Boyfriend wants to meet friend without me.

plane2556

So my boyfriend and I were originally meant to meet one of his best friends together as he hasn’t seen him in a long time.

My boyfriend then said to me “don’t take this the wrong way, but would it be alright if I met my friend on my own? I haven’t seen him in ages and want to spend time with him alone”

maybe there is nothing to be concerned about but I just find it odd that he was all about me meeting him and now he’s wanting to meet him alone all of a sudden..

his friend is engaged and is happily in a relationship and I have have met this friend a few times..

Annasopra

Can you talk to your bf about it

Explain you are a bit confused.

stargazer 68

OP maybe his friend just has something he wants to tell him or discuss with him without anyone else around! Not that odd really

Victor

Maybe the friends has troubles and would like to have a one-to-one.

whydoibother

Hopefully it’s not an ex of his… you can’t trust anyone nowadays…

Ten of Swords

Doesn't seem that strange to me, what specifically bothers you about it?

Has your boyfriend ever given you a reason to doubt his motives?

Have a conversation with him about it, no sense building it up in your head.

plane2556

@Ten of Swords

At first we were going to meet his friend together and then only yesterday he said he wanted to meet him alone but not to take it the wrong way.

yes, my boyfriend was sexting other men behind my back a few months ago. He swore it will never ever happen again, apologised etc said he doesn’t want to lose me etc..

this friend he is meeting is engaged to another man, my boyfriend told me before that they have a “past” but that they are now only best friends.. this is what worries me that they are meeting alone and his friend is also staying the night with him too..

JayRoc

.....

whydoibother

It’s like this, plane2556, he better be honest with you. If he’s really bi, like you say, and you’re ok with it, then go ahead, but he can’t be trying to lie to you. You need to be honest with each other or the relationship won’t work. You can’t be lying to each other forever.

Kurn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120825952#Comment_120825952

For me, that's a red flag.

I can only answer you based on my experience. So here goes.

He wants to meet his ex (he has a "history" with him- so he's an ex of some sort) alone and spends the night together. Red flag. And a big ask from a partner.

He's been sending saucy messages behind your back - but won't do it again. He absolutely will do it again. Based on what I've seen on dating apps being married or engaged means absolutely nothing to some people. I'd sit him down and explain calmly and clearly your concerns and if you don't have a discussion that satisfies your doubts take it from there with your own initiative.

JupiterKid

If it was an old friend that your boyfriend was going to see alone to have a chat with I would understand, OP - but the fact that he is an ex, has sexted lots of other guys and is planning on spending the night alone with him are all huge red flags.

It sounds like your boyfriend does not want to commit to your relationship and if I were you I would put my foot down over this total disrespect for you and ask him not to stay the night with this "friend." If he won't agree to your request, I would part ways if I were you. He won't change.

So many gay guys out there who are utterly selfish and inconsiderate of others' feelings just to get their jollies as often as they can.

It's fine to have an open relationship if BOTH parties agree to the terms and rules - my partner and I have this arrangement and it has served us well over the years - but to expect one's unwilling boyfriend to acquiesce to cheating and self-serving behaviour is wrong and immoral on every level.

plane2556

Thank you all for the advice, it’s much appreciated , I will take all of that on board and hope for the best. The guy he’s going to meet alone is engaged to another man and is one of my boyfriends best friends.. but before they met their partners they had a history together..

bb1234567

People wanting to meet old friends alone is totally normal, I love my boyfriend so much but it can change the dynamic when you meet old friends. Some of the interesting things you know about each other might be fun to talk about but might be alienating for my boufriend who might not know much about the topic/story whatever.

And sorry but with your boyfriends history and circumstances, it doesn't really apply. There is good reason to be completely suspicious of all of his behaviour and motivations for meeting the guy. Suddenly meeting alone, the recent sexting others behind your back, the fact it's an ex, the fact they are spending the night, honestly it couldn't really sound more like a planned affair, I'm sorry to say.

brownej

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058304285/boyfriend-wants-to-meet-friend-without-me

how did the rendezvous go? spill the tea!