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Red Dwarf Charter

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  • 02-01-2005 4:56pm
    #1
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 4,082 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Rules

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    Please don't as it makes a mockery of this forum.

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    Red Dwarf is not for rubbish so no off the topic subjects or they will be deleted.

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    (May be updated as the Forum Progresses)

    Please use common sense when using this Forum and if there is any trouble PM me or contact another Moderator or the Boards.ie Admins
    If there are any suggestion on this Forum please post it or contact me and we will see what we can do.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,842 ✭✭✭steveland?


    UL Forum?


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 4,082 Mod ✭✭✭✭Nukem


    Whack from Steve D - Fixed :p


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,526 ✭✭✭*adele*


    hey whats red dwarf(is this gonna be another " u dont kno??!" embarrassin moments?)


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 4,082 Mod ✭✭✭✭Nukem


    Brilliant cult comedy about space (just having a laugh) - well funny.
    Its usually on UK 1/2 or living or UTC and sometimes BBC


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,842 ✭✭✭steveland?


    Also you can get DVDs of the first 5 series (6th coming next month) which is the best way to see them imo

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/index=dvd-uk&field-keywords=red%20dwarf/ref=xs_ap_l_xgl/026-2892485-5549263


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  • Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 9,855 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tenger


    steveland? wrote:
    Also you can get DVDs of the first 5 series (6th coming next month) [/url]


    Just got Series VII delivered to my door,what a time to be without a working DVD player. It looks very good as it has remastered effects and 3 extended episodes. Then this series was where it started to go bad.Rimmer is only in 3 or 4 episodes.
    Gotta love all the cheesy lines,i had a penguin hand puppet at college that helped me score once!! Well it was Maynooth!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,842 ✭✭✭steveland?


    I've fallen behind, Season 5 was the last I bought.

    Must get the new ones soon, Season 6 was one of my favourites, season 7 had some stonkers of episodes... I hate when people write season 7 off...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    Series 1 and 2 were the best IMHO, series 3 was good, but it took a while to adapt to all the changes. Series 4 was excellent, series 5 and 6 were good, series 7 stank to high heaven, Kochanski(sp?) was sh*te in this series. Series 8 picked up again, I love the odd couple thing they had going with Lister and Rimmer, it was more predominant in this series than any other. also Kochanski got better as a character in this one.

    what was the big idea of getting a female Holly in series 3, she was terrible, the guy Holly is fantastic


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17 Lealonie


    yeah early series of RD were brill, especially liked the pot noodle jokes but that's me i only ever remember stuff about food :). thought it stunk later on, still watched it tho,


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,842 ✭✭✭steveland?


    Lealonie wrote:
    thought i stunk later on
    I agree you did ;)

    The Pot Noodle jokes continued though, remember in the "good" red dwarf in the episode of series 5 where Red Dwarf gets split into good and bad? Angels and Devils or something was it?

    "Let's put it to the ultimate test... let's see if it can make an edible Pot Noodle"


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17 Lealonie


    now i changed it to avoid any further embaressment :o

    yeah i remember that 1 :) i must bust out the DVDs and watch 'em all again, spent a fortune buyin 8 seasons off play.com and haven't watched 'em yet

    i can't remember which season this one is from but Rimmer and Lister are stranded on a sort of ice planet

    Rimmer: Oh, and I found a pot noodle and a tin of dog food.

    Lister: Well its obvious what'll get eaten last. I can't stand pot noodles.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    Lealonie wrote:
    now i changed it to avoid any further embaressment :o

    yeah i remember that 1 :) i must bust out the DVDs and watch 'em all again, spent a fortune buyin 8 seasons off play.com and haven't watched 'em yet

    i can't remember which season this one is from but Rimmer and Lister are stranded on a sort of ice planet

    Rimmer: Oh, and I found a pot noodle and a tin of dog food.

    Lister: Well its obvious what'll get eaten last. I can't stand pot noodles.
    yeah, that was the one where Lister pretended to burn his guitar, classic


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,592 ✭✭✭Ro: maaan!


    I've recently started to watch them all again (slowly) after about 4 years of not watching them. Used to watch them back to back every day. I'm up to the end of series one now. First two series are seriously the best.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17 Lealonie


    i remeber that ep now, he cuts a guitar shape hole in the back of rimmer priceless antique chest so it'd look like he was burn his guitar, that was class :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,446 ✭✭✭✭amp


    Christ, was in the chipper the other day and I thought they had Red Dwarf on but IT WAS CORONATION STREET! :(


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    that's what happens when you mix your drinks amp

    *adele* wrote:
    hey whats red dwarf

    :eek:
    schmeghead!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 49 the clansman


    my friend had evry single red dwarf episode on tape...but then a mouse pissed on them and you know what hapens next


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,706 ✭✭✭Matt Holck


    I like the cat

    Rimmer: 'You're totally egocentric, you flee at the first sign of trouble, you always look out for Number One, you're vain, you're narcissistic and you're self-obsessed.'
    Cat: 'Hey, you just listed all my best features!'

    more quotes


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,350 ✭✭✭Lust4Life


    I love it when the Toaster gets on a roll "Want some toast? How about a bagel?"

