Help! Drop out dilemma

Sangre

Quite the respone there.
Im sorry if you feel these people are obligated to make friends with you or talk to you. Whats the point in making new friends if you're never going to see them again? Thats why they stick together. If you walk into a lecture and see two seats free, one beside your best friends and one beside a complete stranger, who are you going to pick? (And not it isnt a hot girl )

Look, of course there are stupid, ignorant people. Do you know why? Because they are people.

You do realise that these people are being judged 10x worse then you judge them.

You seem angry Zane, maybe you should go make some friends.

Oh, and how can they be snobby or cliquey if you dont know them? I also have already pointed out why they would be cliquey. They already have friends.

Jonny Arson

Sangre wrote:

Im sorry if you feel these people are obligated to make friends with you or talk to you.

Did I ever say that people are obligated to make friends with me? No. As I have said before so I'll explain myself again since you obviously don't have the intelligence to understand what I have been talking about, people are not bothered in getting to know other people. As I have said before I've tried so f**king hard by being friendly to people and starting conversations, if you keep on getting knocked back by people because of their lack of interest in getting to know others you would get extremley pissed off with everyone. The fact that I've not come across one new genuine person who is willing to build a friendship has left me extremely dissillusioned with UCD. There are many people out here with who I've clicked with but the problem is with these people for not building on anything. It is natural to expect that people should be friendly and willing to move forward with their lives by interacting with new faces but the case is no one is bothered. Again i do want to emphasise that it is not just the D4/southside people just like this. Some country people are just as bad when it comes to not bothering with anyone else apart from their cliques.

Sangre wrote:

You seem angry Zane, maybe you should go make some friends.

Yes I'm f**king angry. Your advice to me to go and make some friends when you constantly defend the people who dont bother to make friends is the most hyprocritical load of laughable BULLS**T I've heard. If you read my previous posts in the thread you will see how I've made great efforts to get to know people. So how am I meant to make friends out here when in your world it is exceptable for no one to bother to get to know any new people? I'm have friends from outside of college and I have no problem making communication with people outside Belfield. Its only in Belfield that I experience this horrible atmosphere and from what people have described to me there is nothing like this in any other colleges. Some coincidence that UCD is located in the heart of Dublin 4 isn't it?

I would happily bet my mortgage that you are one of these D4 kids as you sound quite stuck up your own arse yourself.

Blut

Zane, I think the problem might be more in you than in the people around you.

I started first arts in september not knowing anyone doing it - now Ive a fairly close circle of about 10 people I hang around with / go out with a couple of times a week..plus loads of acquaintances that Id know enough to talk to for 20min in a bar or whatever if I had to. What did I do different from you? I didnt 'expect' a wonderful college experience or try hard to make friends...I ran into one bloke from my old school and we met a couple of girls then met their friends, then another day I got talking with a girl Id been talking to out the night before and got to know her/her friends etc. I think you came into college expecting it to be a magical pixie land where everyone talked to randomers and ditched their friends and when they didnt you sulked. That or you were far too eager to make friends and came over as a sleazebag with girls / weirdo with guys. If youve permanently got a 'I DESPERATELY NEED FRIENDS' or a 'I hate the world. Theyre all bastards who wont talk to me.' look on your face you of course arent going to attract many new people...

As for the whole d4 clique hate thing, maybe if you actually talked to them while in a social situation (student bar, bondi whatever) you might get a better reaction than just staring and grumbling about their clothes and their having friends..you cant expect people to ditch friends they know on the off chance that they *might* meet some new people in lectures.

Jonny Arson

Blut wrote:

Zane, I think the problem might be more in you than in the people around you.

