Inferiority complex

Pawwed Rig

This is just a theory I have and may just be an Irish thing but do we feel threatened by those who we feel are "better people" than us?

What brought it into my head was a post in the tossers thread that was criticising overweight people for doing exercise. Apparently this makes them tossers 🤨

Now I assume the guy was just trolling but it does remind me of the scorn that is poured on anyone who tries to better themselves (or the planet) by their life choices. You will see regular cyclists and vegans, for example, getting dogs abuse on this site. Now I do not consider myself to be either although I did try veganism for a week and do have a bicycle but haven't been on it for a while now but people seem to get into a blind rage at the very thought that these people exist. In my life I have rarely been bothered by a vegan or a cyclist but others seem to be harassed by them constantly 😅

Is it that we look at these guys and see that they are doing something for the good of themselves and society which gives us a sense of our own inadequacy/laziness?

Are there other groups that get this scorn? I would guess non drinkers are a group that are sick of explaining themselves. Are there any others?

The only people who seem to be beyond criticism here are those that do nothing for themselves or others. Is it plain old fashioned begrudgery?

Mod hat on - this is not a cycling v driving thread or a vegan v meat thread and will be monitored as such. There are plenty of places that these topics are being discussed.

Arthur Pants

That lycra clad overweight cyclist sounds like a tosser.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058304606/inferiority-complex

Yeah lots of people hate rich people as well, look at the reaction of lots of people to the victims of the submarine accident, I was shocked by it, some people seemed nearly glad they were killed in the submarine.

Dial Hard

It's begrudgery rooted in pettiness. "How dare anyone try and do something to better their health/the environment/whatever when I couldn't be arsed doing the same?", basically. It makes them feel uncomfortable and instead of examining why, they turn their ire outwards rather than in.

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120836374#Comment_120836374

Yeah I was going to include people who work hard and do better for themselves as an example aswell. I have seen people called stupid for working harder to get promotions and pay increases. The acceptable way to behave is do do the bare minimum and clock out not one second after your prescribed hours.

taxAHcruel

It can start early too. I remember the term "swot" for example being flung at kids back as far as primary school - to describe any kid who too visibly attempted to actually get educated.

There also seems to be a special judgement - perhaps a little similar to the nondrinkers one I am not sure - that some people have related to people who choose to remain childless and never become parents.

As for why or what is at the root of it all - I think there is no one answer even within any one of the groups. Let alone between them. I would say for example the source of peoples negative reactions to a nondrinker can be very different to the source of ire someone might have seeing someone out trying to better themselves physically.

Drinkers around a nondrinker for example might feel in their head like the nondrinker is sitting there judging them the whole night. Thinking quietly to themselves things like "Ah look paddys having another one now - bet he is an alco" or internally commenting on how drunk everyone is getting.

Whereas if someone jogs past you trying to get fit I would say it is less likely the source of ire is because they feel the jogger is running past judging them. Here is might be something like the person inside themselves knows that they should be working on their physical health and seeing other people getting after it and sticking to the path makes them start to self judge or feel a failure which they then turn outwards.

Not too long ago I was in the park with one of my youngest kids - at 7pm on a Friday evening - and some randomer guy walking past shouted "get a job!" at me. Didn't respond to him in even the slightest way or acknowledge him. But later I did muse on where that must be coming from. What must be going on in someones life to shout that late on a friday evening at a father clearly doing nothing but having quality time with their child? Wherever he is my sympathy going out to him.

In the end it is all baffling to me as I rarely notice anything that someone else is doing with their lives and find it bothers me. I genuinely can not figure out why it might or should. It is not affecting me one iota. And if you find yourself getting bothered by how other people are living their lives - assuming they are not actively doing anything immoral or illegal - then in all likelyhood it's not them that has the problem or is the problem. It's you. (Royal you, not meaning you the OP or anything :-) )

As for the tossers thread I have never opened it. I can imagine the type of stuff that is going to be in there and the petty minutia that rises peoples ire. From overweight people trying to get fit to what kind of clothes people wear. Being summer I can predict with almost total certainty there is going to be at least one post about people who wear long socks with shorts for example. Because in a universe packed with countless billions of stars and planets - and on a planet punctuated with war and suffering - what people you do not know do with their socks is _ clearly _ something to get worked up and emotional about :)

Pawwed Rig

@taxAHcruel the tossers thread is generally harmless and light hearted in that everyone is essentially a tosser for something or other they do, say ,wear etc. As usual you have the few malcontents that want to have a dig/argue about something our the other (the irony is seemingly lost on them).

