Emotional abuse

suzybear87

Hi

How do you know whats emotional abuse and whats not.

Constantly fighting, constantly been accused off texting, cheating etc

Afraid to be myself and always end up crying

Feel like im the only one in the relationship that cares

marilynrr

I think sometimes people feel that abuse is only abuse if the person intends to abuse their partner, so if they think that the other person only does those things because they're insecure or paranoid or have past trauma then it's not abuse, but it still is.

I'm going to assume you've never cheated on your partner in the past or been caught texting people, is that correct?

When you say you're afraid to be yourself what do you mean? Have you had to change your behaviour or what you say in order to appease your partner?

How long have you been together and how long has your partner been like this?

Hannibal_Smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058347523/emotional-abuse

It's hard to know sometimes because it can be so subtle. But whether something is abusive or not shouldn't be the standard you set before deciding the relationship isn't for you. If you're miserable, afraid to be yourself and always crying, that's enough to have you reevaluate whether the relationship is for you.

rodderss

If your better off out of it then leave, if not sort it out. Very black and white reply i know but you only get 1 life.

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122036980#Comment_122036980

This exactly. I don’t think there is a need to define it as abuse or not (unless you feel in danger and in need or a barring order) in order to take action. How could a relationship where you are constantly crying and arguing be a happy one, and if it’s not adding happiness/fulfilment to your life then it’s not worth having.
Are there children involved? If so I know it’s not as easy as a straightforward end it. But if there aren’t - for your own mental health and happiness - please have the courage and the self care to break up with this person and be on your own and be free.

JoChervil

The worst thing for any relationship is indifference. If you are constantly fighting, so strong emotions are between you both, which might have been implemented in a negative way. When kid doesn't get a positive feedback, they often provoke parents to get any reaction, even negative one to feel they are important to them. But you are not responsible for their inadequacy in showing their vulnerability to ask for love. This person is an adult.

It may be the case but it also may be the case that you are simply incompatible pressing each other buttons. Maybe you both need emotional healing so you attracted each other to enlarge your problems to become aware of them and solve them. But I am afraid, you won't achieve it without therapeutical work. At current state this relationship on its own might destroy you.

Some people stay in such situation to get severe emotional beating to get to the rock bottom and see their inner value to eventually rise from the ashes but this is a very painful way and I wouldn't recommend it. Because nothing is guaranteed here, only pain.

I would leave this relationship and undertake a therapy to avoid ending in such situation again.