I started first arts in september not knowing anyone doing it - now Ive a fairly close circle of about 10 people I hang around with / go out with a couple of times a week..plus loads of acquaintances that Id know enough to talk to for 20min in a bar or whatever if I had to. What did I do different from you? I didnt 'expect' a wonderful college experience or try hard to make friends...I ran into one bloke from my old school and we met a couple of girls then met their friends, then another day I got talking with a girl Id been talking to out the night before and got to know her/her friends etc. I think you came into college expecting it to be a magical pixie land where everyone talked to randomers and ditched their friends and when they didnt you sulked. That or you were far too eager to make friends and came over as a sleazebag with girls / weirdo with guys. If youve permanently got a 'I DESPERATELY NEED FRIENDS' or a 'I hate the world. Theyre all bastards who wont talk to me.' look on your face you of course arent going to attract many new people...

As for the whole d4 clique hate thing, maybe if you actually talked to them while in a social situation (student bar, bondi whatever) you might get a better reaction than just staring and grumbling about their clothes and their having friends..you cant expect people to ditch friends they know on the off chance that they *might* meet some new people in lectures.

First off I see that you are writing from a completely different perspective than me so our difference in opinion is going to be vastly different so alot of what you wrote there is your opinion on a situation that you are not currently in but I'm living this situation at the moment so you don't quite grasp what I've been talking about throughout the thread.

You have been lucky enough to meet a group of people and I have not. I think with anyone who is in my situation would be pissed off with UCD especially as I have described in this thread my efforts to get to know people.

You say my problem is that I expected a wonderful college experience? Why shouldn't anyone not expect a great college experience? These are the first years of general freedom in our lives so I think it is completely natural to expect that people would be on a high being in University and willing to move forward in their lives,ave a great time and get to know new faces.

Have I tried way too hard to make friends? Honestly I wish I tried harder in the early weeks. I have never been pushy with people. I have never expected that everyone should be friends with me. HoweverI'm a friendly guy with a good sense of humour so I never expected to be in this situation. I don't see how making a convo with a person about college life or background can make someone a sleazebag or a weirdo. I don't see anything wrong with being friendly by asking an aquaintance meet up for a lecture or lunch. You obviously see that being friendly towards people is a sign of being desperate so in your world talking to people about anything in general makes you desperate? Yeah right.

Also I never said people should dump their friends. I meant that people should try to branch out and get to know other people for their own sakes. There are people who will stick around with their secondary school friends for the entire three years. If I was to stick around the same people all the time it would do my frickin' head in. I mostly still hang around with my school friend out here. He's a cool bloke but honestly being around him all the time does my head in sometimes and thats nothing against him at all but I crave to meet new people unlike so many others out here. One of my so called 'friends' dumped me at the begining of the year because he is a genuine asshole so I would be the last person to expect people should dump their mates.

What pisses me off about your post is that you presume that I must have the most agressive face on me in the planet. I'm a very approachable person, very friendly and always am there to help others. Of course I'm pissed off with the people who I have encountered out here. If you have tried like me you would be pissed off but that won't stop me from being friendly to people who make an effort towards me, I'm just cutting down on me starting the conversation thing and let people approach me.

Again as I said earlier not all D4 people are snobs but it cannot be denied that the majority are stuck up snobs. Some country people are the same but from anyone who I have talked to everyone agrees that there is an awful clique element with D4/southsiders, even a couple of student advisers have acknowledged this aswell.

Try to understand that just because things are hunky dory for you that does not mean for isolated people like me its their fault that they are in this situation. I'm the only one who can truly understand my experience so in future try to look at things from other people's perspectives rather than your own.

Sangre

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

. As I have said before so I'll explain myself again since you obviously don't have the intelligence to understand what I have

I'm not the one doing Arts tbh.

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

As I have said before I've tried so f**king hard by being friendly to people and starting conversations, if you keep on getting knocked back by people because of their lack of interest in getting to know others you would get extremley pissed off with everyone

Try harder.

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

I would happily bet my mortgage that you are one of these D4 kids as you sound quite stuck up your own arse yourself.

Does it matter?

Slash/ED

Sangre wrote:

I'm not the one doing Arts tbh.

