Uh Ohhh........

[Jackass]

I have this friend who studies medicine, and recently it came up in conversation that i hold in a piss untill the very last minute, untill i HAVE TO go, either because im doing something or sometimes just because im one of the laziest people in Dublin, and pissing my pants dosent merrit getting off the couch, i swear, sometimes its a photo finsih!!
Anyway, he sais that holding it in all the time weakens my bladder, and at this rate, by the time im 40 i'll be in nappies!! I thought he was taking the piss (pardon the pun), but now i notice when i'm out on the piss (damnit! the word has so many meanings!!) with my mates, im goin to the jacks way more than they are...am i just paranoid or could this actually be true!!!!?
Am i destined to spend the rest of my days sleeping on plastic sheets and smelling like your grandmother? Do i need to find some sucker to marry before im forty, so she can mop up my piss all day while i live off disability funding??!!? Im only 21, but i'd like to know now, just incase it comes early!

Blub2k4

Well it seems like a good idea to ask Boards members, surely they know more than a med student.

Lump

Yes it's true.

John

Maximilian

I'd give you six months to live, at best.

woosaysdan

just piss in your pants go with the flow!!!

BuffyBot

Perhaps you'll die..

Zombienosh

You'll be the coolest kid with incontinence knickers.

Dr. Loon

From some web-site;

Some women believe that holding the urine in for prolonged periods makes the bladder "strong." In truth, the muscular sac that makes up the bladder becomes thin and weak when stretched repeatedly to hold large volumes of urine. This bladder loses sensation and won't notify its owner of impending fullness and the need to void, leading again, to overflow incontinence.

monkeyfudge

I for one am going to go to the toilet right now... better safe than sorry...

ferdi

is being in nappies really such a tragedy?

monkeyfudge

Ahhhhhh.....

In the building were I work the mens toilets are really far away... it's takes ten minutes to get there and back... it encourages holding it in...

And when I think back to when I was in school and all those evil teachers who wouldn't ever give you permission to go to the toilet. Oh.. there's nothing worse than dying to go the the toilet and not being able to...

irlirishkev

Just buy some nappies now, and go whenever you feel like it.
Think of all the drinking time you're wasting by going to the jacks when you're in the pub. Stick on a nappy before you leave the house.. problem solved!

woosaysdan

should be fun to explain if you score that night though!!!

Blub2k4

Dr. Loon wrote:

From some web-site;

Some women believe that holding the urine in for prolonged periods makes the bladder "strong." In truth, the muscular sac that makes up the bladder becomes thin and weak when stretched repeatedly to hold large volumes of urine. This bladder loses sensation and won't notify its owner of impending fullness and the need to void, leading again, to overflow incontinence.

Ah, aint it great to see modern medicine validated by Boards, I know I'm not going to a doctor again, just pop in here and ask, it'll save me a fortune.

Here's one for you all, when I drink guinness then the next day my poo is black, anyone know what this is all about?

tman

Blub2k4 wrote:

Here's one for you all, when I drink guinness then the next day my poo is black, anyone know what this is all about?

guinness is pure evil. this is merely the devil coming out of you

Blub2k4

tman wrote:

guinness is pure evil. this is merely the devil coming out of you

Thank you Dr Tman, I was worried for a minute there.

irlirishkev

tman wrote:

guinness is pure evil. this is merely the devil coming out of you

Or... Guinness is pure Goodness.. The Goodness pushes out the evil within, in the form of black stuff! Smelly black stuff.

Blub2k4

Blub2k4 wrote:

Thank you Dr Tman, I was worried for a minute there.

Could have sworn it was Prof. Tman

Blub2k4

irlirishkev wrote:

Or... Guinness is pure Goodness.. The Goodness pushes out the evil within, in the form of black stuff! Smelly black stuff.

Damn, now it's getting scientific, Professor Tman ( my apologies for former gaffe) , any comeback, can you verify this blackness= evil not guinness, expurged by Guinness theory?

