working when you got to bed or some jazz.

Because...

Forgetting about patches for a second, when smokers are asleep, the nicotine withdrawal symptoms are so mild (generally for most smokers anyway) that they will not wake up. I don't know anyone who wakes up in the middle of the night going "Jaysis I need a fag!!".

So, common sense obviously kicked in eventually with the manufacturers of Niquitin or whatever it's called.

dahamsta

Ardent wrote:

So, common sense obviously kicked in eventually with the manufacturers of Niquitin or whatever it's called.

I think it's NyQuil or something.

"NyQuil, NyQuil, NyQuil, we love you! You giant f*cking Q!" -- Denis Leary

Now that's marketing.

adam

koneko

Ardent wrote:

I guess I picked a bad day to give up cigarettes...

Heh, "I guess I picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue" (love that film)

AARRRGH

Hi This Is Sue

I Don't Know Why I'm Using Dublindudes Boards Account

Sure You'll Be Craawwwlin On Dee Floor With Dee Laughter

Anyone Want A Date Tonight? Seriously Anything To Keep Me Off The Viagra Now The Nicotine Patches Have Stopped Working

If You Want To Meet Me Outside Zaytoon At Exactly 8pm (no Later!!!) Type 999.

Thanx.

viking

I'm waiting for the next installment of the ad, where Sue comes in and says:

I went out tonight for a few drinks.... Ended up getting pissed, scabbed a few smokes off a mate 'cos the shakes were soooo bad....

Christ, I felt good afterwards though. Sorry NiQuitin, I fúcked up... do I still get paid or wha'?

Somehow, I don't think thats what we'll see in the next one...

Viking

tintinr35

if you thought of her naked everytime you lit up you wud damn sure be off them in a week, go on i know u all have a mentel picture now!!!!!!!

Kingsize

"hairy" is the phrase that immediately comes to my mind

Mr E

As soon as the cheque clears, she'll be back to 20 a day....

[Jackass]

dahamsta wrote:

Your g/f is the most gullible woman on the planet. I hope for her sake she has nice tits...

There only alright...they could be bigger, and she could show them off a bit more...but wouldn't want to jepredise casual sex by bringing it up.

I've been wondering who the target market could be for that ad - I thought it must have been directed at the likes of me (a 20something smoker whose thinking of quitting), but maybe its directed at people who also enjoy watching reality TV. Does your girlfriend fall into this category?

Yes, very much so...she believes she is in the big brother house, and talks about those "celebreties" as though they are her friends :rolleyes: goog thing we dont keep a gun in the house, but i'd imigane thats the angel they are pushing alright....

Most anoying thing is the billboards...she signs the bottom "Sue xxx"

Lmao....couldnt agree more! although i did feel better when someone grafiti'd a penis on her head on the billboard outside spar in sandymount

Dr. Loon

Horsefumbler wrote:

I just have to switch the channel

Jesus, what a fúckin crazy idea!?! It just might work. I recommend you all do this when any ad that irritates you comes on TV. The one that's currently doing my nut is the KFC with the singing. Guess what I do. I turn the channel. I know, I know.... pretty radical solution but it works.

Your g/f is the most gullible woman on the planet. I hope for her sake she has nice tits...

Was gonna say something similar myself. Genius.

dahamsta

DubGuy22 wrote:

There only alright...they could be bigger, and she could show them off a bit more...but wouldn't want to jepredise casual sex by bringing it up.

You have casual sex with your girlfriend? I'm guessing she explained what casual sex is...

galactus

Sue's just been on the telly again. Time to write to the local TD

Pigman II

I'm still waiting for the spin-off 'quit drink' campaign where Sue's B/F staggers home drunk, tells her to STFU with her bloody whining, slaps her around for a full 30 seconds ands finishes by blaming the booze, apologising profusly and vowing to never drink again!

Lorcan26

I have to say i love those ads because theyre so funny and unrealistic. shes the biggest drama queen i've met! the other ad i like is the one for splenda (the fake sugar) and i'm dying for the hormonal drugged mother to say one day
"it's not sugar in my sugar bowl, it's crack"

[Jackass]

Lorcan26 wrote:

I have to say i love those ads because theyre so funny and unrealistic. shes the biggest drama queen i've met!

You've met her!!? I hope you kicked her in the fanny!

Big Ears

Pigman II wrote:

I'm still waiting for the spin-off 'quit drink' campaign where Sue's B/F staggers home drunk, tells her to STFU with her bloody whining, slaps her around for a full 30 seconds ands finishes by blaming the booze, apologising profusly and vowing to never drink again!

[wipes tear from eye after laughter] , awh wheres that + rep button .

"it's not sugar in my sugar bowl, it's crack" , now ive really got to find that button .

impr0v

Watch for Sue to become not only cigarette free, but thinner, more attractive and more assertive as the campaign goes on.

/me lights marlboro red while sporting more patches than a 10 year old tractor tyre.

Caesar_Bojangle

dublindude wrote:

This topic must make their marketing people delighted.

Adverts work!

No they don't. I'm going to take up smoking (maybe those chocolate cigarettes) and use a rival brand like nicorette to quit. Its going to be the hardest thing I'll ever do but I'll kick the habit with the help from some nicorette patches.

[Jackass]

You think i wanna endup like fu<king Sue!!! Im never giving up smoking that b!tch has freaked me out so much!!

galactus

impr0v wrote:

Watch for Sue to become not only cigarette free, but thinner, more attractive and more assertive as the campaign goes on.

Let's kidnap her and force-feed the cow packs of Major.

Back up to 40 a day and looking like ****e, Sue begins a career in the telephone sex industry:

Cravings? Call Sue now on 1800 69 69 69. You know you want a smoke you bad boy!

Draupnir

Theres a new one of these out lately, shes got tickets to America, jesus christ I wanna kill that bitch. Could she be more annoying?