Sum up your day in a Headline

_sheep · 13-12-2004 3:48pm #1

Im stealing this thread idea direct off the SA forums but thought it might go down well here.
Idea is to sum up your day in a headline, the more boring the harder it is i.e

Bored man at work starts thread on the Internet
Story developing

Or for a friend of mine...

Terminally unemployed Man wakes up and scratches balls, more news at 5

Gilgamesh · 13-12-2004 3:50pm

official Press statement from Gilgamesh: ' I don't like mondays' can this be true?

Blub2k4 · 13-12-2004 3:50pm

Bubbles trumped in stupid polls shocker!!

mr_angry · 13-12-2004 3:51pm

Coffee Turns Man Into Bug-Eyed Monster From Hell

I was going for the sensationalist approach there.

zAbbo · 13-12-2004 3:54pm

Peer Internet Pressure Results in Disappointing Reply

or

7 Days to New York Holiday, Employee Stretchs out Time

BolBill · 13-12-2004 4:30pm

mr_angry wrote:

Coffee Turns Man Into Bug-Eyed Monster From Hell

I was going for the sensationalist approach there.

Totally relate !!!

smoke.me.a.kipper · 13-12-2004 4:35pm

smak has great weekend, no mondays blues.

PH01 · 13-12-2004 4:36pm

Gotcha!
Exclusive pictures show bored employees who have taken to hunting jelly babies with dogs!

egan007 · 13-12-2004 4:38pm

Man provokes reaction form 'stupid ugly people on this thread'

parker larkin · 13-12-2004 4:39pm

Serious Deadline, Very Little Achieved.

Due to a late night and an even later start, a stuffed up and snuffy parker larkin has found herself caught in a most unproductive day.

Tomorrow will Be Different Swears parker larkin: turn to page 3 for more details.

bringitdown · 13-12-2004 5:17pm

In summary then: fist-headed man destroys church, car drives past window in town and Leicester man wins right to eat sister.

Now fact me 'til I fart!

13-12-2004 5:18pm

Papa goes Postal...

bigpinkelephant · 13-12-2004 5:41pm

GIRL DOES WORK ON COMPUTER IN COLLEGE SHOCKER

An Experimental Physics student was today found in a University computer room doing a homework assignment. Big Pink Elephant* (18), was seen drawing up a table of results this evening in what is her first attempt at a homework assignment in quite some time. Our exclusive pictures show the girl has today only spent a total of 2 hours on the Internet when she "should be studying". A source told us: "Big Pink Elephant does not like Physics and has no intention of carrying it on as her final degree subject. She is well known in the University as being unable to do anything other than look at rubbish on the Internet when she is within a 10-metre radius of a computer. As a former computer science student, she was able to hide her addiction for quite some time, but her cover was blown a number of weeks ago when she was spotted browsing for iPods on eBay. She was scheduled to attend a lecture at the time".
Big Pink Elephant declined to comment.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

13-12-2004 5:46pm

Boy Panics about Christmas tests starting tomorrow!

Half-Bicycle · 13-12-2004 5:52pm

Despair Threshold Looms As Man Faces Xmas Rush Hour Whilst Shopping For New Kettle After Really Long Day

JBoyle4eva · 13-12-2004 6:23pm

Teenager goes to school and arrives home 10 mins early!

This breaking news as many villagers in turmoil. An unknown local publican said "To greet that decade old school bus 10 mins early would be like declaring it christmas already. We just didn't have enough time to ignite the local street lanterns"

As this story develops, keep it here with JBoyle!

Crucifix · 13-12-2004 6:33pm

"College student frets over tomorrow's presentation: Is a stress induced heart-attack imminent?"

Healio · 13-12-2004 6:37pm

"MERRY PISS-MAS"
Student gets christmas holidays.

woosaysdan · 13-12-2004 7:12pm

woosaysdan posts reply on boards.ie more to follow after the break

_blank_ · 13-12-2004 7:13pm

parker larkin wrote:

Serious Deadline, Very Little Achieved.

Due to a late night and an even later start, a stuffed up and snuffy parker larkin has found herself caught in a most unproductive day.

Tomorrow will Be Different Swears parker larkin: turn to page 3 for more details.

Still waiting

Victor_Meldrew · 13-12-2004 7:14pm

Priest Marries Nun in Vegas after Sex Orgy Goes Wrong

Another one of them days...

Peace · 13-12-2004 7:16pm

Unknown Man Runs Naked Through Dublin Streets at Rush Hour. Bertie Claims He was Elsewhere.

Caesar_Bojangle · 13-12-2004 7:20pm

Man waves fist at the homeless

Giblet · 13-12-2004 7:52pm

WORLDS MOST TIRED MAN AWAKES!!!!
"More Sleep!" he says.

JackKelly · 13-12-2004 7:56pm

Man gets luas, as everything goes acorrding to plan

Piste · 13-12-2004 8:38pm

"Girl feels at one with the world and full of love leading her friends to believe she is doing E"

Half-Bicycle · 15-12-2004 1:19pm

Unfunny Headlines Increase Posts Count

seamus · 15-12-2004 1:22pm

UNWITTING USER DRAGS UP OLD POST, RECEIVES BAN

j/k

Spalk0 · 15-12-2004 1:26pm

'Civil Servant loses his mind and mauls Tourists!'

joejoem · 15-12-2004 1:37pm

Bored on Boards

mayordenis · 15-12-2004 1:38pm

Boy has uneventful day.

embee · 15-12-2004 2:05pm

This just in : Dentists have drills and they fooking hurt.

mike65 · 15-12-2004 2:40pm

Man Gets Bi-annual Haircut and Takes Car to Have Work Done!

Mike.

Sleepy · 15-12-2004 2:49pm

Internet user discovers a disturbing addiction
This morning when supposed to be working, twenty four year old Sleepy* discovered that he is in fact clinically addicted to baords.ie. An outage of the office email server left him with nothing to do for the morning and when going to lunch he realised that he had just spent four hours posting rubbish... more on page 7.

monkeyfudge · 15-12-2004 2:55pm

Confused Chimp Carelessly Castrates Comatose Cat

I wish my day really was that interesting.... sigh....

Third_Echelon · 15-12-2004 3:32pm

Third_Echelon to consult neurologist

Irishman Third_Echelon is to see a neurologist over a continuing dillusional problem, and his obsession with Everton challenging for the title this year, colleagues have told BBC Sport