Jonny Arson

DubGuy22 wrote:

I have this friend who studies medicine, and recently it came up in conversation that i hold in a piss untill the very last minute, untill i HAVE TO go, either because im doing something or sometimes just because im one of the laziest people in Dublin, and pissing my pants dosent merrit getting off the couch, i swear, sometimes its a photo finsih!!
Anyway, he sais that holding it in all the time weakens my bladder, and at this rate, by the time im 40 i'll be in nappies!! I thought he was taking the piss (pardon the pun), but now i notice when i'm out on the piss (damnit! the word has so many meanings!!) with my mates, im goin to the jacks way more than they are...am i just paranoid or could this actually be true!!!!?
Am i destined to spend the rest of my days sleeping on plastic sheets and smelling like your grandmother? Do i need to find some sucker to marry before im forty, so she can mop up my piss all day while i live off disability funding??!!? Im only 21, but i'd like to know now, just incase it comes early!

Piss off!

[Jackass]

Dr. Loon wrote:

From some web-site;

oohhhhhh crap! Im screwed!! I cant wait to see the expression on the next girl i bring home's face when i tear off my cacks to reveal a man nappie!! :eek: How the fook am i gonna explain that?!?!

On the plus side though, i can crap myself when im out instead of using a rancid public can, and then just clean it up/throw it away when i get home!

Good thing i don't drink guinness or i'd be carrying around a bar of lead in my nappy all day!, i drink bulmers, so i just squirt yellow liquid followed by chunks :cool:.

GUINNESS IS EVIL! THE GUINNEE POO COMES OUT THE SAME TIME YOU HAVE SOBERD UP....IT'S THE EVIL LEAVING YOUR BODY!

irlirishkev

DubGuy22 wrote:

oohhhhhh crap! Im screwed!! I cant wait to see the expression on the next girl i bring home's face when i tear off my cacks to reveal a man nappie!! :eek: How the fook am i gonna explain that?!?!

On the plus side though, i can crap myself when im out instead of using a rancid public can, and then just clean it up/throw it away when i get home!

Good thing i don't drink guinness or i'd be carrying around a bar of lead in my nappy all day!, i drink bulmers, so i just squirt yellow liquid followed by chunks :cool:.

GUINNESS IS EVIL! THE GUINNEE POO COMES OUT THE SAME TIME YOU HAVE SOBERD UP....IT'S THE EVIL LEAVING YOUR BODY!

I'm a Bulmers man too!
All hail the appley poo!!

NikNik

"Some women believe that holding the urine in for prolonged periods makes the bladder "strong." In truth, the muscular sac that makes up the bladder becomes thin and weak when stretched repeatedly to hold large volumes of urine. This bladder loses sensation and won't notify its owner of impending fullness and the need to void, leading again, to overflow incontinence"

Most women know that holding it in doesn't make the bladder strong, but tightens the pelvic floor muscles, as does stopping mid-flow. This technique can help you achieve the "Singapore grip"....

Blub2k4

I think the excercise is called Kegels.

tman

Blub2k4 wrote:

Damn, now it's getting scientific, Professor Tman ( my apologies for former gaffe) , any comeback, can you verify this blackness= evil not guinness, expurged by Guinness theory?

further field tests are needed before i can provide you with concrete proof.
a supple young female volunteer shall be required...
the subject shall be examined throughout the course of the night, and a full rectal exam (and possibly excorcism) shall be carried when we get back to my place

robbie1876

From the Guinness (lol) book of Records:

In 1994, New Yorker Jeff Stone deposited a stool measuring 3ft 2 inches in length unbroken and uncoiled. He said he was out the night before with some Irish friends and was drinking Guinness. The sample was kept in the Human Science Museum in New York, as it was unusually long for a turd.

NikNik

sorry im bein rude, im new here, hello all
p.s. sorry didnt know how 2 do reply with quote
oh, by the way...

Big Brother's Lisa I'Anson has a secret. A
former boyfriend once boasted that she has
such fantastic control of her vaginal muscles
that she can perform the "Singapore Grip" -
an advanced sexual technique that makes the
man feel as though he's is receiving
a vigorous hand-job.

...for anyone wondering

BEAT

tman wrote:

further field tests are needed before i can provide you with concrete proof.
a supple young female volunteer shall be required...
the subject shall be examined throughout the course of the night, and a full rectal exam (and possibly excorcism) shall be carried when we get back to my place

Well, in the name of science, I will allow Tman to take me home and poke and prod me till he has ...finished his ahem, field tests

tman

NikNik wrote:

sorry im bein rude, im new here, hello all
p.s. sorry didnt know how 2 do reply with quote
oh, by the way...