    Or when they found a mermaid and Lister asked Cat why the top half was a fish? "shouldn't it be the other way around?"
    Cat: No! That's stupid!


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 9,047 CMod ✭✭✭✭CabanSail


    What ever happened to the Movie?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 631 ✭✭✭Glipmac


    Its about damn time this place had an RD chat, I am an RD Fav... as for the movie i have been doing some looking i to it of late due to the fact of i love it so much

    Last thing i heard was that Mr.Depp has showed interest in the show as he quite a fan himself... as for the progress here is what i have found

    The cast have been rehearsing the script for some time now which goes to show that its getting somewhere so it shouldnt be too much longer *(one can hope)* sadly this was back in march this year... other than that there is no "offical" information for you right now

    "Production on the movie will begin shortly following a period of pre-production, with a release date to follow." an "officaial" note from Rob Grant there]

    When are we likely to see a ninth series?

    Doug Naylor was quoted in a recent interview as saying that the future of the TV show relates to Red Dwarf's cinematic release. A series will not happen until the movie is complete, and should the film prove a success, more are possible.

    There is always the possibility of a ninth series, however; or TV specials. The Rimmer/Death cliffhanger could also be resolved in other media - but until the film is complete, no specific plans can be made.

    As for anyother news the new red dwarf DVD-Game is released tomorrow 23rd of October, i am getting this as soon as i can...

    I found this quite funny this was a Question put forward to Mr. Craig Charles at DJXIII (Dimention Jump 13)

    Did you enjoy your screen kiss with Chris Barrie?

    "Yeah. But he didn't have to do that with his hands." He giggled. "I felt sorry for Chris 'cause he's not a smoker. Just to wind him up I smoked 20 cigarettes beforehand." Oh, and apparently Red Dwarf is harder to film than Corrie. Big surprise, there.

    Well thats my say for now, will be back with more info on Cast + Crew and Red Dwarf as soon as i can find out more...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5 Bobafettish


    Do you think theres a serious lack of red dwarf merchendise?
    Also wouldn't a videogame be gd. PS2 as lister running round with a bazookoid!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Anyone remember the Space Corp Directives?

    Great show and a timeless classic.

    003. By joining Star Corps. each individual taitly consents to give up his inalienable rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities.
    147. 'Crew members are expressly forbidden from leaving their vessel except on permission of a permit. Permits can only be issued by the Chief Navigation Officer, who is expressly forbidden from issuing them except on production of a permit.'
    195. States that in an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic crewmember must lay down his life in order that the living crew-members might survive.
    312. States that crew members in quarantine must be provided with minimum leisure facilities, which Rimmer takes to mean: 'a chess set with 31 missing pieces, a knitting magazine with a pull-out special on crocheted hats, a puzzle magazine with all the crosswords completed and a video of the excellent cinematic treat, Wall-Papering, Painting, And Stippling - A DIY Guide. ("Quarantine")
    349. Any officer found to have been slaughtered and replaced by a shape-changing chameleonic life form shall forfeit all pension rights.
    592. 'In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal rank, seniority will be given to whichever officer can programme a VCR.' (PBS ident, also included on the DVD for series VIII)
    595. A quarantine regulation. ("Quarantine")
    597. One berth per registered crew member. ("Quarantine")
    699. States that crew members may demand a rescreening after five days in quarantine. ("Quarantine")
    723. 'Terraformers are expressly forbidden from recreating Cleveland.' (PBS ident, also included on the DVD for series VIII)
    997. Work done by an officer's doppleganger in a parallel universe cannot be claimed as overtime.
    1694. During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised about any crewmember whose timesheet shows him or her clocking off 187 years before he clocked on.
    1742. 'No member of the Corps should ever report for active duty in a ginger toupee.'
    1743. 'No registered vessel should attempt to traverse an asteroid belt without deflectors.'
    5796. 'No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples.'
    5797. Has something to do with not letting a crew-member aboard if he may, in fact, be a brain-sucking psychotic temporal lobe slurper, or something of that sort.
    7214. To perserve morale during long-haul missions, all male officers above the rank of First Technician must, during panto season, be ready to put on a dress and a pair of false breasts.
    7713. The log must be kept up to date at all times with current service records, complete mission data, and a comprehensive and accurate list of all crew birthdays so that senior officers may avoid bitter and embarrassing silences when meeting in the corridor with subordinates who have not received a card.
    34124. 'No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity.'
    43872. Suntans will be worn during off-duty hours only
    68250 Is never quoted, but is known to be impossible without at least one live chicken and a rabbi.
    196156. 'Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial.'
    1947945. 'A mechanoid may issue orders to human crewmembers if the lives of said crewmembers are directly or indirectly under threat from a hitherto unperceived source and there is inadequate time to explain the precise nature of the enormous and most imminent death threat.' (quoted by Kryten in the original script for "Back to Reality")
    75880932/C. 'POWs have a right to non-violent constraint.'
    572 436 8217968B. 'At all times show your allegiance to Red Dwarf in the US by picking up your phone and calling your local public television station with your pledge.' (PBS ident, also included on the DVD for series VIII; Kryten complains that Rimmer has just made it up)
    39436175880932/B. 'All nations attending the conference are only allocated one parking space.'
    'It is our primary overriding duty to contact other life forms, exchange information, and, wherever possible, bring them home.' (Not given a number on-screen.)


