Harassment or just kids being kids?

meeeeeeh

Hi everyone,

I know there's a similar thread floating about on the forum right now but just looking for some more advice/insight for my experience.

Since the beginning of summer my aunt has been subject to some verbal abuse by local kids and it's only escalating. It started off with just name calling but since then there's been 3 incidences where they've come in to the garden to kick the front door and just today we found the wheelie bin flung halfway down the road!

I've spoke to both the garda and one of the kids parents about the issue but that hasn't resolved anything, unfortunately.

Just wondering what the right approach is here. The obvious solution is to sell up and move elsewhere which is the plan but due to the house being acquired from a Will and split amongst several family members the solicitor has said it's a "complex case" so it could take a good while to resolve so just looking for any input to make the situation tolerable for the foreseeable future. My aunt would be nearing retirement age and she has fairly bad anxiety so this is getting to her quite a bit... Thanks in advance for any advice and input!

Modulok

Harassment. Get a ring doorbell or Tapo camera, record the scummy antics, and name and shame on social media.

suvigirl

Put up cameras.

Don't put footage of children online. Give it to gardai. Any kid coming into her house, kicking doors, taking away wheelie bins, can be identified then.

What ages are they?

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073629#Comment_121073629

I did install a Ring doorbell for her which is how I identified one of the kids kicking the door, unfortunately the range doesn't capture motion where the bin would be left by the bin men so no idea who decided to do that one. May need to look into setting up another camera elsewhere on the property

Jesus Christ definitely harassment and/or bullying. Little fcukers.

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073651#Comment_121073651

Have a ring doorbell installed. Managed to catch one of them kicking the door previously. Wouldn't be the type to post the footage around social media. Trying not to make the issue any worse than it already is. I did show the Gardaí the video when I went to the station and he was aware of the kid in the video, said he'd go talk to him in a view days but not sure that one ever happened lol.

One of the kids can't be any older than 6 or 7, from what I've been told the group ranges from that young up to about 10 years old.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073668#Comment_121073668

sure what good would a garda talking to them do if the parents don’t give a damn. These yokes wouldn’t be afraid of God almighty letalone a garda who they’d be almost positive can’t (or won’t) do anything..!

that said go kick one of their doors or knock over a wheelie bin you’ll be taken.

suvigirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073668#Comment_121073668

Oh well, that completely changes things I'm afraid.

The age of criminal responsibility is 12, which means that before that age, children are incapable of committing crime. So nothing can be done legally.

best thing is to appeal to the parents, if they are decent and approachable.

worst thing that was ever done imo, raising the age to 12.

suvigirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073681#Comment_121073681

Cant. They can't do anything

Rubberchikken

If the parents don't care the gardai haven't a.hope.

I'm sorry your aunt is experiencing this.

Ive nothing to help, people like this are just beyond any type.of appeal to control their offspring.

I wouldn't get involved with the kids in any way..people like that have a habit of turning on the innocent party and making life very difficult for them through their lies. Awful to experience.

Lewis_Benson

It's starts with their parents, thats where I'd start.

I'd become and absolute pain in the balls for them, every time something occurs, I'd be knocking on their door to let them know what their little offspring has been upto.

I'd also be letting them known if they don't sort it out, the guards will be informed, the parents can pick up the slack then for their little scrotes.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073707#Comment_121073707

Why can’t they? Is it legal to go around kicking peoples doors and knocking over their wheelie bins?

I hardly think so.

edit: nvm, just seen the chaps are 6-10 or so.

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073692#Comment_121073692

Yeah, same thing I was told by the guards. Just feel awful for her, she's been living in the area years and never been hassled or caused hassle for anyone.

Only ever managed to catch one of them in clear view of the camera so went to his parent but I've a good feeling a few of his friends are involved as well but no evidence of that and don't really wanna go making accusations with no proof for risk of causing more problems.

suvigirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073718#Comment_121073718

Did you miss my other post?

suvigirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073720#Comment_121073720

Any chance the parents will back you up? It's literally the only chance to stop them, unfortunately.

Why your aunt, so they do it to other people living there?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073724#Comment_121073724

Yup! Sorry, I just edited to say as much haha.

surely this could come down to a case of neglect on the parents side though? OP, I’d honestly ring Tusla or the likes and have them investigate. Parents who allow their children to behave in such a manner are very unfit ones.

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073730#Comment_121073730

I wouldn't put money on the parents taking the accusations too well. I don't know them myself but it'd be a slightly rougher area of Dublin where this is happening. Far from the worst area but not somewhere I'd want to draw attention to myself, personally.

For my aunt, she'd say it's only being herself targeted but hard to know. She'd keep herself to herself mostly so wouldn't know a lot of people in the local area to find out if this is happening to anyone else

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073732#Comment_121073732

Not sure Tusla would handle cases of Anti-social Behavior, would they? I get where you're coming from about neglect but wouldn't be an easy case to prove, I would imagine

.Donegal.

Get a scary dog.

suvigirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073770#Comment_121073770

Ah I understand totally, seen it hundreds of times.