The old quote comes to mind

"Small minds discuss people.

Average minds discuss events.

Great minds discuss ideas."

tesla_newbie

That’s more a begrudging attitude than an inferiority complex

limnam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120836812#Comment_120836812

I find it odd that you deem the tossers thread to be generally harmless light hearted fun. (As Do I)

But similar behavior "IRL" to be something more sinister.

I understand this is not a vegan thread but as an example. Vegans tend to offer up a hell of a lot of material for p|ss takers. I would imagine few people take the p|ss out of them due to inferiority complex

Same goes for the work example. Without having figures to back it up I would guess the work to live rather live to work are the majority.

People in the work to live camp often find it hard to understand why people would want to put in hours upon hours of their own free time often into faceless corporations. Again I imagine in nearly every case this gets brought up it has nothing to with inferiority complex but just a lack of empathy or understanding of anothers way of thinking

We as a nation. (Or at least we used to be) are a a nation of p|ss takers. and I'd say for the most part. It's nothing more than that.

Lads having the "bantz"

Tavrin Callas

I don't follow that thread, but you'd want to be a very special type of tosser yourself to find a problem with someone trying to lose weight.

Stephen_Maturin

Yeah absolutely

Private schools are another one

In private schools you will get total arseholes as well as perfectly friendly, honest, good people. Like every single other segment of society.

However if you ask the public at large you’d be given the impression they’re all horrible Ross O’Carroll Kelly Bullingdon club types. Which is totally untrue.

I know, because I went to one.

I’m not at all from a wealthy background, far from it, but my parents placed a lot of importance on my education (both teachers) and made huge sacrifices to send me to that school.

Honestly you wouldn’t believe the amount of judgement, presumptions and random general abuse this opened me up to from others. Even amongst grown adults it’s something I never mention, because you never know what they might say (have heard some mad things over the years).

Even some of my closest friends from college admitted that had they known I went to a private school before they got to know me, they probably never would’ve given me a chance. Which is terrible really. And I never even got the benefit of being rich either!!

As you say OP, everyone’s all about not judging people by their background/things they can’t change…unless they perceive them to be “better”, then suddenly it’s nearly encouraged.

“Punch up!” everyone says. Seems it never occurs to them should they even punch in the first place…

JupiterKid

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120836404#Comment_120836404

Nailed it in one. 👍

This sense of inadequacy by many on Boards is what drives the sneering bitterness displayed towards others trying to better themselves and their loved ones.

Very sad.

limnam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120837994#Comment_120837994

If it's the post I think it is. Was nothing to with them cycling to lose weight.

They were using the road when there was a dedicated cycling lane. The fact they were overweight was a side issue.

But I think most can agree what we think about people who use the road instead of the cycling lane. Fat or not fat.

There’s a lot of stupid underachieving people (mostly men) who carry a deep-rooted inferiority complex towards people who are more successful, wealthy, sporty, sexually attractive etc than they are.

This inferiority complex manifests itself in angry and impotent online rants. It can also manifest itself in hating anyone who isn’t pale, male and stale like themself - women, immigrants, LGBT folks, Greta Thunberg etc.

Some of life’s greatest losers tbh. Beta sorts.

limnam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120838391#Comment_120838391

Keep in mind Doc.

Some just want to take the p|ss out of vegans.

wotzgoingon

I got dogs abuse for my girlfriends. I go through many and people seem jealous about it.

Arthur Pants

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120838391#Comment_120838391

Presumably these are middie aged white males...

Would be the key demographic here for sure.

tesla_newbie

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120838391#Comment_120838391

More soundbites than you could shake a tweet at

nachouser

You nailed it with malcontents.

As to an inferiority complex, the nation that gave us Sir Roy of Keane and Cork people in general would give the lie to that suggestion.

Count Dracula

If you have it you get it.

If you don't have one we can arrange one for you.

Let us know in your application how you feel this is going to work out for you, we will tell you what your opinion is going to be, when we have decided what we want your opinion to be.

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120838372#Comment_120838372

Nope. The post was

"Same to be said for the Lycra lads ( cyclists top heavy that’ll never shift an ounce of weight) yet persevere weekly

rolls of blob everywhere trying to escape"

No mention of cycle lanes (as if that would make it better).

That thing about vegans always going on all the time about being vegan... I hear people say that far far more than actual vegans going on about being vegan. And the upset about vegans/vegan food and milk being available at all? Bizarre. I do think it's because of the reminder that eating meat/eggs/dairy is contributing to terrible cruelty (I'm not a vegan or vegetarian, but I know I should be).

