Work and illness

Dual wheels

I have a difficult predicament at the moment I’m looking for some advice on. I work in insurance and have done more or less for the past 20 years, since Covid I’ve really struggled mentally with work, I changed jobs a couple of times to see if that made a difference but it has only gotten worse, working from home had put a plaster over it somewhat but I’m now in a new job only 5 months, still on probation and I’m finding it really tough, I dislike the role and the work, I’ve just had enough essentially but to make matters worse they are demanding we go into the office and this really affects me mentally, I live a good distance from the office in Dublin and the travel really affects me, I’ve a young family at home and am struggling to cope with long days, I hate being in the office, staring at a screen all day, crowded room, the glaring lights and heat, it’s all too much for me. As I say I’ve a young family at home so I need a wage coming in, I’m still on probation. I took out income protection about 4 years back so I’m thinking I need to go to my doctor and discuss my mental health with him and maybe take time off work. Should I try and hold out until I am made permanent and then get signed off? I don’t necessarily want my manager and people at work to know I am suffering mental health issues either but I think I need time off, unsure of the best way forward here, as I mentioned I have income protection so maybe if I can get through the deferral period I can claim that and have an income coming in while I get myself sorted. Any advice much appreciated. Thank you

Ted222

It sounds like you need a break from work to get your head together. A break from work would give you the headspace to consider whether you can or want to continue in your current job.

If your GP certifies you as being unfit for work, then you owe it to yourself to heed the advice. Your health is paramount.

Check the conditions of Income Protection plan. I suspect it applies to cases of more prolonged absences.

bilbot79

Apologies if this comes across as overly unsympathetic but on the face of it this just sounds like you're tired of the job.

None of us like being in the office with the lights, the heat etc. Nor do people like being far away from the office but we have to do it to bring the money in. It's a daily grind where it is pointless to rail against your fate and the best thing to do is accept it as that will make it easier to get up and get on with it. You can't beat work, so 'join' it as it were.

Mental health is important but at some point there has to be a line drawn where normal rules apply and on the face of it I don't see your situation as warranting being signed out and potentially it's a bit fraudulent to do so if this is just a case of being tired of the daily grind.

Potentially you're in a situation that simply doesn't suit you anymore and maybe you need a new job, somewhere closer to home or move closer to work etc.

Caveat being that this is just a comment from an online poster that doesn't know you from Adam of course.

Dual wheels

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122699730#Comment_122699730

thanks for the advice, my income protection has a 3 month deferral period, so if I end up being off longer than that I can put in a claim, I wonder is there any circumstances where income protection doesn’t pay out

Dual wheels

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122700332#Comment_122700332

Thanks for your comments, yes I believe I am tired of my job and need a change however it’s not easy to just switch and I need a certain income to pay my bills, but it’s become more than just being fed up, it’s affected me to the point where I can’t sleep at night, I’m constantly stressed, physically it’s affected me with headaches, neck and back problems, dizziness and probably a touch of depression, the truth is I’ve just gotten on with it for years and it’s not come to a point where it’s affecting my health

Ted222

If you’re willing to disclose the extent to which you’re stressed, you could ask your manager for some form of exemption from the company requirement to attend every day. If you can support this with a doctor’s note, so much the better.

If you’ve been doing the job satisfactorily from home since you started, it’s not an unreasonable request.

As you’ve alluded to, it would be preferable to wait until you’ve been there at least a year but it doesn’t sound like you have the luxury of waiting that long.

Dual wheels

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122700969#Comment_122700969

thanks for the advice, I will be made permanent shortly so perhaps I’m better off to try struggle through until then to take any further steps otherwise they might not keep me on and then I’m screwed

caviardreams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122700344#Comment_122700344

Is it only the job, or is it something underlying and the job is just exacerbating it?

Sounds like a visit to your GP and some therapy may help work through some things or at least help you develop coping skills to handle the job better

Murt2024

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122699746#Comment_122699746

I'd ignore this poster OP. Most workplaces take mental health very seriously these days. It's not the 2000's anymore and a lot of wellness days and offer counselling support services if needed.

It can become overbearing and some people do need time out whether its burnout or mental health issues. If you need a break take it.

Ted222

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122701150#Comment_122701150

okay but be aware, an employee’s permanency is still not guaranteed in the first 12 months, even if a six month probationary period applies.

Dual wheels

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122701692#Comment_122701692

but it says in my contract I will be made permanent after 6 months

Dual wheels

Thanks I appreciate your message, I think time out is what I need to pause and look after myself and then see from there on

Dual wheels

I think it’s a culmination of things, I think I pushed and pushed myself in my career for so long and got to the point where I’m burned out, I no longer enjoy the job, I can’t concentrate on the job and I think I would have been in this position a few years ago only Covid came and I was working from home and it made things a bit more bearable as I didn’t have the long commute and sitting in an office 8,9,10 hours a day. I don’t think I was ever really cut out for it but pushed myself hard and now in my mid 40s just can’t do it any more, I’ve changed employers a couple of times thinking that might help but it’s just made things significantly worse, I think I need time out, get my mental health sorted then try get into something less stressful

Ted222

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122702182#Comment_122702182

if it uses that wording you should be okay but the legislation requires at least 12 months service for cases of unfair dismissal

caviardreams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122702229#Comment_122702229

You can ring up your employee assistance service tomorrow and probably get a free counselling appointment for next week (and 5 more sessions). They do them via teams/zoom now from your own home. This will allow you space and time to talk through things without making any drastic decisions / changes. It will help you come to the right decisions for yourself, and explore all options

Dual wheels

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122702574#Comment_122702574

thanks for the advice, is this something my employer should have?

caviardreams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122702588#Comment_122702588

Yes, 90%+ of employers offer to staff to cover themselves from liability against litigation from causing workers stress, i.e. they can say they offer counselling through their employee assistance service to help prevent work stress injuries. Very small family businesses may not offer it but if it's in any kind of size company at all I'd imagine there's probably an Employee Assistance Programme or service available.

