19 years ago

dickdonk14

19 years ago today at 17.40 my son 11 months old died in a&e of a hospital. No long term illness just a week long cold that attacked his heart muscles. 19 years of living no just moving through life in a numbness that only another parent going through the same could understand. The long list of antidepressants that just flatten you no highs just greyness and emptyness . The alcohol O the alcohol the long nights of Jack Daniels trying to piece me back together. The alcohol fuelled high then bed for sleep to wake with no change just numbness and greyness. The death of both parents from cancer hurt but nothing like the pain of mile stones missed by a child that never lived. So today as we have every year since 2006 we hang the decorations and put up the xmas tree to mask the pain and loss. So my tiny bit of wisdom. Take your kids no matter how old they are hug them and tell them how much you love them.

wirecotton

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058429372/19-years-ago

Very sorry for you're loss, deepest condolences and sympathies to you

Sunrise_Sunset

Unimaginable pain and grief.

So very sorry for your loss.

banie01

I am sorry for your loss, for the all too brief time your son was in your lives.
I hope, I really do hope that you can find some solace in rwmbering those all too brief happy times shared before illness robbed you of him.

Grief is an awful mistress, with no timetable and often it can wash over us and no matter how much time has passed since the loss, the heartache, pain and loss is physical.

Mind yourself, I hope you, your spouse and your loved ones find comfort and support in each other and as empty as it may feel?
I wish ya all as happy a Christmas as ye can manage.

wildwillow

I feel your loss as I have had a similar experience. It has been 36 years since my 6 year old child died from cancer. It meant his suffering was over so slightly easier to bear. But the heartbreak never lessens over the years and you always mourn for the lost future.

My grandchildren now talk about the uncle they never knew. It keeps his memory alive.

There is nothing I can say to lessen your heartbreak. Other people get tired of grief, and expect you to move on.

I plough on every day but sometimes allow myself wallow in self pity before picking up the reins again and cope with everyday life.

I hope you find peace and acceptance, but I think it will not be through alcohol or drugs.

feartuath

Sympathy and sorry for your loss, your last line hit hard also.

I will think of you when I hug my two.

Thanks