Online coaching

ineedacompass

I signed up with an online coach I’d been with before. Again, I’m just finding things aren’t going great or progressing again which is frustrating. The first time, I didn’t get the results or progress the way I had hoped and quit due to the cost (€300 a month) and frankly, frustration. I returned to the individual (because I doubted myself) and realised that I just can’t relate to them and feel misunderstood and I’m being kept on a hook. They obsessively train (perfectionist) and promote on social media 24/7 while I am working full time shift work with great demands and stress on me and still trying to train when I can. It just leads me to overeat, overtrain and stress. If anything, I’ve gained weight. It’s really heartbreaking because I lost massive weight years prior on my own and to see my weight creep up again is very scary for me. This time around especially, I don’t feel I’m getting a quality service as they seem more focused on their own goals on social media and the responses to my messages seem… a bit dismissive or flat sounding. I’m just not feeling it this time tbh.

I want to quit and just go back to self management with my own approach. I did feel the last time that when I wanted to politely leave, I was being guilt tripped and manipulated a bit and with all the stress going on, I don’t need it on my shoulders. And as I said, the €300 per month for no progress isn’t helping.

Can I just quit?

I’ve done the “minimum commitment”

And before anyone says it, I’m not expecting overnight results or unrealistic expectations to occur. More than anything, I just don’t relate with my coach. We are very different with different lifestyles. And the pressure of weekly weigh ins is causing a lot of stress when im not seeing any progress at all.

Black Sheep

Quite obviously, yes, you can just send them a polite email, or whatsapp, or speak to them through whatever medium you prefer, and tell them that you've decided to leave the process. You can truthfully say that you don't feel like you're a good fit, anymore, and want to try something different.

It seems possible they will not be that surprised that you have reached that decision.

ineedacompass

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121518192#Comment_121518192

You would hope.

I found they made it awkward for me to leave the last time as it was all so “unexpected” which it wasn’t.

Dont get me wrong, the weight has fallen off me years before and I’m quite disciplined usually when I’m alone but the minute a coach and the weekly weigh ins started, the pressure got to me and I go the opposite direction.

holdfast

Just tell them, you are out. I think they should be ok with it and looking for feedback on why it didnt work or why you are leaving ? If they are a professional.

I have used three of the top coaches in Ireland. The success they claim can be attributed to them but what margin, for a newbie it might be 50%. They showed how to train and about macros. The client in that case did the other 50%. For clients with more experienced their impact is less imo. And there are just the successful ones on their website. I wounder what there failure rates are ? Again not solely attributable to the coaches, but how many of there clients do they help reach there goals and are they overselling their input ?.

I have found they – even the most experience and knowledgeable coaches have a preferred method of dieting and training. One guys and I said I don’t like bodybuilding training kept trying to force it on me. The hour-long calls, ended up been 30mins. Don’t promise 1 hour calls if they take 30mins. Do they critical analyse how their input on the client success or failure. OR is it the client wasn’t ready ?? Most of the guys are top of their game in terms of knowledge. But maybe it the culture within the industry, take the money, if it doesn’t work out – oh well – no harm

BTW I am not blaming them for my failing, I owe my failure to my 70%.  They started failing me when I started failing myself. 

Cill94

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121532218#Comment_121532218

I think the value of a coach is generally misunderstood. Most people seem to think that all they need is someone to tell them exactly what to do, and that will somehow magically motivate them to start doing everything they currently aren't.

Good coaches have that knowledge. Great coaches know how to communicate it. It's the open communication between coach and client that allows them to traverse problems, create a plan that works for the client, and ultimately leads to success. And that process can fail due to either party not being honest.

To your example, that coach could be upfront with every new clients and just say "look I only do bodybuilding training with people, so if that's your thing I can help you". The problems arise when something else is communicated and it becomes a sore spot for a client who feels they were sold something else.

An issue I've encountered as a coach, is when the client is not honest with me about they want, and what they are willing to sacrifice to get it. These would be people who insist on training more days than they can do consistently, constantly changing their goals, trying to follow a super restrictive diet that they fall off of every weekend etc. In these cases, there is no coach in the world who can help someone who won't be honest with themselves.

OrangeBadger

300 per month for online coaching....

holdfast

A good coah should in most cases have a solution. This is the difference a coach and instructor. After a while if a coach has reviewed what went well and what went wrong after a few years. They will be in position to get even the most ardent client to suceeed as some level.

It cant be all the cleint fault like it cant be all the coaches fault. I just dont know if there is lesson learnt porcess in coaching

ineedacompass

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121532971#Comment_121532971

Yeah… I know. Don’t even.

No look, I went back with good intentions and needed direction again with my training. The aul “I want to tone and lose fat” reason. But I suppose what I’m saying is I just don’t relate with the coach anymore. She’s nice but as I said before, I don’t think we gel well anymore. Like she’s now telling me when I have overeaten that it doesn’t matter…it’s actually something I’m worried about and know it’s wrong but she tells me it doesn’t matter. Literally what’s the point. That’s why I now know this online coaching gig is a joke. Clearly keeping me on the hook. I don’t want to gain weight, I’m trying to lose it. We also don’t relate because she has all day everyday to be perfect with perfect training and nutrition and post perfect posts all from home. It was fine a year ago but I’ve changed since and need something else. I also don’t find her as attentive or engaging as she used to be. She seems more obsessed with her own extreme training which is on IG every single day and I may send her messages through the programme etc and find she can be dismissive at times. So “€300” a month for that carry on is a joke tbh. I know well. But there’s a minimum time you’ve to do. Whether it holds up legally, I’m not sure. I just want out.

Plus if I want to withdraw from the programme, I’ve to put up with arguing my case to the coach in question when it’s my choice and money. I was guilt tripped the last time and it was uncomfortable.

ineedacompass

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121532706#Comment_121532706

Yeah like I remember the last time, I did 16weeks with her, got on ok but decided (because I’m good for training anyway) to break away and go alone as I felt ready but also, as it was financially draining and steep for what I was getting.

The problem was when I held the conversation, I had to put up with false disbelief, guilt tripping and frankly, manipulation which was mind blowing to me. I had invested for the minimum time and I was still met with resistance which is just wrong. If someone wants to go, coaches should leave them go and be nice about it….

Bobby_Bolivia

What are you looking for specifically from them? Is it somebody to be accountable to? Is it somebody to work out your calories? To give you a meal plan? A training plan?

She is probably using any of the various free tools available online to work out your calories. And then applying an arbitrary macronutrient breakdown to that.

In terms of training - the amount of free resources online available for whatever level you are is virtually endless.

I honestly don't see why anybody would require an online coach except for accountibility. Is somebody half heartedly checking in on you worth €300 per month?