Can't argue with that

Mr.Nice Guy

Sangre wrote:

I'm not the one doing Arts tbh.

Is there any particular reason you're acting like such a w*nker?This thread was about a guy struggling to fit in.He's not the only one who feels this way as the many replies show.
Your comments have been snide and unnecessary.

Chinafoot

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

Is there any particular reason you're acting like such a w*nker?This thread was about a guy struggling to fit in.He's not the only one who feels this way as the many replies show.
Your comments have been snide and unnecessary.

agreed!

i have to laugh at all these "arts isnt a real degree" people......how the fúck would you know? i did rather well in my Leaving Certificate and i chose arts because i wanted something broad and something interesting....and i am quite happy! oh and even though we may have fewer hours a week doesnt mean there isnt a shít load of work involved. (had to buy 7 books today grrrrr)

i chose to do something that interests me and yet doesnt pigeon-hole me into one specific career. just because i picked something different doesnt mean im going to put down people who chose something like engineering or science. i am more than prepared (and happy) to continue on my studies after i get my degree because at 21 i want to do more travelling and live a little and then decide what i would like to do for the next 40 years.

but thats just me......

Mr.Nice Guy

peachypants wrote:

but thats just me......

No,it's me too!I'm not sure what I want to do with the rest of my life so I chose to do Arts feeling that an Arts degree would be useful to have behind me with its broad range of subject matter.I got a good Leaving Cert as well and I object to people claiming it is a piece of cake.It isn't,as you have pointed out.

Blut

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

First off I see that you are writing from a completely different perspective than me so our difference in opinion is going to be vastly different so alot of what you wrote there is your opinion on a situation that you are not currently in but I'm living this situation at the moment so you don't quite grasp what I've been talking about throughout the thread.

Hold on, so because Ive made friends my advice on how you can make friends isnt worthwhile? ...

You say my problem is that I expected a wonderful college experience? Why shouldn't anyone not expect a great college experience? These are the first years of general freedom in our lives so I think it is completely natural to expect that people would be on a high being in University and willing to move forward in their lives,ave a great time and get to know new faces.

This is exactly the magical pixie land I was talking about, all this talk of 'best time of our lives' is what got up your hopes..its exactly the same as 6th year but with going out during the week and more time in bed, really.

I don't see how making a convo with a person about college life or background can make someone a sleazebag or a weirdo. You obviously see that being friendly towards people is a sign of being desperate so in your world talking to people about anything in general makes you desperate? Yeah right.

If Im talking to my friends in a lecture and some random guy beside me tried to butt in with talk about the student union or some other college crap then yeah, I would find it weird and would probably do my best to ignore him.

What pisses me off about your post is that you presume that I must have the most agressive face on me in the planet.

Thats just how you come over on the internet anyway

Again as I said earlier not all D4 people are snobs but it cannot be denied that the majority are stuck up snobs. Some country people are the same but from anyone who I have talked to everyone agrees that there is an awful clique element with D4/southsiders, even a couple of student advisers have acknowledged this aswell.

Have you actually ever gone up to one 'd4 person' and had them tell you to go away because you didnt go to a private school? No? ..because that sort of **** doesnt happen, if you actually talked to these people instead of just complaining about how stuck up they are then youd understand that. I really find all these generalisations hilarious, its like living in the American South in the 40s with all the talk of 'the blackies' and their devil weed and lazyness.

I'm the only one who can truly understand my experience so in future try to look at things from other people's perspectives rather than your own.

This is again the whole 'ohhh woe is me' angst you should be trying to get rid of, take a walk on the sunny side of life and all that.

Again, the best thing you can do is start going out with your current friends to events. Youll deffo talk to / score people at them who youll see in college (and give people the impression that you arent the type of loser who spends all his time whining on the internet!).

uberwolf

before this degenerates completely into a D4 vs Culchies vs Townies stand off, please bear in mind that this thread is someone looking for advice who is having a hard time of it. I'm letting this go for the time being but some of you are on the line of personal abuse. Cross it and a fortnights ban is yours.

