Caring for my elderly mother

carlandlenny

Hi, I'm looking for advice or just thoughts on the following, thanks.

The situation is my mid 80's mother, who has early alzheimer's, is living alone and I'm the only family she has. When I say I'm the only family, I really mean it. She has no siblings (all in UK) or husband, no cousins etc. And I'm the same, single, only child, late 50's. While she is independent now, things will only go in one direction in the future and the thought scares me as I'm completely alone in this, no support network at all.

There will come a time when either I live with her or she goes into a home.

A bit about me for context. Back in 2006 I bought a one bed apartment with the DCC shared ownership scheme. I was self employed and the recession of 2008 onwards really hit me hard, and after a few years of struggling and going on interest only the DCC basically gave me the option of either moving out or they take back the place and I become a council tenant. So I did that, as much as I hate it, being such a failure.

Since it's a one bed place, the option of my mother moving in, is out. I believe it might be possible to ask for another bigger place, but I'm sure that would be a many year wait, and then in a bad area. And, I can't move out to my mother's house as the DCC will only allow a place to be vacant for 6 weeks I think. And being a single man, there is no chance I'll get another place from the DCC.

You might be now thinking, sure I can move into my mother's house and eventually I'll inherit it. The house was my grandparents house, they were both gone in about 1970, my mother is the executor of the will. The house was supposed to be sold and split 4 ways. She never did this (I could write 10 more posts on this saga). So, I stand to inherit 25% minus what I feel will be considerable legal fees. So, moving back home will mean me ending up homeless, as how could one afford rent in the private sector on a state pension which is where I'll be by then.

The other option is a home, my mother has about 40k in savings and about 300pw pension. I'm not in a position to pay for it, so I believe that leaves the fair deal scheme? I don't know anyone that has used it so I just looked it up. Since her savings are about 40k, and the first 36 are not counted, I think that leaves she will have to pay 80% of her pension, plus 3 years of 7.5% (22.5% in total) of her share of the house after it's sold, is this correct?

Do you get the same choice of a home on the fair deal as compared to if you where paying privately? The other thing is, you hear so many stories of abuse going on in them, is this true or is it blown out of proportion in the media?

Thanks for reading!

HildaOgdenx

Mod - OP, I have moved your thread to the Carers Forum as there will likely be more expertise here in relation to the practicalities of your situation.

Local charter now applies.

All the best.

Hilda

Annasopra

This guy is a financial adviser giving advice on fair deal scheme. It might be worth ringing him to ask for advice. You don't necessarily have to use his service.

https://fairdealadvice.ie/

Annasopra

Also re homes.

You can choose your own

It's worth looking at location and also read through the most recent HIQA reports which are usually on the HIQA website.

carlandlenny

Thanks @Annasopra for the info, I'll have a read.