Catch 22 IVF

spotthedog99

Hi folks,

I have found myself in an IVF catch 22 and am looking for ideas. I'll try to keep this as simple as possible.

Here's my situation:

1. Ended a long term relationship before xmas
2. One child from that relationship via IVF in primary school currently
3. Met a girl on Tinder soon after the ending of the relationship and fell badly for her - she's nearly 50, no family
4. 2 months in she says that she had already began the process of IVF before meeting me - donor egg and sperm
5. Wants me to stay even though I did IVF reluctantly before-hand and struggle with fatherhood
6. We live on opposite sides of the city

I've been toiling with this for months and it boils down to this as far as I can see: (6 month relationship)

1. Be a dad again while turning 50 and all of the stuff that comes with that, aged parenting, retirement, single child, no siblings, no support structure (I have no family nor her), child not mine
2. Leave and let her focus on IVF and becoming a mother and or returning to the relationship if unsuccessful (I know this is ****)
3. Leave and come back to it come what may in about a year or so

thanks

Princess Calla

Personally the situation wouldn't be for me.

For one you are only out of a long term relationship, you need time to process that.

From the sounds of things you didn't really want to be a dad to your own biological child, again I suspect that was one of the reasons the relationship broke down.

Now when you met the new girl everything was shiny and new no family stresses, she was "too old" to have children so it was like being a teenager again.

Now she's dropped this bombshell....no idea why she's on tinder while becoming pregnant, this is not a Jennifer Lopez romcom.

You have your misgivings, walk away now and find someone who either doesn't want kids or has them reared!