Girls, I need your help!

Bazookatone

Ok
Any of you who know me say I'm fast talking, quite insane, (apparently) unbelievebly horny sex maniac with the tact and charm of a cactus. Any of you who don't, see above.

Anyway, I've met this girl whose absolutely fantastic. She's drop dead gordeous, funny, and has a laugh that turns my legs to mush. She could stop a 200 tonne freight train in it's tracks with her smile. (you know that bit in "Love Actually", where Keira Knightly walks into the church for the first time, that's pretty much how I see her all the time).

To the point, I've just worked up the courage to talk to her, and I don't want to give her the impression that I'm a fast talking, quite insane, (apparently) unbelievebly horny sex maniac with the tact and charm of a cactus. Basically, I need to alter my personality completely.

Now, I'm doing a lot of the things right. I'm always clean as a whistle, nails trimmed, hair cut, bit of designer stubble, just one small stud in my ear, clothes neat, colour co-ordinated, presentable etc. When I'm around her, I'm always chewing gum so my breath is fresh. And I've gone on an intense toning up session. During the summer, I sort of fell out of the habit of excercising, but I'm back at it, and I'm doing Martial arts 4 times a week, so I'm in tip top shape.

Unforyunately, my natural appearance is counting against me. I'm on the short side, I've got red har, and an unusually slender neck (one might say "gangly") I'm a slight build, so even though I'm very strong (and I am, I can do 12 chin ups at a time and I've done Hiundu squats with a person bigger than me on my back) I don't have big bulging muscles.

Also, when I'm nervous, I have a nasty habit of saying something really strange (like Chandler in "Firends"). But I'm working on that. I'm trying to come across as a responsible mellow sort of guy, the sort of person people respect because he sees all sides of an argument. Basically, I'm ripping off Oisín's whole "peacemaker " thing.

So my question is, what else can I do to make myself appealing, and what do girls actually look for in a bloke, and be honest, don't all say "oh personality is sooooo important" because, that's just not true is it.

Hugh Hefner

Okay, first thing's first, change your avatar. It's terrible.
Next, spread a rumour about an oversized appendage.
3rd, learn what she likes and work it into conversations. Say you're looking forward to the next _________.
4th, a quick brush off her feet. Romantic, spontanious, whirlwnd desire should overcome her.
5th, this is crap. You shouldn't feel you have to change yourself for her. If she doesn't like the normal you then maybe she's not worth it (keeping in mind she's still really hot). I know it sounds cliched but it's true.

You could for course put yourslef on the line and just ask her out. She might say no but at least you can stop this insane show. It's win-win, except that you could lose.

Well, good luck.

P.S. A good bit of confidence doesn't hurt.

ARGINITE

P.S. A good bit of confidence doesn't hurt.

a good balance of confidence and humility, also you shouldnt have to change if she doesnt like you the way you are well than it was never ment to be, even if she is hot.

also do this!

3rd, learn what she likes and work it into conversations. Say you're looking forward to the next _________.

StupidLikeAFox

Bazookatone wrote:

I need to alter my personality completely.

Dont come across as a phony either though

It wasn't me!

To hell with it. Nobody's worth changing for. Don't compromise yourself. If they don't like you as you are then why bother? They're not right for you.

Matthewthebig

I agree with Dave. You are you. You are not mr amazing. No one is. If she doesn't like you then thats her loss. I'm annoying as hell but i have a girlfriend who accepts that. Someone will accept the way you are. it may be here. So go up to her talk to her and finally...BE YOURSELF!

edibility

Get stoned, and send her a text message saying you want to go down on her.


It actually works.

Well. For some people.

*adele*

well the first thing you have to do is keep true to yourself because if you dont she'll like the fake you and you cant be him all the time if she doesnt like you for you she's not worth it.If that sounds stupid i'm sorry,u sound cool and if she cant like you for that then dont bother

Bob_Hoskins

Bazookatone wrote:

Basically, I need to alter my personality completely.

