OCD and micromanaging

winglets

I have really reached the end of the line with my current job which I've been in for 6 and a half years now and simply cannot tolerate my boss’ controlling, micromanaging, OCD behaviour which is starting to eat away at my psyche and confidence. He started a year and a half ago and since then 2 of my previous work colleagues have already left, a some months apart from being long term happy employees with my old boss to falling apart, stressed out and fed up, simply because they could not tolerate him any longer.

The micromanaging, the intensity, the obsession with his job has never stopped, irrespective of what I do or don't do. The OCD explains the constant perfectionism, the exaggerated reactions over the very minor mistakes, just like the OCD person who would go mad if their things were moved a millimetre out of place. Every day spent with him is so draining, I feel exhausted even when's he just in the office and not speaking. Constantly picking up minor faults whether it's one small typo in an email to pointing out one thing I didn't manage to do despite having done everything else perfectly. He went away earlier this year for 2 weeks on holiday and spent every day on his emails. Doesn't ever stop working, evenings, weekends, doesn't matter. Every event, every meeting, every task is like a military exercise as if we're going out to battle, which is why whenever I do mess up even in such a minor way, he loses the plot and almost takes it personally as if I've insulted his mother. This could be a slight misunderstanding with the wording of an email to simply not doing something he expected me to do but didn't tell me.

I can provide so many examples of the above but I don’t want to come across as ranting and take up too much time here and also there’s just so many. He has this way of making you feel so useless and it's just demoralising to the point where you lose confidence in yourself and start believing you have a problem. Like early on, how he mentioned to both myself and my ex colleague, that we had a problem with attention to detail, due to making the odd typo here and there or misspelling someone's name once. I almost started to believe that perhaps I did have an issue with attention to detail because he said this numerous times in the first few months every time I made a very minor mistake. Looking back, this is simply being human and making a small mistake. Isn't this gaslighting?

Anyway, I'm really at a breaking point now, and so my question is, is there a reasonable cause for me to approach HR and at least discuss this? Will they be even interested in this? I don’t think I have a legal case here as nothing criminal or unethical has taken place and he hasn’t been abusive as such but just psychological damage and unfair treatment, in my view. But that’s the issue, how can this be proved? I have some emails which reflect his overbearing personality which may help. Obviously I don't want my boss to find out and wondering if HR will be unbiased. I think they should be given that they are a contractor. I just feel it’s come to the point now where he needs someone to hold him accountable. He’ll be totally fine with clients and others outside of the team but with the staff, he's a different person. It’s the reason these two other Members of staff left, my old boss who did the handover cannot stand him either and now myself, desperate to get out.

Mrs OBumble

Have you looked hard for another job?

If he really does have OCD, then expecting him not to display it at work would be discrimination against him, so I'd be doubtful about going near HR - because what can they actually do about it.

Kaisr Sose

The primary role of HR is to protect the company.

It does not seem to be a nice environment to work in. Excessive monitoring/micro managing is generally a red flag.

Has your employer got a Dignity at Work Policy?

Have you ever tried to discuss how you feel with your manager ? That may be your first poet of call before going to HR.

Buddy Bubs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122130062#Comment_122130062

Sorry, what?

AndrewJRenko

Have you had any conversations with him yourself about these issues, explaining how you best work (which is not under these conditions)?

winglets

@Kaisr Sose Thanks for the comment. Don't think we have that kind of policy. If I'm honest I'm fearful of going to him because firstly I feel he can use that against me and also because the previous employee brought to his attention that she was unhappy with him constantly nit picking, and that was a year ago and clearly nothing has changed. I think though it might be the only action I can take rather than going to HR. Because as I thought, not much HR can do and they're not there to get involved in disgruntles or if someone is just upset about workplace behaviour, unless of course something illegal has occurred. I think I just wanted someone in real life to share all this with.

The best course of action of course is to find new work and I am searching but it's not easy. I don't have a vocational degree and not a huge amount of experience in anything really. So it is hard work. I could re-train in something but again not sure what that could be.

Flinty997

Time to move on. Either to a different manager or a new job.

It may take a few moves to find a new manager or job that you like but that's life. 6 yrs in a job is a long time.

I don't think a leopard changes their spots when it comes to behaviour like this. I'm not sure what HR could do about it.

Ella108

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058351405/ocd-and-micromanaging

Oh I hear you and feel for you am currently going through something similar and I could have written this my self! I've resigned now and actively looking for work again while I'm serving a notice period which I didn't have to provide ( I am still on probation period) but it bought me time to look for another job , it's tough but not as tough to endure an environment like this

dennyk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122130062#Comment_122130062

That's not how accommodating a disability works. Having a disability doesn't give you carte blanche to perform your job poorly or act like an arsehole. If your disability makes it impossible for you to carry out the primary duties of your role to the standard your employer requires and there is no reasonable accommodation possible that would allow you to perform those duties to the required standard, you can still be dismissed for being unable to do your job properly (once the employer has followed the usual fair procedures to warn you that you aren't performing up to standard and are at risk of dismissal if your performance doesn't improve and all of that, of course).

If a manager's OCD is affecting their performance as a manager, their employer would need to try to work with them to correct their behaviour and provide reasonable accommodations if needed, but ultimately if the manager doesn't change their behaviour and continues to bully and micromanage their reports to such an excessive degree that multiple employees have resigned solely because of that manager's behaviour, and the employer's escalating disciplinary process or performance improvement process has not resulted in the manager's performance improving, the employer can dismiss that manager.

caviardreams

Most employers would not see bullying as a performance issue unfortunately. In fact, as employers are the ones liable for bullying, not the bully, they generally ignore it or cover it up if it is any way possible.