How common are work faps?

Mr Disco

be honest - who takes a little personal time on company time?

artanevilla

Too risky, best case scenario when you get caught is you get a nickname, the worst you end up on the sex offenders register.

LetticebCivil

I hope this is not a thing

MrMusician18

https://youtu.be/8vAFA4n40Eg?si=qfot5Eo8Qj7tJtfe

You gotta feed the geese to keep the blood flowing

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122302552#Comment_122302552

Anyone engaging in this sort of “thing” before lunch is in for a, very, long afternoon.

You’d expect it to be something in the “wheelhouse” of the low level drone but I’ve worked in a place where a very senior figure was caught in a, very, compromising “situation” watching some hardcore pornography.

The guy was too important to face any real disciplinary action so, as “punishment”, he was sent down to sit with the admin pool.

It is incredibly uncomfortable, and terrible etiquette on their part, when you’re sat in the jacks and you hear the little “tic” and muffled thump of a fap in action. What sort of degenerate wouldn’t use the special needs toilets, if they were going to “commit” such an act?

BrianD3

I never did and never would - freezing cold toilet that some pig has sh1t all over 5 minutes earlier, I'd say I'd barely be able to get it up let alone finish myself.

There was a funny thread on here a while back about people "working" from home and fapping to female colleagues that they were on zoom calls with.

Avatar in the Post

Surely, of all threads… this needs a "pole"

BrianD3

One would wonder if employees were frequently in a state of post fap clarity, would productivity, creativity and innovation improve. After a good fap, you'd have great ideas, know exactly how to proceed and have no qualms about telling some idiot that his sh1t ideas were sh1t.

Providing fap rooms might be a bridge too far but as a compromise staff could be issued with these. No sharing of devices obviously.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-gyGwHiPQM

LetticebCivil

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122302597#Comment_122302597

😫dear lord

sprucemoose

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKH9ECC_Qa4

..

Donald Trump

Some places come down fairly heavy on such behaviour.

They took one of my stars off me and took me off the burger station and put me in charge of the fries back in the day.

corks finest

Brilliant

Padre_Pio

Im fairly sure my firstborn was conceived on company time.

The joys of working from home.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122302907#Comment_122302907

Well to be fair, you have the advantage of being able to bilocate

CorneliusBrown

Proud to say I have never jacked at work, but as I am a tiler this would mean jacking in my clients bathrooms and using homemade grouting. Years ago when I did office work I never jacked either. Often in office toilets there is the unbearable odour from the last man’s loaf so in the first instance that would put me off, but also, if you are jacking into the toilet you would no doubt be adding your own seed to the remains of other men’s fecal matter which has stuck to the toilet. Again, this just doesn’t do it for me, as the youth say. Finally, my wife takes care of me very well and we are plugging away like rabbits almost every day, sometimes twice a day. Despite our age and my weight, she will perform any kind of activity that appears in my fantasies. We have videos and liquid and tape and all sorts of things these days

CorneliusBrown

also at lot of these would be married men? Did their wives provide the dirty pictures?

Kurooi

Often, it's always a slow day at the morgue when there aren't any funerals on.

Alexus25

Since when are men such animals that you have to give yourself a **** in work, be smart and have someone else do it for you, work smart, not hard

Baba Yaga

said it before…a tommy tank a day helps you work,rest and play!

Hooked

46 years old. Male. Fond of an auld tug…

NEVER have I done it at the workplace. And I started working at 16.

greenspurs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122302762#Comment_122302762

D fuq is that !????? 🤔 😫

RiderOnTheStorm

I do love to go to the jacks on company time and think that I am getting paid to crap …… must be the icing on the cake if you knock one out there too! lol

RiderOnTheStorm

….funny story…..

quite a few years ago, my mate & I decided to go up onto the roof of our office. He had just been trained in something to do with Health & Safety for our office and had been shown how to stop the lifts manually (and wind them up & down also) from the little room on the roof of our 4 storey building. So …. y'know…. boys and big toys …. off we went. Top floor, out the emergency exit to the roof, walked across the top (flat roof) and just opened the door to the wheel-house , and saw a guy sitting on a crate, pants around ankles and a laptop on his lap, having a fap! He prob thought he was in the safest place possible….. no one ever comes up here (no pun). We about faced immediately, left him to it, and returned the following day for a look at the big wheels & cables (very interesting by the way). We have no idea who he was or how he got there . Never saw him before or since.

CorneliusBrown

I used to sneak the wife in for a few in and outs back in the day but it upset the lads on security. They were sound enough fellahs, polish, and they suggested the bushes outside but we decided against at it in case they decided to film

fatherted1969

Groin glue and devil's doorbell, two descriptions of fapping I'd never in my 55 years heard tell of until today, thanks very much

Raichų

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122304006#Comment_122304006

work smart, not hard

that’s the plan yeah

greenspurs

theres a guy that does where i am.

Can see shadow from his toilet cubicle …….. He is very quiet though !

SharkMX

I used to work with a lad who would say "Im going for a danger **** in the jacks." Keep a look out.