Dont alter you personality just to suit one girl, its not worth it as you can only ever be yourself and eventually you will be exhausted with having to constantly put on a facade. You never know, she might like you as you are !This is assuming you want a relationship.

If you dont, walk up to her and whisper in her ear all of the ****ed up things youd like to do to her. She might like it, she might not. Whats the worst that can happen

Fusion251

Don't be a phonie, or you'll have this lad after ya...




Don't bost about martial arts and your fitness.
Don't lie and be confident but not cocky.

Oh yeah...and listen to her if she's talking to you.

Plastic Scouser

Bazookatone wrote:

I'm always clean as a whistle, nails trimmed, hair cut, bit of designer stubble, just one small stud in my ear, clothes neat, colour co-ordinated, presentable etc..

If you take out the stud in your ear you might stand a better chance! I hate guys wearing earrings!


(Could be just me though I guess! )

Aoibheann

I think that you don't need help from us girls, the guys are giving you some great advice. Do what they say and it'll be fine.

To reiterate what they said: dont change yourself to impress someone else.

GlitterB

Bazookatone wrote:

Ok

Also, when I'm nervous, I have a nasty habit of saying something really strange (like Chandler in "Firends"). But I'm working on that. I'm trying to come across as a responsible mellow sort of guy, the sort of person people respect because he sees all sides of an argument. Basically, I'm ripping off Oisín's whole "peacemaker " thing.

.

Stop making SUCH an effort there is no point in making all these changes because if ya do get with her then sooner or later its gonna come out that the person she fell for wasnt you...you'd feel far better about urself if ya knew she fell for the real you.....Dont try and be all reasonable and stuff girls are not gonna fall for tht if its not you and she mite up seeing ya as more of a friend be a bit more...em passionate/fiery whatever!!??as for the Chandler thing ya are doin if doesnt like ya with all ur good AND bad points she isnt really that special at all

mentalimplosion

Bob_Hoskins wrote:

If you dont, walk up to her and whisper in her ear all of the ****ed up things youd like to do to her. She might like it, she might not. Whats the worst that can happen

she could press charges.

*adele*

well.....can u tell us who she is?dont worry if you cant!

TalkISCheap

if she presses charges say u were stoned while whispering in her ear. better yet, actually be stoned while whispering in her ear, and get a friend to videotape it all as proof.

why are u all looking at me?... :eek: what do you mean do i have experience of this sort of thing?!?

freakydeadgirl

just be yourself... that's the best way to hook this girl
hey she might find your quirks, cute and appealing

Bazookatone

1) My avatar is fine
2) I misled you when I made the "changing personality", quip. I meant more, I need to keep the eccentrivities to a minimum.
3) She doesn't dislike my present personality, because I haven't let it run amok in her presence. But it does have a nasty habit of alienating attractive girls.
4) When I mentioned the martial arts and fitness thing, I didn't mean it as a boast. I was just giving all my pros and cons so that you guys could make informed comments.
5) "Don't change youself, it's not worth it" is not particularly constructive, please be specific. thanks anyway though, I know you meant well.
6) "Get drunk and tell her you want to go down on her" is constructive. It's really bad advice but at least it's specific. That's the sort of advice I'm looking for. Thanks. (Ps There's not a snowball's chance in Hell that I'll actually do that.)

7) Feakydeadgirl: NO-ONE finds my quirks cute or appealing

8) More advice please, this stuff's gold!

Bazookatone

PS
Fusion 251. Where the Hell did you get that picture of me!

adele. You don't know her, but just in case, by the 1 in a million chance she finds this site, figures out who I am and that I'm talking about her, thereby scaring her off, I'm not going to say her name.

And, one more thing, I've been being myself for 19 years, and it's not getting me any action. At this point, I am so Sex starved, I would gladly do an impression of a midget, one eyed, peg legged belly dancer in a vietnamese strip joint to get some. I am a shallow, terrible human being, judge me all you want, just kepp posting useful tips.

Crucifix

Bazookatone wrote:

I'm trying to come across as a responsible mellow sort of guy, the sort of person people respect because he sees all sides of an argument.

