Struggling with decision of secondary schools

choicetomake

Hi, I am struggling with a decision, there is a choice of two secondary schools in my area. One school has a unit attached and have smaller numbers compared to the other school. My child had dyslexia and suspected ASD (have gone through the assessment 3 times and this would be 4th time). They struggle with the social side of things rather than anything else very independent, capable and involved in different activities.

I spoke with the bigger secondary school the principal is lovely and very much for their students and be straight talker which I prefer. They would know my child from different activities due to their child going to them. They have a stand back approach watch, observe and let them settle in and then provide the resources where needed.

I spoke with the smaller secondary school I just got the feeling from that it wouldn't be the same. The principal is nice but they put a deadline of a week to make my decision even though, the other school said wait until they do the camps in both schools and then decide. A week went by and the smaller school rings me have I made my decision and tell them whether they are going or not. I felt I was getting pushed into a corner and I had NEPs on to me for the smaller school it be better for them. So I said they will go there.

Then we did the handover with NEPs, school, and myself. I asked for them to take stand back approach let them settle in first and see where they need the support the most but they were like no straight away they are going to jump in to provide resources.

They went to the camp and said it was good. But the camp for the bigger school was coming up and they really wanted to go to it. They came out beaming from it and said they loved it.

They now want to go that school feel it's better for them. I said to my child it's bigger numbers compared to the other school, they were like sure but I would have to get use to it as I be facing higher number of people when I get older.

I would prefer the bigger school even though, I know a lot of teachers in the smaller school. I am afraid too if it didn't work out in the bigger school i would have to go back down to the smaller school and my hands up that made a mistake. Also the handover is done now and I don't think NEPs would be happy that there was a change of mind. I had spoken to her that I didn't want to rush this decision as I felt there was going to be the possibility that they chsnge their mind. We are lucky here due to the numbers compare to anywhere else

Has anyone changed their mind and went to a different school and was there much hassle?

Thanks sorry for long post.

afkasurfjunkie

I think the actual size of the school is only one factor that I’d be looking at. I’d be a lot more interested in the subjects available to my child and their interests. Are they into sport, drama or art, and which school would suit them best in that regard?

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058305002/struggling-with-decision-of-secondary-schools

I take it that your child is due to start secondary school in September so this is very time sensitive. It is a hard decision to make - I would go with your childs preference. They wont thank you if they are no given the chance to at least try the bigger school.

What school is your childs friends going to?

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120849776#Comment_120849776

...what if the child has little or no interest in the big school, what if the bigger school scares the sh1te outta the child? everything terrified me at that age, in particular major changes, changing schools triggered major anxiety issues, this really is a tricky decision, a lot of is a hope for the best situation....

...go with the gut op, and best of luck

fello asd/adhd/dysleximification type person......

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120849990#Comment_120849990

The OP said the child wants to go to the bigger school in their post.....

choicetomake

Double post

choicetomake

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120849724#Comment_120849724

Yeah they play sport and enjoys drama. Both schools has sports but the smaller school is only really starting out with the girls gaa this year. They do drama for ty. She wants to do french but what is putting me off the smaller school is that they would pull her out of French if she needs more resources. I would rather pay for grinds than be pulled her from something if she is enjoying it and finding it ok. If it didn't help then to take her out. For leaving cert they only do one level.

They are going to redirect her in subjects choices to do music so make things easier for her.

choicetomake

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120849776#Comment_120849776

There is one going to each school. The girl going to the smaller school has ASD so she be going to unit at times but my child won't be. She can go in if she wants but she doesn't want to.

choicetomake

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120849990#Comment_120849990

She wants to go there but that is also my fear that it might happen to her.

A friend is going to the bigger school and also one in the smaller one. What she liked that there was more students so a better chance of meeting someone who she could be friends with.

After she did the camp there was only a small number of girls in the smaller school. She is coming from a small national school and has witnessed the clique that went on. At one stage there was only three of them the other two was good friends and she felt very left out by them and not included. As they say two is company three is a crowd. I was happy to see another girl come into the class with her. That is what I am afraid off that will happen in the smaller school. If that friend left that school there isn't much of a pool of friends to get into.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120850504#Comment_120850504

unfortunately theres probably no real way out of the anxiety issues, as it is a fundamental part of the disorders, as is said, its how its dealt with is the more important thing. definitely encourage her to be more involved in relaxing activities, both during and outside of school, particularly physical activities, this will help to significantly reduce anxieties....unfortunately coordination problems are also common with these disorders, does she have such problems?

did she regularly become overwhelmed during primary, how was this dealt with? i certainly wouldnt be pushing her too hard in regards academic results, as the whole experience is overwhelming as is, but if shes into it, definitely encourage it, but within reason of course....

...the bigger school sounds like the better option, but its all a bit of a chance either way, school is just very overwhelming for those of us with these issues, and sometimes we have to hope for the best

..just be aware, bigger school probably means noiser, so she may need to use methods of reducing any sort of auditory sensory issues, noise cancelling, ear plugs etc etc, and places to be simply alone from time to time throughout the day....

Wanderer78

this youtube channel may have some helpful tips in general, highly recommend attwoods work.....

https://www.youtube.com/user/autismhangout/videos