Negativity, schadenfreude and such

Sunny Disposition

Do ye take a lot of pleasure from the suffering of people ye feel deserve bad luck?

Over the years I've taken huge pleasure from Man Utd struggling, Fianna Fáil getting a walloping and Brian Cowen exposed as incompetent. I also love seeing the DUP losing their way, and Prince Harry being recognised as a bit of a tool.

I dunno, but I think most people are like this. People were loving seeing Ryan Tubridy getting grilled by the Oireachtas committee and then fired. I also think a lot of people interested in sport take more pleasure out of their rivals losing than their own side winning.

Baba Yaga

dont hit me with your negative waves...say something righteous and hopeful for a change...😁

Stone Deaf 4evr

I left a relatives house over christmas, the elders of the family (70 years old kinda bracket) have developed a soul crushingly negative outlook on everything. No matter what topic was brought up, they cant see the positive in anything, only countless ways things could go wrong. I don't know if its a holdover from covid, or pessimism in the face of them heading to the twilight years of their lives, but it was soul crushing to be in the presence of and I couldnt wait to get out the door.

z80CPU

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121597713#Comment_121597713

And make sure your righteousness has some woke about it! 😉

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121597727#Comment_121597727

oh yeah,yeah....forgot about the woke...woke up at 05:30 this morning,does that count? 😁

bucketybuck

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121597684#Comment_121597684

Constantly having to make new profiles on message boards, thats another way to spot them.

z80CPU

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121597752#Comment_121597752

Well, will accept because it's in The Sopranos intro 😌

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058330665/negativity-schadenfreude-and-such

While I, personally, still find United losing to be hilarious, it just isn’t quite as good now since most of their, Irish, “fans” have stopped supporting them.

The best part of it is when they cut to Sir Alex Ferguson, in the crowd, looking red faced and miserable. Especially against Liverpool when they quickly move over to a shot of Kenny Dalglish chuckling away. Very funny that.

dxhound2005

For a forum that is supposed to be Social & Fun, there is a lot of negativity.

TinyMuffin

Shur we’re goin to die anyway.

HerrKuehn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121598150#Comment_121598150

Isn't it a bit weird to support random English teams though, when you step back and think about it?

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121598353#Comment_121598353

Ah yeah but so is everything when you think about it. But, if you’re going to pick a team, enjoy their “glory years”, you should really stick around for their rubbish ones.

The one upside to these fickle, fair weather, ex-United fans leaving the sinking ship is that, now, the League of Ireland terraces are full as the ones who still “follow” soccer have taken to Boh, and Rovers, in particular.

I don’t take pleasure in anyone’s suffering, that doesn’t mean I tolerate any bull$hit anyone does out.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121597684#Comment_121597684

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121598329#Comment_121598329

there’s a lot of pot calling the kettle black here Bob.

z80CPU

There is more reciprocal schadenfreude alright in response to the upsurge to the SJW posts.

Collie D

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121598769#Comment_121598769

Why have you never mentioned this theory before?

z80CPU

There's more negativity generated when posters presage they've won their own argument without having to sufficiently justify it at all. Much more common lately.

Flinty997

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121598353#Comment_121598353

It's a bit weird to think it's random.

Massive Irish communities in these areas and thus lots of connections to some of areas and their clubs going back generations.

Flinty997

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121598970#Comment_121598970

Its a pretty old theory. Supporting a club through think and thin. No? If you mean interest in league of Ireland then that's easily explained.

Collie D

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121599063#Comment_121599063

I meant that he posts this comment regularly about Man Utd fans filling Dalymount cos United are shite these days.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121598850#Comment_121598850

A lot of trotting out jaded tropes that have been repeated ad nauseum too.

Apiarist

No, I have my own problems to obsess about. Why would I care about some celebrity or a football club if they have nothing to do with me?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121599473#Comment_121599473

there’s an irony in using boards to denounce boards tbh

ancapailldorcha

Depends.

British racists voting for something that was always going to mean more non-white people? Sure but I'd be much happier if they hadn't voted that way. Same for the DUP. Schadenfreude is often a consolation prize and, like all such prizes, it's not very good.

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058330665/negativity-schadenfreude-and-such

To answer the thread title I think I just do not have the time, energy, or free mental space in my life to entertain any active negativity towards people. I surround myself with those people I find positive and motivating and I discard the rest. Maintaining negativity just seems to energy consuming and mentally unhealthy to me.

Especially given how much negativity towards others is formed from jealousy or low self esteem and is therefore a veiled expression at self negativity projected onto someone else. Who was it who said "Every criticism and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.”?

To answer your point about pleasure in the suffering of others - generally no I do not get that either. If someone really awful or stupid dies I feel bad that they died for example. That does not mean however that I am not on occasion also stuck by how comical their death might have been in the sense of being ironic or what not. I can be sad they died and sad of the manner of their dying but still see a very funny side to it too. If I could go back in time and save them and change what killed them I would. But still - sometimes it can still be funny in a dark way too.

I think the most recent example of this I can think of is: youtube.com/shorts/gmzPdMRP3uo

But in general the things you list as examples do not bring my any pleasure at their fall from fortunes. Rather just a hopeful feeling of "Well now hopefully we can change for the better". I would take no pleasure in Man Utd struggling. But I take pleasure that other teams who have not won the league in decades are now getting chances to do so. A politician is exposed as incompetent - well hopefully we get someone new who is more competent and we all benefit.

I compete a lot at Jujitsu and I am a trainer too. I take no real pleasure in winning my medals or my team doing so - or displeasure in losing. Where I get the pleasure is when competing and winning OR losing I find holes in my/our game that we can address when we hit the mats. The chance to grow rather than pleasure in my own or someones fortune or misfortune is where I get my jollies there.

