Am I right in being annoyed by this? Family members taking car without permission

All that fandango

Hi, I'm abroad at the moment for a few months. Before leaving Ireland, I declared my car off the road regarding motor tax and I notified my insurance company that my insurance was to run out without renewal until I returned to Ireland. I left my car parked up in the drive at my home.

Last week I rang my parents to catch up. They had told me that my brothers own cars clutch had gone a couple of weeks prior and that he was using my car in the meantime. My brother transferred his insurance onto my car, but he was driving my car around with no tax. My father gave him the go ahead for this.

His car is now back on the road but I am left feelling very annoyed that my family (1) made it their decision to give my brother the loan of my car without asking me first and (2) my car being driven with no tax. This has especially made me feel very uneasy and annoyed as who would be in trouble if he was pulled by a Guard, me or him? Not to mention the unease I have about anyone else using my car as I take a lot of pride in it.

_H80_GHT

The driver would be in trouble for no tax.

Its blatantly obvious to everyone including yourself that you're right to be annoyed. Why you feel the need to create a thread to ask is more puzzling.

Hoboo

What’s mine is my bros if he’s ever in need. Did he dent it? If the answer is no politely ask no one takes it in future. Life’s too short.

beachhead

Next time give the keys(both)to someone you trust and/or put car in storage

Flinty997

What's his plan. Use yours to the clutch gives out then fix his....

phill106

Yes they should have asked, but would you have said no? He should leave the tank filled and any tax issues are on him if stopped.

Akrasia

It might be more complicated if the car is actually declared to be off the road, and then found to be driving, even without the knowledge of the owner?

Anyway, it's obviously wrong to just take a car that you don't own without the owners permission. Not only that it might get damaged, but the mileage will be inceasing and there will be wear and tear on the car. (although taking it for a spin every few weeks will be good for the car just to keep it from going mouldy or seizing up)

hoodie6029

More of a personal issues thread, I think.

But yes, very disrespectful behaviour by them all. You’re an adult. This is your possession that you worked hard to get and maintain. They have treated like it’s their own and didn’t even have the respect to ask you in advance if this would be ok.

Practically, the car could have been seized for being driven while declared off the road. It would have been up to them to pay the fine and the cost of recovering it from the yard.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121835420#Comment_121835420

Not puzzling at all to me. We’re fed BS from a young age that ‘you do for family’ and ‘they only want the best for you’ and to ‘be selfless’.

Some families aren’t good. They take advantage of others good nature.

This can then be very confusing when you feel you’ve been treated badly by your family, in any scenario. To ask about these feeling in anonymous way is perfectly valid.

kermitpwee

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058338478/am-i-right-in-being-annoyed-by-this-family-members-taking-car-without-permission

Talk to your family and tell them your wishes

Norrie Rugger Head

Your car could be towed for no tax, yeah?

They should have asked, taxed it for 3 months, declared off the road again if that time lapsed before your return

Dial Hard

I'd be annoyed that they didn't check first and fix the SORN issue, but I find it a bit odd that you feel "unease" about anyone else using your car, unless it's something particularly rare/valuable. Anyone in my family is welcome to use my car if they ever need it. Flywheel went in my mam's car recently and she had pretty much free use of both mine and my sister's car while it was in the garage.

Kurooi

Of course you're in the right, for one thing they could have sorted this out with you over one short text or call.

hoodie6029

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121837098#Comment_121837098

You’re in a lucky position that you can trust your family like that and that they can rely on you.

Not every is so lucky and we all need boundaries.

I’ve 2 brothers. For arguments sake, if I lent one of them a bucket, I’d never get it back. The other one would bring it back eventually, with a hole in it, with no apology or offer to fix it or replace it.

In the OP’s position l, his brother took his car and drove it round with no tax. It’s a sign of carelessness and entitlement to start with. I’d be uneasy with giving anything important to me to somebody like that.

The fact his brother’s car was in for repair is immaterial. The brother is an adult. Getting around while his car was away was his problem to sort, not the OP’s.

freshpopcorn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058338478/am-i-right-in-being-annoyed-by-this-family-members-taking-car-without-permission

This is more of a Personal Issue in my opinion.

Now if you want to get nit picky about it and I could see the following arguments being started.

When you left the car keys with your father did you leave any arguments?

If you want to keep your father as a key holder make an agreement.

Is the car parked on your own driveway or your father's one?

If it's on there's are you compensating them for this? Similar is there anybody starting the car/keeping the tyres inflated/etc?

You may have to look at an alternative if your car is kept on your father's property or a different key holder.

What's the relationship like between your dad and brother? Is there chance your brother took the key without asking or is your dad afraid of him? So, he gave him the key for an lady life.

If the car was stopped by Gardai. I suppose, you could have said it was taken without the owners consent.