Be more specific about who you're trying to be. The above description sounds like me. I am, at best, medium popular with the women.
If you're going to go to the trouble of faking a personality, you should make sure you've picked the right personality. Do you know anything about her ex-boyfriends, i.e.: The type of guy she goes for? If not it's stalker time.....I'm joking, of course.
Well, good luck with that.

gigglingrat

Send her a Valentine's day card with your number inside. So what if it's not Valentines day? Sets you apart from the crowd, so it does.

jono087

I know it's not the way to win a girls heart, but if you want muscle the simple answer is hard work....... 50 pressups & situps a night, run at least 10k a week, and eat loads and loads of meat........ believe me it works!

Hugh Hefner

jono087 wrote:

and eat loads and loads of meat........

Yeah if you want to die at 40. LOL.

It wasn't me!

Don't eat too much, but eat a good bit of protein, lift weights and before you know it you'll have a figure like mine!

smiley_knees

If your trying to make her laugh do NOT under any circumstances joke about her, even if it is funny as hell and even if you'll know she'll be cool with it. It really is not cool. Grrr, personal experiences...

Ah, and um, I know it's easier to say than do but (well, I was told by guys anyways), um, try not to get too *happy* (wink wink nudge nudge). It's knida awkward. don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way, but hey.. There's only so many times you can joke about their having a gun in their pocket...

Bottle_of_Smoke

smiley_knees wrote:

If your trying to make her laugh do NOT under any circumstances joke about her, even if it is funny as hell and even if you'll know she'll be cool with it. It really is not cool. Grrr, personal experiences...

ha bang wrong, maybe you mean dont be horrible to her(which makes sense) but if you dont treat her like everyone else she'll feel isolated and awkward.

I say just be yourself, and the real yourself, not some "nice guy" type tosser

find something you like about yourself and think about it too much, that way you'll be confident and maybe even likeable

doonothing

OR just keep nagging and nagging at her til she eventually says yes.
(almost) never fails

Crash

distract her with an rte guide and schlip in the log.

MatthewVII

The trick is to not appear too eager and keep her on her toes. Every time you pass her, just say hi or something and walk on. Don't talk to her for more than a minute or two, say if you're both waiting on a bus, waiting to go into class, just generically waiting for something. Tell her something about yourself every time and gradually it'll build up. One of the most important things women like (in my experience) is someone who doesnt take themselves too seriously. Dont be afraid to laugh at your own mistakes, but dont make yourself look like a complete prat. in conclusion:
laugh, but not too hard
be interested in what she has to say, but dont appear to hang on every word
be friendly but not overly friendly
be funny but dont try to be a comedian

Girls dont like people who try too hard! just follow the above and she'll see you as more of an equal instead of a toy to be pushed around

Undergod

Are any of these people even from CTYI? Bazookatone, feel lucky, people the country over are advising you. One of them has got to be right.

StupidLikeAFox

MatthewVII wrote:

The trick is to not appear too eager and keep her on her toes. Every time you pass her, just say hi or something and walk on. Don't talk to her for more than a minute or two, say if you're both waiting on a bus, waiting to go into class, just generically waiting for something.

And as your waiting some other guy will slip in and take the bull by the horns (no offence to the girl in question) and BANG, end of your life

jono087

Christ, if you really really like her just wait 'til you see her drunk some night and use all your charm...... crude, dishonourable, nasty, but it just might work.... then in the morning convince her that she came onto you!



(btw, I don't seriously suggest you do that, 'cos it's not very nice)

mentalimplosion

jono087 wrote:

50 pressups & situps a night

ehh dunno about the pressups but you'll need a helluva lot more than 50 situps a night... start at 100 and work your way up to 300 a night... and press your tongue to the roof of your mouth, so as not to get a pot-belly

It wasn't me!

