What would the world be like if everyone was single?

pgj2015

im talking about no one married or in relationships ever.

Would it be better or worse?

I think better but I suppose thats just because I prefer it myself.

But it would be strange wouldnt it, coupled up people would live very different lives, they would probably go out a lot more, hang out with friends a lot more, maybe more holidays and money to spend. less boring in my opinion, I think a lot of people become boring when part of a couple, they get old before their time.

people could date a different person every night or week etc, no messy divorces, would that make them happier or not?

Leg End Reject

A lot of people wouldn't know who their father was so we'd all be unwittingly riding our relatives.

We'd need a lot of housing too, but smaller houses and apartments would be more common.

Some people would be happier, some wouldn't.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004294#Comment_121004294

Could they not do paternity tests to see who their father is?

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004297#Comment_121004297

You could, but if there's no monogamy you might need a lot of men to be willing to get tested to determine which one is the father of a child.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004302#Comment_121004302

Or just use contraception?

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004307#Comment_121004307

Not everyone bothers in the heat of the moment, that will never change. No method is 100% either.

Actually, STDs would go through the roof.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004316#Comment_121004316

not 100% but if you use 2 methods together you will be pretty safe from pregnancy.

true on stds but I think they already are through the roof.

corner of hells

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004316#Comment_121004316

STDs don’t go through the roof , they go through your ……. oh , apologies.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004347#Comment_121004347

I actually thought the same posting it! 😂

newmember2

Who's raising the kids?

taxAHcruel

Id be bored for sure :) Who would I cook for? :)

Jim_Hodge

I know it's not for everybody but I would find a life without a strong monogamous relationship, in a loving family unit, lonely and unfulfilled.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004454#Comment_121004454

I wonder what the majority would like though? Do most people couple up because its kind of a tradition or the thing you are "supposed" to do,

pgj2015

@newmember2 either parent or both of them but not part of a couple.

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004471#Comment_121004471

I've no idea and can't speak for, or imagine what, the majority of people feel. As for the motivations of most others, none of us know.

kippy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058310081/what-would-the-world-be-like-if-everyone-was-single

The human race wouldn't exist within 100 years.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004500#Comment_121004500

it would, kids often get raised by single parents and in this scenario both parents could raise their kids if that is what they wanted.

some single people these days raise kids on their own or with other people who want kids but are not in a relationship.

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004454#Comment_121004454

I dunno. I think if that happened to me I would go with it. I could live the MGTOW life if my relationship broke down. I do not think at 44 that I have the energy to get back in the dating game. So if anything happened - I would totally MGTOW the rest of my life.

Looking unlikely though. I've been going out with the girls for over 15 years and have 4 kids with them and we have canines. It's the settled life for me!

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004548#Comment_121004548

you don't have energy at 44? 😯

TedBundysDriver

Divorce lawyers would have to work in Aldi instead

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004569#Comment_121004569

I have a lot of energy I think. I do capoeira and BJJ and archery and horse riding and running and other martial arts and I have a serious fetish for cookery which I spend hours doing.

But I think despite all that if I suddenly ended up single - I don't have the particular energy required to go back on the market. If I woke up single tomorrow I'd happily stay that way and just do the thing. I couldn't do the whole relationship building thing all over again from scratch. It feels like "been there done that" so I'd be looking at what else there is in life.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004587#Comment_121004587

Yes but why do you have to be in a relationship when the opposite sex come into it? you could just date and not get into a relationship.

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004596#Comment_121004596

I spend a lot of time with my friends. And I spend a hell of a lot of time training children. I think if my romantic/sexual relationship ever ended (unlikely at this point so this is all just conjecture and thinking out loud) I would just keep at those relationships. I would not invest in a romantic relationship again. I'd be done.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004603#Comment_121004603

yeah but a date is just a few hours, no big investment needed.

you could see mary tonight and susan next week etc

taxAHcruel

Agree. I just don't see the appeal. I'd prefer to spend a few hours on the mats breaking bones and choking throats :) And teaching kids to fight. Or give me a few hours alone with my oneida kestrel. I'd be happy out.

Not that I am not happy with the girls. I love being in a relationship. Especially a relationship that makes most guys drool. I just wouldn't ever be interested in another one. I could not do the whole "start from scratch" thing. I don't think I'd have the energy or head space for it. I've enough friends without doing "just drinks" with any gal just for the sake of it.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004616#Comment_121004616

So if you were single tomorrow, you would happily live until you die without sex?

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004619#Comment_121004619

I think so yes. Don't get me wrong. I love sex. A lot. Especially the sex I am getting most of the time. But it's never felt like a need. If i t went away tomorrow I would not miss it.

