What Sort Of Access For Fathers

Dumb Juan

Hi,

Thanking you in advance for your replies.

Assuming a 'normal' marriage breakdown without violence or danger towards yourself or your kids what sort of access was granted to your husband by the courts or agreed by you.

If it helps with us we have two kids (14 & 11) and we both work full time with two days working from home.  

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058311160/what-sort-of-access-for-fathers

In an amicable situation such as the one you describe, is there a reason the couple can't agree access between themselves/in mediation rather than waiting to see what a court orders? My (male) partner has 50% custody of his three young children as that's what he and his ex agreed. I would have thought this is what both parties would want in any situation where there's no concerns around the kids' welfare?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121042681#Comment_121042681

With regard to your last sentence, the reality that if the woman can successfully claim (regardless of the reality) in court she is the primary parent and that the father is unsuitable, she will win control of the family home. This is something which is a really, really big elephant in the room of why divorces, under current Irish law, end up contested.

There is a huge financial incentive for women to claim that the father is an unsuitable parent, and a widespread belief that if a mother challenges any sort of 50:50 division of parenting and assets she will win in front of a family law judge because of her gender. The secrecy of the family law courts does nothing but encourage this latter belief, and thus encourages legal resistance by many women to any sort of 50:50 division of all family obligations and assets. This Oireachtas-legislated secrecy, which breeds fear, means happy days for the legal industry, of course!

the.red.baron

in reality a 50:50 split of assets just doesn't work for most unless they can afford it, the numbers just dont add up

Same with custody, especially with younger kids, someone will be the primary parent and typically it is the mother. Other than some sort of spite, this is a lot of work for the person who gets primary custody, so what the incentive to make this happen for the mother?

FishOnABike

The best course of action is to agree as much as you possibly can between yourselves and have mediator or solicitors draw it up as a legal agreement to present to the court as a fait accompli for court approval.

The more you can both agree, the more input you both have into the eventual outcome.

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121045312#Comment_121045312

None of which bears any relation to the OP's question, though.

Fiona

My husband is separated from his ex wife 11 years.

It has been two full weekends per month and alternating Christmas's and New Years since day one. Try and do alternating Christmas, it's very important for both parents to get to experience the joy of Christmas morning would be my only advice.

She would have been happy for the access to be more but he works shift and lives 150km away so simply not possible due to work and he was doing all the commuting. We got a house two years ago and we now take them for a week in the summer. They are older now 14 and 13 so they are free to come and go as they wish it's no problem.

I hope this helps.