Claiming expenses for attending work funeral

SylvesterEast

I have just started in a new job (new company) three months ago. One of my new direct reports’ mum passed away quite suddenly on Friday. We are a small team and I’m wondering what the etiquette is around funeral attendance. She has a close friend on the team who is away on holidays this week and it doesn’t appear that the other two people on the team (also relatively new) will attend the funeral. I assume as her boss I should go to represent the company. In my last company this would have been the norm/expected. Second question, if I’m attending purely for work (which it would be) - can I claim mileage? I don’t mean to appear mean but the office is in Waterford, the funeral is Mayo - at least 8 hours round trip, €100 in diesel & I’ve just moved into a new house and am absolutely broke at the moment… Views appreciated.

zell12

It is not work-related.

Tony H

Wouldn't expect you to attend , a mass card would be appreciated but I don't think anyone would expect you to travel that far

893bet

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121784226#Comment_121784226

This. 8 hour round trip for a 5 second hand shake that they won’t notice.

Allowing them time to grieve, and extra bit of flexibility in the next month etc is what they need from you as a boss

Calahonda52

You need to check all aspects of this with HR . If they say u should go to represent company......

There must be a HR policy on it. else sit on your hands

RurtBeynolds

Why are you asking people on boards if you can claim mileage for this? How could any of us know this?

road_high

Entirely at the discretion of local management I’d imagine. Really depends on how nit picky they are about mileage and expenses.

AndrewJRenko

I'd expect one person from the employer to attend, and I'd expect it to be more than a five second handshake.

Expenses is an internal HR policy matter. Make sure you have insurance cover to drive for work if you're claiming expenses.

SylvesterEast

It’s not a situation (feeling obliged to drive a long distance to attend a work funeral) I’ve been in before so I’m tying to ascertain what is usual practice and policy in work situations/ other organisations.

road_high

I know I’d have zero problems in my place and if I had to I could just put it down as another work trip. No one would say a thing, it depends how nit picky they are where you are working

Kurooi

You've been in the place 3 months I can't imagine anyone reasonably expects you to run down to family funerals.

Did the person say anything that implied they expect you there?

SylvesterEast

No she didn’t so I don’t know what her expectation is. If there was someone else going I’d feel under less pressure but there doesn’t appear to be (so far).

robbiezero

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121784619#Comment_121784619

Say it to your boss or HR and see what they think?

They might be delighted to have you represent the company and reimburse you.

nachouser

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121784619#Comment_121784619

Yeah, she's not going to care if her boss of 3 months isn't at the funeral of her mother.

If it doesn’t explicitly say “family flowers only” I would arrange a bouquet to be sent by company & colleagues, encourage colleagues to contribute to rip.ie condolence book or if a charity is specified try and arrange a donation. I don’t think you’d be expected to travel all the way from Waterford to Mayo, that’s some distance, Nd you might find difficulty getting a hotel too.

Tork

I think you should just ask what the done thing is. In this case, making that very long trip and losing a day's work sounds like overkill. Especially when it's a colleague you don't know well. If it was somebody you'd built up a longstanding relationship and work friendship with, it'd be different.

delly

Hard for anybody to answer as we don't know the size of your company (10 person family business vs 1,000 multi national), as well as the official policy. You are definitely asking the wrong people, so check with your own line manager or HR. As someone who is familiar with managing others, I would not be happy at the prospect of the cost of losing a manager for a day, as well as having to pay mileage. Add to this that is looks like a 5 person team, with 3 of those 5 out of action if you go.

beachhead

Post 15,16 and 17 are telling you what to consider.Speak to HR or your immediate superior.The directors of the company may not want staff travelling at will or "abandoning" their posts if even for a day+.Normally,a company would have issued a notification to ALL staff informing them of the death and stating what is expected of them-my experience.The size of the company has to be considered,also.

airy fairy

Put your condolences up on rip, specifically from you.

Then I'd leave HR deal with it. It's irrelevant to you tbh as you're only in the company 3 months, you're hardly going to represent the company at this early stage unless you are at top level management.. Leave those who have worked with the employee longer sort it out.