If my bow went away tomorrow - or I could never fight again - I think I would feel that more. If I go a week without a fight all my old anxieties and depressions and self doubt and self hatred start coming back. I need challenges and "controlled discomfort" to keep me sane.

Sex though I think I could live without. I think I would be more likely to miss basic human touch and affection before I would miss sex. The touch of a loved one - the gentle caress or the cuddle - would be a lot more important to me than sex.

Sex is great. It's just never been a life priority for me I think. Which is ironic given I get more of it than most people I think :)

kippy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004518#Comment_121004518

People are talking about not knowing who was related to who, potentially having sex with a relation, then stating that using contraception would reduce these chances above. The birthrate has to be above a certain level for the race to survive, I can't see how this would happen in scenario above.

I've never stated that single people cannot rear kids, am just going down the logical path based on things that are being suggested.

.

taxAHcruel

It's a weird idea that if everyone was single - that parenting and procreation would somehow stop happening. I sincerely doubt that. I actually think the opposite would happen. It would become the embodiment of the concept that "it takes a village to raise a child". The concept of family would simply become more communal.

Not sure if anyone remembers the movie Kpax. Or the book (if you do not like kevin spacey anymore you might like the book more) but the society he claimed to come from in the book / movie is basically what life would look like if the OPs thesis came into effect. There would be just as many children. It would just be a totally different concept of family.

magicbastarder

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004378#Comment_121004378

this. either the human race dies out because women aren't having kids or every single mother is a single mother.

Jim_Hodge

Single parent SW payments would cripple the country.

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004700#Comment_121004700

LOL they wouldnt exist though surely? Communal parenting would be a thing. There would BE no "single parents". There would just be the adults and the young and we would all be looking after them together?

At least that is what KPAX would have you believe. I love "family" to be honest but I can not say I do not see the concept from KPAX in a positive light too. It would be very different. But it would be equally wonderful I think.

I live in a small area between Maynooth and kilcock. The idea I could get up tomorrow and teach all the kids in the area what I have to teach - martial arts mostly - and then someone else would take over when I go to work and teach them all - I dunno - farming - and the next person maths and the next and the next - - -

It's be an interesting life. You wouldn't know which of the batch of kids is actually yours. And you wouldn't care even. It would just be your slot to do communal parenthood in that moment.

EDIT: Im not much of a gamer but I have my moments where I play games heavily. But the nerds would know better than me on this one. Isn't the "Qun" from Dragon age very similar to the society of KPAX? What I would be interested to know is has it ever been tried in human history? My history sucks! Instantly my mind is telling me that @Peregrinus would know the answer to this.

Mister Vain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004706#Comment_121004706

Are you that guy that hangs around Maynooth with the two Asian girls?

Lewis_Benson

Hey OP.

Who do you think would win in a fight?

Batman or Superman?

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121005129#Comment_121005129

I dont think I know any asians personally. We are all Irish here.

Wall to wall bastards!

Mrs Doyle.

Peregrinus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058310081/what-would-the-world-be-like-if-everyone-was-single

People would have less money, not more. There are considerable economies to living as a couple.

On the whole, a significant number of people would be less happy than they are now. A lot of people — probably a majority — prefer to be in relationships for the social, emotional and psychological support that relationships bring. Not unrelated (and not really all that surprising) is the fact that people in relationships have more sex than people not in relationships.

On the whole, being in a relationship is good for us. On average, people in relationships enjoy better health, and live longer, than people not in relationships.

So, yeah, the world the OP envisages would be quite a stressful world.

taxAHcruel

Wouldnt the "economies" be totally different though? Aren't you applying the economies of couples as we have it now to the new concept of no couples? Surely we would structure it entirely different if society was as the Thesis of the OP? There would be no "couples" economy because the concept would be alien to the financial structure of that society.

I know you know history a lot more than I do though so I am glad you showed up in the thread :) I wanted to ask - has a communal child rearing concept ever actually been tried in human history? Where there is no family structure but just a community upbringing all the kids and I guess free relationships without pairing off and the like?

Peregrinus

On the economics issue - two adults sharing the expenses of a common home is always going to be hugely more efficient than two adults maintaining separate homes. There is no way of squaring that particular circle.

Of course, if everyone is single then you can experiment with different living arrangements that don't involve one-person households - group homes, dormitories, whatever. But that's a separate issue - you can experiment with those right now, if you like, with couples, or couples and singles, living in group homes or dormitories. Things like that have indeed been tried, e.g. with communes. There haven't been very many successful experiments, though.

As for communal child-rearing — this isn't a simple binary, where you either raise children in a nuclear family or raise them as children of the village. This is a spectrum. What many societies do is raise children in the context of an extended family - grandparents, uncles, aunts are all involved, though parents still retain the primary role. For the extended family to be constantly closely involved, however, they pretty much have to live as an extended family - sharing a compound, or at least all in the same village.