    Curtesy of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Corps_Directives
    and
    http://www.totalreddwarf.co.uk/index.html


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,021 ✭✭✭Hivemind187


    Anyone remember the Space Corp Directives?

    Great show and a timeless classic.

    003. By joining Star Corps. each individual taitly consents to give up his inalienable rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities.
    147. 'Crew members are expressly forbidden from leaving their vessel except on permission of a permit. Permits can only be issued by the Chief Navigation Officer, who is expressly forbidden from issuing them except on production of a permit.'
    195. States that in an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic crewmember must lay down his life in order that the living crew-members might survive.
    312. States that crew members in quarantine must be provided with minimum leisure facilities, which Rimmer takes to mean: 'a chess set with 31 missing pieces, a knitting magazine with a pull-out special on crocheted hats, a puzzle magazine with all the crosswords completed and a video of the excellent cinematic treat, Wall-Papering, Painting, And Stippling - A DIY Guide. ("Quarantine")
    349. Any officer found to have been slaughtered and replaced by a shape-changing chameleonic life form shall forfeit all pension rights.
    592. 'In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal rank, seniority will be given to whichever officer can programme a VCR.' (PBS ident, also included on the DVD for series VIII)
    595. A quarantine regulation. ("Quarantine")
    597. One berth per registered crew member. ("Quarantine")
    699. States that crew members may demand a rescreening after five days in quarantine. ("Quarantine")
    723. 'Terraformers are expressly forbidden from recreating Cleveland.' (PBS ident, also included on the DVD for series VIII)
    997. Work done by an officer's doppleganger in a parallel universe cannot be claimed as overtime.
    1694. During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised about any crewmember whose timesheet shows him or her clocking off 187 years before he clocked on.
    1742. 'No member of the Corps should ever report for active duty in a ginger toupee.'
    1743. 'No registered vessel should attempt to traverse an asteroid belt without deflectors.'
    5796. 'No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples.'
    5797. Has something to do with not letting a crew-member aboard if he may, in fact, be a brain-sucking psychotic temporal lobe slurper, or something of that sort.
    7214. To perserve morale during long-haul missions, all male officers above the rank of First Technician must, during panto season, be ready to put on a dress and a pair of false breasts.
    7713. The log must be kept up to date at all times with current service records, complete mission data, and a comprehensive and accurate list of all crew birthdays so that senior officers may avoid bitter and embarrassing silences when meeting in the corridor with subordinates who have not received a card.
    34124. 'No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity.'
    43872. Suntans will be worn during off-duty hours only
    68250 Is never quoted, but is known to be impossible without at least one live chicken and a rabbi.
    196156. 'Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial.'
    1947945. 'A mechanoid may issue orders to human crewmembers if the lives of said crewmembers are directly or indirectly under threat from a hitherto unperceived source and there is inadequate time to explain the precise nature of the enormous and most imminent death threat.' (quoted by Kryten in the original script for "Back to Reality")
    75880932/C. 'POWs have a right to non-violent constraint.'
    572 436 8217968B. 'At all times show your allegiance to Red Dwarf in the US by picking up your phone and calling your local public television station with your pledge.' (PBS ident, also included on the DVD for series VIII; Kryten complains that Rimmer has just made it up)
    39436175880932/B. 'All nations attending the conference are only allocated one parking space.'
    'It is our primary overriding duty to contact other life forms, exchange information, and, wherever possible, bring them home.' (Not given a number on-screen.)


    Curtesy of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Corps_Directives
    and
    http://www.totalreddwarf.co.uk/index.html

    Now THAT is dedication to your inner geek ... I approve :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 296 ✭✭Thundercracker


    to write out all those quotes, someone obviously has two much time on their hands


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13 Nanoose2


    I thought the episode were Lister developed a virus and it mutated and his paranoia side and his ego side showed up.
    And I was really glad that Lister didn’t take off his helmet in space when his ego told him that air was for losers.
    I haven’t seen all of the Red Dwarf episodes or the movie but I will if it’s the last thing I do. Cheers!


  • Registered Users Posts: 27 mike_slain3


    lol
    592. 'In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal rank, seniority will be given to whichever officer can programme a VCR.'


  • Registered Users Posts: 150 ✭✭4davis7


    Nanoose2 wrote: »
    I thought the episode were Lister developed a virus and it mutated and his paranoia side and his ego side showed up.
    And I was really glad that Lister didn’t take off his helmet in space when his ego told him that air was for losers.
    I haven’t seen all of the Red Dwarf episodes or the movie but I will if it’s the last thing I do. Cheers!

    What movie????


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19 CAZ85


    AAAAARGH!! IT'S THE STICK! IT'S THE STICK!!

    Gotta love Cat!! He's hilarious


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