Standing/Waiting on public transport is making my kid absolutely hate public transport

Beta Ray Bill

Bit of thought experiment on this one.

I live on the North Side of Dublin city. My kid lives on South Side, he goes to school over there.

On Fridays I pick him up from school at 2.30pm.

In 2023 I used to pick him up in the car and drive back on the M50. But I switched to public transport in 2024 as the traffic situation has really deteriorated. It's quicker to get a Luas and Bus out from my office to collect him and then get Bus, Luas, DART to bring him home.

He used to enjoy the novelty of of the Public transport since (April 2024), but now he absolutely hates it. He's asking me all the time about the car and why I'm not in the car and to promise to bring the car next time and what about mammys car. He hates waiting on a Bus, Luas, DART to arrive and REALLY hates standing on public transport. He doesn't care that it's faster.

I'm trying to teach him public transport is better, but it looks like I'm failing… badly.

MacDanger

Buy him a bike and the two of ye cycle instead

Beta Ray Bill

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122886654#Comment_122886654

Not a chance
Way to dangerous, plus he cannot cycle. I gave up cycling year ago based on the amount of near misses I had.

Xterminator

your trying to teach him that getting a free lift from your front door to your destination is not as good as using public transport? It is not true. From his POV its far better to be picked up

You can extol the virtues of public transport but you can't pee on his leg and tell him its raining!

There is a reason more poeple choose the expenses of a car over public transport, even when there are viable transport routes to and from their destinations. And your child didnt have those expenses - as he travelled free!

angel eyes 2012

Is it really faster?

Did you look at driving through town or changing the route, I know this is harder given the number of changes the council have made but sometimes it can be quicker than the M50.

I'm with your son, the car is a million times better than having to get public transport. Other option, of course, is to move closer to your son but obviously this would be a massive change to your own circumstances.

bk

He was spoiled by previously having the option of the car. What kid wouldn’t prefer to be in the back of the car, on their phone/tablet being Chauffeured around by their parents.

You just have to explain that it is faster and easier to take public transport for you and that’s that. Perhaps explain that it is normal for adults to get around the city by public transport and you are helping teach him to be like an adult (age dependent of course).

I’ve some personal experience of this, we don’t have a car ourselves, little one sometimes complains saying why don’t we get a car. I explain we could, but they are expensive, so we would have less money for so many nice holidays, trips to Disney, etc. So it is a trade off. She was quiet happy with that explanation and agreed.

A good learning opportunity about budgets and trade offs. Plus jumping on and off buses, looking out the window and all that I think is better for their development then stuck in the back of the car head buried in an iPad.

On the bus we always try and sit in the front row upstairs and play various games, like spotting houses with Christmas decorations, cars with yellow regs, etc. She finds it very fun and looks forward to our trips on the bus.

Of course slightly different circumstance from yours and age dependent, I’m sure she will be much less impressed as a teenager. But just some ideas.

Dial Hard

That's a tough one.i have a car but I'm also a big proponent of public transport - I get the bus rather than drive to work, for example. But bus, Luas and DART is a bit of a trek alright. Mind you, the M50 northbound on a Friday is an absolute shítshow too, and to be avoided at all costs if possible.

How old is he?

purplefields

Unfortunately, your son is correct. It's also why the M50 is clogged up. In Ireland, car is king.

I hate driving, but there is no viable alternative. The only Irish public transport I ever get is a plane out of the country.

Mrs OBumble

Tell him to quit whining or you'll make him walk instead!

Even better if you actually mean it 😉

nearby_cheetah

In fairness, he's right.

Think about the positives, it might motivate him to follow a successful career so that he can afford to run a decent car, live in a place that is accessible by car and include underground parking and work where commuting is not so difficult (shift or wfh) and be important enough at work to be given his own parking space.

Wealthy people don't use public transport. You never see someone in a flash suit and shoes about to give a high-level work presentation going around in a bike like some crusty student.

Cookie_Monster

Tell him he needs to pay you to get picked up in the car to cover the costs 😅

mikeybhoy

You're the parent you're in charge if he doesn't like it tough it's not his decision. Simple really.

Rarely had access to a car when I was a kid as my parents couldn't afford two cars and my father needed the one car we had for work so had to get around with my mother by walking and bus. Never did me any harm.

bk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122889483#Comment_122889483

Completely nonsense take. Working in the tech industry, I can assure you some of the best paid people in this country take public transport or cycle to work every day!

