Are you a selfish person

drury..

I try to give a little back these days

I check on my children and see if they need anything

If someone needs something doing i try to give a little selflessly

Also I try not to blame for the person i am

muzakfan

Yes. Look after my partner and child, make sure the bills are paid, food on the table, decent lifestyle etc.

Genuinely could not give af about anyone else beyond that. Don't feel any remorse for being / thinking like that either.

Shellfishfcuker

Well I'm starting on the back foot in this thread.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058358104/are-you-a-selfish-person

Step aside Mother Theresa, there's a new top dog in town

Leg End Reject

I'm very generous to myself.

taxAHcruel

Overall most definitely not by a long way.

Individual moments - well we all are sometimes.

Summary: I can't see it as a yes no question but more where you fall on an overall continuum.

jamieon

Id only care about a very select few people, the rest I really couldn't give a toss. No issue with it either !

elperello

We all are a bit but you have to moderate your selfishness to get by.

gym_imposter

I wasn't near selfish enough when I was young and it was my downfall

I'm much more selfish nowadays as most people aren't worth being generous to

branie2

No

Yvonne007

I don't care about myself (and am quite abusive to myself), but I care deeply about my family and would rabidly put their wellbeing above anyone else.

So yes, I am selfish, but only in so much that the people I love matter more to me than anyone else in the world.

z80CPU

Yes. Especially after the outbreak of the Middle East War in October 2023. Gave far to much to the Palestinian side. It made no difference. Need to focus on number 1 now.

StevenToast

Looking after your kids doesnt mean you're not selfish OP....

standardg60

I would go out of my way to help people who matter to me or who I know would reciprocate, or strangers in a predicament through no fault of their own I may come across. I paid a 15 Euro bill for a young girl in a shop recently because her revolut card wouldn't work and she was in a panic.

Don't ask me to give to beggars or charities though.

BaywatchHQ

To an extent, as an incel man in society I need to do what is right for me rather than pleasing a society than hates me anyway. For example if I find my mental health is failing I won't think twice about leaving work and signing on welfare. It is a cruel world for men like me and I will do what suits me to get by.

Strumms

I don’t believe I’m selfish….. but I do prioritise my wellbeing.

Potential-Monke

Everyone is. Just most people won't admit to it. As long and they and theirs are ok and looked after, they couldn't give 2 tosses about anyone or anything else, but they'll pretend to in order to save face in front of all the other liars. I used to be nicer, less selfish, but you get taken advantage so now I look after number 1, and I don't let my problems be anyone else's. So while I am selfish, I'm also unselfish insofar as I don't expect anything from anyone else, unlike most others.

taxAHcruel

I think that might be a bit of "speak for yourself" there. It certainly doesn't track with me.

But I think there are a couple of things that some people misunderstand when this kind of topic comes up. Putting you and yours first does not make you selfish. As you say above - we all do that. It's what you do once you attain that that I think defines you as selfish or selfless or somewhere in between. Being selfish and selfless in other words is not mutually exclusive.

The second thing is that some people think you are not being selfless if anything you do accrues any benefit to you whatsoever. These tend to be the people who declare no selfless action anywhere exists. But again it's not mutually exclusive.

But I also think you should look at yourself not just in the current moment but over your entire time line. You said you were one way earlier and another way now. I do not think there is anything wrong with that. Especially if the sum total accrues to the selfless. If you spent a chunk of your life doing good for others and you are all about you NOW - then that's great. Nothing wrong with that at all. In fact I intend to do the same. I reckon I am going to give give give for many more years yet but the last 5 years of life I am going to become the most selfish me me me person you can imagine :)

z80CPU

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122333550#Comment_122333550

Your first sentence is very much resonant with my own downfall after helping a fellow student in college over 20 years ago. Play stupid games win stupid prizes!

A sage, seated beside the Ganges, notices a scorpion that has fallen into the water. He reaches down and rescues it, only to be stung. Some time later, he looks down and sees the scorpion thrashing about in the water again. Once more, he reaches down to rescue it, and once more, he is stung. A bystander observing all this exclaims, "Holy one, why do you keep doing that? Don't you see that the wretched creature will only sting you in return?" "Of course," the sage replied. "It is the dharma of a scorpion to sting, But it is the dharma of a human to save.