That tossers thread is not light-hearted! It's full of people complaining about the mildest of things, which don't even begin to make someone a tosser.

I do think you shouldn't work outside your set hours unless compensated though. Doing unpaid overtime is being a pushover.

I also don't blame people for taking issue with a system that allows a tiny number of people become billionaires, when there are people who struggle to pay their bills and don't have the access to the tools that enable wealth. However the comments about those guys in the submersible were just evil. There was a kid in there of just 19.

limnam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120838528#Comment_120838528

Ah, it was a follow up on the cycle lane post I was referring to.

So are we suggesting then we have to assume thin fit and healthy person has an inferority complex about a fat person in lycra?

Doesn't make much sense.

There's an element of it everywhere - look at the Simpsons and you'll recognise it across the board .. Stupid Flanders!! Shelbyville with its notions.. Frank Grimes ... Everyone hating the local billionaire ... Lisa getting hassle for being a nerd... it goes on and on, but I think you get it quite strongly here as it's merged in with that 'slagging' culture that you get in both Ireland and Britain.

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120838585#Comment_120838585

To be fair Burnsie was literally the Devil incarnate in some of the episodes 😁

I get slagging bit it is not what I am talking about here.

sprucemoose

i think i can explain/rationalise some of them:

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120836322#Comment_120836322

there is an element of 'all talk and no bollix' about someone who is clearly overweight being clad head to toe in lycra as its not going to make much of a difference overall if they arent that fit already - its a little bit like the soccer/gaa/rugby player turning up with the flashest white boots but no talent

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120836374#Comment_120836374

but why couldnt they just give the money to 'de pawr homeless peepil' instead?

It is the basis of a lot of the slagging that can go on in male group friendships.

Kurooi

Firstly veganism or cycling doesn't make you a better person. This construct is what pisses people off.

Secondly and past that first point, no, in my experience I haven't noticed this. Irish people are generally easier going at least compared to their European friends.

It has more serious consequences as well, the son of a friend of mine was beaten up recently, it was completely random, and there was an element of the attackers seeing a tall good looking D4 type and being triggered by it, I know of two other cases like that and one had a very serious outcome.

brokenbad

Begrudgery is one of the main traits of the Irish Psyche

limnam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120839100#Comment_120839100

Indeed.

In fact. Most of the cyclists and vegan's I know are complete cnts.

ancapailldorcha

Interesting proposition, OP.

For me, it comes down to language. We have a language that virtually nobody speaks. I live in London and I work for a University with a very diverse workforce. The place is stacked to the brim with people from the continent and beyond that are fully fluent in numerous languages while we only speak English. Can't help but feel like a bit of a failure in that regard.

I was in the Netherlands recently and, with the exception of an old woman in an Indonesian deli, every single person I met spoke perfect English. The model is there but we've not bothered. The Brits have the excuse of having once been the greatest power in the world. We've no excuse.

Greyfox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120842046#Comment_120842046

We have a perfect excuse, we don't need a 2nd language as the English language does the job perfectly. Nobody is stopping anyone from learning another language but I would rather do something more worthwhile in my free time.

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120840843#Comment_120840843

So is it a sense of inadequacy that makes you feel like this? Why do you have such strong feelings for people because of their lifestyle that doesn't affect you in the slightest. Personally I still eat what I like but know that if I was to debate a vegan that I couldn't come up with reasonable arguments. My only argument was that I tried it for a week but didn't like it. This ignores all the moral and environmental issues though. I am not a regular cyclist but not a big car user either so could hold my own in that comparison.

Peregrinus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120840843#Comment_120840843

Not to state the obvious here but, in the class of "the cyclists and vegans I know", the common factor — the one thing all these vegans and cyclists have in common — is that they are known to you. This tends to support the OP's suspicion that the fact that you regard them with distaste tells us something about you rather than something about them.

I worked in the US for a couple of years, there were many aspects of American society I didn’t like, but the one I like the most is their can-do/I wanna be that guy attitude. If someone fails, be it in business, in relationships, personal improvement, they are encouraged to get up and get on, and if they succeed, people want to be them, not begrudge them. One of the things I found hard to understand here was people saying that others shouldn’t try to work so hard, shouldn’t be so ambitious, are fools to try and improve their life by advancing at work or even by improving their health or lifestyle. The fact is that it says more about the begrudgers lack of ambition, work ethic and lack of understanding that all people are not born athletes and carnivores.

Musicrules

It's funny, there is actually more hate and some form of complex that emerges from the so called 'achievers' than anyone else! Many of them despise poor people and look down on anyone who are unfortunate enough to need state assistance to survive. They also have a deep hatred of an ethnic minority in this country. But they go on as they are they are morally superior to everyone else.