They will get bored of her eventually and move onto someone else, which isn't a lot of help to her right now.

Making things a bit more difficult for them can help. If she has railings/walk and a gate, get a lock for it. Any chance of putting the bins into one of those bin stores? They are expensive but I remember years ago kids used to take them and burn them every night, very annoying for everyone. There is also some kind of sticky paint that maybe she could put in top of the walls/railings, might be annoying enough to keep them away.

any interaction she has with these kids merely encourages them, it's great craic for them. I'm sorry she has to put up with these little feckers, you're getting no where when the parents don't care.

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073802#Comment_121073802

Yeah, I've said the best thing to do is not engage and she says she hasn't been but is a bit concerned that this has been going on for over 3 months now with no let up. And I know with Halloween coming up and them having access to fireworks/bangers that'll have her fairly fearful.

Started padlocking the gate after the most recent incident of the door kicking but it'd be low enough that it's still climbable but it's a deterrent nonetheless. In regards to the bin it wasn't a case of them coming in to the property to take it, it was left outside the house after the bin men collected it and she doesn't get home from work until the evening so not much that can be done there.

Just very annoying for anyone to be dealing with, really. With her anxiety I know this is very upsetting for her but feel like most options have been exhausted at this point besides abandoning ship and finding her a room to stay in until the house can be sold.

nachouser

Giving them chocolate didn't work out well for the other lad, so swerve that as an option.

suvigirl

It's really upsetting, especially for people living alone. She should definitely not engage with them. Try maybe the sticky stuff on railings, it might help.

kids under 12 just get away with anything, it's terrible, by the time they are 13 they have no fear.

Is there anyone that could stay for a few weeks with her?

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073840#Comment_121073840

Yeah, it's a shame. Crime is crime regardless of age, not saying we should be locking up children by any means but there should be a system in place to help steer kids in the right direction with therapy, social workers, psychiatrists etc.

I've been staying with her since the last incident with the door kicking but it's not a long term solution and obviously I can't be engaging with them either. The process of selling the house could take over a year due to it being left to the family in a Will and I can't imagine the toll it would take on her mental health if it was to persevere that long!

suvigirl

Seems a bit long to sell the house, surely they just need to put it up for sale as part of the estate of the deceased, then the money is divided?

Houses, particularly at the lower end of the market are still selling extremely well.

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073892#Comment_121073892

The hold up is in the fact that she wants to sell the house to then use the proceeds of the sale to buy a property elsewhere. The family members have all agreed to allowing that to go ahead but the solicitor is unsure of what tax implications will be involved as its akin to the family members forfeiting their share. I will say that this solicitor has been notoriously slow in the past. When the house was inherited it took him 2 years just to get the name change done on the deeds...

suvigirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073910#Comment_121073910

Oh lord, might be better for her mental health to change solicitors!

I hope those kids get bored/ or she gets to move soon

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121073948#Comment_121073948

Haha yeah I told her to change solicitors or become such a pain in the current one's side that he expedites it just to get it over with.

Hopefully it'll start to settle down a bit as the weather gets colder 🤞

1874

Expedite the proceedings and sale and ignore them as much as possible,if its to be sold it will be a small problem dealing with 6-10 year olds and I wouldnt even consider drawing attention by approaching the parents of the children who will get bored with no attention. If the property is vacant it wont be as good for a sale, clearing out any build up of personal knick knacks and uneccessary stuff is good to open up the spaces for a sale and make it ready to go, but without making it look empty or unoccupied. I do not see why a relative would forfeit their share when she wont even stay there to benefit her solely?? Moving things along quickly benefits her and everyone it seems, unless she is trying to gain an advantage as you say she want to use the proceeds for a purchase, which sounds very odd given it sounds like the inheritance is due to a few people. Try get one of the relatives to stay with her or instead of her. All sounds odd to me. If the Solcitor doesnt know the tax implications, look them up online and hire someone who does know or pay to speak to an accountant. My opinion is any Solicitor who deals with conveyancing should know what the implications are.

FYI kids will knock on peoples doors to get a response, the angrier the response the better and the kids may just be playful and not even scrotes, kicking the door less so, but same intention. If the she was at work, who knows who dragged the bin down the street? just make a point of asking an immediate neighbour if they can bring it in or get the assistance of someone or take a day off on bin day or go in late or something. There are a good number of ways around dealing with this without blowing it up beyond what it needs to be, especially as the house is to be sold.

meeeeeeh

It's not so much as she's gaining an advantage, per se. The house was left to the sons and daughters of the parents, at one point or another all of them have lived there as it's been a family house for 30 odd years. All of them would be fairly close so there's no ill intentions and when the rest of the family heard about the going ons they encouraged her to sell and find somewhere new. The new property would then be left in my aunt's will to the remaining children.

Yeah, I totally get that. I've been guilty of a knick-knack myself as a kid. Just the frequency at which these things have been happening have been wearing on her. Good point about the neighbor, I've been considering knocking into them over the weekend and introducing myself.