BrianD3

Celebrating Man Utd's struggles seems a waste of time and energy. I'm not sure if it is better or worse than doing the opposite i.e. "supporting" Man Utd and cheering on a bunch of multi millionaires.

Given how they affect people's lives, it's more understandable for an Irish person to take pleasure from Fine Gael politicians being obliterated in an election. However, even if the likes of Varadkar loses his seat in the next election, he will still walk into a high paid job (probably higher paid than the Taoiseach) plus he also has a huge pension waiting for him. He already has it made. He'll be able to afford the best healthcare and lifestyle so will probably outlive many who'd like to piss on his grave which would be an impotent gesture anyway.

The same is true of many w*nkers, spoofers, manipulators and arseholes i.e. the people that one would have a grudge against and wish to see fail. They may fail to some extent but they'll bounce back. The biggest arseholes, cheats, and bullies from my secondary school and college have gone on to be very successful with great careers and beautiful wives and children. They're taller than me, richer than me and will probably live longer than me. Karma doesn't exist.

freshpopcorn

Being around negativety isn't good however being around fakeness isn't good either.

gormdubhgorm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121597684#Comment_121597684

Funny you make that point my father pushing towards his 80's plays golf, now he likes the odd whinge as most auld lads do. But even he was annoyed by a fellow golfer in his golf club. A rabid conspiracy theorist giving out about the government, right wing protests. the country all sorts.

When my auld fella pointed out to the fella that this fella has a job, is in a nice safe country, and playing golf. And asked him what is wrong with him. He had no answer.

I am sure posters have the experience with the type of neighbours who talk with one side of their mouth but in reality they are very critical/jealous of each other. In my experience it is normally the people who come from lower demographics have thin skins and don't like people getting 'one up' on them. But they love seeing others fail that are doing better than them.

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121601861#Comment_121601861

Lads from the country are like with people from Dublin. They’ll move here, take a job here, find a partner from here but they’ll still get very “nasty” when it comes to the subject of Dublin and it’s fine people.

Rothko

It's hilarious that a couple of the posters on here are complaining about negativity when they're the ones that are chiefly responsible for it and have ruined the site.

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121602307#Comment_121602307

Yeah, would be great if everyone would just hate women, people of colour, immigrants, trans people, refugees and homosexuals together.

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121597684#Comment_121597684

I think it helps to view social media and forums as a computer game. And the game is designed to amplify negativity and disagreement. While positivity and agreement can be done - it can be a bit like trying to play Grand Theft Auto as a complete pacifistic. Which I have been told can be done and the game completed in that way - but you will struggle mightily.

Like computer games though - online social media and forums lets you vent and act in ways you never would in real life. And likely would not even want to if you could. If I play GTA and sleep with a sex worker, shoot her in the head, rob her money, and then drive off in her car that does not for one second mean I want to do any of that in real life. Similarly if I get into a heated discussion or debate on line it would be because I am "playing the social media computer game" and not because I am actually angry or all that bothered at all really.

Generally if you read over my posts I tend to be positive in most things I do or write on here. Often doing nothing more than describing positive things in my life that happen to me or that I do to/for others. But I am not playing the game by the rules I guess :) I post because I want to post not because I want engagement or replies or attention. And so I do not need to post negatively for no reason than negativity gets more engagement on forums, on twitter, on social media, or on news sites.

So yea I think you are right that the internet attracts quite a few angry men who are likely down on themselves and self hating. But I think a lot of the people who seem that way online likely are not this way in their own lives at all and are in fact entirely happy balanced people.

Which posters are which however can be - I grant you - often very hard to tell :)

freshpopcorn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121602333#Comment_121602333

It would also be great when a troll account pops up here if people just reported it instead of feeding them.

Guys if the thread is just going to be a collective discussion about how bad the site is we can just leave it here. There’s plenty of threads on that particular subject already.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121602818#Comment_121602818

Honestly if I could print this and frame it I would.

I don’t own a printer though.

oh well.

z80CPU

Well, speaking of printers, got meself a new printer in Tesco the other day. Working a okay. Not much talk about Printers over in Tech on boards these days. Like Models. No mention of the demise in Model Railways of Hattons Dealers in the uk. Models forum is a backwater. Drones has'nt risen to great heights here either ( as former drone pilot ) .

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121607773#Comment_121607773

your drone wont go to great heights...? maybe charge the battery....?

thomil

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121597684#Comment_121597684

I think this is too simplistic, to be fair, at least as far as the root causes are concerned. You're not wrong, but there's another aspect to it as well.

I remember being in school during the late 1990s and early 2000s, and it was just "cool" to be cynical, dismissive and negative, even over on the continent, where I went to school. Add to that the general explosion of anti-everything sentiment in the years after 9/11, the crash of 2008 and the rise of social media with all its negatives, and you basically have a witches brew of negativity that has had in excess of 20 years to fester and "mature", with the results we see today. You have entire generations that were effectively raised on negativity. Plus, it's just easier to to talk things down than it is to understand them and for a lot of people, that's already enough.

There's certainly something about seeing people who've been f***ing around getting to the "find out" part, annoying or holier-than-thou characters getting their deserved comeuppance, I partake in that to a certain extent myself. However, over the last decade or so, something darker has crept in. Humanity has always needed "witches" to burn, but we're now at a point where literally everyone can be that "witch", and where the cry to "burn" them can travel around the planet in microseconds to be answered with crowds of cheering participants who are just waiting to add their fuel to the fire, to see even more "witches" burn.

thomil

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121607986#Comment_121607986

Not too great, if you please, you don't want to inadvertently enter controlled airspace...

Baba Yaga

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121607996#Comment_121607996

oh yeah,forgot about that....semi great then 😁