Weights are better than pressups for visible muscles but to be honest pressups make you physically stronger if you do them right. I would reccomend working your way up to doing a few hundred a day before starting any real upper body training. As for sit-ups, start at about two or three hundred. From the exercise you say you do it shouldn't be a lot of bother to you, and work your way up to a thousand in sets of a hundred. Make sure you just crunch them as well. Go any further and you're wasting your time. They'll do nothing. That's just physical advice. I still don't think it'll really do you any good. If all she sees is a physique it's a shallow attraction and not worth the air you're breathing.

JenLorigan

Bazookatone wrote:

At this point, I am so Sex starved, I would gladly do an impression of a midget, one eyed, peg legged belly dancer in a vietnamese strip joint to get some. I am a shallow, terrible human being, judge me all you want, just kepp posting useful tips.

That might get you somewhere. Especially if she's a CTYIer, or CTYIish.

pinkpimp

Hugh Hefner wrote:

Okay, first thing's first, change your avatar. It's terrible.
Next, spread a rumour about an oversized appendage.
3rd, learn what she likes and work it into conversations. Say you're looking forward to the next _________.
4th, a quick brush off her feet. Romantic, spontanious, whirlwnd desire should overcome her.
5th, this is crap. You shouldn't feel you have to change yourself for her. If she doesn't like the normal you then maybe she's not worth it (keeping in mind she's still really hot). I know it sounds cliched but it's true.

You could for course put yourslef on the line and just ask her out. She might say no but at least you can stop this insane show. It's win-win, except that you could lose.

Well, good luck.

P.S. A good bit of confidence doesn't hurt.

I didn't have the patience to read anymore posts than this one, to explain this post first of all.

Now, (no offence kev) Do not listen to the above quote.
Don't learn what she likes, it wont make much difference. Talk about what you like, if she doesn't respond well, talk about something else you dont like.
Do not try a romantic gesture. You will come across too strong. It's all well and good when you've nipped her and want to keep her, but as an initial thang, no.
As for the 5th, this aint crap. 'The end justifies the means'.
I wouldn't ask her out straight. Things just don't work that way (much).

My suggestion is to be flirty. Don't just agree with her all the time, if you have a differing opinion, offer some playful competitive arguement. (I say playful, but never concede defeat). Start flirting with her a bit, with some physical contact. If she flirts back, then it should come naturally. (I don't know what to do if not, its never happened to me). when you are alone, lean in for a kiss, at an appropriate moment of course, and lash the lips on to her.

Main thing is, though, to not build the moment up. Don't say to yourself 'do it now, do it now' cos you will find it very hard. And dont build your hopes up. Not for fear of being disappointed, just because admitting things to yourself effects your outward appearence, and its less likely to happen. I like to relate this to karma.

Thats all I can say, its whats worked for me.

And one more thing: attempt at mysterious: BAD. Conveys 'wierd' attitude. Charming: Good.

It wasn't me!

Heh. I think mysterious and the first thing I see is a man in a long dark trench with one hand inside it, his hat pulled down and his collars up. If I had any artistic talent left I'd make some kind of weird stalker comic strip out of that. Stalking people is fun though. Give it a go. You might like it.

taby

Hmmmm i read thru all the above advice and most of it seems to say either
(1) Do sumthin crazy to get her attention

or
(2) Be yourself.

:-)

I think that it really depends on this girl. What does she like? Like if she's into punk rock or if she's into pop and u ask her to go see Metallica and she like westlife its not going to go down too well ya know. Just find someting that shes like and than try and start conversation around that. And seriously though even if you don't look like a million dollars its what's inside that counts cause i've known plenty of stunning people who within seconds make you wanna run away screaming. And if all else fails become her stalker.

Hugh Hefner

taby wrote:

Just find someting that shes like and than try and start conversation around that.

Yeah, cos' that's not exactly what I said in my first post here. <sarcasm detector explodes>

jono087

Just make sure you coincidentally appear near her class or by her bus and then get chattin to the best lookin girl u can find near u........ make her jealous and den just say hi and walk off........