Check your employee handbook or even google it and you may see it listed in job adverts as a benefit

drunkmonkey

What do you do to unwind? Do you take time for yourself, head to the gym a few nights a week, maybe for a swim or a walk in the evening, chat to the lads in the sauna. Few pints on a Friday evening down the local. We all need a vent especially someone with a young family.

The day comes when you get sick of the office, go do something different if it's not for you anymore, I'm not convinced trying to medicate yourself out of this or string along a job you don't want to be in is the way forward.

I know you need money but there's chaps out there flying around in teleporters bringing home good money and 0 worries.

Dual wheels

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122702731#Comment_122702731

I’m probably not doing enough for myself to decompress, I think I do need a different career and right now driving a forklift all day would be very nice, I need to get my head sorted and possibly then look at something different, easier said that done

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122702678#Comment_122702678

I disagree that 90% of employers will have this service. Only large employers/companies will have a counselling service or an employee assistance service in place. The vast majority of companies in Ireland wont have anything in place or wont even have a HR department.

caviardreams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122703508#Comment_122703508

Sorry, I have always worked for employers (some quite small SMEs) who offered it, so was basing it on that, but interesting to hear this. My error, I wrongly thought it was the norm

boardsdotie44

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122702229#Comment_122702229

Your mental health is your priority, take the time, go and see your doc.. trust me, no one else can help you, other than yourself… you aint gonna get special treatment from any employer / manager.. you do whats best for you..

Was kinda in a similar boat 6/7 years ago, was out for nearly a year.. be careful of income protection tho, they will try their best not to pay, so make sure you read all the conditions (the small print)..

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058373295/work-and-illness

OP I think we some of us in our 40's feel a bit like you do. I know I do - Im also fed up with my job and the pressure Im under but I dont know what else I can do. Like you we need the money and starting off in something new isnt an option with a family and mortgage - so I guess were stuck.

I think its hard bringing up kids, running a house, caring for older parents and working full time. It feels like Im on a threadmill and cant get off. I dont really have any advice for you but just wanted to say you are not alone. Be good to yourself and remember that this stage in your life is temporary - things will get better. Maybe take some time off to reset if you can.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122703516#Comment_122703516

Unfortunately most companies still run a mile from anything mental health related - even big companies. They are more likely to come up with a plan to manage an employee out of the company than offer them counselling. Management may say the right things but ultimately they see anyone with mental health issues as a liability.

I work as an accountant and I have had many clients query how to get rid of someone or make them redundant while they are out sick in a legal way - naturally we tell them this cant be done. Mental health illness seems to be looked at in a very unsympathetic way by employers.

boardsdotie44

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122703543#Comment_122703543

Agree, I think work kinds peaks in your 40's.. for me anyway.. up until then you are gaining experience, then you land the role with all the stress / responsibility, plus family, your getting older so not as much energy, plus all the financial pressures, it all builds up and you just feel overwhelmed!

caviardreams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122703579#Comment_122703579

I totally agree, unfortunately. And all the employers who do offer it, it's for their own benefit. So that if an employee says they have had stress caused by the job, the employer can turn around and say they have an employee assistance service available to support staff who may be suffering from stress and so they're not liable for any injuries caused through workplace stress.

It's offered as a backside covering move to protect against personal injury litigation and not for employees' well-being whatsoever, despite that being the PR campaign around it. Any time an employee mentions stress or workload, they'll just get pointed to the Employee Assistance Service to imply that it's the employee's fault and not the workload or the employer. For most employers, it's therefore well worth the small amount of money for this benefit to them.

Not to say it is not helpful for employees for lots of reasons, but it is provided by employers for self-serving reasons

Dual wheels

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122703757#Comment_122703757

I hear you, it certainly all builds up and the further you go the more pressures there are

Dual wheels

Yes, I’ve unfortunately seen it happen myself, there is a lot of box ticking and being seen to say and do the right thing when it comes to mental health but in reality it’s not taken seriously and is seen as a liability

Dual wheels

I hear exactly what you are saying, sorry you are going through it also, thanks for your comments.

Dual wheels

Thanks for your comment, yes the income protection is worrying me, if I did end up in a situation where I did need it, I know how insurance companies operate and will do anything not to pay out, is there anything in particular I should watch out for?

boardsdotie44

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122704078#Comment_122704078

Hard to say what to look out for, is their a section specifically on mental health maybe? Or types of illnesses it covers etc, I think alot of these plans only cover specific illnesses.. I had actually enquired about this earlier this year, but decided against it, and went for health insurance instead…you could call them and ask, if they say you are covered to try and get that in writing..

Jim2007

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122704078#Comment_122704078

Well unless you worked for an insurance company at a fairly senior level you don't know who insurance companies. Perhaps you've read a click bait articles or watched a few videos, all intended to advantage the creator in some way or other. On top of this there are a lot of chancers out trying to claim income protection in very doggy circumstances and looking to social media to try and pressurise the insurance companies.

So put all of that out of your mind and deal with the actual facts - the terms and conditions of the actual policy you took out and your actual diagnosis. Because that is what the claim will be based on in the end and the loss adjusters are restricted by those same terms and conditions.

nearby_cheetah

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122704067#Comment_122704067

Of course it's a liability. If we all went on the sick for 'mental illness' because we're busy and fed-up, no-one would be working.