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I don't recognise my friend anymore, what should I do?

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  • 27-10-2023 3:25pm
    #1
    Galwaysgal
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭


    My friend and I have been mates for years and years. Used to message often and try and meet up a few times a month. She started dating a guy at the start of the year, and things started to really change. I have only saw her four times this year, and when we do message she never mentions wanting to meet up for a coffee or catch up or anything anymore. Her interests revolve around what he likes and his life. The last time I saw her was over a month ago, I realised that day how much she has changed, I don't recognise her anymore. We went for lunch and she talked the whole time about her new boyfriend, his work his family his friends, I tried to revert the conversation back to my friend and her life but he was brought into the conversation the whole time. When I talked about how my life is going she didn't seem interested and the conversation was reverted back to Him. My friend is in between jobs at the moment and is qualified in IT which she always loved and is good at. Her boyfriend has recently started a carers course, she messaged me a few days ago to tell me she has been offered a place and is started the course also. The thing that puzzled me is my friend has never had an interest in a carers position before, it has never interested her, it feels like I don't know who she is anymore. I don't know what to do is this normal?

    Post edited by HildaOgdenx on


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    #2
    scottser
    Registered Users Posts: 407 ✭✭scottser


    that sounds like it'll end in tears for her, for obvious reasons. all you can do as her friend is let her go through it and be there for her when it all goes pear-shaped. try not to judge to much, and don't be afraid to set a few boundaries when you're together. in the meantime, it's best not to rely on her as one of your main supports. friendships always go in cycles anyway, this is just one of those sucky times.



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    #3
    Jim_Hodge
    Registered Users Posts: 10,459 ✭✭✭✭Jim_Hodge


    Very similar here....Should I let my friendship go? — boards.ie - Now Ye're Talkin'



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    #4
    HildaOgdenx
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,494 Mod ✭✭✭✭HildaOgdenx


    Mod - OP as you have a very recent thread on what appears to be the same topic I am closing this one.

    Please feel free to add to your original thread, rather than starting a new one. 

    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058313132/should-i-let-my-friendship-go

    Thanks

    Hilda



This discussion has been closed.
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