Red Dwarf Charter

CrazyRabbit wrote:

Anyone remember the Space Corp Directives?

Great show and a timeless classic.

003. By joining Star Corps. each individual taitly consents to give up his inalienable rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities.
147. 'Crew members are expressly forbidden from leaving their vessel except on permission of a permit. Permits can only be issued by the Chief Navigation Officer, who is expressly forbidden from issuing them except on production of a permit.'
195. States that in an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic crewmember must lay down his life in order that the living crew-members might survive.
312. States that crew members in quarantine must be provided with minimum leisure facilities, which Rimmer takes to mean: 'a chess set with 31 missing pieces, a knitting magazine with a pull-out special on crocheted hats, a puzzle magazine with all the crosswords completed and a video of the excellent cinematic treat, Wall-Papering, Painting, And Stippling - A DIY Guide. ("Quarantine")
349. Any officer found to have been slaughtered and replaced by a shape-changing chameleonic life form shall forfeit all pension rights.
592. 'In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal rank, seniority will be given to whichever officer can programme a VCR.' (PBS ident, also included on the DVD for series VIII)
595. A quarantine regulation. ("Quarantine")
597. One berth per registered crew member. ("Quarantine")
699. States that crew members may demand a rescreening after five days in quarantine. ("Quarantine")
723. 'Terraformers are expressly forbidden from recreating Cleveland.' (PBS ident, also included on the DVD for series VIII)
997. Work done by an officer's doppleganger in a parallel universe cannot be claimed as overtime.
1694. During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised about any crewmember whose timesheet shows him or her clocking off 187 years before he clocked on.
1742. 'No member of the Corps should ever report for active duty in a ginger toupee.'
1743. 'No registered vessel should attempt to traverse an asteroid belt without deflectors.'
5796. 'No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples.'
5797. Has something to do with not letting a crew-member aboard if he may, in fact, be a brain-sucking psychotic temporal lobe slurper, or something of that sort.
7214. To perserve morale during long-haul missions, all male officers above the rank of First Technician must, during panto season, be ready to put on a dress and a pair of false breasts.
7713. The log must be kept up to date at all times with current service records, complete mission data, and a comprehensive and accurate list of all crew birthdays so that senior officers may avoid bitter and embarrassing silences when meeting in the corridor with subordinates who have not received a card.
34124. 'No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity.'
43872. Suntans will be worn during off-duty hours only
68250 Is never quoted, but is known to be impossible without at least one live chicken and a rabbi.
196156. 'Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial.'
1947945. 'A mechanoid may issue orders to human crewmembers if the lives of said crewmembers are directly or indirectly under threat from a hitherto unperceived source and there is inadequate time to explain the precise nature of the enormous and most imminent death threat.' (quoted by Kryten in the original script for "Back to Reality")
75880932/C. 'POWs have a right to non-violent constraint.'
572 436 8217968B. 'At all times show your allegiance to Red Dwarf in the US by picking up your phone and calling your local public television station with your pledge.' (PBS ident, also included on the DVD for series VIII; Kryten complains that Rimmer has just made it up)
39436175880932/B. 'All nations attending the conference are only allocated one parking space.'
'It is our primary overriding duty to contact other life forms, exchange information, and, wherever possible, bring them home.' (Not given a number on-screen.)


Curtesy of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Corps_Directives
and
http://www.totalreddwarf.co.uk/index.html

Nanoose2 wrote: »

I thought the episode were Lister developed a virus and it mutated and his paranoia side and his ego side showed up.
And I was really glad that Lister didn’t take off his helmet in space when his ego told him that air was for losers.
I haven’t seen all of the Red Dwarf episodes or the movie but I will if it’s the last thing I do. Cheers!