GlitterB

jono087 wrote:

Just make sure you coincidentally appear near her class or by her bus and then get chattin to the best lookin girl u can find near u........ make her jealous and den just say hi and walk off........

this'll only work if ur sure shes into you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bottle_of_Smoke

GlitterB wrote:

this'll only work if ur sure shes into you!!!!!!!!!!!!

but might make her realise she's into him, and if she looks uncomfortable he'll at least have a fair idea///

any updates original guy?

Undergod

Hugh Hefner wrote:

Yeah, cos' that's not exactly what I said in my first post here. <sarcasm detector explodes>

And if you listen very carefully, you can hear the sound of no-one caring... without any good advice, I really have no business here. Ciao

Crash

stop acting the tit trying to get her attention, talk to her normally not like she's an object of sexual interest, then when you get to know each other a bit say "do you want to go get a drink/go to the movies/get some coffee" etc. - then at the end make sure to walk her home/busstop/taxi etc. will work pretty well

but most of all, stop acting like a tit. :P

Bazookatone

Now THAT'S what I call advice. Thank you all and everyone. I do do lots of pressups and situps anyway, but that's always good advice. I was doing 320 situps in 4 reps of 80, now though I do 2 reps of 60, but I do each one slowly and hold it for a second before dropping, much more effective in my opinion. I'm also back to being able to do 15 chin ups at a time. I'm also stretching the bejeezus out of myself, more flexible than ever.

Unfortunately, geography is against me, as she lives quite far from me, and there are no buses where I live, so I can't "accidentally" meet her on the street or anything.

I saw her at the weekend, we're in an orchestra together and (due to fate or God setting me up for, yet another, metaphorical kick in the groin) we ended up sitting together. So I was nice, I cracked jokes at appropriate moments and I wasn't afraid to laugh at myself (one or two jokes I cracked were deliberately at my own expense, on purpose, to show I'm an easygoing kind of guy), she laughed at my jokes. I asked her questions about herself, what she does, what she's into etc etc (she does ballet, btw, which is cool, at least I think so).

Now, before I read the post that said don't to any overblown romantic gestures, I was going to send her an unsigned Valentine's card (on Valentine's Day) with the lyrics to "Broken" by seether (featuring Amy Lee, you know the one) written inside, because I think those are really romantic lyrics. But I won't now, cause it could come across as stalkery and I'm pretending I'n NOT crazy.

If I do become a stalker, I already have the Night Vision equipment, and the surveillance tactics, so I'm set, but I don't think that'll happen.

Keep posting, all this stuff's great

Hugh Hefner

You're right, that Broken lyrics valentines card is stalkerish. But the principle is good. Maybe just send it unsigned without the lyrics or maybe a small romantic quote or whatever. Just tone down the stalkeryness but the card idea is good.

Bazookatone

What about a quote from the Blink 182 song "Going off to College".

"I haven't been this scared, in a long time,
And I'm so unprepared, so here's my Valentine,
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody,
The world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me."

Personally, I think this is the most romantic sentiments in any song I've ever heard.

StupidLikeAFox

not sure bout the ''worlds an ugly place bit, ya dont want her to think your some manic depressive or anything. How about ''I love you just the way you are'' or something like that....?

jono087

Bazookatone wrote:

I saw her at the weekend, we're in an orchestra together and (due to fate or God setting me up for, yet another, metaphorical kick in the groin) we ended up sitting together. So I was nice, I cracked jokes at appropriate moments and I wasn't afraid to laugh at myself (one or two jokes I cracked were deliberately at my own expense, on purpose, to show I'm an easygoing kind of guy), she laughed at my jokes. I asked her questions about herself, what she does, what she's into etc etc (she does ballet, btw, which is cool, at least I think so).

You know your f*cked if she's on boards and "happens" to stumble across this thread... I know the odds are very, very long, but f it happened it would be so funny (in a very bad way)..

It wasn't me!

Bazookatone wrote:

I already have the Night Vision equipment, and the surveillance tactics

You and Barry are going to get along just fine....

mentalimplosion

jono087 wrote:

You know your f*cked if she's on boards and "happens" to stumble across this thread...

i was about to say that.. if it happened to me, by god, it'd send me running.