Töpher

peachypants wrote:

i have to laugh at all these "arts isnt a real degree" people......how the fúck would you know? i did rather well in my Leaving Certificate and i chose arts because i wanted something broad and something interesting....and i am quite happy! oh and even though we may have fewer hours a week doesnt mean there isnt a shít load of work involved. (had to buy 7 books today grrrrr)

Could have guessed you were on arts anyways Use the library Do they have nice drawings though?

On a more to the point thought, Zane, don't get so hung up on it. The more you do that the more desperate you will seem to others. Try to be content in yourself and things will change. I think subconsciously you're probably seriously lacking in self-esteem, and no matter what you think it does show and take an effect on your personality. Either that your you're a closet transvestite. There are plenty of snobs etc in UCD, but there are plenty of very nice people too. Don't dress like a depressive 13-year old "I hate my parents and noone understands me" minirocker, and if all else fails, go talk to some of the geeks hanging about in the Science buliding. They need people to talk to too. [Tho I can't see them being much fun on a night out!]

Jonny Arson

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

Is there any particular reason you're acting like such a w*nker?This thread was about a guy struggling to fit in.He's not the only one who feels this way as the many replies show.
Your comments have been snide and unnecessary.

Thanks for sticking up for us there Mr. Nice Guy. Its such a shame that there are t*ssers of the likes of Sangre and Blut infesting this thread.

I don't have a problem with people expressing their personal opinion on this topic but to openly have a go at me as a person and demean my personality when they don't even know me shows their true rudeness and arrogance. Up until the last few days everyone who has posted on this thread has been extemely supportive, advising me how to approach my time out here and have posted so many words of encouragement but the likes of Sangre and Blut have only one goal and thats to boost their massive overinflated egos by making themselves feel great by putting others down. People like them have no soul and will NEVER get anywhere in life with their attitudes. I can already see their sarcastic replys coming in and honestly I don't give a f*ck what they have to say.

Chinafoot

Einst&#252 wrote: »

Could have guessed you were on arts anyways

that being the point of the post and all..... :rolleyes:

Einst&#252 wrote: »

Use the library Do they have nice drawings though?

the library is crap and yea theres loads of nice drawings in english and history :rolleyes:

anyway Zane, i would recommend going to the proposed College Beers and i'm sure you'll meet some nice people there to make friends with.
with UCD being so big an impersonal i'm sure there's plenty of people in the same boat as yourself.

Red Alert

Yeah come to the college beers or if we ever manage to do a UCD boards beers. You never mentioned what interests you have - do you play sports, or are you into music or what? Maybe if you pursued something you're interested in you might meet a whole load of people in clubs etc. and there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of snobbery in sports clubs. If all else fails join the canoe club - they're a friendly lot!

Sangre

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

Thanks for sticking up for us there Mr. Nice Guy. Its such a shame that there are t*ssers of the likes of Sangre and Blut infesting this thread.

I don't have a problem with people expressing their personal opinion on this topic but to openly have a go at me as a person and demean my personality when they don't even know me shows their true rudeness and arrogance. Up until the last few days everyone who has posted on this thread has been extemely supportive, advising me how to approach my time out here and have posted so many words of encouragement but the likes of Sangre and Blut have only one goal and thats to boost their massive overinflated egos by making themselves feel great by putting others down. People like them have no soul and will NEVER get anywhere in life with their attitudes. I can already see their sarcastic replys coming in and honestly I don't give a f*ck what they have to say.

I seem to recall you starting it with the line:

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

I would happily bet my mortgage that you are one of these D4 kids as you sound quite stuck up your own arse yourself.

So maybe you're the one who shouldn't be such a tosser.
Even if Im a tosser, at least I'm a tosser with friends.