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121076786#Comment_121076786

It's not so much as she's gaining an advantage, per se. The house was left to the sons and daughters of the parents, at one point or another all of them have lived there as it's been a family house for 30 odd years. All of them would be fairly close so there's no ill intentions and when the rest of the family heard about the going ons they encouraged her to sell and find somewhere new. The new property would then be left in my aunt's will to the remaining children.

Yeah, I totally get that. I've been guilty of a knick-knack myself as a kid. Just the frequency at which these things have been happening have been wearing on her. Good point about the neighbor, I've been considering knocking into them over the weekend and introducing myself.

spaceHopper

Can you put a gate on the driveway so that they have to open in to go in, it would slow them down a good bit. Especially if it only opened wide enough for one person to go through at a time. Second camera covering more of the driveway. Can she see who's calling on the ring camera or is it only you. That way she knows to ignore it and maybe they'll stop getting fun out of it and do something else.

If it keeps happening go back to the gardai and say it's an older vulnerable lady living alone and they are terrifying her. Can they speak to the parents and ask for a pulse number.

meeeeeeh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121077480#Comment_121077480

Driveway does have a gate but would be large enough for the car to get through so don't think she'd be keen on replacing it with something smaller. Will look into wiring up a camera on the upper levels of the house. I know she does her best to ignore them, she's only engaged with them once after it really got to her and obviously that got her more attention because kids would think it's great craic.

If it keeps happening, I'll need to try bring her to the station, think they'd be more likely to take it seriously if it came from her personally. The guard I spoke to was friendly enough but he did kind of allude to the report having to come from her and not a relative.

MSVforever

Which part of Dublin is this? Sometimes it helps to have a word with a local Sinn Fein politician....(from my own experience).

spaceHopper

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121077502#Comment_121077502

Can she keep the gate closes at all times. Anything to slow them down.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121077757#Comment_121077757

I was just coming here to post something similar.

What she needs is someone in the community who the kids parents will take notice of. Maybe that's a politician (and yes, some parties are known for garnering more, err, respect) than others. For some families it might be a priest, local shopkeeper (the one who sells them cigs / beers), sports coach (the one who won't select the kids onto a team if they play up) etc.

A strong message from them in the right direction may well have the desired effect.

eggy81

Would it be possible to put in electric security gates in the entrance. With camera and all. Failing that some absolutely strong words of discouragement from yourself or a suitably aggressive sounding relative. Without actually threatening them obviously. Selling the house seems a huge move unless she wants to move.

1874

Not that she's gaining an advantage, Id dispute that opinion,because if its accurate, its entirely one sided, her relatives must be loaded or soft in the head. after that yarn I'm getting a bit suspect of these threads myself, like an ITV soap opera.

mrslancaster

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121077473#Comment_121077473

The house was left to a number of siblings and because local kids are causing a nuisance, they have agreed to sell the house and one sister buy a new property and leave it to the others in her will? Very generous siblings.

They have no idea how long the sister will live, she could meet someone and that could change who inherits her new property. Seems like a lot of legal hassle down the road for the extended family because of kids playing knick-knack.

DownByTheGarden

A relative of mine had 2 kids of a neighbor come into the garden and put some liquid all over her car that melted the paint off it. Then went around as as they leant up to each window, the window exploded. Did thousands of euro worth of damage.

She had a camera. The sh!ts had hoodies, but the gardai were able to tell her the names of the kids even though you couldnt clearly see their faces. Gardai called to the parents of one of the kids and the parent told them to fcuk off. They didnt bother calling to the parents of the other kid.

The next night they came back and pulled all the plants out of her garden. This time one of them wasnt wearing a hoody and was easily identified. Nothing has ever been done to any of those involved by the authorities.

One of the other neighbors called around and beat the crap out of the father who told the gards to fcuk off and told him for every time their young lad does something to people in the area he would give him another beating, and it all stopped them.

miamee

I've had some experience living alone and dealing with anti social behaviour by kids. They were a bit older than the kids mentioned here, early to mid teens an this was going back about 10 years ago. Where I lived was an odd set up and the teens liked to hang around outside where I lived as it was hidden from the main road and in a cosy little corner where they felt they had a private space. They used that private space to drink, smoke (everything) and hang out. I'd sometimes go out and just ask them what they were doing - "nothing" - well could you do nothing outside your own house? It never worked straight away but if I stood there looking at them they'd get fed up and move on elsewhere. The odd time they'd hurl a bit of abuse first and then shuffle off. Younger kids took to sitting on my doorstep, literally leaning against the front door so a few times I'd very quietly unlock the door and open it so fast that the leaner fell into my hall. They didn't like that and it stopped that after a couple of times.

OP although your aunt is nervous and anxious, she is an adult and these are little kids. She needs to come up with something that will make her house less attractive to them, the guards can't do anything with kids doing kid stuff. Go out to ask them about school and homework, blast a bit of classical music out the front window when they are near, spend time in the front garden in the evenings so it's not open season to go in to it. She could also ask a neighbour who is there during the day to maybe take in her bin on bin day until she gets home.