We all do it, we all get burned, we all strive to do it again. (with greater resiliance to scorpion stings)

Hotblack Desiato

A very annoying person sat next to me on my first day in college and they were hanging around like a bad smell for the next 3 years. I should've just told them to fcuk off on day one but like a sap, I didn't.

elperello

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122380324#Comment_122380324

That's not really being selfish it's just a regret for not following your gut instinct.

Time and again I've lived to regret not going by that first impression that "this is a wrong'un".

It happens to us all.

Hotblack Desiato

I should've been more selfish is what I mean. Put myself first.

lawred2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058358104/are-you-a-selfish-person

Everyone is self interested

elperello

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122380699#Comment_122380699

Yes, let them go on their merry way and wreck someone else's head.

Life is too short to take on too much of other people's issues.

BrianD3

The average person is quite stupid and combined with "notions", this is a major reason why they are so selfish. The main way that they achieve "success" in life is by trampling on others. They don't have the intellectual horsepower to plan ahead or consider the wider implications of their actions. All they see is what's directly in front of their noses, MY job and MY money and ME ME ME. Expecting them not to be selfish would be like expecting a dog not to bark.

Selfish attitudes can be seen everywhere from workplaces to on our roads. By the time children reach secondary school, selfish attitudes that they've learned from their selfish parents are already baked in.

Just today I was in the supermarket and two women were nattering away to each other at the entrance. I asked to get by them, they barely moved and gave me sour looks. 20 minutes later when I was on the way out they were still in the same spot. How many people did they annoy in that time.

People are, in general, awful. I try to limit my interactions with them as much as possible e.g. by learning skills so that i'm not as dependent on selfish, useless, lazy, sloppy tradesmen.

If you re in a situation where you are dependent on others and have few or no other options, you are fcuked. I see this with my relative who is in poor health and has to regularly interact with healthcare and social care workers, relying on them to do their jobs which they are seemingly incapable of doing. They don't give a sh*te. I've had homecare workers discard their rubbish on my property. Cigarette butts on the ground outside, used gloves thrown on the floor inside when there is a bin provided. Shur somone else (me) will pick it up. How lazy and selfish is that.

In our lives we encounter people who harm us, insult us, plot against us, whose actions seem calculated to thwart the successful achievement of our goals. Sometimes these are obvious acts, such as a co-worker who continually steals our ideas or speaks badly of us to our boss. Sometimes these acts are subtle - a friend, relative or colleague who unexpectedly betrays us or who we find has been surreptitiously speaking negatively about us behind our back.

Slowly we find that our own actions, words and thoughts become driven by anger and pain. We find ourselves engaged in cunning thoughts of revenge. Before we realize it we are injuring ourselves by allowing negative emotions to dominate us. They insulted us or plotted against us or sabotaged a well-deserved achievement at work. But we injure ourselves more deeply and gravely by allowing our hearts and minds to darken.

Our dharma is to be kind, pure, honest, giving, sharing and caring. Others, due to ignorance, lack of understanding or due to the way in which their own karmic drama is unfolding, may act with malice, deceit, selfishness and indifference. But we must not let their actions or their ignorance deprive us of fulfilling our dharma. We must not allow ourselves to be lowered by their ignorance, their habits or their greed. The darkness in their heart should not be allowed to penetrate into the lightness of our hearts.

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/the-saint-and-the-scorpion/articleshow/6451408.cms

Sponge25

I'm selfless to a fault. To me, selfish people are bad people and I have no time for them. I cut them out of my life completely wherever possible. I also get a very strong sense of joy and satisfaction out of giving or relieving the suffering of others. I must admit, my good nature only extends to good people, which often seem to be in the minority, I couldn't care less about bad people. Also, my good nature has caused me some misery, a lot of things I have done for people were forgotten really quickly but when I was desperately in need a while ago I was surprised how generous the few people who came to my aid were.

ILoveYourVibes

I was going to say yes. But then looking at the replies has revealed a lot by comparison and now I think that I am not.

Woodcutting

A lot of people are users will come with fake smiles when they want something. But if anything needed from them they are not to be seen.

I always give to buskers at least they try to make an effort. Never to beggars, whether on the street or professional beggars in a "charity '

Dial Hard

These threads always make me wonder what kind of dickheads a lot of people seem to surround themselves with.