There are also many societies — often hunter-gatherer societies — where people live in groups of 30 to 80, and raising children is a very communal exercise. But this does seem to be linked with very rigid gender roles - raising the group's children is the responsibility of the women, and fathers often have little to do with their children until they reach adolescence, at which point they are responsible for arranging husbands for their daughters, and for training and initiating their sons. I'm not sure that this model would catch on in 21st-century Ireland.

SFAIK none of these groups have done this in the context of all the adults being single — men and women continue to form committed conjugal relationships (which may be polygamous) and both mothers and fathers continue to have a unique relationship with their children. These groups tend to attach considerable importance to family relationships, and status is closely linked to who your parents and other relatives are.

Marriage of one kind or another seems to be pretty universal — we don't know of any culture that doesn't give a central place to some form of committed conjugal relationship, and that doesn't link this to the begetting and raising of children. But types of marriage are very varied and include polygamy and (although quite rare) group marriage.

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121005711#Comment_121005711

The economies would be the same as today. Two will always live cheaper than one. And shared child custody causes additional costs. It's the economies of scale and you can't just structure them differently.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121005678#Comment_121005678

Maybe but maybe not, lots of sexless marriages out there.

prostitution would probably be made legal like in other European Countries, that would sort that issue out.

Maybe a lot of people assume they are happier in a relationship but the reality might be different? for me there is a lot less stress and pressure when single.

taxAHcruel

Nice summary. I find it hard to even imagine what the economy would look like in a "KPAX" style society. Itd be so different to what we have that I am not sure you can even describe it using comparisons.

Even my relationship with two women and two kids with each of them - is very different to how most people live. My Tax returns alone would give you nightmares. Hence my username!

whisky_galore

Wedding planners would become extinct.

pgj2015

Something I just thought of there, a lot of people I know who are single look at least 10 years younger than they are, thats if they want to be single, I also know single people who dont want to be single and some of them look far older because they arent happy and so have bad habits like drinking far too much.

Peregrinus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121005811#Comment_121005811

Well, there are lots of sexless singles our there too. Or, more to the point, singles who aren't completely sexless, but who don't get a lot of sex. Sex surveys pretty consistently show people have more sex when in relationships which, on the whole, is what you'd expect.

As for prostitution, it is not illegal in Ireland (though other aspects of sex work are). But, legal or illegal, it's not a substitute for a relationship that involves meaningful sex, emotional support and intimacy. Whatever health and welfare impacts people suffer from not being in relationships, they are not likely to be remedied by engaging the services of sex workers.

And, as for your own situation, you may be one of those people who is not suited to being in a relationship. It seems to me that arguing that everyone should be in a relationship is just as misguided as arguing that nobody should be; the truth is that people are different and they want different things. There's a good argument that we live in an excessively romantic culture that assumes that everyone's goal should be settled coupledom and those who don't achieve this are failures, while those who don't want it are weird or repressed. I suspect most people, most of the time, are better off in conjugal relationships; we are social animals, after all, and this particular mode of living and raising children seems to be almost universal, so its a good strategy for the species. But it doesn't follow that everyone has to fit into that mould, and a help culture should accommodate and sustain both.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121005997#Comment_121005997

If you visit a prostitute in Ireland that is illegal and if caught you will end up in court for the offence. its illegal for the user.

maybe its just me but sex is sex, doesnt matter if its as part of a couple or with someone you are in a relationship with, in my opinion, I obviously could be wrong. best sex I ever had was a one night stand with someone I met an hour before lol.

im not saying everyone should be single, the thread is just asking the question, what would the world be like if everyone was single.

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121005811#Comment_121005811

It seems you're projecting your view, or experience(?), of relationships on the general population. I sense most people in relationships don't suffer stress or pressure any more than those who are single.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006327#Comment_121006327

Yes but others, including yourself are projecting their experiences of relationships, that is the whole point of the thread. im looking for other people opinions and experiences.

im just giving my opinion, im not saying im right or wrong in my opinions.

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121004481#Comment_121004481

You don't have kids do you? So you're spouting rubbish :) Families, children are what drive human society.

As to the OP question - human population would be decimated very quickly.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006375#Comment_121006375

so you are telling me single people don't raise kids? or raise them with the other parent?

and just because I dont have kids, means I cant have an opinion on the matter?

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006396#Comment_121006396

Of course you can have an opinion. But without direct experience of taking responsible care of children born to you, your opinion is limited.

Why would you want to be single anyway? Can't see the attraction. Each to their own but I think if you look about you, you'll see that the norm in human society is for couples and families. For good reason over millennia.