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120844566#Comment_120844566

Not something I have ever experience to be honest. Depends what your definition of achiever is though. I would agree that in the upper echelons of English society that there is a active disgust at what they perceive to be the lower classes but there is also a dislike of what they perceive as new money or the uppity lower classes. It would not surprise me if some wealthy Irish people mimicked this opinion.

limnam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120844516#Comment_120844516

I guess you missed the part earlier about the "bantz" earlier in the thread.

You also missed the point of the poster I was quoting.

While I'm sure some cyclists or vegans believe themselves to be better than others because of life choices they make.

Being a cyclist or a vegan doesn't make you a "better person"

But do go on and tell me about all my inferority complexes. One sentence and your living in my head rent free

Peregrinus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120844663#Comment_120844663

Did you perhaps mean that you were living in my head rent free? 😀

limnam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120844501#Comment_120844501

Ah come off it Rig.

This is armchair psychology nonsense.

Why would what someone eats or doesn't eat cause someone to have an inferiority complex?

If I felt anything at all for a vegan it would probably be sorry for them. As they miss out on so much good food :)

I've stated my position already I think the vast majority of what you're referring to is the Irish way of having the "craic"

This thread is a good example. One statement and two people are firing "you have an inferioity complex!!"

YellowLead

Some of the time it’s not about an inferiority complex, it’s disliking somebody who is doing something not because they believe in it, but just so they can preach and pretend to themselves that they are better than everyone else because they do x. We all know those types.

I have absolutely no issue with somebody being vegan for example, if they are doing it for the right reasons then fair play to them. I know they exist, but I have yet to meet one who hasn’t stopped going on about it and how brilliant they are because of it. We all try and do things in life (the decent among is) that are good - maybe it’s volunteering, being kind to the vulnerable, recycling bla bla but we don’t need to shout it from the rooftops and make out like we are better than your average Joe because of it.

What annoys me is that you will see a vegan holding an I phone and wearing clothes that were made in a sweat shop, despite the fact that it’s well known that those workers get treated like **** and there have been multiple suicides, accidental deaths etc. It’s a bit funny - I’m brilliant because I didn’t eat that free range egg from my neighbours farm, but I’ll happily support the modern day slavery of humans 🙃

Now I have an I phone myself and wear high street clothes, but I don’t claim to be perfect in any way, I try and do little things.

The thing is why does anyone care I'd be thinking knock yourself out with your cycling veganism, meanwhile I'm haveing my steak, if any tried to preach to me I'd say thanks but no thanks, Iv found an amount of cyclist strident and agresive, cycling through red lights and so on, on the other hand I know some who know cycling on the road can be dicey but do it for fun and exercise.

limnam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120844651#Comment_120844651

You don't need to go anywhere near the upper echelons.

You see it on boards on a daily basis.

The penny looking down on the hapenny springs to mind.

I don't get the performative aspect of the wellness vegan life style, thats a modern lifestyle thing curating and presenting yourself in a certain way. I don't get why individuals use injectable cosmetics and it's performstive presenting themselves in a certain way. The point is at the end of the day it's their choice.

limnam

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120844701#Comment_120844701

The phrase how do you know someone is a vegan? because they tell you in the first 30 seconds of meeting them is a thing. Because it is a THING.

TBF I don't think they need a reason to be vegan. People can eat what they want.

One friend of mine is vegan as their parents brought them up that way. They've just never wanted to go any other way and has nothing to do at all with animal cruelty etc

Another friend turned vegan as his wife was a vegan and it was just easier. Again while for the wife it might be animal cruelty. For him it's just to make life easier on himself. He couldn't care less about the animals.

All very nice people (hard to imagine) ;)

But should any of them turn preachy or think they're above others. Then they will become cnts ;)

Pawwed Rig

How does someone telling you they are a vegan hurt you though? If I said to you that I love scrambled eggs would you be similarly offended?

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120845114#Comment_120845114

Somebody being vegan doesn’t hurt or offend me at all, maybe it hurts other people? They just annoy me if they preach about it, the same way as any religious zealot or anyone fanatical about something who is positioning themselves above others because they do x. Somebody being vegan and not shouting about about it, happy days :)

A now we all get annoyed at some people, it's human nature expecting perfection from ourselves is bit much.

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120845291#Comment_120845291

Exactly but I suppose the purpose of the thread is why are we annoyed by people who do more for the country/environment/themselves? Is it that we recognise something lacking within ourselves and know that we should be doing better?