Age Gap relationship

Gael23

I find myself attracted to a guy that’s 9 years younger than me.
is there a way that this can work in a relationship? I know some say age is meaningless

RonanG86

How old are the two of you?

Is it 18 and 27 or 27 and 36? That makes a bit of a difference imo.

Of course a nine year gap can work but as mentioned above, it depends on the context.

Mehaffey1

Some background/context at all may come in helpful😂

Gael23

I’m 32 he’s 23

We’re both guys also

accensi0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121958822#Comment_121958822

Probably won't work.

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121958822#Comment_121958822

Could work, but ye are likely in very different head spaces.

I'm not saying either of you conform to any particular stereotype, but, it probably is the case that a significant portion of ladies in their early 30's are thinking of partners with a view to family, most 23 year old males are still thinking primarily about getting laid.

But, only you both know what it is you truly want. Nobody will be able to come on here and tell you definitively what is going to be the outcome should you pursue this.

Gael23

I should have added were both lads

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121958924#Comment_121958924

Then the 'stereotypical' headspaces I alluded to doesn't exactly apply. Not exactly, but still…. the way I look at age gap is the older the parties are, the less of a difference it makes.

Where 1 party is in each group then; Teen/20's = 'definitely not'. 20's/30's = 'maybe'. 30's/40's ='Ok'. 40's/50's = 'Sure' and anything beyond doesn't really count as an age gap.

Princess Calla

To be fair there's no correct answer to this.

I do agree with "tell me how" but there's exceptions to everything.

It really depends on how mature he is. Being gay I'd also throw in the question how long is he "out" and properly engaging in adult gay circles.

Not every 23 year old wants to be hitting the clubs every night, likewise not every 32 year old wants to buy the house and invest in a good smoking jacket 😁 so it will depend on if your lifestyles align.

I also think if career wise if he's in a steady career it will be more likely to succeed, but if he's still floating around doing part-time gigs trying to "find himself" then probably not.

Relationships with everything aligned have failed likewise relationships with everything against them have succeeded...... however one thing is for sure, if you don't take a chance it will definitely fail

Best of luck 🍀

HildaOgdenx

Mod - Some chitchat posts deleted. 

Please bear in mind that PI is an advice forum and posts should contain advice for the OP.

Thanks

Hilda

JupiterKid

OP my 2 cents - I'm a gay guy, my long-term partner (OH) is 10 years older than me, we met 23 years ago when I was 25 going on 26 and he was 35 and we are still together, stronger than ever.

We have been there for each other in times of crisis - he especially was an incredible support when I was mired in full blown, destructive alcoholism. Without his love, tolerance and unwavering support in helping me to get sober, I would in all probability be long dead by now.

Gay male relationships are, in any case, much more likely to feature significant age gaps than straight ones. It really does depend on each of the partners and their outlook.

lilydonoghue

I think people ten years younger or ten years older can have a lot in common. I also have seen more same sex relationships stand the test of time than heterosexual relationships

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058344346/age-gap-relationship

Pretty much all relationships have challenges. Those challenges can come from different potential sources. Though the same source in one relationship might produce no challenges in another relationship.

Difference in religious or political views. Difference in earning levels. Differences in hobbies and interests. Difference in parenting views. And yes differences in age. All these and many more can potentially be a source for issues in a relationship.

So can it work? Of course it can. Many have made it work. Many have failed to make it work. Only you and your partner can really answer this in the end.

The relationship I am in involves age gaps too. 10 years being the biggest of them, 2 years the smallest. And we have made this work for 18 years now and have 4 kids. Like everyone there are challenges in our relationship too. But Age Gaps have thus far never been a source of any of them at all.

Jafin

It might, it might not. Some 23 year olds are very immature, some are very mature. I think it depends on if you are both in a similar place of maturity. I'm gay also and there's a 6 year age gap between me and my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and a half, and when we met I was 33 and he was 27. That 6 years was basically my own personal cut off, if he had been any younger there's a possibility I might not have pursued it. That being said he has his head screwed on a lot more than most people his age and we are both at roughly the same level of maturity so it works for us.

There's no harm in asking the fella out. If he says yes, great. The only way to know for sure if something can work is by giving it a go. If you realise after a few dates that you won't be a match long term then you have your answer.

witchgirl26

OP I think at those ages, it's less about the number of years age gap and more about if you're both on the same page in life. My parents had 16 years between them when they got married (24 & 40). However they were both at a point in life where they wanted to settle down & have kids so it worked. If they hadn't been aligned like that, it might have caused some big issues. That's what you need to look at.

IdrisRinatovLinfieldFC

9 years gap would work, in my opinion. If you love each other and are both ready for a relationship, then why not? I'm 28 🇷🇺, my wife's 40🇮🇪. Hope this helps.