How to help colleague

Gael23

Someone in work opened up to me about how a health issue they have is impacting them at work but they are afraid to seek the help they need for fear of it being used against them. I have some similar issues though of a different nature so kind of feel I need to do something

Im not sure how to handle this, should I just encourage the person to tell their manager what they told me or something else I was wondering is do I kind of cryptically say something to their manger and get her to open a conversation?

Hooked

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058295781/how-to-help-colleague

Used against them? This isn't the 1940's. Workplaces have a duty of care to their employees. If this is impacting their/your ability to work - there are steps you can take with your GP, etc. I'm sorry to sound so curt - but it's JUST a job... your health should always be your/their first concern. Not what someone may say/do/think at work. Get seen by a GP, take leave if necessary - providing certs or claiming benefits along the way. If work try to use that against a person.. solicitor next.

I've seen colleagues battle brain cancer, dialysis, heart surgery and transplants over the years - all while putting "the job" in front of their health.

You only get one life.

There are plenty of F-ing JOBS out there!

SuperBowserWorld

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120573708#Comment_120573708

👍

I think this is one of the most important posts I've read on boards ever.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120573708#Comment_120573708

...oh god, you d be surprised how discrimination of illness/disabilities etc is truly still is a problem in the modern world, yes employers are suppose to be equal opportunities, fair, and blah blah blah, but reality can be a truly different thing altogether.....

...yes some of the above certainly is great advice, but is it truly possible to live on benefits such as da and illness benefit etc, is it truly possible to pay rent/mortgage etc etc....

...again yes, there a plenty of jobs out there, but that doesnt mean individuals have the qualifications/abilities etc etc, to get them, walking out of one job straight into another isnt a reality for many, if not most....

....again, reality really can be a very different thing altogether...

...we should always be mindful of these realities before responding.....

Gael23

Agree with the sentiment but someone that’s vulnerable or perhaps would find themselves in a precarious position if they lost their job doesn’t see it like that

SuperBowserWorld

Agreeing with @Hooked above as it's too easy to solider on in a job when you need to look after a specific health issue first.

If you don't this, you risk loosing your health and your job.

I think people are terrified to ask for help, especially people of an older generation.

Also, the situation is different for everyone re employer, job market, personal circumstances.

But, the fact remains, you have to put your own personal health first, as if this is not in order then you can't help yourself or others.

Hooked

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120573832#Comment_120573832

I'm sorry. My reply didn't mean to hurt or offend anyone... But I have no time for all this dancing around the 'if's, buts or maybes'. If I was to be "mindful of these realities before responding", no one would get advice/an opinion from me. And it's just that. One mans opinion.

Tough love is how I operate. I don't sugar coat it... Too many people try to "work around situations or appease people" and it only adds to their stress or woes. If you have a health concern, that's priority no. 1. Not "what if" my boss uses it against me. The sooner people start being more selfish with their physical and mental well being, the better off they will be long term.

The whole world stopped for almost 3 years due to Covid... and when it started spinning again, we all forgot VERY QUICKLY how little you actually need to survive on...

Big Bag of Chips

Have you an occupational health department?

Mrs OBumble

OP is your colleague a safety risk, to themselves or to anyone else?

If they are, you need to tell a manager or HR.

If not, then realistically you can only encourage them to consult a health professional and take their advice.

Be careful not to give medical advice yourself, or to get sucked into providing emotional support which you are not qualified to do. You can provide peer support, for sure, but be very careful about your boundaries.

Hooked

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120573876#Comment_120573876

But that's my point... people need to see it like that. When we are gone, we are gone forever. When you lose a job, break a bone, crash a car, it's temporary! Nothing should be more important than one's own self (well-being). As soon as you give into the fear of the manager, the reaction, the "what if's" the sooner you can focus on yourself. If you/they carry the additional stess and worry around daily - it's worse than the fear of losing a job... in my opinion.

We're only here for a good time, not a long time.

Hooked

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120573831#Comment_120573831

Thanks. Really appreciate the compliment.

I wasn't always this opinionated or focused (on myself)... but as I get older and see good friends either struggle with health or pass away suddenly from preventable illness(es), you learn very quickly that life is INCREDIBLY short - and no job, money or friend in high places can help you - when your time is up!

notAMember

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120574112#Comment_120574112

Covid is a good example.

Another common example is pregnancy. In an ideal world this doesn't affect employment. In my experience, if the pregnant employee's contract is not not fully iron-clad, still on a 6 months probation for example, then she gets summarily booted out the door.

I can understand the employee's concern. We don't know the ins and outs of their contract or position. Your tough love is coming from a place of privilege, where your rights are fully protected and you're not ever getting pregnant. This is not the same for everyone.

OP, you can encourage them to tell the manager or HR. It's not your place to overrule their privacy. You could discuss something very generically... pose a "for instance" question if you wanted to get some information for your colleague, but even that would need to be done cautiously to protect their privacy.

patmahe

I think you need to encourage your colleague to speak to their manager rather than do anything on their behalf (you may not have the full picture). Only you know the culture of the organisation you work for, but they should be quite understanding particularly with issues of health, we all get sick at times and some of us are unfortunate enough to get very sick and that's what these provisions are there for. The first thing your colleague needs to do is give themselves the best chance of a prompt recovery and it doesn't sound like they are doing that.

If you aren't satisfied with that, something you could do is drop into conversation with their manager, depending on how close you are, (and especially if they bring up the subject first) that you never know what's going on with anyone at home or in their private life, but that's about as much as you can/should do. Don't overstep here, its not your decision to say it. (Exceptions to this are things like if the person is driving a lorry and has an alcohol addiction issue).

Wanderer2010

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120573708#Comment_120573708

That quote should be sent to every single worker on the planet. We are all just a number and the biggest mistake you will ever make is thinking you are irreplaceable. Nobody is irreplaceable.

brownej

You should encourage your colleague to get the medical help that they need. The company should have sick pay policies. These can range from generous full pay situations down to just statutory entitlements. Your colleagues health should be their priority.

You should not tell a manager or HR about something that was told to you in confidence unless there is a safety risk.