Suicide for men and women

Marymoore

apologies I’ve no idea where to post this… it’s for men and women not just men but saw a similar thread so thought I’d follow and put it here.

im just curious what do you think causes a person to commit suicide or get those bad thoughts? I have lost a few friends to it and just trying to get into the head space to understand. I know we all suffer and have low times is it just some people find it harder to deal with the lows or is it a mental illness? What are the thoughts of someone who does it?

tomhammer..

..

Marymoore

God I’m so sorry to hear that Tom

gormdubhgorm

Thankfully I only know of one person that committed suicide. The individual in question was female and it destroyed her family literally and metaphorically. But she had underlying mental illness - bipolar. Which is part of the reason the new use term 'Mental health' throws me. Some people use the term as feeling a bit down, I stubbed my toe today. Other people mean it as severe depression.

Women in general are much better at talking about things though disregarding those with mental illnesses. And women make friends a lot different to men, the having great 'chats' are of crucial importance to women. Whereas men bond and make friends over doing things, sport, DIY, a project etc.

I think there was a recent campaign in the media about the high suicide rate of travellers compared to the rest of the population. You can understand it a macho culture, and if a young man has no job or earnings he has no self worth in that culture. Chatting about it does not really happen/help as in women's circles.

Even though the general population have got better using the buzz word 'mental health' I feel it is used too causally as catch all term. In a way it can make people fall through the cracks. In reality what men need is an outlet a purpose. If men don't have that they struggle, 'chats' don't really happen. It important for men to stay involved in something, it is why places set up mens sheds for the older lads. It is not about chatting for men in my opinion it is about finding a purpose. As simple as that.

standardg60

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058331436/suicide-for-men-and-women

It's not an illness, some people are born to just not enjoy living, it always has been and always will be. I think there should be a lot more credence given and acceptance of this. The idea that every suicide is preventable is nonsense to my mind, it's pushed by people who enjoy living and can't get their head around the fact that some don't. They think sure it must have been an episode and if we'd engaged sooner everything would have been fine.

In the vast majority of cases suicide is a result of a constant and consuming low.

AveryBritishCoup

From my experience , its something I didn't see coming , and there was no amount of talking that would change my opinion ! If a soul has gotten suicide into their head as a way out , there's absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop them ! It hurts , but for those who say it's a weak willed out , they haven't a jot what I'm talking about !

AveryBritishCoup

I should have said too , that if you know anyone prescribed SEROXAT , take them off it ! It was too late for me , but the #1 side effect from Seroxat (anti depressant) was suicide , god help us !

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058331436/suicide-for-men-and-women

I do not think there is any one answer to your question. There are any number of answers - and any person who has gone down the route of suicide might fit to any one of them - or even more than one of them. Even if you got into the head space perfectly of one of the friends you lost to suicide - it is quite likely it is not the head space at all that the other ones were in. It is a complex issue unfortunately and if there was one simple cause/motivation we as a society would much better be able to address it and be better at preventing it.

What does seem true to me however is that modern life appears to be getting better and better at aggravating the things that worsen the situation. Any factor I know of that correlates with suicide appears to be getting worse in modern life.

Loneliness for example - as people seem to be getting more socially isolated.

Diet for example - where food quality is either getting more and more processed and sugar based to the drop in quality of fresh products like fruit and vegetables.

Exercise for example - where people are tending towards being more sedentary.

Stress - in a society where people seem to be working longer hours, for more years, for less effective pay. Often resulting in them having less time and energy for things like parenting their own children, which leads effectively to badly parented children from people who are otherwise not "bad parents".

Anxiety - in a world where our media pumps us with the most negativity it can, in a world of war and pandemics and deepening political divides.

Personal well being and confidence - in a world where social media and filters have people making themselves look more beautiful, and leading more successful and interesting lives than they actually are which people, especially I am told young girls, end up comparing themselves to.

The list goes on but time and time again when I hear a factor is correlated strongly with suicide, I see the world appears to be getting really good at exacerbating said factor(s). And all to often I suspect when people present with issues related to one or more of the above - our society (though probably the US more so than Ireland) move too quickly to medicate out of it rather than address the actual underlying issues. To the point I find myself sometimes being less surprised by how many people turn to suicide - than by how many people don't!