My girlfriend is suicidal

Lostinspace

My girlfriend is suicidal.

She has been feeling like this ever since her mum died a few years ago but it has gotten a lot worse recently. She is not Irish but lives here with me. She has severe depression and anxiety and this has been exasperated in the last month or so as she has run out of medication. She is awaiting new medication to arrive from her own country as that's where it is prescribed.

The last few weeks have been brutal to say the least. Bursting out in tears a few times per day, telling me she wants to end her life. The weekends are a lot worse than weekdays as work does take her mind off things. She doesn't want me telling anyone, particularly her family. Her sister isn't in a good place either with anxiety and alcoholism.

I'm going to speak to her friends in Ireland over the coming days. Well one friend, though my girlfriend doesn't want me telling anyone. My girlfriend is seeing a psychiatrist in her home country but her next appointment not for another 4 weeks. She won't message her psychiatrist in the meantime.

I feel a bit helpless. I rang VHI before but i didn't find their service great. My girlfriend needs help but doesn't want to open up to anyone except me and the psychiatrist in her home country. She doesn't trust psychologists. She is also not convinced the medication she is on (before it ran out) is working. She's had 8 or 9 different types of meds since she first went to this psychiatrist about 3 years ago.

I'm in bed here typing this as she is crying under the duvet, though she will fall asleep soon. She doesn't want to go to work tomorrow (she wants to work from home) and she didn't leave the house over the weekend. We were meant to go for a walk yesterday evening but again burst out in tears again. We pretty much sat on the couch all weekend.

She needs help but I'm not sure where i can get help for her.

Facthunt

You need to take here to A&E tonight if you are very worried! I’m no medical expert but hopefully they can help and guide you.

ITDept

Pieta House - 1800 247 247 or text HELP to 51444

They offer good advice to partners, as well as the person in crisis.

Tork

https://www.nsrf.ie/finding-help/

Lostinspace

Thanks. I won't tonight as she is asleep now and won't entertain it. I said to her earlier about going to the hospital but she refused. If things are bad tomorrow then I'll say it again. Thank you for your reply.

Lostinspace

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121389891#Comment_121389891

Thank you. I'll try them tomorrow

Lostinspace

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121389894#Comment_121389894

Thank you

Clo-Clo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058323363/my-girlfriend-is-suicidal

The local Public Health department will have access to specialist in this area. Most of these departments now have a Psychiatric nurse as part of the team. They can do house calls etc and might be a way to get started.

Purple Mountain

It's not much good to her to be solely dependent on a mental health service in another country.

She is out of medication so her situation is very urgent.

Does she or you have a GP on Ireland?

I would phone them tomorrow and make an emergency appointment and just take her there.

You're the only one who knows that she is in a crisis so that's a big burden and responsibility on you.

You need to let other (professional) people in now for her sake.

Sonic the Shaghog

Is it not possible to get a local GP and have her script sent on to him and see about a more local psychiatrist? I agree with the previous poster, it's a extremely dodgy relying on the service in another country and all the waiting around for meds and appointments

Lostinspace

Thanks for the replies. She doesn't want to engage with a psychiatrist in English and feels more comfortable speaking to someone in her own language. I have tried and she blanket refuses each time to engage with someone here.

Meds will arrive later this week. I'll ring Pieta tomorrow.

Purple Mountain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121390027#Comment_121390027

If she is already on medication then she has a medical diagnosis and needs medical attention.

Pieta is a wonderful organisation but is talk therapy. I think your girlfriend needs medical attention more urgently.

Please ring a psychiatric service or GP for advice in the morning.

Sometimes we have to disobey people's wishes to protect their own safety.

Hannibal_Smith

Hi LostinSpace

I appreciate you're looking for advice for your girlfriend as opposed to yourself. But given the seriousness of your issue, and while posters here would only be too willing to offer you help and advice, I think its probably in your best interests to seek advice and guidance from a professional. You do not have to deal with it on your own.

We encourage people experiencing difficulties to talk to someone they trust and, if appropriate, to go to their GP. I understand your girlfriend is reluctant to do that so in those circumstances and if you need help urgently and outside of GP hours, please encourage her to go to your nearest A&E department.

Here at Boards.ie our moderators are not trained to support people experiencing difficulties. And although posters will be more than willing to offer help and advice I think your issue is something so sensitive that professional advice and help would better serve you. Contacting your own GP for advice on how you can help your girlfriend might also be worth considering. There are also organisations positioned to provide specialised support. These organisations are listed below. We hope that your girlfriend will follow these up so that she can get the help and support she needs. But it might even be worth you making contact and follow any advice they can offer you.

If you need immediate help:

Aware’s Support Line is open 7 days per week, 10am-10pm on 1800 804 848

The Samaritan’s phone line is open 24/7 on 116 123

Pieta offer one-to-one, face-to-face support. Click here to find the phone number and opening hours of your nearest branch on their site or email mary@pieta.ie for advice on getting an appointment.

Text about it - text HELLO to 50808 to speak to a Crisis Volunteer in a safe space via text. Service available 24/7.

If you need non-urgent help:

Aware have a support email service at supportmail@aware.ie

There are some other useful services that you can use also here.

In the circumstances I'm going to close this thread and urge you and/or your girlfriend to make contact with one of the organisations who are there to help.

Best wishes to you both

HS

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ETA - LostinSoul, a boardsie kindly pmed with a suggestion of a relatives and friends support group and course with AWARE which can be very helpful - you can find more information here: https://www.aware.ie/programmes/relatives-friends/