Witty public toilet graffiti

Mr Disco

what happened to this list art form? My favourite from a few years back -

“when the bottom if falling out of your world eat a good curry and let the world fall out of your bottom”

PP Lee

“Problems? Prayer works wonders, prayer works miracles “ St Francis

I found the above graffiti line on several public toilets back in the early 2000’s

Fr Tod Umptious

On the condom machine in The Field Pub, Cambridge, Massachusetts back in the 90s.

"For refund insert baby"

Still my favorite.

FCTwenteBenson

Long since painted over

"In this toilet do not linger, use the paper not your finger, if the paper cant be found, wipe your arse along the ground"

dxhound2005

LOLOAQIC. I82QB4IP.

There's no Gays in Ireland except Gay Byrne. And he's a Lesbian.

randd1

The best one I saw for a while was on a series of cubicles labelled as Trap 1, Trap 2, up to Trap 6.

pauly58

From a long time ago " Here I sit broken hearted, paid my penny only farted "

mfceiling

Anyone interested in time travel?

Meet me here last Tuesday at 6 p.m

PGE1970

On a urinal in a pub …

"If you can pi$$ this high, you should be in the fire brigade".

The Continental Op

Long ago spotted in the campsite toilets on the Isle of Skye in Scotland.

Turds heavier than one ton to be lowered by hand.

The Continental Op

"The painters works is all in vain the bog house poet strikes again"

Gregor Samsa

"The only good thing about the Southside is the view of the Northside"

FÁS, Cabra, 1999

Day Lewin

"Those who write on Heaven’s walls
should mold their **** in little balls.
And those who read these lines of wit
Should eat these little balls of ****."

by the excellent Kurt Vonnegut; (God bless you, Mr Rosewater) - about a failed poet.

The Continental Op

OP does this count

Economics101

"It's no use standing on the seat; the crabs in here can jump six feet"

pauly58

Some come in to sit & think, some come in to **** & stink, some come in to scratch their balls & read the writing on the walls.

MarkR

Above the toilet paper, Arts Degrees, take one. Harsh.

The Continental Op

University toilets near physics labs

Balls Law:

The angle of dangle is proportional to the throb of the nob provided the urge remains constant.

artanevilla

"Benny Harvey RIP. Miss you big man."

cnocbui

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122004763#Comment_122004763

The version related to me around 1973 was: "Please don't stand on the toilet seat, the crabs in here can jump six feet" This was realted to me by a former naval person, who said he saw it on his travels.

griffin100

Toilets in Trinity in about 1990 -

‘Blacks out of Dublin’

….and beneath it someone had written…..

‘What, all one of them?’

JupiterKid

Trinity Hamilton science building jacks, Autumn 1993

Arrow pointing to the gap at door bottom:- "Beware the dreaded limbo dancer."

The Continental Op

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122005758#Comment_122005758

Had forgotten that one, I can remember a time when it was surprising not to find that written on the bottom of the bog door.

Seem to remember, "Smile, You're on Candid Camera" was another very common bit of latrinalia (yes google spell checker thats a real word).

cml387

There was one

N*****r's Out

To which someone had added

..but he'll be back shortly.

ELM327

On the door of a service station toilet lock, the simple but effective , with a left arrow indicating door locked, "poop alone" and with a right arrow indicating door open, "poop with friends"

sundodger5

Stardate 23/45/34 Beamed down for a piss.

Kirk

cj maxx

one in NYC

Worker’s of the world unite

Black people of the world unite

Dyslexics of the world untie

The Continental Op

Dyslexics rule KO

JaimeLannister

Top floor of the UCD library:

"Ag is to science as special is to olympics"

Always got a laugh out of me!

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122004786#Comment_122004786

Not wrong though.

Gregor Samsa

No matter how you shake and dance, the last few drops stay in your pants.

silliussoddius

….

MarkR

Our butt cheeks have touched the same surface. We are bothers. We are one.

corner of hells

’ **** it , I’m not wiping my arse today’ , building site toilet IFSC circa 1992.

The Continental Op

Only found in the thinking mans bog

"God is dead." Nietzsche
"Nietzsche is dead." God

denismc

From our college toilet in the 90s

"We don't **** in your folders, so please don't write on our toilets. Signed; The Caretakers "

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122004763#Comment_122004763

If you think that's fúcking high

Go next door the bastards fly.

Swinging from chains and such resources

Is laughed at by their airborne forces.

That ain't the reason, it's a fúcking wrangle

To give my bollocks room to dangle.

Nodster

Belfield Students Bar late 70's

Please flush twice, it's a long way to the Restaurant

scudzilla

When i lived in Wales i was Head Doorman at the (only) local nightclub, i wrote on the wall in the ladies jacks…..'Scud has a huge kock"

The action i got out of that one went on for ages

Everlong1

Seen in Whelans music venue, Dublin. "Rage Against The Tractor - I'll put a bullet in your shed."

PommieBast

Written above a urinal: "The future of Britain lies in your hands"

Hibernicis

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122005758#Comment_122005758

And in cases where the door actually reached the ground “Beware the phantom limbo dancers”

Chloe Reid

Thanks for dropping by.

PP Lee

Some come here to sit and think, others come to sh!t and stink!

This was on the wall of a toilet in Limerick IT

The Continental Op

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122028118#Comment_122028118

No its because of wipe clean formica, stainless steel and other smooth plastic surfaces toilet surfaces.

Economics101

Another old one from a student jacks: "Why is there only one monopoly commission?"

Of course we have now developed a plethora of regulatory bodies….. but I digress.

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122028224#Comment_122028224

That post was from a robot who got zapped.

BaywatchHQ

In my country we have terror groups written on toilet walls for example in a loyalist town I saw UVF twitter on toilet walls in two different places. It makes my blood boil, this is the same town that has had nazi symbols sprayed on walls. This shows you that people aren't actually against terrorism, they complain about the IRA yet they support the UVF. They are only against Irish terrorism. I refuse to ever work in that town again after having that written in the workplace toilet.

Gussie Scrotch

Please do not smoke in our jacks.

We will not **** in your ashtrays.

Economics101

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122035346#Comment_122035346

Lighten the mood a bit with the following toilet dialogue:

"Ulster says No"

"But the man from Del Monte says Yes"

"And he's an Orange man"

RINO87

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122035346#Comment_122035346

Saw a funny one up the North years ago….Giant letters, "Ulster says NO!!" beside it someone scrawled, "but the man from DelMonte says yes, and he's an orange man"