Big Brother's Lisa I'Anson has a secret. A
former boyfriend once boasted that she has
such fantastic control of her vaginal muscles
that she can perform the "Singapore Grip" -
an advanced sexual technique that makes the
man feel as though he's is receiving
a vigorous hand-job.

...for anyone wondering

cor blimey :eek:

just click the quote button at the bottom of someone's post btw.

attagirl BEAT. its all in the name of science and stuff after all :cool:

Blub2k4

To be perfectly scientific though Beat will have to drink two gallons of Guiness first.

<edit> not that she'd need it or anything to allow tman to err poke her (ooh err mrs) :rolleyes:

MrBigglesworth

Admit it, you're pissing yourself right now, aren't ya?

BEAT

Blub2k4 wrote:

To be perfectly scientific though Beat will have to drink two gallons of Guiness first.

<edit> not that she'd need it or anything to allow tman to err poke her (ooh err mrs) :rolleyes:

hmmm 2 gallons of Guinness and Tman poking and prodding me,
sounds like I have plans for friday night!
teehee

tman

you do realise that my eh... "project" is unfunded as we speak. i can just about stretch to paying for a packet of peanuts. you'll have to pay for the guinness.

/me dons labcoat

Blub2k4

Ai but think of what you'll save on Rohypnol this weekend!!!

BEAT

tman wrote:

you do realise that my eh... "project" is unfunded as we speak. i can just about stretch to paying for a packet of peanuts. you'll have to pay for the guinness.

/me dons labcoat

I'll pass on the peanuts, they make me a little gassy tbh :P
I will roll a keg over to ya, should be enough for the night between the 2 of us , let the research begin!

Gilgamesh

errrr... ummmm... don't you need someone to take notes for the report?

Blub2k4

Gilgamesh wrote:

errrr... ummmm... don't you need someone to take notes for the report?

Convening a scientific committee, top idea, others ( in non-scientific circles) might call it a gang bang.

Gilgamesh

Blub2k4 wrote:

Convening a scientific committee, top idea, others ( in non-scientific circles) might call it a gang bang.

why are you going to be making notes aswel? :eek:

Blub2k4

Nope I might bring along a camera for the Scientific ehhh journals, yes that's it journals.

Gilgamesh

still or video? if Video, we could make a Documentary out of it aswell.
okay, got the note taker, the photographer/cameraman, who's going to be the commentator?

cajun_tiger

this is funny but to get back on topic slightly(sorry if it bothers you ) yes holding in is bad for you, but stopping mid flow is good for men and women. you can though fix yourself in good time your only 21 so stop being as lazy(i know we cant ask a man to stop being lazy altogether... you can die from shock you know) but start going more regularly when you get the urge go( B.K.)

But just to help slide off topic again, verbal notes i find the best if you cant get anyone to take some for you so have the camera taking stills and you can make a flick book with sound

Gilgamesh

cajun_tiger wrote:

But just to help slide off topic again, verbal notes i find the best if you cant get anyone to take some for you

so your going to be commentating?

Blub2k4

But just to help slide off topic again, verbal notes i find the best if you cant get anyone to take some for you so have the camera taking stills and you can make a flick book with sound

something along the lines of "oh ja do me big boy ja", for scientific accuracy, the Europeans like their science too you know.

Gilgamesh

how do you translate 'oh ja do me big boy ja' into several different languages though.
will need tons of linguists for this one.
think we'll have to book a bigger room for it

Blub2k4

Yes possibly some "cunning linguists" might fit the bill.

BEAT

Blub2k4 wrote:

Yes possibly some "cunning linguists" might fit the bill.

hahaha nice play on words there, I wonder if anyone else got that

btw, I come supplied with my own video cam...though I am sure Tman has a whole studio set up in his room already ...something tells me he does *research* a lot

cajun_tiger

or just one person good with tounges

Gilgamesh

maybe even someone who can 'lip' read would help?

cajun_tiger

*thinks to self* i love being dirty

BEAT

cajun_tiger wrote:

*thinks to self* i love being dirty

in that case perhaps you should join in on this *study* hehehe

cajun_tiger

i love the smurfs dirty pic