Mister Vain

There are obviously plenty of people with cushy jobs if they have time to be shaking hands with the one eyed milkman.

CorneliusBrown

hi guys, I seem unable to post a new thread but I have a question. Is it normal to have a freckle on your penis? And if so, how many of the men here have one?

DialecticAspirations

I guess if it doesn't do any harm, maybe it's ok.

But what about the next guy who has to use the urinal?

Baasterd

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122304006#Comment_122304006

Sadly the days of Tracey from accounts or your new secretary taking care of things are long gone I think…

Baasterd

#1

Montage of Feck

There a place and time for everything! The manky work jacks is the last place that would put me in the mood for it.

Juza1973

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122307219#Comment_122307219

Ask a doctor, I have no clue. It's not on mine.

BrianD3

You'd wonder if workplace fappers are fapping about work colleagues in work. I'd say that you'd get a good emptying of the seminal vesicles from doing that. Imagine having a flirty conversation with Deirdre the hot receptionist, heading off to the jax and returning to chat to D a few minutes later with your dirty secret and a slight odour of bleach off you.

All sort of filthy perves in offices anyway. Seat sniffers, sanitary bin enthusiasts etc.

Baba Yaga

as an experiment and to take one for the team as it were,spent a few hours earlier in work chatting up the good looking girl in the canteen,the super hot cleaner thats in today and the girl on reception with the huge airbags…went to the quiet jacks on the top floor…used the old,very imaginative imagination and….nothing…smell wasnt great,the remains of a skidmark in the pot,doors banging and then some lad came in to have an 'emergency dump'…so in conclusion id say youd want to have been starved for about three years and a severe case of blue balls to even half think about having a tommy tank in work…

greenspurs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122309756#Comment_122309756

Some amount of 'comedians' around Boards these days …… 😴

is there no "Comedy Club" thread ??

Potential-Monke

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122309756#Comment_122309756

Work nights for a company that has nobody else working nights. Added benefit of being the first to use the jacks after the evening cleaning so a lovely fresh chemical smell to get one in the mood, no worries of previous tenants skidmarks, and guaranteed no interruption. It's like the situation is telling that one can if one wants.

I also get the feeling that some people think the conclusion of a wahnk is that picture of randy from South Park. No mess if one is even the smallest bit careful, and it's only 1.5-5ml on average so not exactly a gushing flow one needs to stop. Be wary of lads drinking hapes of coconut water!

BrianD3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122310629#Comment_122310629

If someone has reached the desperation stage of fapping in an average work toilet in the presence of other men's stink and skidmarks, they're likely horny as hell with seminal vesicles engorged to the max. Result would be a bigger, gloopier load. Not South Park levels of mess but there may be an animalistic, territory marking instinct for a workplace fapper to spooge everywhere and not clean it up. Animals.

BaywatchHQ

I used to at school as I had a teacher fetish but never at any job as all jobs I've had were sausage fests so never felt the temptation to.

Lewis_Benson

I'd say it's "Rampant" in the Civil Service. God knows they do fook all work so would have plenty of time for Extra Curricular "Activities".

Yep, your tax Euros are paying for their fap time.

EmmetSpiceland

I worked in a place where they called a lad ‘Joey the Grips’, a play on the character from Roddy Doyle’s ‘The Commitments’. His name was, actually, Joseph and they told him the nickname was because he always had “such a good grip of things”.

The real reason was because, at least, once a day Joey would return from the toilets red-faced with just his right sleeve rolled up and he’d be slightly out of breath. He was definitely less cranky to deal with after his return.

Will Graham

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122302558#Comment_122302558

In the movie Shame, Fassbender's character demonstrated that it is indeed possible to masturbate regularly at work without getting caught.

CorneliusBrown

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122310213#Comment_122310213

hi, you never answered my pm about the freckle on the private part of your body?

silliussoddius

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122311440#Comment_122311440

Arm wrassling?

cheese sandwich

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122311475#Comment_122311475

I don’t think it was a documentary

Deebles McBeebles

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122307275#Comment_122307275

You can always give him a reacharound if you feel guilty.

Sgt Hartman

There’s a time and a place for that sort of thing but the workplace isn’t it. I’ve heard some stories about people in my workplace who were caught having a sneaky pedal n’ crank, including one oddball who was “sexting” his gf in the work changing room toilet cubicle, with accompanying moaning and slapping noises while there were other people changing outside. The last thing I’d want at work is to be known as the weirdo who jerks off 😅

corner of hells

Not a workplace fap but a building I worked in had a gym that opened at 6 am where a chef and waitress were caught in a cubicle by a security guard playing hide the sausage after their reflection could be seen after the floor had been polished by the cleaners.

Neither were disciplined because their union advised they doing it on their own time also the union also insisted the floor be changed in case anymore reflections were seen.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122311317#Comment_122311317

I used to do it at school as well. Until the principal went completely mental at me one day over it.

Said that that was the last time that I was allowed to supervise the 6th year girls PE class and that I'd be fired if I did it again.