The DART and commuter trains are full of people in suits and briefcases heading to their jobs in the financial sector in the IFSC.

Most of them do own cars, often very nice ones, but they leave them at home because it is faster and easier to get to work by public transport or cycle.

z80CPU

Didn't read replies OP

I use the Dublin bus 15 and that has kids under 10 standing , sardined with the other grown ups.

This has been going on for a few years now and gets bad around this time of year.

Won't change anytime soon

CliffHangeroner

He's lucky he wasn't put through public transport in the 1980's. I can remember sitting/standing on a bus back and forth from Dublin city centre every day to Dundrum windows closed and every other person smoking. Was torture for the lungs.

CramCycle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122891275#Comment_122891275

This, the DART is chock full of people in high paying jobs on the early runs, because time is money and these people don't want to waste it on traffic or leaving an hour earlier for a 9am meeting.

L1011

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122889483#Comment_122889483

I'd say 70%+ of my office take public transport (or cycle) in to work.

Most of them are on over 100k (I'm not).

Most people going to work in flash suits and shoes these days are salesmen on ~25k basic. They all have their PCPed cars, that they can't actually afford.

CramCycle

Also, this sounds more like it is for the parenting forum. Just say no, that is it, it isn't an option, leave it at that. I have had similar discussions with my son and sometimes you just have to turn around and say stop, this is the way of things, complaining won't change, it will just make it seem worse. No excuses, no reasons, just state the facts, simples.

timmyntc

Why not stop off somewhere on the way and get some food or go into a museum or something as a treat.

Obviously not a regular thing, but show him some of the benefits of being in the city centre. If he's just going door to door then yeah, I'd want chauffeured too

bk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122891329#Comment_122891329

That is a brilliant idea and very true.

I didn't do it on purpose, but last year we had to take a trip for a week that involved two buses, there was an ice cream shop between the two bus stops, so……

Since then, she keeps asking if we can take that bus trip again 😁

Zebra3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122889565#Comment_122889565

Yep, ask the child what percentage of their allowance will they cough up to get chauffeured around.

Beta Ray Bill

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122891329#Comment_122891329

City Centre is dodge, I don't even like the walk from the Luas to Tara St station, I wouldn't be hanging around there.

When the service links up well it's VERY fast, can get from his school to town to home in less than 1 hour 15 mins. (once did it in an hour)

When it links up bad or ok it still about 10 mins quicker than the car which can take 1 hour 45 mins and over 2 hours if there is a crash, which there very often is.

I think a straight through service would be best, his school is in a bit of a black hole in terms of direct/fast routes to town. there is a direct bus to town that's a 10 min walk away but it's slow as hell.

As I mentioned though it's the waiting that he hates, so if there was a direct bus that right across the city, close to where I live, we'd only have to wait at the bus stop once. I could strategically park my car there and then when we get off, we could just jump in the car for the last mile or two.

Might investigate that more actually

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122891300#Comment_122891300

Did you consider the option of staying downstairs?

billyhead

Op. I understand his frustration with waiting but he needs to grow a pair and put up with it otherwise you will create a sense of entitlement everytime he wants something.

nearby_cheetah

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122891305#Comment_122891305

Anybody that has respect for their personal safety, appearance, odor or general well-being don't choose public transport as they are all under attack with the riff-raff that is found on the bus or luas. People who work in IT don't generally care about these things anyway. DART may differ since it serves well to do areas only.

mikeybhoy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122891284#Comment_122891284

Why are children less capable of standing than adults?

07Lapierre

your the parent…give him a clip around the ear and tell him to do as he’s told!

Beta Ray Bill

Few replies about me being the parent and to do as hes told.

Just to clarify, he always does what hes told, that's not the problem.

The problem is I feel I'm inadvertently teaching him to hate public transport.

Flinty997

You're very quick to dismiss the cycling. There are often alternative routes which are not dangerous to cycle. You don't have to cycle the whole journey you get a folding bike and do a mix. Of course if one stage is bus only and can't be cycled then your snookered.

With out knowing the route is hard to make suggestions.

Because the kid is right the car is mostly better except where it isn't. But it's route and time dependant.

Perhaps something can be made to make the journey better. A pit stop for tea and a bun. Book shop, a comic. Often it's the experience rather than the journey.

Sometimes there an alternative route which is longer or slower, but more enjoyable.

CramCycle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122893400#Comment_122893400

I haven't the time nor the energy to start an after hours style response to this. Public Transport users everywhere I imagine are glad you don't use it.

Seth Brundle

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