Attending a funeral should be because you want to go, to make an effort for a friend, colleague or similar. Claiming expenses to go just makes it like a business transaction and if it were me who was burying my father, I'd rather you not go at all if all it is is a business transaction.

beachhead

Claiming expenses would be a bad move as airy fairy says

3DataModem

It's a fair question.

I'd put it to my manager this way "I don't know the guy personally, but as his manager, if the company wants me to represent it at the funeral I'm happy to travel."

CramCycle

Unless you are a close friend, you are not expected or need to attend. Maybe some flowers from your own pocket or a donation to a charity mentioned by the funeral directors but it won't be noticed for the most part. Best thing they need is some flexibility over the coming weeks and if you give that, it will be appreciated more than anything. I wouldn't expect my closest work colleagues to do it for me, nor would I fully remember if they had.

AyeGer

If you have been asked to represent the company then you should be entitled to travel. If you decide to go yourself you wouldn’t really be entitled to travel.

Squatman

too far to travel, noone would expect that. and it appears to be on your own bat, so no to expenses

DellyBelly

Is the funeral on a Friday or a Monday...you could make a weekend of it up in Mayo...even might get a night paid in a hotel by the company? It's a beautiful county to visit even this early in the Spring

LambshankRedemption

I've been to a lot of funerals in the last few years, and I really appreciated the ones with a small turn out, as opposed to the ones with a large turn out.

Unless you are asked to represent the company, I would not go, but maybe send a mass card if you feel like you need to.

witchgirl26

Definitely go to HR & ask them about this. I have been both a colleague & the bereaved in this situation. In the bereavement one I was only in the business about 6-7 months at the time. My boss, their boss & more than half my team turned up to either the removal or the funeral itself. It made a massive impact on me in a good way. It felt good to know I had their support & they understood. In my case it was my dad & they sent my mam a big bouquet of flowers to our house for her as opposed to funeral flowers with a card to say they were thinking of us all. Never underestimate the power of a gesture.

In the second instance, it was the funeral of a colleagues mother. Different company & no edict on attendance or not but we all piled into a couple of cars & went. Again for ourselves to show support to a colleague. And I know they appreciated it.

As for the claiming mileage - definitely double check this. I don't think it's a bad thing at all when it's a fair distance away but it might not be allowed so definitely double check with either HR or your own boss.

My father died 2001, my mother 2009. Their funerals were in Dublin, my workplace in Dublin, so no big distances involved for any of my colleagues. However, being a small public service point, not everybody could attend, although in these situations, where possible, relief staff are prioritised to cover. It was nice to have them there, but in no way would I have expected anyone to come from a distance. Flowers bought by a collection among the small team of staff of the service point and because I was a very long time employee management in HQ made a personal collection for flowers.

But what I most appreciated was how my colleagues responded when I got back to work. Eg, realising I would be returning back to an empty apartment after my first day at work following my mother’s death, a colleague very thoughtfully accompanied me home and sat down with me for half an hour each with a cup of tea in hand. I always remember that gesture. Those little things are what make the most difference.

Mr.S

It's a valid question tbh. Pretty normal for work colleagues to go to funerals.

That said, I wouldn't say there's expectations or pressure for you to go, especially given you are so new. A card, flowers etc would be more than enough - what the colleague will benefit from mostly is your understanding and flexibility with time off, support and their return to work - I would focus on that.

Chat to HR, they probably have a policy in place for it. e.g. in our place there is a set € that can be expensed by a manager for flowers etc, and team members don't need to use holiday days to go to the funeral. Travel expenses would likely be at your manager / leaders discretion. You'll probably hear that they won't cover travel expenses as it's not expected for you to represent the company at the funeral and it would be a personal decision to go.

JVince

Can't see why attendance would be warranted or expected.

Condolence card & wreath would be more than ample and I'd do that in a personal capacity.

Even if the funeral was local, I would not be attending it unless there was a familiarity within a staff group and they did social events together.

MarkR

Your county or the next I'd go. Across the country, no, I'd be sending condolences.