On the whole issue of encouragement. Is this the Ucd forum or the make me feel better forum?

peachypants wrote:

i chose to do something that interests me and yet doesnt pigeon-hole me into one specific career

Yeah, thats because it doesnt give you any options

Mr.Nice Guy

Can someone please ban Sangre?He has not listened to the reasonable request from the moderator,uberwolf,to keep on topic and he seems intent on turning this thread into a slanging match.

Slash/ED

Yeah I don't want to be the PC Police but cut down on the abuse would you lads, I'm finding this thread very interesting and don't want to see it closed.

Sangre

I haven't said anything wrong.
I gave him advice.
When did I abuse anyone?

Chinafoot

Sangre wrote:

So maybe you're the one who shouldn't be such a tosser.
Even if Im a tosser, at least I'm a tosser with friends.

Sangre wrote:

Is this the Ucd forum or the make me feel better forum?

Sangre wrote:

Yeah, thats because it doesnt give you any options

and those are just from your last delightful post. :rolleyes:

Sangre

1) I was replying to his post calling me a tosser.
2) There was a smilie after the Arts comment.

So maybe we should all stop patting Zane on the back and realise that he is the abusive one.

Slash/ED

Of all the things about Zane I don't think you could call him abusive tbf, if you get wound up by him just ignore him I suppose, it's better than just getting into an argument and either getting the thread closed or something like that.

Sangre

It doesn't wind me up. I just think its funny how people ignored what he said and focused their attention on mine.

I guess d4s are a sensitive subject in UCD.

And its his own fault if this thread gets closed.

Seraphina

yeah in fairness Zane i know you're having a tough time making friends, but **** happens like. i've spent the last year and a half by myself, i'd be lucky to talk to a single person on an average day, but you dont hear me ****ing bitching and cursing everyone in ucd. you just gotta get on with it. it's depressing as **** and really affecting my self esteem and ability to work, but thats life man. you cant expect everything to go your way. just be glad you have the opportunity to actually go to college and get a decent education and stop worrying that you're not going out enough and that you're not mr. popular.

Chinafoot

he asked for advice and people have been giving it. nobody is "patting him on the back". :rolleyes: he's being very honest and it cant be easy to admit to being lonely and wanting to drop out.

oh and as for your smiley.....from the tone of your previous posts theres not enough smilies in the world that would make me think you were joking and not making a snide and derogatory comment.

anyway this has gone way off topic again so im stopping before i get in trouble over you.

Mr.Nice Guy

Sangre wrote:

I haven't said anything wrong.
I gave him advice.
When did I abuse anyone?

You gave advice and didn't offer abuse?Yeah right.Heres what you said to him on 14/02/ at 23:24:

"You seem angry Zane,maybe you should go make some friends."

This is a snide comment since the thread is about how hard it is to make friends in UCD.

Here's what you say on 15/02/ at 19:49:

"I'm not the one doing Arts tbh."

An arrogant and ignorant comment implying that all Arts students are thick.

"Try harder"

This is your "advice" when Zane explains he has been trying hard to be friendly.Peachypants pointed out your other snide comments.

I have no idea why you chose to hijack this thread and to get personal.

Blut

Slash/ED wrote:

Of all the things about Zane I don't think you could call him abusive tbf, if you get wound up by him just ignore him I suppose, it's better than just getting into an argument and either getting the thread closed or something like that.

Eh in fairness before sangres last post we were both nothing but helpful, yet he goes off and calls us 'soulless tossers'? And when he says he'd bring a gun to college and shoot people if he could? If we were in America he'd probably be arrested for making posts like that on a college board...

Anyway Ill say my advice again in case it gets lost in the flames, go to bondi go to the student union bar get wasted get talking to randomers, easy peasy!

breadmonkey

I think you should just re-apply and do something else next year, it's not worth all this hassle

kasintahan

Seraphina wrote:

i've spent the last year and a half by myself, i'd be lucky to talk to a single person on an average day.

sidles up slowly...

Exar Khun

*eats his popcorn*

only on the internet....................